This exploration feels very poignant for me - it's one I've been working on and is now coming to a peak.

I'm in a relationship with someone who seems to very closely mirror the energy of my twin flame.

My partner is quite bipolar - she has a wonderfully playful, creative and softness to her. On the other hand her inner trauma makes her go through phases of extremely irrational emotive projection. I've been called incompetent when I don't get something as quickly as she does, or compared to other men, or called unattractive. Expectations which I can't meet. And at other times there's a huge appreciation and loving intimacy. There are many beautiful moments of co-creation.

It's clear I manifested this relationship to actualise the realisations I've had since breaking up with the mother of my children 7 years ago. I'm now mostly standing my ground, not letting myself get pulled in. Yet, occasionally I do get pulled in - the barrage of attacks eventually wears me down.

It's feels like I'm on the brink. There's a feeling in me like it's a choice between the relationship and ascension. I sometimes go into fear of the pain it will cause, the sense of loss, or of what it will do to her as a single mother who so easily gets overwhelmed by life. But there's a resolve to keep pushing through, even in the good times.

Right now it's about living life how I feel and being very clear on that, knowing that it will bring out her insecurity - watching if any guilt comes up. Then it's up to her how she responds to it. I trust it will resolve how it's meant to without forcing, but simply by being authentic in every moment. Calling when the dynamic feels limiting or abusive, and also enjoying the more harmonious times. Then having the courage to take the necessary steps when they present themselves.

Change is a coming! It feels bloody scary at times. But it's the only way through.