Margaret ,that sharing has been the best New Years gift ! I am so humbled to receive it and its been more helpful than I can put into words .
What you describe as a buzz is exactly what got me suspicious that this was some sort of sham or just my old patterns coming up to be healed .
"I find dealing with someone who is a powerful mirror to be a real art, sort of like a martial art. It can transform us if we keep it free flowing or it can tumble us over rocky shores if we try to suffocate it"
That is exactly what I have attempted to do the past few days . Just watch the manic emotion swell up and subside within me and lovingly hold it . Responsibly contain it rather than reacting with shame and anger at my own "weakness " or get lost in fake fantasies that have at their foundations deep childhood wounds .I have also intuited that many of these deep wounds made me extremely antagonistic towards the male gender in general . As I am doing this with the trigger being in my workplace I often get it wrong ,but lately I have started to look at it as a long path that it is important I walk rather than a distraction I need to suppress.
In fact I was not in any sort of relationship with this person given the fact I was so powerfully triggered ,but now that I am getting better at discerning the learning in this situation ,I have struck up a friendship with the man . And I am feeling a very new sense of camaraderie with men as a gender, my Fear of them seems to be dissolving and I am far more heart centered around them .
As you beautifully put it M ,this experience is a minefield of opportunity to learn and heal .And as I feel more and more grateful for the healing ,the sheer compulsiveness seems to wane .
Watching and Learning ,

Megha