Caring without being attached

Hi there,

So there's an issue I've been exploring recently, and it's one I've struggled with up to this point, particularly at home.

It's the issue of being caring about things/people/issues without being attached to an outcome. It seems like a very fine line to walk. How can we care about something, nurture it, watch it grow and not be attached when it dies in front of us or falls into suffering? I realise that there is a judgement here of where the flow is taking us, like perhaps the suffering needs to be experienced, but it's still difficult is detach from this sometimes.

Today I got upset with my daughter as she lied to me. I observed to my partner that she is starting to lie more frequently at the moment and she said to me that it's normal for kids to lie. She said, 'didn't you lie as a child?' and actually, while I did on occasion, I actually made it a point to tell the truth even when it was me that did something bad (I know, what a square, right?) I can completely understand the compulsion to lie, but does that mean that I should just laugh it off?

As I type, the answer is becoming more clear to me, though I know that practically I often get carried away with things - my partner says I care too much, which I think, in the way she means it, is quite wise, as it creates a lot of internal tension.

I'd be interested to hear other peoples experiences/perspectives on the balance between caring and being unattached.

with love


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Thanks for the awesome reflections guys!

Trinity - great breakdown of non-attachment vs. caring in regard to parenting. That's really summed it up very well. And it can be applied to the wider context of caring too, not just with kids - 'caring is offering without imposing' - really resonating with that.

Open - Indeed, you picked up on another challenge there. I have had blind spots with regard to getting frustrated when I see people around me sabotaging themselves. And, you're spot on saying that it's always about us. I have to confess I sometimes miss opportunities to go inside and enquire, when caught up in such a busy family life with lots of sensory input around me.

with love



Lest we ever forget (!), it is never about "them" - the situation is always about us. So what do the various exchanges kick off inside? What veils need to be removed? Essentially where are blindspots or unconsciousness being activated?

As the veils fall, then it becomes clear how to act.

One of the most challenging things about being in family is where everyone might be at different levels of consciousness. And so some people are living in a certain reality, which might be very contradictory to yours. They're seeing it one particular way - which you know (in your reality) - is distorted. And yet it's their truth - or at least the truth they can handle at this time.

Sending love

Open <3