Dear Open ,

As I have mentioned before I have a deep heaviness and very constrictive sensations that I am feeling into on the left side of my body. It is remarkable as to how different the left side feels compared to the eight. It is 430 am in India and I have been up since 1230 trying to feel into it. It seems to be a tonne of old traumas coming up almost at once . I have had an interesting morning softening into the left sided source pain . Images are coming to me - trauma mostly and the word abandonment and betrayal was resonating a lot with me. The epicentre so to speak is in the heart . I can actually feel I to the portion of heart muscle that holds the memory of the pain . As I breathe softly into the dark denseness ,four hours later there is animation on the left side . I see images of a tree with leaves compared to the rather cold,gnarled twigs I was seeing earlier. A friendly alien or two feeding on self judgment was summarily dispatched .

Yesterday was a very interesting mirror day. I attended a seminar on sexuality after which there was a gong meditation the vibration of which ' loosened' something up in the left side . Later in the day I was called to attend to a group of thirteen orphan girls all of which were abandoned ,some raped ( betrayed) by their families. There were some girls that were mentally and emotionally challenged in the process. I was particularly moved by the ten year old who is incontinent at night because of abandonment anxiety .

As I sit in tears at her pain ,I fee this connection to Sirius pain as well - losing ones family ,feeling abandoned and being in a void of despair.

Lots of love to everyone on the retreat . I am so looking forward to Belgium. In the meantime ,it is back into gently breathing into the left shoulder ,neck and heart for me ❤️❤️❤️

Megha