The Liberating and Empowering Effect of Absolute Forgiveness

Submitted by Open on Tue, 06/05/2018 - 05:49

On Openhand's level 3 course DIVINICUS, we explore deeply into the importance of not apportioning blame and instead taking full responsibility for the lives only we are creating - at a soul level, we draw everything to ourselves in order to learn, evolve and grow. One vital aspect of this approach is that of forgiveness: realising the other person is not to blame for their distortion (and my creation) and therefore being able to forgive them. In my experience, this is one of the most liberating and empowering things we can do. But if EVERY situation is purposefully designed by the natural flow for us to self-realise, then is there truly a need for forgiveness, and if so, what might that look like?

Taking responsibility

This is an important realisation in the Openhand book 5GATEWAYS: that to blame another is to disempower ourselves because basically we're saying: "something outside of myself, over which I have no control, is the cause of my beingness."

To truly empower yourself as a being of the Universe, is to realise and accept, that you are the creator and therefore the master, of every single situation you manifest - that nothing is 'being done to you'. By the natural Law of Attraction, you draw every experience your soul requires, in order to learn, evolve and grow - to be able to be integrated as an experience of The One, through all universal possibilities.

When this realisation dawns, as we give it breathing space, we might look back through our lives with profound self honesty, looking at every situation from the perspective of, "what was I being invited to realise?" Then, if you inquire deeply enough into any karmic source pain you were carrying (see later), I believe you'll surely see, how synchronistic patterning guided EXACTLY those situations and circumstances to you. It appears that every person who comes into our lives is helping us self-realise in this way and has a "sacred agreement" to help us evolve.

Finding the blessing

So if this is the case, then it begs the question, if every person who 'commits a crime against me' has a sacred agreement to help me evolve, then what is there to forgive?

If in these circumstances we're being offered a priceless gift of self-realisation, even if it can, at times, seem almost impossible to integrate and be accepting of.

Consider the biblical story of Jesus and his relationship with Judas (it matters not whether you believe the story to be true, it's the story itself that can reveal an important realisation). Judas was castigated as a 'traitor' in the story, taking his thirty pieces of silver to identify Jesus to the Romans. But we might consider the crucifixion helped Jesus move beyond his own shadow identity ("why have you forsaken me father?"); he was caused to realise that he and the father are one (just as we all are), that he could never be abandoned even in the midst of total violation. It was his own shadow identity seeing itself as separate from the all that is, that was being crucified, and therefore dissolved, leading to Jesus' Enlightenment. So then, if my take on the story bears water, Judas was actually performing an invaluable service not a 'sin' - yes he certainly had his own distortions, but the engagement was created in order for the various parties to expose their own shadows.

Absolute Forgiveness

The story also illuminates another crucial aspect of this . It is to realise that each of us manifests the situations we need at a soul level, to expose karmic 'shadows', where in a past life, the soul has identified with a particularly traumatic situation, and has then become fragmented into the trauma. The fragment of soul gets buried under layers of repression, retraction and denial - avoidance of the original source pain.

It's utterly essential therefore, that we regress into these karmic past life situations when they arise. Not to try to push away the pain, to bury it, or placate it. And neither to simply gloss over it, by painting some premature layer of spiritual acceptance on top. To be truly The One, is to be able to accept the fullness of the Universe, both the darkness and the light, without needing to change it. So by regressing into one's trauma, provides the possibility of complete acceptance by becoming as-one with the pain. Only then do you come to realise, it does not define you. At this point, you discover yourself as The One, and reclaim the fragment of soul gold that was buried in that inner karmic sediment.

This is why I call the approach "Absolute Forgiveness", because you really have to soften into the absolute in order to process any buried karma and become as-one with it, so as to liberate the aspect of soul that was buried there.

Consider this 9 step healing process for dealing with karmic source pain.

Digging for the Shadows

How might we apply this approach in daily life? Well I invite everyone reading to deeply confront situations where we might consider another has 'sinned against us'; to see the possibility for deeper self realisation that was presenting itself - what were you attached to? What did you need from the other person? How were you needing them to be?

And most importantly, what inner reaction, what 'shadow' does it activate, that I must now work into? Here's an Openhand video on dealing with those inner contractions and how they present an amazing opportunity to unleash the soul through them...

Is Forgiveness even Necessary?

When we're able to empower ourselves in these situations and reintegrate soul through them, it begs the question, "is there a need to forgive?" I would say that when you've reached the point of complete acceptance, where that's helped you find The One in the situation and reclaim a lost aspect of soul, then the answer would be no, there is no need to forgive. At the same time, at that point of surrender, in the work that we do at Openhand, we still find offering the sense of forgiveness can be valuable - it lets each party know that acceptance and integration has been attained. 

