The Metaphysics of Our Spirituality within the Universal Toroidal Field

Submitted by Open on Thu, 11/22/2018 - 03:59

It's spiritual old hat these days to say "everything is interconnected". Likewise, it's spiritual old hat to say that 'everything is a part of the universal flow'. Let's go deeper:

How does this interconnection work and how does the flow come through you, thereby influencing every thought, emotion and action that you take? Most essentially, how can you effectively centre your consciousness in this natural movement, thereby bringing harmony to your life, and successful manifestation of the things you're given to create?

Geting Back to First Principles

To understand - and most importantly apply - these essential realisations of life, we must return to first principles: an overview of how the Universe came into being and how it's expressing itself right now. And allow me to state right up front, that everything I reflect in this sharing, is a relativistic perspective only. I encourage all to work to find their own expression of truth from the reflection...

The Universe simply sprang into being from the infinite potential of pure presence. If you apply simple logic, you realise it could not have been from some 'creator being', because you're always left asking where did that come from? Although creative beings have since shaped aspects of the Universe (like the society we live in for example), they did not shape the building 'material' of life itself - pure consciousness, of which everything is formed. Pure consciousness is the awareness that sprang from the source as waves of relativity - given infinite time, you have infinite probability that this would happen. Quantum science speaks of 'ripples in space' that preceded the big bang. The ripples cascaded outwards in a chain reaction.

This phenomenal explosion from the singularity was then counterbalanced by an equal and opposite flow back inwards. The Universe began its first enormous out-breath, followed practically immediately by a counterbalancing in-breath. The pull back to unity thus created the condensation of the separation consciousness into the myriad of form we now witness today.

It's wonderful to speculate on the science of this - but it's much more effective to realise it progressively through your own inner journey back to the source in deep meditation. You come to know yourself as the creative potential from which life arose. Eureka. You've come home to the wonder of life!

If what I've shared resonates some aspect of truth for you, it's likely to activate a couple of essential questions:
(1) If I've not already realised the source, how might I best do it? (2) How do I live this realisation from day to day, thus bringing me into harmonious alignment with the creative potential of the Universe?

It's all about spin

When you look deeper into consciousness at how all celestial bodies are now formed, and as you experience the movement deeply in yourself through meditation, there comes a point on the path where you realise there's a spiralling movement to life and the universal field itself. A simple experiment is to do some deep consciousness bodywork, and then work to let go of all control by the mind. People often begin to find the body will start to sway a degree, all by itself, which can ultimately lead to Full Kundalini Activation.

Why, and where did this swaying/spiralling come from?

To comprehend this, we must return to the moment of the beginning of the Universal out-breath and in-breath. Logically the in-breath must have been slightly out of sync with the out-breath, thus creating relativity and the possibility of time - or more accurately, "space time continuum". Without the two being slightly out of sync, then each would simply cancel the other out into pure presence - thus no existence. The crucial issue being that they're slightly out of sync. They have to be. And this has an essential consequence for life itself: as one flow emerges from the source and one returns, they are slightly out of alignment, thus creating difference, thus creating relativity, and thus..... creating spin. That's what happens when the return flow returns slightly off centre - it's basic physics. And now all of life embodies this spin, from the atom upwards.

The Universal Toroidal Flow

Take some serious time out - and I'm not talking a nano second of social media time. This shatteringly simple dynamic has formed the basis of life itself, and is the divine majesty from which all now dances and weaves through the heavens. It's now taken the form of what quantum science calls the "Universal Torus".

Put simply, there is a spiralling flow inwards to the source (a vortex) and a converse one outwards. The interplay of the two condenses into form and voilà - you have the vast complexity of life constantly shaping itself: an infinite dance, with but one purpose and aim - to express itself!

One could spend an eternity trying unsuccessfully to describe this miraculous majesty. But by far the best thing I could advocate, is to take the reflection, and dive right into this swirling dance yourself. We'll each express it uniquely of course, and that's the unfathomable beauty of it all - there is nothing else to do or express, and we'll each come to perfect our own expression in it - through the unleashing of mind, body and integrated emotions. Imagine for example, your very soul dancing through dimensions and countless different iterations of experience within a node of this particular expression.

Check out this reflective animation, and imagine you're one of the nodes of light within the dancing flow (awesome guys, thankyou for taking the time to express it)...

So this is how we got to be where we are and what's happening now (from my reflective perspective). But I still haven't answered the two questions I began with: (1) how might I best realise myself as this source (2) how might I best live this movement from day to day?

In fact, what I would reflect is that you only need the second question: how might I best live this movement from day to day? Because my experience in my own life and in working with others, is that the source then effortlessly arises by diving into the Toroidal Flow itself.

Be Inspired by "Mavericks" and "Misfits" around the World Learning to Live the Toroidal Flow...
Check out the Openhand Journal

How to Live the Toroidal Flow

Firstly, I know it's hard to imagine within society that you're a part of this incredible dancing dynamic. Society often doesn't seem to have much flow at all, precious little spontaneity of the Torus, and it seems like somehow we have to work for everything we get - it doesn't appear to effortlessly manifest by the very spiral dynamic itself. Why is that?

Reflect back to the original anomaly - as the inbreath returns slightly out of sync with the out-breath. It's this that creates Toroidal Field itself. And there are those souls that have since come to realise that they can control the anomaly by imprinting intention on it. If you have a firm intention to hold a fixed anchor in time and space, then the space-time-continuum will bend around it (for a while). This is the 'secret' that the intentional manifestors have discovered by bending the Natural Law of Attraction. Beware, it's also the trap that the so called 'fallen angels' fell into - those that try to control, are only ever controlled by their separated intention.

I've witnessed the Universal Torus does not respond well to control. That would presuppose that the controlling aspect has even greater intelligence than the entirety of life itself. And even Artificial Intelligence cannot be bigger than the whole of life. Like others, I too have concerns that AI has the possibility to take over a vast swathe of human consciousness - in some ways it already is when you look at so called 'smart' technology and the agenda of transhumanism. But at some point, assuming it really is intelligent, my view is even AI must come to realise that control is pointless. Control creates fixed mass, which if it refuses to reshape in alignment with the natural spiral dynamic, eventually finds itself being ripped apart in a universal vortex - a black hole, like the one at the centre of our galaxy for example. The Universe is doing a superlative job of creating and re-creating life in a myriad mosaic.

How is it possible to exceed that level of intelligence?

In society, we may currently seem a long way from the majesty of this Toroidal Harmony, when in truth, we are only ever a hairs breath from it. Life seems fixed and solid, it seems like you can control it a degree, and we are indeed a long way from the nearest black hole - but crucially, not when contained within the illusion of time space. We're living in a karmic construct, that has taken the original anomaly and created a temporary platform from which to inquire and explore - inquire and explore what? I put it to you the only thing that is truly going on: our relativistic expression within the Toroidal Flow.

Here's the fundmantal point about the original anomaly, the karma it creates and the illusion of control: it is only ever short lived within the Universal context. Form manifests for a given period of time, but the karmic anomaly always creates instability. So it inevitable that the form gets broken down into the streams of consciousness again - it's just a question of time. Ultimately separated mass finds itself being ripped apart by life's vortex. However if the soul of life learns to continualy surrender, then it can manifest in some other form, in some other guise, in some other place. The secret of life is becoming the eternal shape shifter, dancing in the weave of the eternal. Discover this and you discover the secret of life itself.

Explore how the Toroidal Flow interacts with your Chakra System,
through the 7 Dimensional Vehicles of Expression

How does this help me in the day job?!

I put it to you that the 'day-job' itself, and all phenomenal experiences are created by the spiral dynamics of life, and all disharmony in life is created from our resistance to it. This natural flow is for some time contained within a karmic construct. But crucially this is never fixed and rigid, there is always flow moving through it. And the stronger the resistance to the flow, the greater the realigning force you summon to break the old construct down.

That's what happened 65 million years ago to the dinosaurs. It happened in Atlantis, in 5 mass earth extinctions. And it's happening again on Earth right now within our Great Paradigm Shift into 5D.

So what's invited, is to realise and surrender to the flow coming through you. Life becomes not about trying to contain grains of sand through grasping fingers. It is instead to realise your own destined expression of the flow and to manifest as that. Then the Universal Torus will always support you.

