What stood out for me was the word 'Conondrum' . That's the word I used when writing my diary.

I am having some very disorienting Kundalini experiences these days ,some of them seem to be triggered by a soul mate who in 3D is a colleague at work. All this in the backdrop of a hectic ICU where we have been collaborating trying to literally save the lives of two little girls on the ventilator. We are looking Death in the eye. The six year old is better ,the eight year old may or may not make it. For some reason it's important I write their ages .

I wrote today how my ego prefers to form a narrative ,a story and interact with that rather than the real and raw emotions and sensations I am feeling. My soul is multidimensional. My small I would like to linearize it to make it palatable . To attenuate the emotions somehow. The conundrum internally is to feel I to the emotions not to my interpretation . It's a glorious paradox .

To feel into pure Presence ,I imagine would involve feeling into the tumult present right now ,first .

Onward !

Megha