At this point, you might say something like...

I accept what took place, thankyou for helping me become whole and complete. I see the light in you. I forgive you.

But crucially, only AFTER complete regression into the incident, acceptance of it, and liberation of the soul from the situation.

Absolute Forgiveness then is actually to become awesomely okay with what took place, becoming The One in it by finding peace within your heart, seeing the blessing within the event, taking ownership of the gifts of beingness offered, and then finally, when all judgment has dissolved, forgiving the other person. In a way, it becomes a blessing.

Forgiving another Meditation

On Openhand's level 3 DIVINICUS course, we guide people through Absolute Forgiveness meditations, by regressing them into the original situations and guiding them through the density. People always find them exceptionally liberating. So here below is the kind of meditation approach we apply, that you might also like to work with. It's taken from the 5GATEWAYS book...

Forgiving another meditation - Create a loving, warm and protected space with incense, candles and soft music. Relax, using deep breathing and visualisation. Allow an experience to arise in the past where you have suffered or were abused at the hands of someone else. Contemplate deeply the situation where you suffered, visualising what you would have seen, hearing the sounds and feeling the feelings. What thoughts and emotions are arising for you? Watch them, feel them, fully express them, so as to become as-one with them.

Go deeper into the situation and contemplate the main perpetrator/s. What was it that caused you to suffer? What were you attached to? How were you forgetting this is all an illusion? Now contemplate what was the blessing? What was the lesson? What were you being invited to realise? What aspect of soul is now wanting to come through? (maybe will and power for example). Can you now integrate that aspect of soul and let go of the suffering and pain?

When you know you are ready, feel the darkness gathering into a heavy, dense ball in your right hand and then next see the ball dissolving into light. Then visualise the perpetrator. Connect with the soul in them. See firstly their perfected light. Can you now let go of your resentment, fear or hate? Can you release yourself from judgment? Keep working at it until you can let go of all such negativity.

If you would like help applying the Openhand Approach to Forgiveness, feel free to contact us.

In loving Support

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(Publishers - please publish with links intact and the Openhand brief biog. Thankyou <3)

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I think understanding and applying the more evolved approach to forgiveness is a great spur and catalyst to one's path. The power of absolute forgiveness (as I called it in the article), is recognising that you are the creator of all experience in your life - that you draw everything to you, even the most challenging of circumstances, in order to evolve and grow as a being. Nothing is ever 'done to us'. That's the trap of disempowerment. If we find ourselves blaming someone 'out there', then you've immediately lost the source, the causality, 'in here'.

I always find it's helpful in these situations to ask oneself,
"Why did I create that?"
"Why did I need it to go a certain way?"
"How did I need that particular person to be a certain way?"
"What could I not accept about the situation?"

As The One, you create everything and everything moves inside of you - everything emerges from you. And so at that level, we can accept everything has a purpose. And at a soul level, the soul is working to integrate and forge self-realisation through all circumstances - to empower by becoming awesomely okay, whatever transpires.

You'll often hear people say, "forgive and forget". But to me, that's not necessarily a realised approach. Forgiveness yes, but if a particular person has revealed themselves to be and act in a certain way, that might be of detriment to my circumstances, it would be nonsensical to simply ignore this possibility. Yes, it's loving to hold the space open that they could change, or could have changed. But events and circumstances also naturally impact the landscape that the soul flows through. That landscape is always open to change and transformation, but I believe you'd be disconnected and ungrounded in reality if you didn't see reality the way it truly is. And ususally things change progessively from one step to the next. They tend not to alter in one giant leap (although of course they could do).

So I'd say forgive yes, but be mindful and attentive that the situation or person has had a tendency to be a particular way. Allow for the possibility that they'll change, but confront reality the way it really is, without any spiritually correct rose-tinted glasses!

That would be my reflection. What's your experience of that?