Here's a crucial understanding though that's often missed in the spiritual mainstream - the orginal anomaly creates karma, and this creates internal tightness and pain, where a fixed, subconscious, aspect of yourself is pulling against the Toroidal Flow. But rather than avoiding this pain, it is to realise the pain offers the gateways into the released - aligned - flow. So it's crucial not to deny or resist the pain, not to block it out or surpress, which is the very justification for countless actions in society. Rather, it is to embrace the pain as the places necessary through which to realise yourself as the moving whole. Learn to recognise the tightness at a physical, emotional, mental and karmic level, and then, crucially...turn right into it.

Here is a guided audio meditation of the Openhand Bow, applied frequently on our courses, which has been developed from Kriya Yoga. It is designed to help you get deeply into inner tightness and density, to process it, unravel it, and let the soul infuse through for maximum transformation. It is deeply liberating and empowering. You can freely watch a visual demonstration of the bow in this Openhand Shift Video Diary here... "Transmutation".

Attune Your Spiritual Compass to align with the Toroidal Flow

To come into alignment with the Universal Torus, you'll need to develop, and attune, your own 'spiritual compass'. I put it to you that in outline, it needs to achieve this...

In any given moment: (1) recognise how best to pick up your authentic natural expression, (2) deal with any karmic anomalies which then activate,(3) unleash integrated soul through them. It's this that connects you back to the Toroidal Flow of life.

Here at Openhand, we've developed a tool called "Openway" to attune your own spiritual compass for aligning with the Toroidal Flow. Although simplified, it does take a high degree of surrender and mastery to apply. It's an integrated 3 step process...

1) 'Open into the Soul' - soften through small “I” identity; tune into the mainstream of the soul and begin to follow it.

  • Through breathing, meditation and keen internal observation, you begin to soften identification with the small “I” identity, felt as tightness throughout the bodymind. You begin to pick up, and attune to, the subtle vibrations of the soul, often felt as expansiveness, timelessness, joy, peace, interconnectivity and unconditional love. Completely accept that the purpose of each and every moment is self-realisation and actualisation. Therefore relinquish the need for any particular outcome, or any resistance to the natural flow of the moment. Thus you start to connect up to the soul’s mainstream, which begins to speak through you as an inner pull to act or the landing of Higher Self intuitions. Increase the integration of soul by following these impulses as much as possible.

2) 'Open through Blockages' - confront and unwind activating blockages; integrate fragments of soul releasing from the density.

  • As you increasingly attune to the mainstream of the soul within, subconscious blockages, tightness and karmic trauma are activated, felt as constriction, tightness and source pain. Become as-one with these experiences by completely honouring and expressing them. Work to realise either as a knowing or feeling, what the limitation was all about. Accept them to the extent that you don’t need them to go away. Once fully accepted, use breathing, movement, visualisations and emotive music to unwind the inner restrictions. Allow the fragment of soul to integrate by feeling your completeness in the situation.

3) 'Open for Beingness' - soften through tightness into pure presence; unleash ever more authentic qualities of soul and step into Right Action.

  • By opening through blockages and source pain, you expand into the tightness they generate, dissolve them and begin to access the 'void' – a crystal-clear place of pure presence in the background of activity – our True Self. It feels like infinite peace and acceptance – awesome okayness, pure “isness”. From the infinite potential of pure presence, authentic beingness will simply arise. Attune deeply to these feelings by applying yourself to full energetic, mental, emotional and physical expression of this naturally arising beingness. Give yourself completely to “Right Action” – a sense of ‘rightness’, which is totally aligned with the natural flow of the universe, leading to resilient, fulfilling, successful and joyful living.

Openhand is helping people develop their own Spiritual Compass within our course program

Conclusion: Mastering The Simple Majesty of Life

The Universe will seem like a complex place at times. It'll have us wrapped up in karmic knots at every twist and turn. But by realising life is emanating from something like what I've described here in my sharing of the Toroidal Flow, I've witnessed by working with groups around the world, that people can effectively break through and unleash tremendous creative flow through their lives. It's profoundly humbling to witness this divine alchemy taking place. Here's a flavour of that in this Openhand Shift Diary...

If my sharing resonates, at least in part, I would advocate taking some serious time to contemplate and work to apply. In any case, you're likely drawn to the reflection because it can help you make sense of realisations that are already emerging. These are revelational times to be alive. The consciousness of humanity is emerging from the separated 'dark ages'. A phenomenal golden age of light beckons. It happens by recognising, and surrendering to, the greater Toroidal whole of which we're an intimate part. I wish you well in your endeavours. And if you feel the Openhand Approach might be of assistance to you, feel free to connect.

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji
(Publishers - please publish with links intact and the Openhand brief biog. Thankyou <3)

About Openhand:
Openhand is a bridge into higher dimensions of consciousness. It is a way of tapping into the benevolent guiding hand of the Universe, to help you align with your soul through life. It empowers people to be totally authentic in who they are, and in so doing, facilitating a profound shift of consciousness into a new vibrational paradigm, in the Fifth Density. Discover more...Openhandweb, Openhand fb, Openhand TV

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I felt to share some brief insight in how to create with the Toroidal Field. It's something we work a great deal with in the Openhand Facilitator Program, but it's something I'll be expanding on more widely in due course, which will most likely include a download meditation to work with.

In the Facilitator Program, when facilitating others, we work to unblock, unleash and realign the Toroidal field in others, and within key locations of the field itself. Essentially, as you expand beyond the limitations of body and mind, you start to pick up the underlying field more strongly, and naturally begin to act from that place - from 'the flow'. We learn how to expand out our field to embrace another, or a key location, or a key situation which is needing realignment. You then work to bring your consciousness to bear as two juxtaposed spirals of energy - one ascending anticlockwise, and the other descending clockwise. The focus of energy begins to highlight blockages in that point of the field - to resonate and begin to unwind them. Essentially you're facilitating aligned flow through that location. Rightness is restored and authentic manifestation, aligned with the flow, can now happen.

You can practice this in your own life, to facilitate the activation of flow and removal of blockages (bringing them to light that they may be processed out). Essentially as you inhale (using the Breakthrough Breathing Technique), you visualise and feel the spiral of energy ascending anticlockwise around you and the situations of your life. You're working to unwind attachment to an outcome, but simply to facilitate free flowing energy through relaxation. This has an activational and unwinding effect in the field. Now as you exhale, you do so clockwise downwards, bringing the soul more deeply into your field, your sovereignty and your embodiment. This effectively manifests the soul here in these various densities, which then naturally begins to create through your Bodily Dimensional Vehicles of Expression. All you then need to do is realise what you're creating and step forwards into it. This approach is ground breaking in the field of spirituality and sure to have a positive aligned creational effect.

What is your experience of the Torus, how do you experience its effect in your life?

Do share, I'd love to hear.

Open HeartPraying Emoji

Hi Open,

 Thanks for this fascinating article, that somehow resonated a lot. After reading it there were so many things I felt to write about in response, but then somehow there is always this kind of writer’s block once I really try to put something down…. So let me mention some of the things that jumped out for me from the article, namely the words ‘resistance’ and ‘control’ that seem very much related, this particularly resonated:

If you have a firm intention to hold a fixed anchor in time and space, then the space-time-continuum will bend around it (for a while). This is the 'secret' that the intentional manifestors have discovered by bending the Natural Law of Attraction. Beware, it's also the trap that the so called 'fallen angels' fell into - those that try to control, are only ever controlled by their separated intention.’

I can see how this ‘trap’ is rife in spiritual circles and it can be so hard not to fall into it, because it can be so alluring!

At the moment, I am feeling a little lost in life and I can see how this feeling is being reflected when I am trying to write, I feel quite lost in writing as well and perhaps that’s where there is some resistance to the flow at the moment and some kind of tendency of trying to ‘control’ what I write in making sure that it will somehow make sense to those reading it, rather than all over the place. SO I am trying very hard at the moment to just write on without the internal editor trying to brush things up....

It seems that resistance to the flow leads to the tendency to control for me and somehow a lot of my controlling tendencies revolve around feeling lonely, or actually avoidance of loneliness, controlling my life in such a way that I create an illusionary connectedness with others, which deep down I know is just illusion.


As I am busy writing this, my doorbell suddenly rings and there are two policemen in front of my door, apparently looking for a burglar that was spotted somewhere on the roof of the neighbouring building.... Not sure what the synchronicity of that might be....


