being in the flow?

Hi Open I would like to ask about something to do with wether am in the flow or not. I have had some financial difficulty recently. Its easing a little now as my child-minding business is getting underway. I see myself attending the course in Glastonbury in September yet its difficult to see where the funds will come from (am trying not to keep thinking about this just to let it go).

A couple of days ago I received an email from a lady I used to work for asking would I like to rent a couple of rooms to two of her workers coming here to work for two months. The amount offered in rent would exactly cover paying her a sum I owe her and also the expenses for getting to the course. Recently I have been really enjoying having my own space (I had lived with my elderly parents to assist them for a while) I now live in the house myself as they have both passed on. The thought of sharing with two others doesn't appeal at all. I am so much more relaxed and happy being on my own. I am pretty sure I am an empath and sometimes find it difficult to be in close proximity with others and unsure whats me and whats the other person. In a lot of ways it feels this wouldn't be a good step for me yet I am struggling to understand why this opportunity would come my way if that is the case.

Is it possible to manifest this type of thing from the small self ? I am trying to soften into the fear that perhaps I have blown the help I need to get there and might not have this opportunity again. A part of me yesterday was wondering do I really need to attend. Things are feeling much more relaxed in my life yet I have a inner yearning to be there. On reading the burning your boats sharing I realised I have a huge fear or not being supported if I let go of the old reality that I will not have enough and will struggle. Over the months since my dad passed away I have been in a serious financial situation sometimes not knowing where the next few pounds will come from to buy food etc. Yet I been telling myself - it will come , trust it will come that I will be supported and the truth is I didn't go without food or heat etc something always happened so I could meet my needs. I can only feel this was a big lesson that my Soul supports me. Wether it was someone asking me to eat with them or someone paying me back what was owed. Yet it seems it was a little too much of a struggle and I found it very stressful. Theres no cash for any extras at all. This makes me thing am I so misaligned that this situation is happening for me.

I keep telling myself it its beneficial for me to attend the funds will come - yet I had the opportunity of the funds coming but it felt to me it wasn't in the best way for me and my evolution.
:)
blessings
Elaine

Comments

Hi Elaine, greetings, welcome back :-)

I'd say you're definitely in the flow, because you're witnessing, feeling and trying to work with what's coming up for you. I'd say though, there's a degree of misunderstanding what the flow is inviting of you, and therein lies the challenge (and opportunity).

If your soul yearns to do something, then suddenly an opportunity presents to manifest the resources, pay careful attention. This is clearly the synchronistic flow speaking to you, providing an opportunity.

Yes, you are certainly an empath, but that doesn't necessarily mean you should always live in seclusion. And it's only for 2 months. So it's highly likely the universe offered the opportunity of the resources (to do something your soul was yearning to do), whilst at the same time, challenging you to manage your gifts of emapthy around other people.

The path will always do this - offer the opportunity of expansion and growth, through a challenge, by taking us in a direction the soul yearns to go. It's definitely not about taking the easy option all the time.

So I would say the synchronistic play of events is inviting a deeper working with your gifts of empathy.

Much love

Open <3

ah I see. Oh dear I think I have talked myself out of several opportunities which have seemed like they could be difficult. I don't know if its related to what I talked about for getting to the course but last night the palpitations started up again - I have no idea why. I really felt I had got to the cause (the buffalo help thing)but last night I was just watching something on my laptop when I felt them start up. This has been something happening for me off and on for months and to be honest I feel despair now - it feels like I am sitting in a load of fear but I don't even know wht the fear is about. I have tried softening becoming one with it etc but nothing is coming up to show me where its from. I think it may be related to heat am feeling sudden flarings of heat (could be my age :)) People have commented that I had seemed much happier this last week and its because I was so much more relaxed without the palpitations happening. I really thought I had evolved out of this. Is it possible its another layer of something or I am feeling anxious due to an influx of energy or something? I don't like to ask for too much of your time I hope its okay to ask about this
blessings
Elaine

Hi Elaine,

It's absolutely fine to ask - that's what I'm here for :-)

What you're experiencing is almost certainly karma. This is going to happen often on the path, so it's important to work to surrender more to the sense of life being a process: that you'll definitely keep moving into new layers internally. It's not about being beyond the process - even in enlightenment there is the continual process of unfolding and expression.

