Thanks, Fiona. Yes, I'm feeling that it's best to have someone hold the space for me. It feels like the fierce love I hold for my children (ever ready to attack anyone who threatens them), the fear of losing them that I've had since they were born, my sense of feeling abandoned as a mother, and the anxiety and self-judgment I've experienced as a mother go way back to abduction, DNA manipulation, and traumatic birth experiences related to the Intervention. I had the most terrifying dream a while back when "they" came for me. I was paralyzed with fear and felt totally powerless and abandoned. As crazy as it sounds, watching "The X-Files" re-runs right now provides some kind of weird validation for what I'm sensing and vaguely recalling.

Catherine