Dear Open ,

I am feeling a strong dismantling for sure . There have been plenty of tears and even a barrage of anger that I was unable to contain . My husband ,poor guy ,was caught in the crossfire between parts of myself that want to feel safe ,and that want to be in the flow . The spark was the retreat in Brussels . He really wants me not to go ,and I really want to. It was not pretty .

Later,whilst doing you yoga I held in my arms all the parts of my sobbing self ,especially the little girl that felt she needed to be someone else - good, efficient ,a great student just to fit in . I am feeling all the self directed anger now as well as all the grief .

I am on day 9 of a cleanse and I am seeing how many of my patterns are 'fed' by food !

Feeling very raw today ....and can't comfort my way through food .

Megha