yes i'm afraid. and as much as i don't let it define me, i fully allow the feelings...

doing that i feel that there is more fear in me out of compassion for all that is than for my own self.

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there is that 12 hundred year-old story about the Shambala Warriors in Tibetan Buddhism.

Shambala Warriors are in fact boddhisattvas, helpers, gate keepers, those who are born to aid humanity. It was prophecied that there will come a time when our world will be in great danger. And that we'll ALL have to evoke the Shambala Warrior in our own selves.

as we are all potential boddhisattvas... because the fact that already one human being can be it means also that all can be it too.

so compassion is one big thing in becoming a "warrior" in this age. It gives the fire of the heart, the strength to proceed, to go on...

but it's not enough as it can burn us out. Wisdom too is needed. Wisdom that little is enough.

in allowing my feelings i also touch fragments of this wisdom (living in us all) telling me that however little it is that i am or what i do - through the interconnectivity of life each single breath has repercussions beyond my capacity to see - and each step, even the smallest act with clear intention, in this incredible interwovenness of the web of life, has a cosmic effect.

But that little - whatever it is - has to be done. And done now.