Dear Open, and Rich and LtJ,

I am going to ask this query here.

So I have been offered a position in a rural village in India, close to where I am building a cottage. They are willing to change all the rules for me as my vision (of extending medical care to far flung areas using a combo of simple tech and training) seems to be gaining traction - even though I have NO Clue even how to start because the models there so far are for profit. And I envision something much better.

(The first thing my interviewer said - "your soul isn't satisfied, is it?")

I am looking forward to the change of tack in my current work and life situation. Inevitably, the fear gremlins come up - how will I afford it as single mom(it's a 50 percent pay cut) , I will be far away from community and the soft comfort of city life etc. What will become of the legal cases against me.

I am still going to jump.

I am also looking to be away from the city which needs a truck load of effort for me to be borderline conscious. And I suspect it will be the impetus to really be able to handle a lot more facilitation work which I have just started.

I think my question is my lack of ability to take the Universe's nudges in this environment. When I am in the desert or in Nature, I find it so much easier to ascertain signs and synchronicities. Here it feels like much of my energy is dissipated in protecting my senses from almost continuous onslaught of mechanistic sounds and experiences in the centre of the city.

I meditate quite regularly, have restarted fasting and have made creativity a practice, but I think (as Rich describes) I have to spend a significant amount of effort fighting the tendency to numb.

I would be happy for any reflections in this regard because I suspect I am creating rather linearly at this point.

Megha