Until the soul becomes fully self realised - realising of the One Self - then it will attach in particular circumstances of life and fragment. This causes pain and tightness in the various layers of the bodymind such as physical existential matters; emotional attachment in relationships; or the mental tightness of trying to control an outcome. Society teaches people to surpress and dampen this pain through avoidance of soft comfort, which leads to a lesser life of imprisoned conditioned behaviours.
What we really need to do is feel into the pain, to allow the soul to grow and integrate in it - like developing a muscle. Then the soul learns how to navigate with freedom of expression through life. It knows the boundaries of aligned behaviour and never loses connection to the presence of the One. It leads to an harmonious and enlightened existence.
But first we must confront and dig up the roots of the pain body. What do you attach to? How do you need the various situations in your life to be controlled and go a certain way? Contemplate these deeply, feel into the tightness and pain they create. Realise that constantly holding this pain is far worse than accepting the outcome you fear. Let it go!