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Reading your profound and beautiful message detailing your lovely meditation and the revelations of light has put, what feels like permanent, goose bumps all over me!   The synchronicities that many of us have TRIED to put off as “coincidence” (I say tried, because we surely always knew deep down inside that there really is no such thing as coincidence😊) seem to be increasing at an exponential rate and the sightings of numerical concurrences begin to culminate all of the memories of past synchronicities and revelations of oneness that have come throughout your lifetime.  In my case I was blessed to have parents who journaled and recorded things that I said to them when I first began speaking (back when it is impossible for me to remember) and this allowed me to "know" that harmony was present even then.  I told them (as did my youngest brother) that I chose them before I came and that I knew they would love me and support me forever as they always had.  My mom was especially confused by this as she is not an extremely spiritual person, but she recorded it.  Then, when my brother Tobin said the same thing, it was journaled as an “odd coincidence”.  She did, however, tell me that story often and also told me how I told everyone (when she was pregnant with my brother) that I was going to have a “Shinese brother”; this part I remember because I was five and it was so clear to me.  My parents tried to explain to me (thinking that I meant “Chinese”) that they were not of Chinese descent, so it would be “impossible for you [me] to have a Chinese brother”.  I remember insisting and being somewhat upset that they did not understand.  To further the mystery, no one knew the gender of the baby (you often did not get that information back then, I am older 😉), I knew the baby was going to be my brother.  We are both “Shine-ease”.  We remain the closest siblings that I have ever known, and I always regarded him as more of my son than my brother and treated him as such, giving him every bit of love and support that I am able to…we live far apart now, but it is never but a moment lost when we connect again.  

For all of us, in one form or another, there has been support present.  It is only when you truly embrace your light and shine on for others like our benevolent and compassionate sun is feeding it through you that support comes to you from every direction.  You would not believe the things that have happened only in the last few weeks and the level of joy that will just not end…I sometimes think to myself “this has to end at some point.”, but then I realize that is, absolutely, untrue.  It will have lulls and peaks, but it will ALWAYS be present when I reciprocate my light with the oneness.  I am so grateful to you for your embracing your light and allowing it to shine through you to the oneness.   I, and infinite others, support you and cherish you!!!!!

When I read Rebecca Campbell’s book “Light is the New Black”, she mentioned creating a “tag line” for yourself so as to integrate the connections with something tangible to human construct.  Immediately that song, that I sang so often and so passionately as a child in my Christian faith, came to my mind and I thought “This light of mine is not so little” …that became my personal “tag line” and I embody that daily.  It is big enough for all of the oneness and it is shining especially bright onto you and the beautiful soul that you are raising…how lucky our children are to have such loving support in their journey!!!!!

I am truly inspired by your oddyssey and hope that you will keep letting us watch it unfold! 

Shining with you Soul Sister!



“This light of mine is not so little”



Hi Julie - it's certainly great to be thankful, and highly evolved to be able to do so even when 'kicked' Thumbs Up Sign

Wow Aphroheidi - I am bowled over by your sharing. You've certainly been through the mill in many ways. As challening as these experiences you describe can be, clearly you're able to see the karmic lessons in them and use them to propel you forwards. It is certainly the making of spiritual centredness and strength. So I take my hat off to you, and invite all here to read your story, because it is a true inspiration.

Much love and support

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I watched the video this morning, after yesterday's experience, and I realized that every word is true and, even though I will have to give the kids back (while I continue to fight the battle to press criminal charges against this judge, a VERY long process) for a third year of school with their dad in another state, I am in acceptance and I can forgive their dad every day, because his struggle is his own and his "sickness" is his own and this journey has made me whom I am today and I know that I am a good person, my intentions (even if I accidentally cause harm) are always pure and come from my heart.  I have never been more proud of myself for the grace with which I can walk through tragedy.  It is the Universal Oneness, Single consciousness that gives me that light.  I am so grateful to be a member of Open Hand.  Namaste

In reply to by Aphroheidi


Hi Aphroheidi,

I decided to respond on this thread instead, as it feels a bit more relevant than the other one.

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. So many profound elements, but the part I love the most is when you finally decide to chuck out the “I’m crazy” bit and start to really listen to the guidance you are being given. There is so much liberation that takes place at that moment. Like your whole perception of the world turns 180 degrees.

I went through something similar when I first started hearing the baby souls. It wasn’t just the realisation that they were really speaking to me, but also the sudden epiphany, that I had in fact always had this gift but never acknowledged it as anything more than figments of my vivid imagination. Earlier visions and experiences suddenly fell into place. Even the children themselves had appeared to me back in my twenties, leaving clues as to what might transpire further along in my life. It’s so amazing when you finally see it, isn’t it?

I want to thank you for the encouragement to shine my light and embrace life fully. This has always been one of my greatest challenges, but I feel so much support from the universe at the moment (through you, for example), I’m actually beginning to believe it is possible. 

