Hi Open,

thank you for the reminder about reflecting back on one's journey. I do it less often than I would like to but when I do it, it provides incredible assurance and support forward. When I look back through the last year, it's truly amazing what has unfolded in my life. And it's really the smallest decisions to change something about your life that grow into huge motions. Reminds me of the butterfly effect.

There are so many good examples of that in my life through the last year. Coaching, tai chi, walking, OMAD diet (still working on it), vegetarian diet (coming from low carb/keto), writing... Even the fact I'm writing this proves the point that big things tend to grow from the smallest seeds of innovation planted in your life. And it's still so surprising to me, every time! Like with coaching - the idea came around November, I first started slowly with self-learning but then in January a sudden impulse led me to search for official courses (as I found out that the Labour Office can compensate the fees fully). Guess what, I felt guilt for googling the courses instead of what I 'should be' doing - contacting employers and applying for jobs. Yet I felt the rightness of it and it turned into enrolling into an official training of what appears to be now my current passion and light on my path forward.

I do wonder though, where lies the border between good innovation and indiscipline? How can you find it for yourself? I know that rigidity and dogma is dangerous but so might be disrupting a routine for me. When doing so, there is a danger (at least in my case) of falling into some bad habit instead of beneficial innovation. On the other hand, I usually can't even follow my planned routine day after day and from time to time I have to disrupt it and do something completely unexpected. Sadly, sometimes it's just procrastinating, internet usually. I used to see this fact as my laziness and indiscipline, however, I have been recently feeling that it might also be some inner impulse that invites me to change my perception of discipline and rigidity. Sometimes though, this resignation to a routine takes me away from what I consider to be a right action, too (the word self-sabotage possibly comes up here?). And then guilt arises for not doing anything.

The fact I can't tell the borders of healthy discipline makes it very tiring sometimes. Trying to build discipline, unable to do so, falling down and rising back up. Like a hamster jumping on a fast spinning wheel, being fired out right away, while it somehow might feel it doesn't even need to jump there but is too scared it would be unable to live without a proper order. If that makes any sense.

I will be grateful for any reflections. Thank you

Dominik