Hi Open I would like to ask about something to do with wether am in the flow or not. I have had some financial difficulty recently. Its easing a little now as my child-minding business is getting underway. I see myself attending the course in Glastonbury in September yet its difficult to see where the funds will come from (am trying not to keep thinking about this just to let it go).
A couple of days ago I received an email from a lady I used to work for asking would I like to rent a couple of rooms to two of her workers coming here to work for two months. The amount offered in rent would exactly cover paying her a sum I owe her and also the expenses for getting to the course. Recently I have been really enjoying having my own space (I had lived with my elderly parents to assist them for a while) I now live in the house myself as they have both passed on. The thought of sharing with two others doesn't appeal at all. I am so much more relaxed and happy being on my own. I am pretty sure I am an empath and sometimes find it difficult to be in close proximity with others and unsure whats me and whats the other person. In a lot of ways it feels this wouldn't be a good step for me yet I am struggling to understand why this opportunity would come my way if that is the case.
Is it possible to manifest this type of thing from the small self ? I am trying to soften into the fear that perhaps I have blown the help I need to get there and might not have this opportunity again. A part of me yesterday was wondering do I really need to attend. Things are feeling much more relaxed in my life yet I have a inner yearning to be there. On reading the burning your boats sharing I realised I have a huge fear or not being supported if I let go of the old reality that I will not have enough and will struggle. Over the months since my dad passed away I have been in a serious financial situation sometimes not knowing where the next few pounds will come from to buy food etc. Yet I been telling myself - it will come , trust it will come that I will be supported and the truth is I didn't go without food or heat etc something always happened so I could meet my needs. I can only feel this was a big lesson that my Soul supports me. Wether it was someone asking me to eat with them or someone paying me back what was owed. Yet it seems it was a little too much of a struggle and I found it very stressful. Theres no cash for any extras at all. This makes me thing am I so misaligned that this situation is happening for me.
I keep telling myself it its beneficial for me to attend the funds will come - yet I had the opportunity of the funds coming but it felt to me it wasn't in the best way for me and my evolution.