Understanding the Root Cause of Depression to Effectively Deal with it

Submitted by Open on Wed, 01/28/2015 - 19:05

Can you believe it, 70% of Americans are on some kind of prescription drug and more than half receive at least two prescriptions. High on the list of drugs prescribed are antidepressants. I find that shocking. Not least, it speaks about the dysfunctional nature of society in terminal decline. The system is not working! I imagine practically everyone suffers from some kind of unhappiness or depression from time to time.

Why does that happen?
How might we deal with it in an effective, spiritual way, without prescribing medication?...

The not-so-merry-go-round of society

I believe there are many reasons why people suffer bouts of depression, and to me, I sense it's mainly - if not always - due to a dysfunctional relationship with the divine. I observe in the work I do with people, if we can get that inner relationship aligned and ticking well, then depression and other disfunctional experiences dissolve away.

I put it to you, that the root cause of all Depression, is a dysfunctional relationship with the divine.

Society has conditioned people to look for some kind of end goal in the outer world, and created a system of enslaved consumeristic addicts. Rather than attaining sense of completeness within, people have been made to believe some achievement, attainment, or physical manifestation must be the subject of their longing. Most people have been sold a lie, and when the lie doesn't fulfill, something must be prescribed to fill the sense of loss. It's a not-so-merry-go-round fueled by big corporations to make profit. And there's no bigger cash cow than the 'health' industry. So this is probably the number 1 reason people get depressed - they've been sold a lie which can never fulfill the sense of inner completeness. Worse still, prescribed drugs tend to lock people into the disconnection - they manage the situation rather than solve it.

Meditation is a powerful solution to this 'madhouse'. I was running a course recently where one person had been steadily reducing from a daily cocktail of 18 prescribed drugs each day! Regular meditation, and seeking inner completeness, has reduced that to just one - soon that will fall by the wayside too.

So regular spiritual practice, where you're looking for a sense of completeness within, will help immeasurably, if you find yourself beginning to feel low or depressed. Meditation helps activate endorphins, which block the take up of negative neuro peptides in your bodily cells. They help you feel good (here are other ways in generating endorphins...The Uplifting Effect of Endorphins).

We are alone in the Universe - we are "all-one"

But simple meditation is not going to be the end of the story when it comes to kicking depression into touch; there'll be other reasons too. When you seriously get into the game of self-realisation (is there any other game going on?), then your soul will connect you all the way back to the Source - back to completeness, which is the Void of Silence preceding all activity.


It's on this journey, that at some point, the soul realises something crucial: that the soul in itself, is not an identity, but a stream of consciousness - a stream of experience. It means there's only one self in the universe - the One; and you are that. I've witnessed many people in spiritual work arrive at this realisation. And in the beginning it can feel very lonely - you realise you are entirely alone in the universe! How do you deal with this?

As within any resistance to reality, you have to deal with the tightness it creates. In this case, that's likely to be depression. But you can't solve it by distancing yourself from it, by pretending it doesn't exist, or popping some pill to 'cure' it. That just perpetuates the problem, which you have to face further down the path (or medicate to drown the effects). No, you have to get into the heart of it. So if you feel alone, be alone. Take yourself off and feel the aloneness. It's all about Transcendence - you have to feel through any kind of distortion like this in order to process it.

So let yourself be alone, fully express the aloneness. Then you'll probably come to the realisation that as The One, it doesn't matter, because you already are everything and have everything - plus you've manifested these relativistic experiences called 'souls' which give you the awesome pleasure of being reunited with yourself. So the penetration of the pain (the sense of aloneness) leads to this sense of joyful completeness - the knowledge that the world is full of resonant souls that you can interact with (it's no doubt why social media for example has become so spectacularly popular).

The Pain of Existence

On the journey of the soul back to the source, you'll probably also encounter the "Pain of Existence". It's the realisation that you've brought the Universe into being (through no fault of your own) and now, you can't switch it off! Wherever you go, whatever you do, you'll find relativity creates some kind of experience - even in the desert you can still hear the 'sound of silence' in your ears and beating heart. But what you can learn to do, is to transcend reality altogether. How do you do this?

You have to be totally in the moment, and totally accepting of what is arising for you as an experience. If it's tightness, unhappiness and resistance, embrace it, feel it, don't push it away. Work at becoming 'as-one' with the experience; which means to be so intimate with it, that it's like you've been completely submerged within it. Watch yourself within that, feel yourself penetrating through it. And you may then stop defining it as some kind of judgment the ego has made.

Right in the midst of the feeling, see and feel yourself 'stepping through the experience'. It's like you open a doorway right through it, into pure presence itself. You can do this only because you no longer allow the feeling to define you, and you're not resisting it. In being The One through the experience, you will likely find the nature of the experience changes into one which is more harmonious. The Pain of Existence naturally disappears and with that the depression (discover more about...Breaking through the Pain of Existence).

Where's your Tribe, what's your Vibe?

On a recent Openhand Course, I was staggered at how many starsouls there were amongst the group. I can always tell, because I can literally feel their vibration. You simply know they've traveled here from other constellations.

Many of these experiences will be much lighter and more expanded (the earth vibration being pretty dense). Plus many will have a greater sense of unity and harmony. So you could well be a starsoul, who has the sense your real home is elsewhere (it's something I often hear). And being disconnected from your true 'tribe' can cause a fair amount of sadness - leading possibly to depression. In these instances, I encourage people to open a connection with their soul family - through their 'vibe'. It can be done in meditation: you simply have to open your heart and extend an invitation.

Then afterwards, watch supportive synchronicity shaping in the field - perhaps you're guided to a particular book or film, which gives a sense of something resonant within. Try to see past the purely surface level in order to appreciate this - see the 3D world, but always look for the deeper message, the Joy of MultiDimensionality.