Last night in my meditation I saw the seed of my soul as a tender flickering light. Its essence was of the purest innocence and intention. I held it ever so gently in my hands, as you would hold a baby or a tender flower. I felt into the fear of what other people might do to it, the sadness in the possibility of this light being misunderstood, threatened, put away, confined, even extinguished. I also felt the need to protect it, just like a parent is called to protect the innocence of a child. Not by building walls around it, but rather by creating space for it to just be and grow, until it gains enough momentum to take off of its own accord. Around this light of mine, there were a thousand other lights, just the same. Each moving through space in a little bubble, a bubble waiting to pop when the light inside grew strong enough to naturally explode it. It was beautiful. As I was watching this sight, the old gospel song repeated in my head...

🎶 This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine...Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine...🎶

Much love to you 🌟❤️🌟




Since I was old enough to recognize the formation of words I have been a "seeker".  I honestly had forgotten that at some point I would "find".  How simple it all is. The amount of trauma that I have experienced in my life is unfathomable.  I have always had this amazing ability to get to forgiveness and acceptance.  This last trauma, however, involved my children and it has been the largest struggle of my life.  This has truly shaken my very foundation.  After having survived childhood molestation, gang rape, cancer (3 times), domestic violence at the hands of my spouse and, ultimately, seeing it happen to my children...escaping the situation only to be forced to give all the power to the man that abused us because of his money and influence convincing a judge that I kidnapped my own children...I almost lost the profound, optimistic, enormous and monolithic faith that I have and what has evolved and become an eclectic collection of what I currently believe to be true.  Since I teach yoga and meditation I was forced to continue my practice even when it did not hold truth for me and actually caused me pain, because I felt that I was being inauthentic.  I realized that the Universe wanted me to continue the practice, even if it was not feeling real for me, because those that I teach have their own need and their own experience to have with what they are given and how they see it through their soul's purpose.  I continued day after day, month after month, feeling such a heaviness in my heart about my children being apart from me (at the very young ages of 3 and 5) and being with an abusive person whom only has them to hurt me and has failed to even teach them "please and thank you".  Whenever they visit my heart is full, their safety makes me feel calm and I am at peace.  When they go back all of the agony returns.  I continued the practice.  Several days ago I came upon this web site, completely by accident, when I was examining the word "Catalyst" for the grant I am writing to obtain funds to provide holistic services to offenders whom are entering back into their communities through Work Release.  These people have made vast mistakes, paid for their crime(s) and are truly looking to change their lives and become a productive "changed" member of society, which makes this something that benefits EVERYONE.  I want to call our practitioners, teachers, peer groups, counselors (everyone whom helps them change) catalysts.  That word brought me to an article, which brought me here and...woah.  Every single thing that I already believe in and practice(d) was culminated here.  Yesterday I taught my classes outside and felt the change happen for me.  I had no expectations of it and it came as a complete surprise.  I felt the sun on my skin, I felt the Universe fill my soul, I felt the words I had read on these Open Hand(ed) pages and I felt that Universal Oneness from which I had become separated.  It flooded through me and created the most gigantic goose bumps on my skin and tingled up my spine and almost became painful in my third eye.  Everyone in my class felt it happen too and our final "Namaste" was so powerful.  Thank you SOOOOO MUCH!  From the depths of my eternal soul!  I now remember that the pain IS an illusion and I am reminded that we are all one mind, capable of all imagined and all conceivable.  So, with that said, from the words of my favorite musical artist (the one who helped me purge my anger when I walked through and experienced the traumas that I mentioned above and the band that was nothing like my "peaceful" and "pacifistic" self, yet evolved right by my side over the years of my trauma pre selected as my karmic path) Tool:

"Parabola"We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment

We are choosing to be here right now

Hold on, stay inside...

This holy reality, this holy experience

Choosing to be here in...

This body, this body holding me

Be my reminder here that I am not alone in...

This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal

All this pain is an illusion


In this holy reality, in this holy experience

Choosing to be here in...

This body, this body holding me

Be my reminder here that I am not alone in...

This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal

All this pain is an illusion

Twirling round with this familiar parable

Spinning, weaving round each new experience

Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing

A chance to be alive and breathing

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality

Embrace this moment, remember, we are eternal

All this pain is an illusion




I know that I have been metaphorically “kicked” when I was the most vulnerable in my adult life. I also know that it has led to my most challenging experiences with forgiveness and karma, which I work on regularly. But, it has also helped me know the true “me” on many different levels and has been a part of moving forward on a spiritual path that is more in alignment with my truth. And I am thankful. 


That's very powerful Alex.

Yes, I've seen much underlying karma activate from the subltlest of feelings. Hence the importance of being with "what is".

Be well within the experience.

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