Hi Marije,

Of course we've connected privately about this several times. I'm right there with you, and plenty of others who are at times feeling similar. Please allow me to explore a few key points with you...

At the moment, I am really struggling with all-oneness and all the distraction tactics that I have developed to run away from this feeling of aloneness. I am trying to catch myself before getting into the distraction, which often comprises of connecting with people or if there are no people available by eating or connecting with the Internet.

Coming truly into the void is no easy process. There will be many times when the soul 'dances around the edge' of the Void before truly penetrating into it. Yes, we create all manner of distractions to avoid the pain of the simple truth that is so often overlooked in the spiritual mainstream: you are essentially alone. Because we "are all one", there is, at the highest level, at the core, only one presence - on your journey as the soul, you start to merge into it, at the heighest levels, and as you begin to touch it, that's when we truly start to explore the aloness. It is necessary to break through this into the Enligtened state. And then the amazing paradox is, you can truly enjoy the multiciplicty of souls and experience too.

You went on to say...

There is a hesitance in writing here, because in the background there are subtle judgements of failure that I should be stronger and able to overcome this, particularly as someone who is listed as a facilitator here to support others in their journey of unfolding, when I don’t even seem to be able to support myself in this process.

None of us is perfect - in the universe of the relative, perfect is not possible! For me certainly, the path has often been defined by my 'failures'. Many qualities combine to make a good spiritual facilitator. Right at the top of the list, I would say, is profound self honesty. We can help people BECAUSE we've gone through those challenging circumstances and thereby can reflect back. But if we smother the truth, we won't be able to take another into their own repressed inner pain. We're all going to go through tough times - actually that's what makes a great facilitator - having journied and suffered, and come through. Just as you continually do!

You then went onto say...

I am aware that even connecting with the OH website here is a distraction strategy to avoid the sense of aloneness, which brought up the contemplation how it would make me feel if I would consciously completely disconnect from the Openhand community for a while, let’s say a month to start with.

If that's what you genuinely feel, then that's what you must do. But also remember that the key central theme of Openhand is to confront the truth. We don't mindlessly distract people with wishy wash! We're here to be a mirror, to one's inner self, in relation to the circumstances going on. I would say take a look at what you do engage with on the web, and be discerning what is of true value and what is merely lightweigth distraction.

We're all there with you Marije, and I know you'll be with us, when we need it too.

All love

Open