Hi M.

Yes, it's about the ego, attachment, and identity melting away. I am fearful about this process due to heavy conditioning about being super responsible for just about everything since ancient times long, long ago, and far, far away. I'm shifting this with the help of an Openhand facilitator. Together we came up with the strategy of high five-ing myself with a loud clap of my hands to snap me back to presence when I get lost and to help create new neural pathways.

I was profoundly moved in Open's book when he described what was behind Chris Bourne's car accident: letting go of all his attachments, including to his lovely children, and to life itself as he prepared to die. His experience totally blew me away. But it also provoked a lot of fear about being so vulnerable to such total and complete surrender.

Right now soulmotion to catalytic music is helping me express my pain. The vibes and lyrics to Coldplay's song "Fix You" strike the right chords deep within. I'm not looking to anyone to fix me as the lyrics go or to fix myself. But the song helps me to surrender, accept and feel into my pain, and shake its grip loose around my heart. Sometimes I curl up in a fetal position and rock back and forth to the rhythm of the music, tears streaming down.

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones..."
~Coldplay "Fix You"

Afterwards, to get the joy vibes going, I move wildly and madly to upbeat music to help re-wire my DNA.

Thanks for being in my corner, soul sister, and for challenging me to break apart so light can flow through the cracks.

With appreciation for your support,

x C.