I just re-read Open’s response here to my December sharing. It is a wonderful reminder for me at this moment as the experience is still unfolding.
Acquainting with the wild animal that was standing between me and the lily (the divine) in my vision was only a part of the journey. It is really the lily that I’m afraid of. I see the reflection of the divine in another that continues to shine sometimes unbearable light at me. The light is so strong and there is nowhere to hide, there is no choice but to see the distorted parts of me, the behaviorisms, even the abandoned dreams!... and the light that is underneath. The reflected light seems to disable my usual coping/hiding mechanism and forces me to look at the distortions. It brings up some good amount of fear...But who is really the one afraid? The ego? The OC projecting at me? Karmic conditioning? All the above? Can’t be Me. What matters now is feeling and softening into that fear. I've been getting strong synchronicities indicating the rightness of the process... the message being "stay with it". I saw my animal guide 5 times in the wild in the last 3 months! There are other synchronicities suggesting highest attention to my internal processes.

I spent the last 3 months gathering courage to glance into that mirror, shrinking back (sometimes because there is simply too much light and freedom in it), gathering more strength to glance again, etc. Open, you said:
“Now imagine the entity winds an energy 'tentacle' around the aspect of soul that is returning to the source, and subtly distorts it - in this way, it can assimilate the highest frequencies of love energy - it's pure manna, and very attractive for OC.”

Yes, I totally get what you’re saying. When this derailment happens it feels like my energy is boxed up. There is a sense of circulation, but the circuit is much smaller, tighter. The stream of energy is also thinner and it charges the attachment to being safe and being taken care of (perhaps it feels thinner because most of the energy is consumed by the OC and the rest is used for the internal circulation to reinforce the conditioning? Yep, it does feel like a big chunk of energy just disappears. Both the feel-good sensation and fear of abandonment have a numbing effect and when they are activated I lose sense of where the energy is going). The feel-good sensation feels pleasant and warm, but at the same time it proportionally charges the fear of abandonment. So, I sometimes watch myself allowing this temporary feel-good, numbing energy to work through. I watch for the trigger just before the derailment happens and sit with the awareness of it.
When the energy derailment takes place I notice the resistance growing within (resistance to being owned), but it doesn’t feel right to act out of that place. So I try to stay with the resistance and once that resolves, there is a pull for an authentic expression that originates from outside of the box (where there is no such thing as “being owned”). It feels spacious, open, like a powerful waterfall, an unstoppable current. If my action originates from within the box, it is destructive, controlling and it charges up the safety-abandonment attachment. It feels so good to be able to share it here on the forum. I feel more awareness of this process anchoring in as I type. I feel like sitting with what it means “to be owned”…getting a strong disgust-like intervention-related angry reaction to that one.

You said: “It requires being profoundly honest with yourself, especially in relationship. To be vigilant about where you might hit blind spots, where you might give over power - where you might go unconscious. You may find yourself pulled in two different directions”
I spent the last 3 months being close with this incredibly strong mirror. That time felt more like 3 years for me as I’ve learned so much. We both agree that we’re just relating for now and we openly recognize both, our attachments to one another and the growth that happens as we move beyond it. The experiences brought up my ray 2, which calmed down the ray 1 (which was strongly influenced by the distorted need to control). Sometimes I feel ray 1 and 2 playing in such a beautiful harmony as they come forth together! I’ve always imagined them taking turns, never playing together!
I’m taking a short break now from the experience to just be with myself and soak in the learnings. It looks like I’ll be back for another 3 months in another 3 weeks… as I’m typing this I begin to realize that it is the ray 3 that is knocking at my door at this moment. I’ve been getting strong synchronicities about number 3, but thought they were just invitations to feel deeper into myself (numerologically my number is 33).

And yes, I often feel a pull in 2 different directions and it becomes clearer that one direction means numbness, safety, the old me and the other feels like unknown, freedom, unleashing the authenticity and the fear of all three. From the 3d perspective it appears crazy to pick the freedom scenario. It doesn’t make any material sense and it might even appear as uncaring toward some loved ones. For my soul though there is only one plausible course of action. It’ll either crash me or make me. We will see.

With love.

M.