Dear Steve ,
I have been in the presence of Death so many times now . And it's a powerful catalyst seeing all that you held dear ,all the images and the stories reducing to dust in front of your eyes. It strips away all our well constructed defences and makes us come to face with our quivering fragile humanity . I have been there with many babies and their families. I was there when my father died after a two year long battle with brain tumour . It was horrendous seeibg my beloved Dad being reduced to a vegetable with no bladder or bowel control.And yet ,as I suspect you see already ,there is such Grace in this . The heartbreak that you are experiencing can if you allow it,take you the very essence of yourself and your loved one. I was never able to have the conversations I wanted to with my Dad. I was never able to ask him about what he felt about dying ,stripped of the dignity he held so dear . And yet ,I did have them at some level .
It is probably one of the hardest things we deal with in our lifetime . And like most hardships ,there is a fierce beauty ,a subtle blessing that we are able to perceive only after we have allowed ourselves to feel the very depth of our grief .
My heart goes out to you !
Megha