Chemical Imbalances

Depression can also be caused by chemical imbalances - in the brain for example. Especially since our world is so full of toxin and society is so distant from our natural ways. This is where diet and supplements can be of great help. This is clearly a huge subject, so I felt here below, only to list three important issues which are likely to have some kind of impact on you or those close to you:

  • Fixed negative behaviour patterns: Conditioned depressive and distorted behaviours release negative neuro peptides that infuse our body. As previously mentioned, activating endorphins can greatly help prevent the uptake of these negative chemical imbalances. It's something definitely to be explored. There's no reason why we shouldn't have pleasure and joy in our lives (check out this article here...The Uplifting Effect of Endorphins).
  • Moontime: the adverse hormonal imbalances of the feminine monthly cycle - 'Moontime' - affects a great deal of women, and can easily cause anxiety and depression (having a big impact on relationships). Herbs such as Agnus castus can greatly help ease the burden.
  • Cold weather and Lack of Sunshine: In colder climates where the winter days are cloudy and short, this can lead to vitamin D deficiency, which is a known cause of depression. Load up on vitamin D; nurture yourself with plenty of extra sleep. Protracted cold closes the body down as a protection mechanism. But it can close your consciousness down too. So intersperse these 'hibernation' periods with plenty of aroma therapy hot baths and saunas, to soften internal body tightness and to open lighter, uplifted and nurtured consciousness.

Be patient and trust in the Inner Guidance Mechanism

Really then, for the most part, the route cause of depression is a dysfunctional connection with the divine. If we feel disconnected and isolated or can't find inner peace and contentment with our divine connection, then this is highly likely to lead to bouts of unhappiness and depression. But if we're aware of this underlying cause and how to work with it, then we can certainly kick depression into touch and turn our lives around.

It does take a good deal of work and attention - commitment to feeling into the experience, accepting it without needing it to go away, thus becoming 'as-one' with it; we penetrate the experience into "The One". It feels ordinary - awesomely ordinary. It's completely okay. Suddenly you laugh at yourself and feel much better.

Medication is no solution. It simply locks in the dissonant polarity and sense of separation from the divine. It just makes things more tolerable in the short term. No, it's a spiritual solution we're looking for; and if we open ourselves up and ask, the answers will surely come. We just have to be patient and trust in the Inner Guidance Mechanism of the Soul. Then for sure, just as I've witnessed in many people, you can kick any bout of depression into touch.

Also, do consider gettitng involved with the Openhand courses around the world - they're specifically designed to connect you with your soul and find realignment in life - so you may kick depression into touch!...
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In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji
(Publishers - please publish with links intact and the Openhand brief biog. Thankyou <3)

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Comments

and posted at the perfect time.Thank you for writing and sharing this. Lots of love x Abi x

Thankyou for such an insightful article Open, This has come at the perfect time for me also. Depression has had an impact on my life and continues to do so. Just when I thought I was free of it because I finally understood it, Ive just had another episode of it, and was questioning everything Ive learnt over the last few years, and understood to be true. I think that because of some of the wonderful experiences I have had attending your courses, I was able to remind myself that the spiritual journey I am on is real, and so is inner peace and divine connection . One of the worst things about depression is the logical knowing that meditation will really help, but feeling so low it was really hard to get myself to do it, however by just been patient with myself, and 'softening' into the feelings of aloness and emptiness has helped me to move through it.
With love Shar x

I have lately been finding myself slowly sliding into layers of depressive feelings, so I ended up revisiting this article today and I just wanted to acknowledge how helpful it has been to put things into perspective. There is a hesitance in writing here, because in the background there are subtle judgements of failure that I should be stronger and able to overcome this, particularly as someone who is listed as a facilitator here to support others in their journey of unfolding, when I don’t even seem to be able to support myself in this process. And even as I am trying to write here, there is a certain degree of censoring involved to still make it somewhat ‘presentable’, whereas a part of me would just love to uncensored write how much I HATE THIS FUCKED UP WORLD and how much I want to get out of here and disconnect from it all! And how I am finding it very hard to break through this pain of existence.

At the moment, I am really struggling with all-oneness and all the distraction tactics that I have developed to run away from this feeling of aloneness. I am trying to catch myself before getting into the distraction, which often comprises of connecting with people or if there are no people available by eating or connecting with the Internet. However, it is so much more tempting to give into the distraction, rather than facing the unpleasant feeling when I connect with the aloneness, which feels completely empty, a kind of nothingness (the Void?), where there is no real purpose to live this life. So it almost feels like the more I feel into the aloneness, the more depressed I feel and that the distractions are an unconscious mechanism to avoid touching the depression that lingers somewhere under the surface.

I can also relate to a sense that my home is elsewhere (and hence the feeling of wanting to leave this place to go back there) and this is somehow linked to a sense of abandonment; that I was somehow left behind in this shitty place, while I could have been elsewhere in a place of much more unity and harmony. Actually, today I had a nasty encounter with someone at the canteen of my workplace, when I walked into the kitchen to ask something and was immediately summoned in a very unfriendly and aggressive way that it was forbidden to enter the kitchen and that there is a signpost on the door saying so (which I hadn’t seen). I could feel the encounter triggered me and when I came back to my office, rather than going into usual judgements like ‘what an idiot!’, I felt into the feelings and ended up crying. Somehow there was a deep sadness about people treating other people like this and the loss of (and yearning for) a place where people can interact with each other in a more harmonious way, which somehow at a deeper level I know exists.

I am aware that even connecting with the OH website here is a distraction strategy to avoid the sense of aloneness, which brought up the contemplation how it would make me feel if I would consciously completely disconnect from the Openhand community for a while, let’s say a month to start with. It would definitely be a very effective way to further trigger the sense of aloneness full on.

Heart

Marije

In reply to by Marye

Hi Marije,

I can greatly relate to what you share. For me the experience kinda pulses in and out. Today I went to see the film "Adrift" - it was a remarkable telling based on the true story of a couple who are set adrift in the Pacific Ocean after sailing into Hurricane Raymond in 1983. For me it touched the feelings of feeling lost, adrift, off course. The film captured the sense of losing external support, guidance and connections that I might count on. In that it reflected what is found when coming through the feelings of isolation, abandonment and misplacement. It was a powerful film in which the heroine navigates choppy seas with a makeshift vessel and finds capacity and connection that weren't previously recognized. 

Not much to add Marije - but I thank you for the sharing and for being so open. <3

xxJen

Hi Marije,

Of course we've connected privately about this several times. I'm right there with you, and plenty of others who are at times feeling similar. Please allow me to explore a few key points with you...

At the moment, I am really struggling with all-oneness and all the distraction tactics that I have developed to run away from this feeling of aloneness. I am trying to catch myself before getting into the distraction, which often comprises of connecting with people or if there are no people available by eating or connecting with the Internet.