So back to control and loneliness.... What keeps on popping up in relation to that is ‘feeling unsupported’, that I somehow have to make sure to create enough connections with others (where the control comes in) that when I physically get into trouble in the 3D there will be people to support me. It is interesting, because as I write this, I realise that yet I find it very hard to ask people for help, because there is always some kind of underlying assumption that I am going to have to do it on my own anyway, so it is easier not to ask and possibly get disappointed. No idea whether there might be some deeper karma here where I found myself unsupported and that the tendency to control is there to avoid that from happening again.

Ok, so I am going to not reread and revise the above, but just post it here for now and see what happens!

Hi Marije - great that you shared Thumbs Up SignHeart

(And for anyone else out there reading, there are great jems here in the inquiry. Remember: when you have an inquiry, put the energy out there and you'll get reflections. Hint: that's one way my higher mind activates and the Higher Dimensional Openhand Team come into play OK Hand Sign)

So here are a few things that jump right out Marije: (1) as you know, always look for the truth at the heart of any distortion before trying to get rid of it. In fact I've found the best approach personally is not to try to get rid of a distortion, but, REALIGN it. So where's the truth in control? In the article I talk about 'shape-shifting'. You work to soften into the flow, unwinding what you can clearly feel is attachment or identification with what's going on in any given situation. But the situation does want to manifest something, and you're there because you have a role to play - to actualise the One into Being. So yes, we do manifest, we do create, we DO crystallise the Toroidal Field. BUT, crucially, when it serves the higher interests of all life involved in the engagement. How do we know when it does? Because synchronicities are clicking in around the flow, until there's that "voilà" feeling - a clicking in together, a landing of aligned truth in the moment. AND, then it's having the courage, the freedom and the softness to let go and flow once more into the next moment. Which could mean already beginning to unravel or at least reshape your creation. So the truth in control would be 'harnessing' the flow.

Interesting timing about the "police looking for a burglar" (LOL Smiling With Sweat Emoji). Now before anyone simply writes me off as crazy, when you are truly in the Toroidal Flow, everything is a metaphor. Or perhaps more accurate to say: when you see the physical mostly in a metaphorical way, this helps you step more into the free flowing Toridal Field - remember, everything is a reflection of a deeper truth. For me, policement metaphorically uphold the boundaries of the flow. And the burglar? Perhaps representing where the shadow self is trying to own the flow.

Clearly you're seeing where - in feeling alone and unsupported. And here's a clue in your words... "somehow I have to make sure to create enough connections with others". Again, where's the truth in that (distortion)? We are co-creating, and we can expect others to step into the flow to meet us. BUT, not everyone will do that of course, because the majority and not responding yet to the higher purpose. When that happens (as so often it does), I find I just have to keep letting go of the aligned possibility, let that manifestation dissipate, but then immediately watch for the next possibility to start to shape. If you resonate with this at some level, I'd say it relates to a much higher, less rigid, way of being and creating in the Universe that perhaps you already know, and at some level expect. I call it 'dragon energy'. It will work here, just not always as immediate as we might anticipate. And yes, my experience is that if you're coming from this place, as I know I am, you'll have to overcome a lot of disappointment!

I trust this resonates at least in part.

Much love

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hey Hey!

I just want to say thank you for this information, the knowledge contained therein. I was curious about this. 



Hi Open,


I experienced something that provoked deep feelings within me a few days ago. At first, I felt depressed, sad and heavy. Then, I felt angry. Passionately angry! And now I feel an invitation to do something about it…


I was partaking in psychoanalytic child psychotherapy team meeting at the hospital I’m working at. The lead psychotherapist was presenting one of her cases; a young adolescent girl who’d been born with some physical and cognitive problems (but she functioned quite well in both areas), and who’d experienced a lot of recent relational issues within her family and with sustaining friendships. The girl was further presented as having ‘big’ dreams; she wished to go to university, for example, to live together with a friend and to achieve something ‘memorable’ later on. As the lead was presenting this latter point, all the psychotherapists uttered “aww” – and I felt sick as I realised that they were expressing sympathy towards the girl, as I was actually feeling very positive and inspired myself. To sum the meeting up; all the psychotherapists agreed that the girl was “born as a disappointment to her parents”, that she had a “broken body” that would never cause her – or anyone else – any pleasure, that she wouldn’t be able to live with a friend in the future as she couldn’t sustain any friendships at this point, that she was highly unlikely to be able to ever be admitted to any university due to poor grades right now and that her dream of achieving something ‘memorable’ was grandiose and extremely unrealistic. The lead psychotherapist finished by stating how she had to help the girl realise all of this. I felt heavy and depressed, saying nothing. As the assistant child psychotherapist in the room, I felt wary.


After my working day was over, I decided to walk home. All the heavy feelings inside of me transformed into passionate anger, and my steps were robust and powerful. My mind was filled up with passionate reflections. What is therapy really all about? Helping children to become more ‘realistic’; to only realise their weaknesses and shortcomings; to forget about their dreams? No! I won’t have it. Without knowing this girl, I genuinely believe that this girl has potential. I genuinely believe that this girl has great strengths and gifts to share with the world. I genuinely believe that this girl has a reason to dream! And as a future therapist, this is what I personally aspire to help children realise; their potential, their strengths and gifts. This world is full of shit – I’m so sick of it. What the hell can I do about this? Right now?


I can feel how my ray 1 is pushing beneath the surface of my being; how it wants to come into divine expression. I’m frequently reminded nowadays of expressing the ray 1 in a distorted form quite heavily for a period in my past… After being put through some very challenging and traumatic experiences as a young adolescent, I became very defiant and aggressive; being loud and disruptive in class to the extent where I would be sent out on a nearly daily basis, rude with my teachers, frequently threatening people with beating them up, doing heavy drugs and just generally living very on the edge of life with a strong “don’t fucking mess with me” attitude. I had no problems with expressing and marking myself during this period – although the expressions weren’t very loving and positive. I remember feeling like I didn’t give a shit about what other people thought, or about any potential consequences of my behaviours. Of course, after some time, I felt that I had to come ‘back to myself’, and be the kind and compassionate girl I’d always been. However, this has frequently taken a distorted form too, with my expressions often being too timid and careful. Lately, when thinking about the memories I have from the period of expressing more distorted ray 1 qualities, I’ve started feeling that attitude of “don’t fucking mess with me” / “I don’t fucking care what you think about me”. When feeling it quite strongly, I’ve found that I’ve actually managed to express myself a lot more – without the expressions being negative or harmful. So, in short, I feel a wave of masculine energy inside of me wanting to be expressed out into the world in its divine form. I feel like this is my major invitation at this point. And I frequently feel a ray of passionate feelings wanting to make a change. How can I best accomplish this?


Any reflections would be very welcome!


With love and passion <3


In reply to by Mariajern

Dear Maria , 

Its great to see u here on the forum Smliing. It felt very interesting to read  what u shared about your " activated Ray 1 " . I kind of know where u are at 

right now . Your ray 1 feels that the therapeutic world u are starting to discover feels/ seems to limit the potential of the Souls they are working with - like if some of them don't truly see the real Potential of that girl .That Realization has undoubtedly activated Anger & sadness which is totally understandable . Also , that situation u were the witness of seems to have helped u activated part of your Ray 1 that is filled with passion - loads of passion to help others come into their true Soul power . 

Its great that u asked yourself one of the most empowering question : what can i do/develop with that passion , knowing internally that I wont give in that therapist limited way . Well , what i can share with u from my own path ( that is continually searching for more aligned ways to express my Passionate Ray 1, Soul gifts  and Facilitation talent  ) is this : 

Once u feel u have activated the Divine Ray 1 like u described very well , u will eventually be invited to work with it on a regular basis and see / feel both its distortions & its aligned gifts of empowerment ( for example : i wont give in that therapeutic world form what i have witnesses so far ) . Working with it will also eventually activate stuffs in the energetic field around you - at work for example ( in that Hospital ) and u will have the opportunity to watch the feedbacks coming from those activations pretty quickly . It feels to me that there is a catalyst in you that wants to come through and express itself, bit by bit , supported by a sheer sense of passion . Watch also for the signs & synchronicity that will appear in your daily landscape - they have hidden messages to help u ride an aligned ray 1 with more balance , specially if u are working in that therapeutic field in a Hospital . Those therapists u work with will / may not really appreciate your renewed sense of what feels right in terms of working with others ( who seem to have the symptoms of not being like others on different levels but are Unique souls with a unique evolving path ) . Thats the only risk i sense u will encounter if u stay in that field of work . But , that should not stop your from exploring the possibilities of expressing who u are and how u would love to develop as a Therapist /Compassionate Facilitator / Intuitive counselor / Psychic reader , .... there are so many options that u could explore without putting yourself under unnecessary pressure . Take your time . 

