Hi Paul, it's great to have you tune in with us and to share your experiences. The first thing that jumps out is your honesty, and I applaud you for that. Profound self honesty is always the first step to change... "this is where I am right now, and this is what's honestly going on." If if I can't find the will to change at this moment, it's essential not to try to paint some rosy gloss over the situation and go into avoidance or denial. Instead, keep bringing awareness to the situation, because eventually, the light will initiate change.

So this is the first thing that stood out for me...

Honestly I have been feeling depressed. There’s been a deep sense of shame that I havent had the stones to follow the Pull to leave my career 6 months ago. New avenues have continued to open since then and I continually remind myself that trust is not an all or nothing deal. But the world seems grey and I’ve watched myself placating it with overconsumption and mindlessness.

Patternwise: All of my primary father figures have simultaneously come into my life.

"The World seems Grey". This is strong, and I play that back to you, to explore into - what do you really feel about that?

It clearly sounds like it's related to the paternal energy. Is that something you strongly looked up to? Is it something that overshadowed you? Were you often picked up for things? Usually this can lead to not feeling good enough, or never quite making it - not reaching one's potential. Often a father will live their own limitations through a son. The paradox is that it can feel loving, yet with the subtle limitation conditioned in.

So I would regress into these feelings. Explore, feel and express them (which could take a few hours or days even). Then ask.... what do I get from this energy? What do I appreciate in it?
Then ask: why do I still require this kind of paternal figure?
Then meditate on figures in your life who represent this energy. Work to recognise you have this energy already in you - because you couldn't appreciate it if you didn't. Crucially, work to embody that energy inside of yourself.

My sense is that this is where a key aspect of your soul is being blocked, which might well account for the limitation and therefore depression.

Wishing you well with it

Open

PS - for anyone exploring the patriarch energy and the influence in their lives, might like to read this article...
Moving Beyond the Patriarch Distortion: Breaking into Enlightenment