Coming truly into the void is no easy process. There will be many times when the soul 'dances around the edge' of the Void before truly penetrating into it. Yes, we create all manner of distractions to avoid the pain of the simple truth that is so often overlooked in the spiritual mainstream: you are essentially alone. Because we "are all one", there is, at the highest level, at the core, only one presence - on your journey as the soul, you start to merge into it, at the heighest levels, and as you begin to touch it, that's when we truly start to explore the aloness. It is necessary to break through this into the Enligtened state. And then the amazing paradox is, you can truly enjoy the multiciplicty of souls and experience too.

You went on to say...

There is a hesitance in writing here, because in the background there are subtle judgements of failure that I should be stronger and able to overcome this, particularly as someone who is listed as a facilitator here to support others in their journey of unfolding, when I don’t even seem to be able to support myself in this process.

None of us is perfect - in the universe of the relative, perfect is not possible! For me certainly, the path has often been defined by my 'failures'. Many qualities combine to make a good spiritual facilitator. Right at the top of the list, I would say, is profound self honesty. We can help people BECAUSE we've gone through those challenging circumstances and thereby can reflect back. But if we smother the truth, we won't be able to take another into their own repressed inner pain. We're all going to go through tough times - actually that's what makes a great facilitator - having journied and suffered, and come through. Just as you continually do!

You then went onto say...

I am aware that even connecting with the OH website here is a distraction strategy to avoid the sense of aloneness, which brought up the contemplation how it would make me feel if I would consciously completely disconnect from the Openhand community for a while, let’s say a month to start with.

If that's what you genuinely feel, then that's what you must do. But also remember that the key central theme of Openhand is to confront the truth. We don't mindlessly distract people with wishy wash! We're here to be a mirror, to one's inner self, in relation to the circumstances going on. I would say take a look at what you do engage with on the web, and be discerning what is of true value and what is merely lightweigth distraction.

We're all there with you Marije, and I know you'll be with us, when we need it too.

All love

Open HeartPraying Emoji

Hi Marije,

I have been exploring the feeling of being alone as well recently, definitely not to the extent what you are feeling at the moment.  If I were feeling what you are feeling, I would use that as an opportunity to go right into it so as to amplify it and normalize with it.  To accelerate the process, I would examine each distraction and not give in if i felt it takes me back to the comfort zone.  Doesn't mean complete disconnection from the world though.  And Openhand has tools dealing with this.  I am especially fond of Bow Meditation.   

Can you see the light in a person beyond the appearinces (ahh spelling, another distraction) even nasty ones. The words are challenging for me be written or spoken.  There have to be other more harmonious ways of expressing.  You speak of harmony.  I have a strong feeling that harmony you seek is possible in our world, maybe not permanent but enough to remind or sense of home.  Can you feel the breeze as you stand there? Do you remember La Palma, the trips, the kitchen fairies. 

I am always inspired by Gaia herself. How can she sustain so much beauty and harmony even in the face of so much disconnection from human beings.  I cannot even imagine it.  

Wishing you well with your process.

Anatoly

I just came across this short doco, about the Snow Patrol singer Gary Lightbody (what a synchronistically fascinating name!). The Snow Patrol music, like "Chasing Cars", has often featured as emotive inspiration on the Openhand workshops over the years. They always come across as so authentic, and tuned into a deeper feeling. What I hadn't known, was that Gary had battled depression (the subject of our lead article - see above) and alcoholism since a teenager. "Back from the Brink" is a short doco about Snow Patrol's inspiring new music, where Gary speaks (in true Openhand fashion) of battling his own inner demons by confronting them, and making peace with them - not trying to suppress them or push them away, by painting some rosy gloss of 'love n light' over the top. It's about being real about who we are. It's only then that we find alignment through our shadow side, and are better able to mediate the difficult situations we face in the wider world.

Take 10 minutes out today and do watch the video - it's amazingly warm and inspirational, especially for people who sometimes feel they're on the brink...

 

You can read the lead article above: Understanding the Root Cause of Depression so we can deal with it

 

Hi Marije , 

Like Open & Nialet , i feel given to offer u my own humble reflections on loneliness and the multitude of opportunities that situation offers . I can feel deeply about your situation with all my heart because i have been there many times during my 20's & 30's & early 40's . during those 2 decades , i was not able to explore it since i did not have any proper tools to work with . Of course , as a maverick not meant to fit in this society and its multilayer set of conditionings , even trying hard to fit in would have not worked for me as i tried that as well . So , i was often left alone , at school and even during sport training camps - all the while i knew i was seriously gifted in anything i would touch in sport ( tennis , table tennis , football , wind surfing , badminton , gymnastics , skiing , just to name a few ) .That felt as a double sword edge to deal with , all the time . Oddly though , when i went to 2 english training camps down in Bournemouth ( south of the Uk ) , i would discover how much i was open to social connectivity, enjoying it & even the sense of loneliness would just vanish like it was never there . That only lasted like 2,3 weeks . When back to Belgium , that sense would creep in again , in the background of daily life . Nonetheless , one thing kept me feeling alive and that is the sense of passion for Music & sport & adventure . That must had began around 17 years old when i realized that . My first live music concert was in 1984 , in downtown Brussels . I will never forget it . The Cure were playing at the Ancienne Belgique concert hall and i was excited to attend & experience something new . 

Even though living with a disconnected son - father relationship at that time , that passion for those 2 domains grew - chaotically , but it grew stronger as years went by . It was as if i was invited  to hold on because there was a sense of belonging , connectivity and aliveness even a subtle sense of recognition of who i am ( uncompleted , distorted but Real ). Those 2 passions kept me , all the while feeling alone on multiple levels & suffering in silence , in my own unique groove . I know so well that i could even have become a seriously gifted Professional in one of those sports - without a doubt . My downfall to be that was the lack of my Father's support & my lack of inner confidence . No way that would have happened without those 2 essential ingredients .

I am so impressed at the confidence / willingness & passion some High level swimmers show today , in this unbalanced world , for what they truly love , at a very early age !!! I often follow their steps on their personal Journey go growth . Some are barely 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 years old !!! Staggering maturity at an early age . One of which won multiple Gold medals at the London 2012 Olympics . Her story is interesting as she lately declared that she went on suffering from depression at one point between 2014 & 2016 . She was always a bubbly smiling talented young girl up to that point ( probably keeping that bubbly shining mask until it came into a meltdown later on ) . It shows that , talent & recognition & winning gold medals dont necessarily prevent some layers to surface up later which need to be dealt with . A bunch of other talented Us swimmers went on expressing ( nearly publicly ) how they suffered from depression at one point - whatever were the rootcauses . 2 of those are returning back to their PASSION right now , in 2018 & i am so happy to see that they are following their heart - no matter the outcome & have asked for professional help to deal with depression . Thats why i keep an eye on how they grow & evolve - its so rewarding and they are part of my personal true inspirations . They troubled path reflect deeply on the importance to deal with the obstacle/root cause/symptoms until the newly refreshed sense of being offers them the " Green Light " again . I am sure they dont feel the same right now as they venture back into their life with this new sense of commitment . 

