Thanks megha, Miha and Open for expressing. These are good reflections for me as I'm pasing through something similar. It's interesting Miha used the word guru syndrome as I wrote an article about that, what I saw in spiritual circles and I'm seeing it in myself. I can see that as a thread to hanging on to relationship as it offers some feedback which I perceive as missing. It's also balancing out other distortions of addictions, entertainment and comfort.

What is my true relationship? When I come into a place of such partnership relationship, I sense the motivation to connect or be of service to the wider world diminishing. My true orientation says, I don't want to do that as passion is also diminished. The room is getting smaller so to speak. Yet I recognise how I have created this reality and sitting in that unresolution seems to be the key now. It's like peeling of layers of what I thought I needed and coming into truth. How would I not create such convolutions in a world where my authenticity and this work is not recognised. I don't have a degree , a position or even a robe.

It's also quite interesting as I feel universe is kind of playing a joke on me. Especially when something like this as happened the opportunity for a wider and higher service is calling strongly reminding of my orientation. I'm fortunate enough to be in the Openhand energy at this time.