Hi Jen.

Your post resonated deeply with me. The issue of family bonds ( loyalty) and feelings of isolation, exclusion and being ignored/ostracised/left out are all things I've been working with. They were karmically related and the connection landed with an almighty thump ( after the retreat that didn't happen but was powerfully effective as a result). I traced my pattern of loss and exclusion first back to a major past life incident, of being banished from a community, then even further back ( possibly to Sirius) as raging at god for cutting me adrift. I pushed back against my sense of growing alienation from my present larger family, in a way feeling victimised and hard done by. At first I withdrew, probably excessively as a type of statement, a child-like impulse to sulk and gain a response. Then, with brutal self honesty, I picked apart the pieces and saw the pattern repeating itself in this lifetime. The huge karmic revelation recently brought everything into perspective. Seeing this allowed me to authentically manage my family dynamic with a much lighter touch and lack of expectation or desire for any outcome. Curiously, the family dynamic began to change under its own steam. It was as if my lack of reaction and increasing role as a non-judgemental observer was the key to healthier expression. I see things differently now and have unburdened myself, feeling more freedom and alignment. I hope my account provides reflections for you and enhances your journey. I honour you as I do contributors to this forum and the beautiful tools and insight they provide.

Andy