On my own Journey, despite suffering from not exactly knowing why i was so often alone ( until my determination brought me to understand why )  , i kept a connectivity with my 2 passions - even if for some longer periods , i could not nourish myself with them properly . They were kept not far away ...waiting to be embraced again . I also met some beings that helped me through those very hard periods where loneliness / sense of abandonment / rejection would peak drastically & drag all my energies down back to depressive states . I tried all sorts of psycho-therapies around 2008 ( I had just passed a decade in term of age : 40 Years Old that is ) and synchronistically , thats when things got worse for a year , amplified , terrible !! from EFT ( emotional freedom technique ) to color therapy ,  Kriya Yoga first initiation , Thai massage initiation , Watsu , and even a dark spell remover i attempted !!!  I also started regular swimming sessions on my won after i was given that suggestion by a Watsu ( shiatsu therapy within a swimming pool ) facilitator . That helped me connect to a former passion i had left aside . Jeeeeeeeeez , that was an insane period ....until a breakthrough came into play early 2009 in the most unexpected ways . A  sudden radiant Full sense of Presence divinely appeared within on my way back to Belgium from India -  when i entered the Chennai Airport !!! Wow , that was something special  . I must say that  Some relations made a difference as well , and i was able to be more grounded , focused on a few small projects ( i learned how to paint and could travel again ) . Although Some fears & anxiety weren't to disappear so quickly , the shift helped me be a bit more to be myself & i could open up myself to new opportunities to learn and move on . 

Lately , i felt the pull to get back to one old passion : Drumming !!  and take some essential courses with an expert during the summer time . Rightfully so , i also bought a native small tambourin drum for the " Divinicus " retreat . Cant wait to use it to get everybody into the groove of some out of this world alchemical ceremonies . I waited for that " green light " for a long time now . 

Without those harsh periods , i would not be where i am today or conscious of where at am exactly right now . I am a ferm believer about connecting with our true passion(s) , giving time to them  and not giving up + keeping the spiritual practices that work best like : nature connectivity , Birds singing bathing , Trees connection & communication , sport activity , Music concert , dancing , writing down what one feel grateful for in life , singing along with the best songs i love, taking time with oneself aside with any " Doings " , swimming ,  trying something new , honoring the pain as best as possible , avoiding self judgments & self loathing , reading an uplifting book / article / video , activities that uses our hands ability and the full body - spending valuable time with uplifting close ones , giving time to the whole period . 

What would be that or those passions , dear Marije ,that u could connect with & feel a sense of Love for ? i am not saying it might 100% work for u as it did for me and others , but it might be worth exploring at one point this summer . It well might not be obvious right now , and thats okay , because i have experienced that as well when i was too much giving in into the pain and being identified with it . 

I applaud your sheer honesty and sharing here , its all the worth & will help u breakthrough at one point . 

Sending all my love & support , 💙

Jean Bluehopi 

 

Hey Hey and ditto!

I know the feeling all to well and the only answer to finding my way out of the myriad bag of depression is to understand fully and exactly why I feel that way.

Oftentimes I go between being utterly befuddled by the connection of everything to the oh that's really lovely there! I found equalizing within to be my answer. Which is no easy feat. So I walk forwards internally head down but externally head and chin up.. That sun will come out tomorrow!!!

Wyndè

 

Great sharings everyone! Loved the video Open.

For me I find feelings of depression come with a deep feeling of disconnection... And truly not wanting to feel disconnected. I find its in feeling the disconnection that I feel connection...even if the feelings are unpleasant, somehow with simply being with them, the sense of connection is then there and carries through whatever is arising. 💚

 

I greatly admire the open and honest sharings here about the challenges of walking the spiritual path. Thumbs Up SignPraying Emoji

A couple of key things spring to mind...

  • society is essentially a complex avoidance mechanism. People have gotten used to burying their true feelings, and placating the tightness with quick fixes: food, distraction, entertainment, busyness, soft drugs, and then, when even that doesn't work, medicinal drugs
  • and when the divine connection is discovered, then there are a myriad of other avoidance mechanisms causing people to attune, and attach, to false love and light for example, that there must be this perfect nirvana as an experience, in this density, here and now.

To me, the answer for it all is the Void of Presence itself. It is infinite peace, right at the centre of the storm, that encompasses and embraces the storm within it, that needs none of these situations to go away or be resolved, that needs nothing from the creation, yet creation happens through it - just not always the way ego mind would want it.

Coming into the Void is the deepest challenge, and upon arrival, suddenly you realise all the questions are answered - just by the sense of it. You realise every conundrum, every question, every search, was always leading to that hallowed place.

I believe many approaches in the spiritual mainstream have inadvertently 'packaged' peace and acceptance as another avoidance mechanism - there's the search for the immediate phenomenal experience of peace, found by detaching from any experience that would cause disharmony or by simply dropping your 'story' - which can sabotage the soul flowing through the story. And especially, dropping any tightness you might encounter as you journey into the Void - 'dropping the hot coals' is the metaphor that is often shared. But we must first become as-one with the heat, otherwise you create identity avoiding the heat.

Essentially, your journeying progressively through inner layers. And each layer is going to have various levels of karmic disharmony within it. Surrender and acceptance is absolutely essential, yes. However, it must be surrender to what is, to what wants to come up, whatever that might be. Then 'equalising' with that disharmony - which means to express into it, not to try to fix or change it, because there is truth in the expression, truth in the heart of that distortion. And we must seek to align the soul within the disharmony - the soul is the thread which leads all the way back to presence. 

It's like progressively contracting into the eye of a needle, where the distortion is being focussed into your reality - allowing that to happen. It's like the distortion blows up and becomes your reality. It's like looking into the distortion through a powerful microscope. So rather than avoidance of this tightness, you're doing the absolute opposite. The distortion is now all around you, in many of the things that you'll be doing - in your relationships and living circumstances for example. So now you pick your way through it, step by step, realigning your reactions into conscious responses. So with each passage, you're integrating and forging soul. 

