Thank you Open ,

Containing my anger and breathing with it from 4 am onwards today brings up the following reflections

I am most angry at myself for allowing deep conditioning to kowtow my own inner Feminine knowing to my more linear Masculine. The very deformed masculine has yet been a safer route to take rather than the more diffuse deeper Feminine knowing within .

Last night the husband of a good friend went into hospital with biliary infection . The bile is the conduit of anger . The baby who has just has surgery on his penis to grow it a bit is also ill- probably a wound infection I ' know' what these two incidents mean in conjunction with my anger. They seem to reflect back to me the inability of my own spouse to contain my anger - I have to do it myself. The little baby ( his mother is also Megha !) Is my own masculine ,infantile and riddled with infection ,but trying to get better. Seems to me to reflect how once I have made a deeper connection ,I am able to heal the masculine within and without me .

Holding girl's circles is my edge.The last one I did a girl told her Mom that she was being abused .

Haven't ever trained for them ( unlike my profession) . And suddenly after all these insights ,something shifts and the resistence I felt dissolves. I feel that it's the right time again . My anger has given me so many gifts and seems to have so many more in it's depths

Lots of love to all those tuning in. Im a little ashamed of oversharing

Megha