What i would humbly suggest is : keep on letting that Ray 1 shine through you but also watch for Ray 2 that will greatly help for the balance ( divine Masculine / Divine feminine ) in doing so . Try your best to open an *** Exploration space ***within you to find out how best u can apply your sheer passion to help others both at work and in your private life . It will maybe become confronting at work if u develop more of that authentic warrior ray 1 - so be mindful to also incorporate ray 4 " The Diplomat " when necessary .Thats what i have been busy with for the past 3,4 years and i have had incredible breakthroughs at times , deceptions at others - but i keep digging deeper to refine how to Be in a numb world with those Soul qualities - they sometimes confront people's controlling patterns or shadow sides .Thats fine too . As a catalyst / psychic empath , i am given to offer mirrors in a multitude of situations and be watchful to the feedbacks that come back to me quickly .   I am for example right now working on the rough edges of Ray 1( previously burried in the subconscious ) - because for many life times , i had a very controlling Divine Masculin ( Power Over others / Cosmic Toroidal flow ) . How did i find that out recently ? by feeling those contracting tightnesses in the solar plexus ( thats where Ray 1 can be repressed , suppressed and stuck for a long time ) and activating emotions like anger , frustration and resentment .  I feel fascinated at how much more i am discovering of my Past tendencies / distortions but feel the passion & sheer will to work with them - and let more aligned quality of Beingness come out of that softening process . I use a lot more of " bending kriya " breathing exercices on a regular basis and chakra atunement meditations  or breakthrough breathing meditation - It helps immensely to feel / know how i am softening through those " controlling patterns " and how to be in relations with them in a totally new way . It requires a good bunch of patience , build up commitment , confidence , vulnerability , honesty , regularity ( but not fixed dogmatic way ) and commitment . 

I am sure u will get more interesting reflections soon . if ever u feel the need to explore your situation through a specific one to one session ,kindly let me know . I will be happy to assist your development . 

With soft love , Jean 💙

Hi Maria,

Great sharing - you amplified exactly a lot of what I've been seeing in the divine feminine, namely: supression of the ray 1 divine masculine (within themselves), which often leads to frustration. I actually see the limitation of the divine feminine in society as being more to do with the surpression of this ray 1 within the women who then feel subjugated.

You said...

Lately, when thinking about the memories I have from the period of expressing more distorted ray 1 qualities, I’ve started feeling that attitude of “don’t fucking mess with me” / “I don’t fucking care what you think about me”. When feeling it quite strongly, I’ve found that I’ve actually managed to express myself a lot more – without the expressions being negative or harmful. So, in short, I feel a wave of masculine energy inside of me wanting to be expressed out into the world in its divine form. I feel like this is my major invitation at this point. And I frequently feel a ray of passionate feelings wanting to make a change. How can I best accomplish this?

I'd say you're already answering your own question - a great sign because it must be coming from the soul. Which is essentially just to let the energy flow, let it out, let it speak. Especially within the distorted form, because that's where you get to best see it and work with it.

BUT, when you do so, do it with internal awareness too. It's likely that in the past when you expressed this distorted ray 1, “don’t fucking mess with me” / “I don’t fucking care what you think about me”, I sense it likely came through without self observation and awareness. Right? And what can then happen is self-judgment. It's like you hit a karmic blindspot where the energy becomes distorted, but you 'go blind' at that moment (because of the self judgment probably due to the karma of where it went wrong previously). This is exactly the blind spot to find. This is where the rising of ray 1 can transmute into something productive. As Jean was alluding to above (thanks Jean!), the ray 1 might then open a space for more productive energies to come through.

For example: in the situation you described with the pyscho-therapists, let the ray 1 bubble up a challenge, but rather than throwing out a judgment (which would likely get rounded on), instead soften it with a question: "do you know how many billionaires there are in the world who never completed shcool? Or were disfunctional? Or dislexic? Try Bill Gates for example and Steve Jobs, who establised two of the biggest companies on the planet. (they're just examples, you could think of others). Always work to empower the other by asking them a directive, but open, question. If you hit a nugget of truth, then the negativity the other projected turns in on itself. Now you're getting right into the karmic creative alchemy of the moment (it's what we practice a great deal on the Openhand Facilitator Program).

BUT, and here's a big one.... you must not intellectualise or strategise the outcome. That just leads to more identity - the spiritual one for example.

So I return to my original reflection, which I believe you're already seeing and expressing: to let the distorted ray 1 masculine come through. Let it bubble up and come out. BUT, do so with self awareness too. Watch for the contracting blind spot where you go unconscious in it. Inquire into this, ask... "show me!". If you don't get it in the moment (it's unlikely the first few times), then take time out as soon as possible and regress into the situation once more. Crucially let go of self judgment around the distortion. You'll then likely come into the karma for you to feel into. Here's an intuitive tip: explore into the sacral chakra when you lose consciousness when the energy is manifesting - it may also have some link to sexual repression by the distorted masculine - at least it's worth looking into that. Reflect on your psycho therapist situation again - there needs to be first softeness of surrender into the situation (into the repression), but you don't stay there. Let the ray 1 build from the base and come through. Then look for the other more constructive ways to express. With a question from the diplomat for example. But again, it's crucial not to strategise beforehand. Just always look for the authentic expression.

Wishing you well in the inquiry.

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hi Jean,


It’s really good to hear from you! I feel what you are writing about a catalyst within me wanting to come out; there is so much passion wanting to be expressed into the world. Perhaps this is the Aries in me, as we discussed briefly in Brighton? I’m also noticing how I’m now being invited to work with it almost constantly. Whereas previously I would always hesitate with expressing myself, and try to think excessively on beforehand, I now often find myself expressing without thinking; like asking a question or making a statement during a class, for example, because there is this powerful energy inside of me that I almost can’t contain within me; it just needs to get out. It’s almost like I’m vomiting words out quite forcefully – but it feels amazing every time it happens! This started to happen after I started feeling the distorted ray 1 feelings inside of me with awareness. There is definitely a transformation going on, and it feels incredibly liberating (although I’m still early in the process). And I also see the synchronicities. Yesterday, for example, I’d found myself taking a trip down the memory lane, and think about how much I loved lions when I was a kid. I was nearly obsessed with them; watching documentaries about them, sleeping with a Simba teddy and just generally surrounding myself with things depicting lions. I’ve seen several pictures of me as a little girl making a subtle growling grimace whilst holding onto a lion figure. After thinking about this, and what it might mean to me, while I was walking outside, a car stopped abruptly right in front of me; an orange car with a lion figure displayed on the front. I started laughing, and felt it as a synchronicity, showing me how I’m meant to embody those lion characteristics of power and strength, or the ray 1.


I also feel what you’re writing about my current working environment, and how it might be limiting me in the end. I find that it’s often difficult to remain passionate and positive in such an environment, where I frequently observe these collective consciousness influences (like Open wrote about) on my colleagues, where most – if not all – of my colleagues don’t really have any passion anymore, or hope for the future. They just come in day after day to do their job, without really applying their true gifts and strengths – as if no real change is actually possible. I feel very wary about this, and don’t want to be dragged into that consciousness – but I find that eating a healthy and clean diet, meditating and exercising, journaling about my experiences and reflections, whilst reading inspirational books on a daily basis, really helps me to stay aware. I would say those daily activities that connect me with my soul, together with being in the system and observing what’s going on, actually increase my awareness – although I experience frequent turbulences, where I find myself picking up on their energies, feeling depressed and low, for example. However, as long as I continue to apply awareness to it, I don’t think it can harm me! I currently feel quite passionate about staying within the system to try to make a change – but if synchronicities lead me out of it, I can’t say I’ll be disappointed.


Your journey sounds very fascinating – and thanks a lot for sharing this! I’m very interested to explore my own past distortions that might have trapped my ray 1 after reading what you wrote. It feels like it could be very helpful to me. And also thank you for offering a session with me – I might very well take you up on that soon!