Now at any point of such passage - passing through the eye of a particular needle - you can suddenly drop into the Void, and all the lights come on. You feel expanded, interconnected, at true peace - even in the storm, even with the hot coals. But don't expect or require that experience to stay. Because then the soul will journey deeper, and more will come up. The peace will disappear again, but if you keep confronting, and keep breaking through, then one day, all the lights in the Universe come on, AND STAY ON!

You find yourself resting in the Void, with life happening through you. This is Enlightenment.

Open Praying Emoji

I agree to your sharing jen. For me the feeling of depression comes with a feeling of disconnection from everything even Openhand. I have observed it serves to surrender any need for connection or expansion and continually soften into the experience. Not at all easy. All trying just leaves me frustrated more. I know the feeling may take a while to process and it helps to just be with it and bring kind acceptance into it. 

Yesterday i was just sitting at this hill side gazing at the clouds and birds with the cool breeze.  There were a myriads of crows sitting near to me. I have made it a pass time just to raise my hand once in a while making some sound and all of this crows would just fly away altogether. Usually i feel expanded in this place but yesterday i was feeling disconnected and i was contemplating it. And i posed this question " How would my soul work with this feeling right now ? " All of sudden the crows started to fly away altogether without me doing anything. I took the answer as that i don't have to do anything other than what I'm doing right now that is just BEING with the feeling. My attention was also drawn to this new shoots coming off from this huge tree which is very welcome change. Synchronicities are not part of my usual experiences and i have observed they are there more when i pause to pose questions. It was raining very heavily for the past few days and may be the trees and plants had to sustain heavy rain and wind for the new shoots to arise? 

Sometimes it also helps to just let go of any expectation how it is supposed to be. Some weeks back i was feeling the same thing and it was put off given that i was feeling expanded before that. This builds up an expectation of how its supposed to be all the time. And i was just trying to relive it and thus pushing it further - very subtle. At one point i gave up and went into what i really wanted. I took some chips and put a movie in my laptop. And it occured to me that i was really surrendering my intention which is like taking a weight,burden from my shoulders. This gives more space for the experiences to flow.

I've been learning that when I'm depressed or facing the void I need to maintain some level of contact with the outside world. I've gone through periods of complete isolation and though they were inspired by soul the mind would take over and force an outcome of unearthing something valuable. When I follow the urges to connect with the outside world even for brief moments I get something valuable from it that aids my enquiry. 

Dear all,

Thanks for all your feedback and reflections to my post! It somehow feels reassuring that I am not alone in my aloneness Slightly Smiling! Open, as soon as I read your passage ‘you are essentially alone’, I could instantly feel the internal resistance rising and my mind looking for and coming up with reasons to make this statement invalid... Just as I am including it here I can feel the internal resistance towards this statement rising again and I find the truth of that statement a very hard and dark place to feel into (its where I tend to run into depressive feelings).

I get the sense that there is some karmic stuff around abandonment/rejection coming up in relation to the feelings of aloneness. Whereby abandonment/ rejection leads to aloneness and therefore is to be avoided at any cost and carries a lot of tightness (hence making sure to please others, not to make 'mistakes'/be good enough, to not leave any room or reason for someone to abandon me). And beneath the feelings of abandonment lingers that empty feeling of aloneness, for which I have over time developed so many strategies to distract myself from!

Sunday evening I actually took some time to be with the tightness and after a lot of purging/dry heaving I felt a lot lighter and expanded, that I couldn’t even imagine where all the depressed feelings had gone or come from. However, the next morning when I woke up I was fully back into the density. This reminded me of what Vimal mentioned about expectations of how things are supposed to be and what you wrote above:

Now at any point of such passage - passing through the eye of a particular needle - you can suddenly drop into the Void, and all the lights come on. You feel expanded, interconnected, at true peace - even in the storm, even with the hot coals. But don't expect or require that experience to stay. Because then the soul will journey deeper, and more will come up. The peace will disappear again, but if you keep confronting, and keep breaking through, then one day, all the lights in the Universe come on, AND STAY ON!

It is such a fine line to be confronting truth without any expectations of finding relief in the process or for any sense of peace to stay! I have to stay that there is some internal scepticism about whether it is really possible to one day find the lights in the Universe staying on, rather than dimming again after some time! For now I am going to continue my inquiry into aloneness and abandonement without any expectation of what I might find on the other side of the eye of the needle!

Lots of love Heart

Marije

Marije, it's great that you are working through the density. I find a lot of parallel in our processes ,so I'm right there with you!

I feel that i didn't offer a balanced view with my previous post. Whilst it is important to accept and be with the depression and disconnection i think its also essential to look for commitment and will to find the light through the density. After the post i was feeling a lot of tightness and negativity and didn't even want to get out from bed or go to work. And just being with it i was sliding into more negativity and addictive habits. When enough was enough a a short yoga session helped me to let go and find the lightness. So yes i think a fine balance is important. Today evening magically i got back my stylish helmet i lost almost a year back! Not sure what's that supposed to mean( reclaiming lost aspect of myself?). But that felt really synchronistic to my process.

Vimal 

Hi to everyone experiencing loneliness and/or depression. My heart is with you all. If there's one thing that binds us all, it's aloneness. Paradoxical but we're all together sharing the same experience of being utterly alone. 

It's something I too have been going though a lot recently. In many ways I've had it with reaching out to people to connect. In some way I recognise this as trying the fill a hole (the void) with something external. And yet connection seems to be one of our basic human needs - it runs really deep (I guess a lot of Karmic history influencing this one). And so long as there are connections to be made, I feel to continue making them to enrich my life - but hopefully with the awareness that they will never replace the void inside or the connection to my higher self. I also would like to add that it's a tough time when you're letting go of all that you thought you were (ego) and yet not in strong connection with your twin flame. 

This song has been coming to me a lot lately. I wondered why but then got the strong pull to post it here. See what it does with people.

Rich, thanks for the beautiful song! I actually felt a pull to also share a song here in relation to the discussions above. I recently discovered Kina Grannis and her husband 'Imaginary Future' and really love their voices and energy. There are more great songs from them around on Youtube!

