Dear Open & to all my friends in the spiritual path,
Firstly, my wholehearted Thanks to Open and everyone on this path for their support and guidance.
I am sure we all have encountered some difficult challenges in life which help us only to evolve and go deeper to find our "authentic true self" , as life only presents with situations so that consciousness can evolve through you. I was just curious how you have handled difficult relationships in the past? The relationships with very closed ones Spouse, Partner) become even more challenging when the other person is not on the same path. Through different situations in life I have attracted my partner in life who does have a good heart but only lives in the mind. He is a guy with numbers ( Engineer & Business Man) and needs evidence to believe in most of the things.Not only that he had a traumatic childhood with a very dysfunctional relationship with his mother, who still abuses him and puts him down . He has never taken time to get in touch with his feelings and tries to run away from them by involving too much at work. He says his relaxation comes only when he works. Not only that but whatever I say or suggest to him, he feels like I am behaving like his mom to the extent that he will take his anger on me saying mean things and putting down.
Through my experience only people who are very disconnected with their own true self can only feel disconnected with everything around them and can have anger and resentment with unresolved issues from childhood. When I sit in deep meditation with this and an action to take a thought comes to me again and again that to wait until you move. ( We are moving to a new place) I am moving close to my job and he will be commuting and be with the family in the weekends until he finds something close by. Here is my challenge I try to stay present and not to react to his remarks. I try to be present and take a few breaths before I even talk, but there are times when I completely loose it. I react and add to his negative energy. Some times with awareness and some times the conditioning takes over. I know that any true relationship is only with your deep inner self and as soon as we start expecting something out of a relationship it crumbles battles of ego which again is a manifestation of small mind. Sometimes when I am in deep meditation words like "compassion "and "unconditional love" also pop up but it has been challenging for me how to be present and compassionate when the other person is being mean to you ( especially when you have to live with them). Any advice or guidance is appreciated as I let my higher guidance to unfold itself for an answer.
Love & Light,