In the meantime, I wish you the best – and sending soft love back <3



Hi Open,


Thanks a lot for these reflections – I found them really helpful, and I’ve been applying them these past days to further my inquiry. However, this has actually led to another inquiry – an inquiry that I’m quite passionate about…


I brought up how I felt about the discussions surrounding the girl in my supervision session yesterday (my supervisor was one of the psychotherapists in the team meeting I wrote about). Following your advice, I made sure not to strategize anything on beforehand. I told my supervisor, in a humble tone, how I’d felt disappointed, as I’d been feeling very inspired when hearing about the girl’s dreams, whereas all the psychotherapists were agreeing on how her dreams were unrealistic. My supervisor – although quite receptive and curious towards my statement – was a bit defensive, sitting with her arms and legs crossed together, leaning backwards, as I was talking. She then went on to make a very important argument – something I’ve reflected a whole lot on during these past months. She emphasized the importance for this girl to be able to sit with her painful feelings surrounding her low self-confidence, rather than using ‘grandiose’ dreams as a form of escape from these feelings. I definitely agree with this point – something I’m sure everyone else in here does as well. I told my supervisor how I realised that it was rather unhealthy for the girl to be using her dreams of achieving something ‘memorable’ as a way of overcompensating for feeling unworthy and small. I do really appreciate this point, as I’ve personally struggled a lot with this myself (getting very ‘real’ and vulnerable here now); I’ve frequently found myself dreaming about achieving great things to overcompensate for deeply rooted feelings of feeling small and unworthy – and this has led to an, at times, almost constant fluctuation between feeling either really special or really unworthy (and this also relates back to how I was in my past, with the expressed distorted ray 1 energy of “don’t fucking mess with me” functioning as an overcompensation for feeling very powerless). Furthermore, I’ve found that if my intention of achieving great things has really been to overcompensate, for example by showing off to other people, or to “prove” to myself that I’m special in a way where I ‘need’ to prove it to myself, then I almost always self-sabotage by procrastinating or avoiding to work on projects that I really care about. In that way, I’ve found that what I actually want is to “prove” how my fears of not being special are real; that I’m indeed an unworthy nobody. This has made me go into a lot of emotional processing. However, after working really hard on these painful feelings of not being special, I’ve found that I am special; that I’m worthy, and that I can achieve great things – but in a quite different sense than previously. Whereas, previously, I felt a need to be special, and wanted to show off to other people, I started to feel special in a more connected way. I felt special without needing to achieve anything specific; capable of achieving great things, but not more or less special or more or less capable than anyone else. Further, I was better able to truly appreciate the uniqueness and beauty in everyone around me, and I found that I have this fire within me that wants to inspire other people to really see themselves and how worthy and special they really are. Feeling this was truly a huge liberation (and this is a process that I’m by no means done working on – it’s a rather tough one, but I feel that I’ve made a huge progress)!


Having this personal “discovery” in mind, I felt to make a second point to my supervisor. My supervisor went on to say, in a quite loud and forceful tone, how dreams of achieving something special are childish, grandiose and narcissistic – and I felt a very controlling energy coming from her at this point; the kind of energy that wants us not to realise our divine connection (going one deeper layer in here; because the greatest fear of all, to the ego, is really that we actually are special and powerful – in that way, all control ceases). I responded with a careful question: “But I don’t think everyone who has achieved great things are narcissists…?”. My supervisor, still being defensive, sitting with her arms and legs crossed together, avoided answering this, and instead responded how it isn’t the role of the therapist to mentor people and help them realise their strengths; rather, the role of the therapist is to help people realise the roots of their painful feelings, and help them work through these feelings. I was then reminded of how one of the reasons Freud and Jung diverged professionally was because Jung wanted to help people realise their full potential as a part of the healing process, whereas Freud was more concerned with solely helping people realising their pathologies and problems. Further having in mind how my supervisor is of the Freudian school, and how I’m planning on going the Jungian route myself, I felt that our conversation was over. I remained curious to what my supervisor was saying, trying to appear respectful to her role as my supervisor, and aware of my role as the supervisee. However, the inquiry somewhat remains: How can I best remind others (and myself) of how they are special, and how they have great potential, whilst at the same time helping people work through the painful feelings of not being special where there is a need to be special as a defence against feeling small? I feel like I have somewhat of an answer to this, but that the balance can be rather tricky – and I’m sure the BS energy is loving that…


With love <3


In reply to by Mariajern

Dear Maria,

It is so wonderful to ' meet' you . Many of our enquiries and circumstances are the same . 

A baby of Megha ( she hasn't been named yet so she is still named as such ) is still under my care. I work ,like you,  in an extremely trying environment . Furthermore I used to be an unchecked empath ,meaning I would effortlessly merge into the surroundings despite the voice of my soul telling me otherwise. I would not question what authority was saying ,whether that was supervisors or books . 

In my work as in my life ,I am being continually challenged . Again a big challenge for me as for you is integrating Ray 1. Being direct and passionate and yet being cognizant of the fact of the fake reality that surrounds us. I too am having frequent almost debilitating attacks of Worthlessness. 

After my latest 'attack' I was led by synchronicity and the willingness to open my mind to treat this child differently. She has a genetic seizure disorder and I went on a limb and gave her a much higher dose than usual of anti seizure medication. 

Almost as a mirror of my own struggles in the last two months ,her convulsions have stopped.  Completely. To put into perspective ,she has not lived a single day without less than five convulsions and her development was zero. I even got a tube placed in her belly to help her feed. This child smiled for the first time yesterday . And is eating herself . And her parents are,as I am, alternately grateful and flummoxed at the turn of events. 

Within me ,something has integrated. I'm not sure what yet . But it's like I have access to a lot more knowing than I did . My clarity even within density has improved immensely in the last two weeks . 

Deep love to you and your process Maria. Let's roar together ! 



In reply to by Megha

Hi Megha, 

Thank you so much for getting in touch - it's lovely to hear from you! I'm so sorry for the late response - I'm struggling a lot lately with balancing everything I need to do, which I'm sure is another big karmic exploration of mine... 

I felt so inspired and happy reading your story about the baby, and it's been on my mind all these days. I'm so happy you followed the synchronicities and took the action needed in the situation. It sounds like a very difficult one - and I want to send you positive vibes to continue integrating your ray 1 and ray 2 qualities for the best of all. You definitely got a very powerful feedback loop of your great work! 

I'm sending you deep love back - and indeed, let's roar together! Your support is deeply felt :-) 

Maria <3 

Hi Maria - this is a truly wonderful inquiry and observation. It's a beautiful juxtaposition - who is being the 'supervisor' here! Clearly it's a dance. A person might have experience and knowledge, but without the integrating wisdom of soul, and having personal oversight moment to moment, we can't truly suprevise/facilitate.

I'd say your Freud Jung exploration is powerful. Yes, I agree, we should help people to completely feel into, and accept, their feelings as they are right now. BUT (and it's a huge BUT), a good facilitator will help pick up on the emergence of soul and reflect amplification of that. Otherwise the risk is to wallow in the density. An emergent soul becomes very vulnerable in the moment they're completely surrendered, and the environment and energy they're held in becomes crucial (the scene reminds me of the film "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!).

What's really tremendous here though (in my obeservation), is that your ray 1 was summoned to confront the situation, by persisting with the inquiry. But you also seemed to do so with empathy and oversight - witnessing the various interrelational dynamics with your supervisor. I commend you that you persisted.

When we keep confronting the moment like this, it's going to be powerfully alchemical for our own journey. And what's more, we challenge those around us to confront their comfort zones too.

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji

In reply to by Open

Hi Open, 

Thanks a lot for this wonderful feedback! :-) It's very encouraging - and it motivates me deeply to keep confronting the moment with both passion, empathy and oversight. Thank you for also emphasising the BUT in the dilemma I presented; I can definitely feel the importance of not letting anyone dwell in the density... 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' is a powerful movie, and I feel to watch it again soon now! :-) 

With love, 


Here is the maestro Alan Watts on the Daoist concept of "Wu Wei", loosely translated as 'not forcing anything in life' but rather going with the natural flow. To me it's a majestically simplified expression of the interrelating Toroidal Field. I would add that even though we're not forcing things to access the flow, you do still have to commit to what's flowing through you. Things will create naturally this way, yes, but you still do have to harness and amplify your unique expression of the energy. The butterfly is being the butterly, the flower the flower. They are being nothing more than that, but also, certainly nothing less...

One of the key factors that is infused through the Openhand self-realisation work (and especially at the gatherings), is to get a feeling sense of how the Toroidal Field is wanting to flow through you. When it's moving in harmony, without blockages, then it brings you into alignment personally, and into alignment with the Universal flow. Everything feels balanced and creative action happens harmoniously in your life - you create authetnically.