'Oh, even if we somehow lose our way, we'll be okay' 

Today i stumbled on this song and it feels to be perfectly in alignment with the Honest & profound sharings form everyone lately . I hope this time around , the video is properly embedded from yutube . 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns19PTEOqWE

Here are the lyrics : "Gift X-Change"
 

You say you're leaving 
Going back home 
Where's your family 
Where do you come from 

Something's missing in your life 
You've felt it all along 
Retrace your steps 
Balance and check 
Where it all went wrong 

The spirit is broken 
The path is overrun 
You can't move forward 
And now nothing gets done 

I hope you find some 
In a peace along the way 
Whatever it takes I pray you'll make it 
Home on Christmas day 

In case you don't find what you need 
When you finally arrive 
And your heart is snowed in 
There's no warmth or light 

Take this candle with you 
And this book of matches as well 
As you're climbing the walls 
There's no answer at all 
Except the gift you give yourself 

I trust that you'll find some 
In a peace through times that are rough 
What would it take to hear you say 
The gift you give is love 
The gift you live in enough

With much love , Jean 

Thanks Jean I love the sharing and you are so right {to be perfectly in alignment with the Honest & profound sharings form everyone lately }

much love

Charlie

 

Right about now, I can feel seasonal blues kicking off in the field. If your empathic gifts are active, likelihood is you might feel them too. It's because all the hype and expectation for Christmas that was built up by society cannot be fulfilled by the excessive consumerism. It mainly tends to disappoint. And so afterwards, people are faced with the (awesome) ordinaryness of life.

It's why I felt to feature this post today...
Understanding the Root Cause of Depression to Effectively Deal with it
(scroll to the top)

So if you find this happening to you, my advice is not to try to conceal, mask over or distract to make it better; rather to take yourself off for a few hours, perhaps in nature, find stillness and go deep within it. Work to accept the awesome ordinaryness of life. Look for the beauty in the simplicity - maybe a flower, a tree or a leaf - that this will always be good enough. Then let life unfold from this acceptance with appreciaition. It is sure to change the mood into something more embracing and upbeat - new creations will flow in their due time.

I felt to leave you with this Openhand favourite "What if this is all the love you ever get?" Can you be awesomely okay with exactly where you're at...

Hi Open,

Thanks, for bringing attention to this article again today. I don't have much to share in relation to this at the moment, but synchronistically I just stumbled into this video, which seems appropriate here:

Perhaps many are in need of a 'deep rest' from the character they have been playing over the festive period :).

Personally I work on the 'theory' that every type of pain is caused by some resistance to the flow, or non acceptance of what is. Therefore, instead of simply ditching the pain - depression for example - pause and go right into the heart of it with acceptance. Delve really deep, and touch the feeling at the core of it. Then you'll always get something positive from it.

To give an example, I feel like the truth of what's really going on in The Shift out there is not really being given a platform. I see lots of distorted views and non acceptance or avoidance of what's unfolding. And when the truth is expressed, only a small proportion are wanting to hear. That's hard when I know the message is global and feel driven to share it. So sometimes I can feel a degree down about it. But always when I go right into the heart of this, where there's little activity in the outer, I find a deep reverence, stillness and peace at the core of the feeling. It's what I call "state of grace". I find that especially in this reality, that feeling is utterly essential. But you do have to sit with the pain, or sense of injustice to find it. It is priceless when you do.

So my advice is always to explore into any pain, and work to find the positive in it. In this case what I call the "State of Grace".

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji

Hi Open. You coined that 1. Love how you put things in word form. Pain has become a best friend of "mind". I take it where ever I go. The difference after all the years I let it control me is now I stay aware and in the stillness with the pain, I am one with the pain and in that or those moments the pain is transformed to something totally different. It's kinda like first look at something that may be considered ugly, until you see the beauty in it.

It was a long time coming, but now I see the positive in the pain, it is on the surface and  not hiden.

Much Love everyone

CharlieHeartPraying EmojiHeart

As I am now in the midst of a painful experience, an experience cast upon “me” like a dark cloak suffocating any sense of innate truth, I feel to pulsate out from the depths of my being a radiance to absorb the dark faces leering their pain through my eyes. I don’t feel to sit within unjust pain. There is no beauty in darkness that obscures love truth kindness. I feel strength through the repulsion of such evil darkness. Yet it’s a pressure of a responsibility to respond with gentleness. To take “the high road” yet deep within I feel the change is only going to happen when played out on this 3D stage of insanity. Perhaps through my reflection back is what will be a catalyst for what this darkness is truly calling for as it cannot perceive any sense of light if not pierced with its own painful truth on the same stage it was created. My son said “you can smash a piece of glass and it will shatter and break or you can pierce a piece of glass with a pin and it will break on its own”  At some point, it feels the gentle humble nature of so many being suffocated within moments by others less aware needs to shift, I feel warriors pave the way for truth and awareness. It changes the stage where new roles become the main characters and are given the ability to carry the torch to light the way for so many hidden in the corners too shy or too humble to create ripples that extend to waves that transform energy to clear away evil that serves no one yet that evil provides a false sense of comfort and silences truth and persecutes souls for eternity.

 

Charlie - nice to see you here as always Thumbs Up SignThe Sun Emoji

Erica, my dear heart, I feel deeply for you. Trust me, I've been where you are a thousand times, seems like a zillion times. And the darkness seems still so entrenched, still so blinkered, still so unjust. And yes, I totally agree, catalysis is essential, we must have the courage to reflect the mirror, for it's a key way change will happen.

But what I've found through copious experience, is that if I harden and over energise my response, the darkness mutates and spirals into other forms, sucking in those around it. If however my response comes from the deep grace, buried within the pain, then it generally has a much more powerful effect - like a blade point, striking the target, and only the target, with the light of truth. Then trusting that it's had an effect, regrouping internally until the next exchange.

I find it always helps to contemplate 'why did I manifest it?' Maybe it encourages you to step out of the shadows and take a more visible stance. I'm fully supportive. Heart

Much love always

Open HeartPraying Emoji

Open, your graceful wisdom warms my heart. War exists between these two worlds as souls are transcending. It feels though as the light of our beings transcends through 3D the darkness has more room to slither through nocuous areas gaining an infectious momentum. Fear blame projection distortion moves from one to another. Whilst I recognize these patterns, I have spent lifetimes transmuting as shedding layers only to have it all repeat and now with an intellectual insanity like I have not witnessed. Why did this manifest through my love of a child puts it all on another level.... I feel the bond strengthens as now the reflection of truth becomes shed through generations. Protective instincts brings everything to another level as the primal human instinctual response challenges the evolved balance my soul has found through embracing evil, pain, fear, and the dynamic process of absorbing and transmuting into energy that serves all with compassion. I feel deeply the truth if only seen has the power to stand alone to shed light on its own. Ray 4 was a strong pulsating force for eons yet now feels distorted on this 3D stage that obscures. Having witnessed how distorted Ray 2 has twisted an aligned Ray 1 disfigures any loving response. 

