Dear Open and Friends,

Life in this physicality is both wonderful, through sensual experiences, and dreadful because of the built-in violence of nature and the humankind destroying its livelihood. Humans have been allowed to become a dangerous species. I understand the original mistake and the idea behind unwinding it, but it doesn’t make it easy to accept this status quo.

I am livid because I was forced to be a part of the treachery that is happening on this planet. Yes, I’m angry with Gaia for allowing this mess. How am I supposed to work myself into accepting this? Whose idea was it to send this warrior soul to earth and make her sit back powerlessly and watch the atrocities? Please do not tell me it was my idea, hhhhhh… My soul brings in the motion, the dynamic stillness, the manifestation. This energy does not like to be contained; it feels best when it is channeled, channeled into stillness as much as manifestation. It knows it needs to work with Gaia now, but my sapiens resistance is choking that flow.

Reka, you said: “Gravity is love”. I believe that too... You, me, Gaia, we are all made of the material created by the stars. Iron in our blood exists because of tremendous gravity forces within a dying star. Isn’t it a true labor of love, where a celestial being perishes to make US possible? We are in touch with the gravity forces from beyond this galaxy. The same can be said about the love streaming towards this planet. We are the dying stars looking back at ourselves in the night sky. I feel that every time I look up.

I am a creature of the Universe, I have no need for a mother or a father. I feel a strong pull to work with Gaia, but I see the ones working with her believe she is their mother. I believed to work with her I have to shape myself into that mold. I do not like shaping myself into molds as it fragments my energy. That is what I am resisting. I do not know how to work with her and remain myself. I feel now the knowing has already occurred, it hasn’t manifested itself yet in this density. This makes me calmer and I can breathe deeper. I know, many will not like nor understand where I’m coming from. I can be ok with that now.

I am puzzled looking for Gaia. It may sound silly for some, but I do not know where she begins. I connect well with the living beings, especially trees. Am I connecting with her through them? Perhaps I need to hang out with people who understand Gaia and feel into their energy exchange with her and learn from that? I think I’d like that very much.

I was angry with Gaia for allowing this mess. She is a powerful being, could she have prevented it? Or has she sacrificed herself knowing that someone has to endure this prolonged pain, otherwise the atrocities would recreate themselves somewhere else? Perhaps she volunteered for this role despite the pain she knew it would cause her?

There is also another issue: I feel a strong affection towards those that can’t keep up with Gaia and the fast-evolving ones. I am seeing this is as just another case of natural selection, survival of the fittest. This makes me contract because I feel all life is equal and not all beings have the same choice here. I feel I’d rather stay with the disadvantaged ones and honor their pain, because their pain is my pain and everyone deserves to be held. I want to serve as a last minute bridge/support and will hold hands of those that will not make it. I do not know what it means, perhaps I will become fragmented, it doest matter, this is what I see is coming.

I just thought that after we die, the molecules forming our bodies may become a part of a new star that will give a life to another beautiful planet. I would like that very much :-)

Namaste

M.