Hey Open!

This is a BIG one for me! I can also really relate to what you shared above about Sirius..in a way that I normally don't see in myself. This weekend I am on a family vacation in the mountains ...what I find is this sense of wanting to maximize the experience...find the way to connect all the dots so that we don't "waste" any time and get to do all the things we would like to. Plus I think it gets pretty overwhelming when three kids are asking what you we doing today and you don't at least have a loose idea. The trouble is I have difficulty staying light about the planning...I totally immerse myself in this process and get caught up in the high of my super "effectiveness" LOL!! Meanwhile, who's to say what is really given for us to explore and experience if I am not tuning in?

All of this figuring and calculating and organizing to make the "perfect plan" and what happens? My kids find two left over cardboard boxes laying on a huge grassy hill next to the hotel parking lot and spend the next three hours "sledding" down the hill! Best fun ever. Lots to learn!! I joined in and my kids are yelling "ah mom! you feel like a kid again, right?!" - so great! It reminds me of staying new in the moment - without need or expectation - open to a ride on a grassy hill on a makeshift sled.

Also, this issue of running over with my agenda has been a big one in parenting...I have worked a ton on it...remembering that everyone has their own things to experience and integrate is so essential to taking my foot off the gas pedal of what I perceive as "the way"...it's really so basic and obvious ego control...but the underlying fears/lack of trust/addictive habits can make the grip pretty tight.

Thanks for all the feedback! <3 Jen