 

I have lived this lifetime within the shadows working endlessly to shine source love and as you stated Open stepping out - now is the time. After I read your response, a vision of an octopus came to me as a spirit totem animal. What a truly beautiful wise creature! 

Octopus as a totem animal can indicate:

  • Adaptability
  • Magic and mystery
  • Shapeshifting
  • Highly developed vision
  • Psychic ability
  • Deep emotions
  • Connection between mental and emotional faculties
  • Protecting self using intelligence, slyness, or other means other than brute force

Having an octopus as your spirit animal gives you an inherent ability to protect and defend yourself in the face of all adversities owing to the regenerative capabilities of the animal. You have the power to let things go and bounce back up soon after an unpleasant experience. 

 

I find much comfort in knowing this experience will not define my soul as the pressure ensues. OC feels to be maneuvering and “upping its game” I feel an immense shift to no longer show compassion to evil but to reflect back the truth which is the only force to pierce the distorted heart of the beast without mercy. Only then can it’s own pain be felt. I have no responsibility to cushion the creation. Only  to grow and adapt as the shapeshifiting shaman rises out from within. Transfiguration once again occurs, I feel it through the the many lifetimes of this soul “my” human body has given a voice and face to at this point in the time space continuum of the toroidal force that brings us centered within the source as it simultaneously brings us equally distant from the source. I see behind reality there is a web of life, that is a network of invisible linkages that interconnect things and people in inexplicable ways. For today, I am the octopus. 

 

Hi Open,

Your posts continue to hit home with things going on in my life.  It’s rather scary actually :) My 15 year old daughter recently admitted to her mom and I that she’s been battling depression. Prior to that I’ve been trying to help her deal with her anxiety in a natural way, through herbs, meditation and counseling.   My daughter has been somewhat resistant to the spiritual path, but so far I’ve been able to keep her off meds.  Unfortunately her Mom (We are divorced) wants to start her on Prozac and has scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist.  She’s convinced my daughter that the pill is a magical solution to all her problems.  

I’m fighting an uphill battle to keep her off meds, with our family history of anxiety and depression and her moms single minded focus to put her on meds I’m not sure what to do. 

My daughter is meeting with the psychiatrist tonight and after the parent consultation the other day I’m pretty sure the dr is going to recommend meds.  If I decline my ex has already told me she will take me to court as my daughter has admitted to having thoughts of hurting herself (though we both know she’s not serious about it as she shows no other symptoms).  I know her depression and anxiety are situational as she just started high school and has had difficulty adjusting as she transitioned from a small private school to a large public high school.  My daughter hasn’t embraced the spiritual path and she’s resistant to doing the things that will help her (meditation, excersise, being in nature, diet, etc). As she has been promised an easy fix, she’s asked to go on meds.  I’m afraid if I take this to court and fight this I’m going to lose my daughter in the process.  I’m the only one not stuck in the matrix, mom, step dad, brother and stepsister are all for her going on meds.   On the other hand, knowing what I know spiritually, I feel like a failure if I allow her to start meds. 

Any thoughts or words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. 

Scott

In reply to by Scott Tampa

Hi Scott,

Being a person who has battled depression my whole life from a very early age, I can wholeheartedly empathise with your situation. I reckon it’s even harder when it happens to your own kids. 

I have quite a bit of personal experience I could share with you, both on and off meds, but I won’t get into it right now. Instead I’d like to ask how far you’ve explored the option of psychotherapy/counselling without meds?

Fortunately for me when I was young, meds weren’t such a ‘popular’ option, so I was recommended psychotherapy instead and put on quite a long extensive program of meeting with a therapist once a week for well over a year, and more was needed but unfortunately my therapist quit her job before we were done.

Even so, that time was probably the most beneficial year of my life thus far, because I learned so much about myself and the origin of the difficult emotions I was feeling, and most importantly that there wasn’t anything wrong with me for feeling the way I did, and that it wasn’t my fault. I also learned the art of introspective thinking and exploration which became an invaluable tool on my journey to come. Also, the time after that was the very first time in my life that I touched upon the feeling of sovereignity in my own being. I would later lose it, but I always had the memory of what it felt like, as a beacon of light carrying me forward.

What I see nowadays is that the counselling offered is very short-term and if it doesn’t do the trick, you get meds. But in my experience, getting anywhere with therapy takes a long time and commitment to the process, but it’s well worth it, because you get to know yourself better.

So that’s why I’m wondering how far you’ve explored that option, if it’s been short or long-term?

 I’m thinking maybe if you haven’t explored it yet, it could be an option you might want to discuss with your family as an alternative before medicating your daughter. But remember, it takes time. There’s no quick fix.

Feel free to disregard this if it doesn’t resonate. But I felt I needed to at least share it as a perspective.

Wishing you both well,

Love,

Anastasia 

In reply to by Anastasia

Thank you Anastasia, I have tried to get my daughter into counseling, but she hasn’t clicked with one yet.  We do have an appointment with a counselor that also teaches mindfulness at the end of the month so I’m hopeful my daughter will click with her. 

I was a victim of depression as well so I totally understand where you are coming from. 

Thank you for the kind words and support, they are greatly appreciated. 

Much Love,

Scott

Hi Scott - it's a challenging situation for sure, especially where kids are concerned within the challenges of society. My heart goes out to you. Having been guardian of 3 children I know just how heart rending it can be. Heart

The most important thing I can reflect so as to help, is to remind you that whatever happens with our kids, it's always our own journey of self-realisation that counts. Would you want someone to walk your path for you? I assume no. And neither must we for our children. We can help set boundaries, yes, but as they grow, they'll want to make their own decisions for themselves, just as you want to on your own path. So in any given situation, ask.... what am I being invited to let go of now? How can I soften more into the source and let authentic self come through. Then you will make more aligned expressions within the engagement - and this will meet the soul contract/agreement you have with your daughter, whatever the outcome.