The important thing is to develop your own most effective ways of dealing with what comes up.

Did I direct you to this?....
Openhand 9 step healing process for dealing with karma

It's something we'll get deep into on the Breakthrough Course at Avalon if you can make it. It's sure to be very helpful.

It sounds to me like you have access to a very intuitive way of dealing with stuff that comes up - but perhaps not yet enough confidence to fully believe in yourself. Let's work on that.

Open *OK*

I think you are spot on with the lack of confidence. Its been quite a long lonely and scary road on my own. I am very glad and grateful to have found your community

love
Elaine

As I am reading what your sharing I am deeply moved. I have also struggled with trust and the feeling of being supported all my life and have just recently come to some deeper connection and understanding of how this has hijacked and directed much of my life. It has been a very painful realization. I can speak directly as to how much this work has transformed my life and it has been such an incredible gift for me. It has changed my life in so many ways and I have seen it do that for others. I am in awe of where you are on your journey just through your own realizations and love to read what you share as I resonate with much of it. What I feel to share is to follow what feels right for you now because I can see how the lessons of not letting go and trusting in the flow or the universe will only create more intense circumstances for you have to let go into. I have resisted long enough and am being challenged to my edge at the moment. I guess we all have to find the edge for us where we can soften into but not be pushed beyond our abilities and boundaries at the moment. Wishing you well.
Kim

In reply to by kim

thankyou Kim for you kind words and advice.
blessings
Elaine

Hello again :)

this morning I woke with the impression that I was working on releasing karma between the Scottish and the English (my mum was English and my dad Orcadian/Scottish. I lay with this for a time (I think my dreams pointed to this too). Then my hands got really hot and I felt guided to put one at my throat and one on my left leg (places always had issues with) Then I began to see myself as a soldier but way back before Jacobean rebellion times - I could hear the jingling of horses equipment, could feel the fear of going to battle but also the inevitability of it as a man in those times. I then saw a woman and felt the fear and loss of her male going off to war. Then a young boy who saw it as a glorious thing and wished he could fight. Then I saw a battlefield of dead bodies the slaughter. Then a shield with a red cross on it and a warrior who prayed and seemed to have an angel of god with him or he thought he did. He thought his war righteous. Then it was a castle and I was someone looking out over the parapet but the sun was blood red and it was an ill omen that god had deserted us. I then was handed a key and it unlocked something in the castle I think and as I stepped through there was beautiful golden light and that light took me up out of my body and then I could see these were all just experiences I had had to have. I saw (it looked funny) a vehicle/machine kind of like a go kart but without wheels it hovered and this was what took me between/to the various different expierences I needed to have. I then could feel that everyone is the same everyone is here to experience whatever they need to experience. I saw Dom there (my ex/friend) and he had been getting ready to go on to the next experience also. Before the golden light I had felt abandoned , abandoned by my god/creator - up to my calves in shit. The feeling of whats going on why is it like this , what has happened. After/during the golden light there was no feeling like that - it was just that it is as it is - it felt gentle a relief that it was like something just falling off . I don't know how much of this was really past life events or if it was metaphorical. I do know that its like a remembering and the pain is only in the not being able to remember.

The fear and the palpitations have gone (haha for now).

love
Elaine

Hi Elaine,

Thanks for sharing - you can see in such graphic detail - wonderful :-)
These are the kinds of visions that frequently activate for people on the Openhand course work.

When karma starts activating like this, it's always about working through the feelings. Not necessarily trying to understand what they're about - although that may come to you too.

Simply see the images and then feel deeply into the feelings. Then progressively open through them, normalising and becoming as-one with them. Then the trauma disappears (as it did with you) and the karma is gone - that fragment of soul is now reintegrated.

Wonderful!

Open *OK*