So do check out the lead article above today, digest what resonates at this point, and do explore how working on unleashing it, might have profound benefit in your day to day choices. Do check in with me about that if you'd like any reflections.


Open HeartPraying Emoji

Hi everyone,

This morning I worked to connect up with the toroidal flow with breakthrough breathing followed by chakra attunement. Wasn't feeling very connected so went directly into the Bow to feel into wherever the heck the tension is that needs to be released or realigned. I basically felt numb, but I've been experiencing psoriasis on my face around my nose all year long and intuitively asked to be shown the origination of the distortion associated with it.

As I'm going into the bow it's like I'm immediately being forced downward by a malevolent distorted male force - a false Father pushing my face down and rubbing my nose into my own failure/humiliation. Expressing that pain to bring more of it up to feel into and look at was quite a loud mess (helps to have an empty house). Surrendering and witnessing through it as best I could, after rage and frustration came finally a deep sense of core shame and grieving shared by both father and son. The majority of the tension was in the third eye and I couldn't feel where in the lower three centers it was connecting to, although there is a flicker in my solar plexus as I type this. The feeling had to do with not wielding my own power responsibly or wisely, like I had failed in some other life and further condemned the people I was trying to help. Forgiveness felt like it was in order but wasn't ready to land yet - I've already forgiven myself and my birth father for all kinds of crap and this feels like it goes a lot deeper.

I asked for a key to go further in and got a brief image of a pyramidal eye followed by a primordial darkness/blankness in my mind space majorly intensifying the pressure and pain in my forehead. I'm not sure how to best describe this, but it felt like my mind and third eye became a inverted vortex and I felt everything - my entire sense of being - being sucked right out through my nose, and I was left in a vacuum state shell of a body. Like a robotic lobotomized mummified zombie. All memories and multidimensional connection just totally wiped out. It sucked really, really bad. Perfect unintended pun.

Although I'm still there from the observer point being aware of all this, in addition to some negative entities I can feel but not see are getting confused and concerned. At that point I asked for guidance and strength to help reintegrate and felt a good bit of energy coming through and flickers of reconnection. But everything is still dark for the most part.

Coming out of it, I ask for a song on autoselect and it's "Believe" by The Bravery:

I am hiding from some beast

But the beast was always here

Watching without eyes

Because the beast is just my fear

That I am just nothing

Now it's just what I've become

What am I waiting for?

It's already done.

Contemplating this now while writing connects to the paralyzing fear I've experienced throughout my life that causes me to "blank out" and lose my mind. There's a fear of completely losing myself, of death taking everything but it's already happened and I'm still here, aren't I? I mean, come on, mind! You know this is true; what more do you want?

This particular stage of breakthrough is usually where I get stuck looking at my patterns, instead of reintegration and full embodiment of the newly transmuted expression. There is also a real resistance to asking for help, and to fake it til I make it until I've got it all figured out myself. Why? Well, because, F you, Dad! 

The entire intent of this was to share and ask for any welcome reflections on how to move forward from here. But maybe what's being invited IS to simply go with it and express.

Reflections still welcome! :)

Hi Eric,

Deep explorations for sure!

I'd invite you to explore the nature of the distorted father figure pressurising you some more. And also the feeling of disempowerment. It could well be that there are conflicting movements of consciousness happening.

When people connect up to and start responding to the Toroidal Flow, (which is really the free flow of soul in life) on the one hand it will feel like expansion and freedom. However, the more soul you integrate into the dynamic, there will come a point where the soul starts to take over. And the ego will feel this as a loss of power, because it's losing control. So there's an invitation to explore...

Is it the ego that's steadily losing power to the soul (and wider Universe/father) and moving toward its demise?

It's possible also that there is karma around a distorting (Opposing) influence. So this could be being activated too - the conflicting energies of which I speak.

My sense is to work through your meditations to connect into the Void of presence with total surrender. Especially to let go of control and fear - let go of being controlled. Meaning if you find yourself controlled, then surrender into and deeply through that. Then to pick up the soul's flow afterwards.

See how that goes.

Open Praying Emoji

I felt to jump in here again and add a little on what it means to be feeling and following the Toroidal Flow in daily life?

It may at first sound peculiar, but everything is within, and as you travel within, then you create the outer. You might ask, 'well how does this relate to people in regular life?' They're still creating that way, it's just they got stuck in a density (society) of constantly repeating programs - an eddy current in the Toroidal Flow.

In the beginning you start to tune into the soul which at some point, takes you more out into the expansiveness. You get a 4D sense of the totality. Many at this point think they're already 'arrived', already attained some kind of Enlightenment, but really it's just dipping one's toe in the water.

The more you persevere with the soul in spiritual practice, the stronger the soul infuses until at some point, the balance of 'power' switches in its favour. This is called "Realignment", or Gateway 2 in the 5GATEWAYS. This is where your soul with the Toroidal Flow takes over. Again, this is not the end of the story but another beginning. It's a powerful one though, since you're really stepping into the abode of the soul and its where the real journey begins.

Now you unleash the soul within, then it will guide you more and more in daily circumstances. It's inviting new expressions of beingness, in relationships, careers and general day to day circumstances. This is where you'll hit density again, or 'tightness', as the flow hits constrictions (programs) inside. As you work to unarvel these programs by softening through them and not allowing them to take over, then more and more soul beingness infuses. You're progressively unleashing the Toroidal Flow of life through your soul, and into daily life. This is where it starts to feel tremendously alchemical as you work within, but then pretty much immediately, witness the transformation in the outer.

It progressively brings you into the 'flow state'. Which I made a video about here. Do ask if you'd like more reflections...

Dear Open and all tuned in ,

I am expressing on this thread because for me the Torus is very real.  Every single time I do any kind of breathwork or meditation I start to shake and the symbol of the spiral and I start to see visions of really beautiful grandeur . I also 'see' fantastical geometrical shapes that make more sense to me now that I follow your crop circle explorations . 

The last week has been extremely intense within and without . In an earlier post I mentioned how I am feeling the pain of abandonment . I read an article that talked about abandonment and avoidance as strategies we employ in our intimate relationships and it hit home and how ! I suddenly saw how despite all the work I thought I have done that the pain of abandonment afflicts all my intimate relationships. It has been a very humbling discovery. I also discovered how and where it sits in my body. It is a sharp pain to the left of my sternum ,I can feel it energetically . I have been avoiding feeling it my entire life ! 

Concomitantly on the outside I have had patients with bleeding. ( This is where I was bleeding my energy into ?) . One had a condition that causes his blood cells to break ( and this despite him being tested antenatally) and the other who almost died after he bled into his scalp after a freak accident at birth. Contemplating all of this also make me feel a burning in my sacrum . And yet something has become free . Even in the relationship with my husband ,something fresh has come in and he is able to share his thoughts and feelings better . 

I am still seeing pyramids everywhere. In March at a party for my friends 52nd birthday I met her friend who too one look at me and invited me I to her home for a reading . She is a witch and she also told me how I had 'called' her. I wasn't ready to meet her then ,but I may be now . Again she is feeling very Egyptian to me for some reason ( she loves Egypt !) 

I felt like writing this stuff down. Now it seems pretty vague and irrelevant ,but I'm not going to edit it at all. 

Reflections always welcome !


In reply to by Megha

Hi Megha - I've experienced a good bit of left side heart trauma, in that exact spot. In my case it represents the feminine side in me that's been repressed, dominated, violated, betrayed, abandoned, and left "hung out to dry" by the distorted masculine. I'm noticing the masculine side is almost paralyzed to let go and move forward with "right action" out of fear that he's going to get it "wrong" again, and experience the wrathful judgment of the distorted feminine. The Phil Collins song "In the Air Tonight" came on while contemplating and meditating on this earlier today, which is about allowing someone to drown through inaction. My inner vision witnessed the flickering image of a woman drowning through the hazy waters as I stared into her eyes, but I didn't move to save her and was somehow frozen to the spot. I don't know why but there is the strangest urge to say "I'm sorry" to you personally. 

Open, funny that you posted "The Laughing Heart" Bukowski poem over in another thread today, because that's exactly where I finally ended up after some intense processing the other day. It took just getting up to music to express soul movement however it wanted to come through, and all of a sudden my whole body locked up and doubled over in solar plexus pain, along with sudden unexpected tearing heart pain. The heart pain hit with the simultaneous realization of just having celebrated my dad's birthday on 9/11, twin tower imagery, and black snake imagery constricting my inner sun. From there I staggered around looking for someplace to implode, landing on my couch and asking to go right into it. This scene landed in awareness, in the context that Leonardo DiCaprio has to see through his own false mental projection of his twin flame in order to move forward with the reality of his choosing. The two children at the end even match the age gap/gender of my own...

Then I realized it's not about being in or not being in a relationship with someone that's the issue - the issue is my FEAR of losing the all encompassing "Her." It's the fear itself I must go into. So the soul impulse lands to play U2's With Or Without You, and it stokes indignant anger towards the cosmic Father that I'm being asked to sacrifice and give up everything. That anything I love, I must let go of. Everything I love, dies. Everything I do, is never enough. 

But the realization lands: I'm not being asked to "do" anything - to stay or leave - except to be true to my Self, from whence actions flow quite naturally. So I'm really being "asked" to let go of the physical, mental, and emotional attachments because these are what tie in consciousness to lower levels of awareness. It's not the "wrong" place to be or anything, but since my soul is pushing/pulling me to awareness of higher realms, FACING FEAR IS THE PATH. 

When I re-realize for the thousandth time that everything in daily life is a creative reflection of my core Self/Twin Flame that is ALREADY at the Source and IS my Source, and She is lovingly, inexhaustibly, perfectly drawing me back, I can't help but start laughing uncontrollably. It's like a massive necessary universal joke at "my" expense. Then I'm crying and grieving for buying into it. Then laughing again. Then both happening at the same time, for a long time, and I am witnessing all of it as a non-judgmental presence with a perfect little compassionate dose of mirth/joy/humour. The Laughing Heart. Upon that realization/conscious embodiment I felt a blockage release from my base chakra, and my lower back heated up like crazy. It's been really hot off and on ever since.

Also, as a nice feedback loop for your Toroidal Flow article, The Flow manifested in daily life immediately. :) My phone rang from an old client from my banking days who is the very epitome of Ray 1 and 3. Ego wanted to ignore it and put him to voicemail, Soul was curious with nothing more to lose. Soul naturally won, and after we caught up for a while I had some consulting advice to share that he found very valuable. In the meantime, I'm the sponsorship fundraising chair for a community event happening just two weeks from now and fundraising I've been spearheading has been really lackluster. I'd already resigned to facing up to the disappointment of my peers in coming up way short. But I told him about the event anyway, not expecting anything since it’s so last minute and his business is two counties away, and he immediately said, "I want to be the Presenting Sponsor." Holy crap - now we're right on track for a highly successful event with proceeds going into grassroots community non-profits!


In reply to by Eric.

Dear Eric,

It's actually astounding how common our visceral experiences are. I am feeling all the sensations you describe especially the burning up and down the sacrum. My heart is also tearing up with a pain that leaves me breathless. Thank you for the insight into why it's left sided - it seems to me I have had ma y a crappy life as a woman with plenty of abandonment and abuse . Also after I cried uncontrollably and wailingly and shook after today ,I could feel a pulsation in that area that otherwise felt like a wall ,impervious to affection. My solar plexus too is in knots and I felt I to deep Fear today . 

My Inner sight showed me the image of a despondent woman near a well or a pond when a vibrating ,alive image of a man appeared to try to guide her out of her grief. 

I am just re-realizing how every person and situation we meet serves only to bring up something that already exists in us already . Even and especially all intense experiences . Many of you will be going 'Duuhhh,obviously' but it really  hit home today . About how my mind tries to control the external so it can absolve itself of responsibility for the internal. 

I also removed what felt like a very old implant on my left side - cylindrical metallic object. It feels like old old grief ! 

On the outside ,I have again been asked to contribute to an article about effects of air pollution in pregnancy and fetuses. 

Life is so interesting ! Lots of love to you and support for your processing . We definitely seem to be going through something together . Again Egypt ,ancient pops up in my brain. Do let me know if you see anything else 


Hi Megha - you're certainly having a rich and diverse experience in your unfolding!

You said this...

I am just re-realizing how every person and situation we meet serves only to bring up something that already exists in us already

It's funny isn't it, that you might get this as a philosophy, but then suddenly you draw a refelection, the veils fall, and suddenly, you see EVERYTHING is a reflection!

It's wonderful how you're embracing and owning the reality you're creating. It means things will accelerate for you and clarity will keep emerging.

Keep right on going!

Open HeartPraying Emoji


I agree, everything seems a reflection of myself especially when things are very intense and the mirror shows me something that I didn't want to own yet. Unfortunately I don't immediately get when the situations are taking place but most times later. 

One of my biggest distortions is that I can't stand up from myself - what I need, my limitations, my truth. This is years and years of conditioning with family and school system where my voice was systematically suppressed, shamed and controlled. I know I'm judging but can't help myself. Synchronistically life has again led me to the situation of school system where I can see the fear of authority face to face and how that expects me to be a certain way. But a good thing is that I see the distortions for what they are, not trying to fix it or not judging myself too harshly but seeing that this what I have to go through. Atleast challenges are better than nothing at all. I recollect instances in school system where I had enough of shaming and decided to stand up for myself. And that felt good. Maybe the truth is that of not wanting to hurt others, not being a threat for others, not being the reason for others sadness. But the sad thing is shoving down my truth results in my frustration since everything I see is a reflection, I can only see others frustration. Specially from those who have learned to be quiet, accepting and hide under protective veils.

Some weeks before something powerful happened, driven by the twin flame reflection - I called an unfairness into question within a group which drew a lot of judgments towards me specially from those who were invested in the current status quo. But interestingly it didn't matter because inside I was celebrating my new found confidence which had skyrocketed which positively influenced my game and what I did. Naively I thought that would stay but it didn't. Yet I made connections and even the connection from which I had judgements intitaly also strengthened which was very inspiring.

I guess the art of standing up for my truth is something to be learned step by step and not to be expected to happen in one giant sweep. So patience. 

Dear Vimal ,

I felt drawn to read my response to Eric's sharing . And there instead of writing 'Many a' lives of abuse and abandonment is written Maya . ( I seemed to have chewed up the n ) 😀. And that's , in my current state of understanding, what the whole story is about. Feel into the sensations and the circle of  emotions around patterns becomes a spiral and you can access a little more wisdom Everytime you go through the loop 

Sounds like it's very karmic for you not having a voice or the courage to speak up. I feel it in your throat and in your solar plexus. A suppression of the masculine ?

Do let me know what resonates for you 


Vimal and Megha,

Just saw this just before reading your exchange...

Authentic aligned divine masculine in an incredibly inspiring 16 year old girl who stopped going to school to protest climate change inaction ... and an American Congressman attempting to justify the U.S. role in it, hiding behind a sense of powerlessness. 

Greta Thunberg also gave this Ted Talk at age 15 - how fitting that the length of the clip is 11:11

Powerful exchanges indeed!

What we're allowing to come through, as we start to unleash the soul, are its various soul frequencies that allow you to dance with the moment. So it's great to have the ray 1 of positive action come through, but there must also be other faculties and qualities that help you blend sophistication with the expression. Or else it comes through in a distorted way.

To provide an example:

The climate change activism that you mention, in my perspective, is distorted in so many ways. And it's way too simplistic. When I awakened, I too felt the madness of society and the desire to support Gaia. This took me on a progressive journey of getting rid of pretty much all that I owned, consuming less and less, minimal electricity and heating, down to eating one meal a day. I started to grow my own food so as to reduce how much I purchased from shops. But as I was tending my organic garden, it's then that I realised I was STILL controlling the earth, STILL manipulating it for my ends. I was STILL controlling the bugs and the slugs by 'relocating' them. When you pull on one thread of consciousness in the climate change debate, it becomes hypocritical unless you're prepared to go all the way down to the nth degree. You sail a yacht to New York which is 'carbon neutral' - where did the materials come from to manufacture it? Where did the money come from to produce it? (which I can imagine cost a great deal). And how was the money earned? (in society I guess). And it's not the governments that are the cause of this. Nor even the corporations. It is how we each consume in society. If we consume less and less, then the corporations would cease to exist in their current form.

But here's the problem: humanity - IN HIS CURRENT FORM - isn't going to do that, and at the lowest base level, isn't able to do that. Homo Sapiens has been designed to fit within this system and is an integral part of it. As the system progressively unwinds, then so must this hybrid human vehicle too. Yes, let's change the system, but bear in mind that even at the most 'environmentally friendly' level you go to, Homo Sapiens is still the only creature on the planet that farms the environment to his own ends - no other creature has to do this. And were the earth to sustain 7.5 Billion people all organic farming, what happens to all the other creatures - THE NATURAL ECOSYSTEMS - that have rights to that space?

What we're seeing in the protest movement is the progressive emergence of soul. Which is a great thing, that I whole-heartedly support. Let's get out and protest, yes. But each has to dig deeper before they project outwards. What is this really all about?

The science that the movement is working on is woefully inadequate. For example, if we were to drastically cut fossil fuel emissions today, you'd have an immediate heating effect on the earth because of the reduction in aerosol masking of society (aerosols block out the sun). It would be enough to take us immediately 1.5 degrees higher - into an extinction level event. But even then, it's only a part of a much bigger puzzle. The human footprint is now being dwarfed by the Pole Shift, Solar Electromagnetic Forcing and a Galactic impulse too. Non of this is being considered and where it is truly leading to.

It's a cosmic cleansing mechanism that activates as life gets out of balance. One that is designed to break redundant realities down so that new harmonies can emerge. Our invitation is not to protest this, but to come into alignment with it. Until we dance in harmony with the underlying natural flow of life itself.

My point being, coming back to what you shared Vimal, is that the emergence of soul is progressive, and variable and dancing through different sophistications of fruequency. And we must make space for that to happen. Feel the ray 1 urge to protest yes, but then let the other rays come through that help you truly understand the bigger picture so as you know how to most effectively protest. And what do we really need to prepare for? I'd say what we really need to do is breakdown the strangle hold of the Global Industrial (by each consuming less from it), and then start to come together in small community groups, to become more resilient and supportive in the dramatic transformation of the earth which cannot now be stopped.

So I believe we must find this 'dance' in our families and immediate living circumstances. I express forthrightness, but then allow the compassion and understanding to come through aswell. I respond to one ray of the soul, but then maintain the openness to allow the other frequencies to flow in too.

PS - Eric you mention the 11:11 synchronicity in the Greta Thunberg video. Yes indeed. What a synchronicity - the interconnection of 4 key centres: your soul with Gaia, connected to the Solar Logos, and then to the Galactic Core. All moving as one. All cleansing and recreating in the dance of life. Let's look in the mirror of the great cosmic shift and apply sophistication to understand how we truly become as one with it. How do I best prepare for this. Respectfully it begins by asking, what am I really protesting against? It's all a mirror. All I see is a part of me. What I'm really protesting against is that unrealised aspect of myself.

Just a thought!

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Not sure what to do with this. I never quite know, but that's OK.


The Day Before Time


Born in darkness

To pay for the crimes of the Father

Against a Mother he yet remembers

Only in flicker and phantasm


Thrust deeply within a torrid tomb

Banished to the bottom of a jagged crevice

Miles deep in Earthly entrails


A little boy grows

In rock and dirt

A Womb clawed and hewn long ago

By his Father’s callous hand


The boy learns every sinew

Every heart beat

Within the twisting serpentine darkness

Until it is All he Knows

He becomes it


And One day

The darkness like a cancer rose

He rides a black Dragon up cobbled metamorphic walls

Out into the piercing Light


And there in that blinding Radiance

Horizons sprouting every direction

His Heart rips asunder

And he finally feels the Truth


It was torn so long ago

He cannot remember.


His Mother surrounds him

And he can feel Her now

But everywhere he sees Fields


Fields of outstretched Death

Harvesting meadows of pierced butterflies

Fluttering lives away

On exhibit


The boy’s name is Bane

He molds the twisted landscape

Into the highest semblance of beauty he knows


Banishing shards of fractured Soul

With loving Family




*** ***


Then It begins

With a Breath

Becoming a Whisper

Beckoning the boy with smiling lips unseen


And he follows

Curiosity is always the first Crime


Now a gentle Breeze

Caressing his hair

Kissing tears he’d

Forgotten to cry


She is her Mother’s daughter

She is the Thaw

Emerging from Ether

She is utterly unforeseen

And the boy’s world ends.


Painwaves of synaptic needling Sparks

Shards of more Feeling begin to return

And he takes first staggered


Towards Wholeness  


With each Step

The loving Wind intensifies


Until she becomes an unrelenting Storm

A deluge of living Aquarian memory

Flooding even those fields of Death


She is her Father’s daughter

She IS the storm

Reveling in the vivacity – the friction bringing her alive

The boy, seeing his own Father in her

Feels his own Father in him


A Father who

Cast the boy into the bowels of Earth

Deserted ravaging banishing and burning His own family

Even the children


And the boy hates her for it.


*** ***


She now no longer whispers to him

The Father does not whisper

He speaks in splitting forked lightning

Earth shattering commandments of thunder


Join Me, she Demands





And he hears only his Father’s voice:





He spits back



He does not hear the little girl

Desperately seeking her friend

Left behind on the playground

So many ages ago


She presents a perfect public poem

And he delights in her Voice

Her Performance

On Display for all to see

The Oohs and the Aahs

There is an audience now


Lapping up each one of her carefully crafted

Magnetic Multi-faceted words

The boy is naïve


And Greedy

Certain the poem honors him


And he is struck dumb

As the words condense into a scathing

Public stockade


How could the purest Prose

Publicly proclaim his own Unworthiness

In favor of another


A Mater of fact explanation crushes him

His young Heart a pincushion

A jagged lesson nevertheless neatly stitched

In flawless needlepoint:

Your best efforts are not enough

When you work in the darkness of unexplained motives


He takes solace Knowing

His failure has never been lack of Heart

But in lack of Knowledge

Which can yet be revealed

Through Time


And he Now hears the primordial Call

Of the Father in him

Capillary highways stained in His blood

And is terrified of his own Unbridled



For He has never Spoken truly

Without burning everything

Even the children


Especially the Children.


The visceral fear keeps him chained and muzzled

A hellbound Hellhound curled and bent fetally

Jaw stretched and locked

In a soundless shriek of rigor mortis


He signals one last warning

Leave Now

I am going to Fall

Yet she presses on


*** ***


So the boy becomes a Nighthawk

The Solar signs Adamant

He surrenders

Crossing Oceans to Meet her


And as he leaves the comfort

Of a Nest painstakingly built

He finally sees his desperate greed

His lack of integrity

Of Wholeness  


Laying down all his Cards

For all to see

For his family

For her

For his Mother




On his own Sword


And there

On the other side of an Ocean

She personifies everything

He ever dared imagine


Still he slowly slides down the blade

Slipping deeper and deeper into a place

Where there are no Thoughts

No Feelings

No Breath


An Abyss


Until a single Breath happens by itself

And it carries

One thought


Of his Son


One desire

To be with his only Son

On Easter



*** ***


Words severe

Mind severed

Tongue forking and snaking impotence

No escaping


Aegon buries his Dagger deep in Dannie’s heart


Looking into her shocked betrayed eyes

Iced wide shut

He sees the Void there too

And he is so sorry

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*** ***

No longer a boy

Not yet a Man

They both walk the Desert now

Bane and Aegon


Together they Pray

To the One True Father

Please give Us, Your Sons

And every one of Your children


The Courage and the focus

The strength and the Sight

To become the pillars of Truth

We once were



And He Answers


Fear not my Son

 Dig ever deeper within

  The Soil


*** ***


Aegon walks watchfully

Crevasses caked in Sand

No water for washes

Long out of wishes

But he Feels


Bane staggers wonders and wanders

Thirsting for water

And blood

Vengeance calls him


Aegon lets him clumsily articulate

Thinly veiled boasts of impaled pride

For in the Expression

Bane Learns


And even in the Desert

A brittle gust of air rustles thinly back

Carrying a trace of the Sea


*** ***


The ghosts of winter sail the Ocean now

In gilded vessels

Pushed over the World’s Edge

By a Patriarchal Song of Tryanny


Cherub faces contorted

Blazing eyes of righteous wrathful Judgment

Seeking out the False Father

To spit and to spite


They will not find Him there


*** ***


And Today

Lovingly laying down an empty shell

At the foot of the Triple tree

On this Third day

I watched Your bones Ignite

Glowing in the Dark


*** ***



I have loved Your Voice

Since the Day before Time


Sing Away