One important thing is that if she's already expressed a desire to accept meds, then that is her choice. Especially if it's backed up by her mother and society. For you (me and everyone else), we have to look at the bigger karmic picture. Our kids have been effected by an Intervention for millions of years, and I know for me, where humanity is concerned, that's been a very bitter pill to swallow - especially since I can clearly recall original humans and how amazing they were in terms of divinity and interconnection - so I had a lot to let go of personally. We all have. The point being, any tightness in this regard is OUR karma, and that's why we manifest the circumstances now.

The only thing you can really do, is find the right expression of soul for you, right now, and let the outcome decide itself.

To give a couple of other pointers...

You said...

I’m afraid if I take this to court and fight this I’m going to lose my daughter in the process.

Work NOT to make any choices based on fear. especially if you're trying to second guess the shape of events in the future - this becomes a great burden. Work to make all choices in truth, whatever the perceived outcome. Things so often shape and shift in ways you could never have predicted when you come from truth.

You also said...

My daughter has been somewhat resistant to the spiritual path

So many kids are. And they certainly don't want to be shown it by their parents. So my advise is not to talk in those terms. Everything is of spirit - everything is 'spiritual'. We just need to explore other wording. So we could inquire how they feel about deep peace and relaxation for exmaple. But the point is to empower them by asking... "what makes you feel really relaxed?" "The last time you felt happy, what were you doing? How did that feel?" You could also inquire as to why she feels depressed - about what? Sometimes even just talking about it can be enough to move them along, and to help them see it's quite usual that kids would feel that way.

All the time it must be about their empowerment - them inquring into their own feelings and gently directing them to explore what makes them feel aligned, and peaceful, and simply 'right' (certainly don't mention the word 'spiritual'!).

And at the same time, working through your own karma to let go. It's only when the karma has been processed that we don't have to recreate the same situations.

I know it's not easy! Sending energy your way.

Much love

Open HeartPraying Emoji

 

In reply to by Open

Hi Open,

Thank you so much for the kind and supportive words.  You provided me with the strength and courage to allow the situation to unfold without being attached to the outcome.  I was able to express my feelings without getting lost in the downward spiral of conflict.  It's a lonely place when you're the only person in the situation not plugged into the Matrix.  At the end of the day I lost the battle, but hopefully the meds will help my daughter overcome her anxiety and depression and live a fuller life.  Your words gave me the peace of mind to allow events to unfold as well as the realization that I'm only a spectator for my daughter, I can't walk the path for her or make decisions for her.  All I can do is shine my light and continue to be my authentic self, providing an example for her of what life can be like.  I'll continue to drop bread crumbs and give her the building blocks to grow into the young woman I know she can be.

Thank you to everyone for commenting and reaching out with your support.  It warms my heart to know I'm not alone and that there are other caring souls out there walking a similar path.

Much Love,

Scott

Dear Scott ,Open and all those tuning in ,

First of all let me say that I also often feel that Open posts exactly the things I am going through .Eerie it is sometimes 😄

As I have shared before ,my brother suffers from a severe form of depression and it's only now ,at 39 that he has shared how he has been depressed and anxious since he was around ten years old . I am about three years older than him and I will confess that in my heart there is a lot of guilt for not picking it up sooner or helping him more. That being said ,I have been on my own journey working to undo the emotional repercussions of being born into a deeply unconscious family ( and world) . After all my exoration ,including all that I shoulda ,woulda  done ,I have come to conclude that the best I can do is hold a very high vibration and be in connection with him . Since there is severe parental emotional dysfunction and mom is the primary caregiver here ,that sometimes also means taking some space and stepping out of family dynamic. Which in 3 D may seem like abandonment to him ,but is purely to make sure I don't lose higher perspective. At one time I felt I would lose him to depression induced psychosis or suicide. In his case though ,the drugs have actually brought him back out if his severe depression . I am aware that he will have to work hard and in challenging psychological circumstances to reach the root of depression and probably plenty of therapy as well as meditative practice is in order. On my part I have deeply explored my grief and helplessness and also wanting to take control . At this point ,I am taking it a day at a time. Being in gentle contact with him and yet not usurping his pain as my own ( making boundaries). I am seeing this as a journey I may be able to help with ,if I am asked ,but definitely not my path. Even with my mom I am very cognizant of boundaries and my own emotional space . Thus far ,this very gentle ,non intervention has helped him . He spoke to me and said he loved me for the first time in a decade two days ago . 

My heart goes out to.you ! IIdont k ow if this helps in your situation at all . I am sure my responses would be much more different if it were my own daughter . Hopefully there is something that may help though. Lots of live to you Scott. And your lovely daughter . 

Megha

In reply to by Megha

Hi Megha,

Thank you for your response.  Your sharing and concern means allot to me.  I share your experience of growing up in an unconscious family, it wasn't an easy experience.  I'm sorry for your Brother's struggles, as someone who has struggled with depression myself, I hope you know your how much your caring and holding a space for him means, even if it's not expressed. 

One of the biggest struggles i have with my kids is not taking on their pain and struggles as my own.  I've always let my kids make their own mistakes and taught them their decisions have consequences and that life isn't fair, but its difficult and painful at times to watch them suffer.    I think one of the biggest mistakes we've made as a society is to teach our kids that every one is a winner, that everyone gets a trophy just for showing up.  Losing builds character, picking yourself off the floor and recovering when you've been beaten down builds character.  Coming out the other side of our pain and struggles builds character.  At the end of the day, coming through our pain and struggles makes us a better person.

I'll get off my soap box now, thanks again for your kind words.

Much Love,

Scott

Hi Megha - such a beautiful sharing. This you said is fundamental to helping people in depression, and epecially our kids...

At this point ,I am taking it a day at a time. Being in gentle contact with him and yet not usurping his pain as my own ( making boundaries)

NOT ursupring their pain and owning it for ourselves! So often what happens is that a parent feels the pain burden themselves, and carries it within themselves, which they then want to fix, leading to all manner of distorted expression that loads the relationship thus making the situation worse.

Can you just hold the space and hear what they have to say?

If someone you're with subconsciously picks up the feeling you're 'trying to fix them', it's already telling them there's something wrong with them. Everyone has their challenges. Let's work to unconditonally hold the space for people and let them walk their own path of realisation. Depression could be exactly what's necessary to break free of old karma and finally realise the light.

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji