Dinner with Dave...living at-one from my cabin

I've been really excited about starting this thread, a place where you can share as little, or as much as you like, about what is going on for you at the moment. I have not always found it easy to find words to express what I feel, so this space is specially dedicated to anyone wishing to start somewhere.
You are amongst friends here, let the words open a doorway to your soul.

David
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Yeah I had my doubts when I saw it sitting in our garden in a hundred pieces *unknw*
Little by little, piece by piece, it has been re-born into it's new, very welcome home. It has been cold, but so satisfying, especially the fact that it is second hand.
Mmmmm home grown veggies just around the corner, thats if we can beat the slugs to them!
:)

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I am using my iPad and it changed wonderful sharings to shavings and, as I wanted to congratulate Dave on his beautiful handiwork, it is totally appropriate. I know I'm hugely late to this Forum posting but WOW, I am blown away by the great demonstrations of sustainable living by Mr Williams, and lovely sharings from others in this thread. I'm starting to wonder how I can turn 2013 into a greater exploration of sustainable living in the city (or perhaps elsewhere) and it's so great to have inspiration. thank you and much love (oh and my ipod just shuffled onto 'heaven help us all' by Stevie Wonder. indeed! and I found a book called 'Dancer' on the delayed train Im on. Always a gift if you keep your awareness tuned in...) xx

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I promise not to write about every little thing that comes my way, but this felt so special, and as I am on the subject...
I was at a fellow openhanders this afternoon, and as I was waiting in her kitchen I noticed a broken plastic tap on her work bench. This would be perfect for the composting bin that I am making at the moment, I wonder if she still wants it. When I asked she said "I had been waiting for someone to come along for that" How amazing is that! something so small, but it felt like it had the magic of the whole universe behind it, wow, and shouldn't be too hard to fix either.
Love it!
David

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I can see why :). When I was routing around in the tip I was so happy. Reclaiming something that was not far off being dumped in a land fill site.
Each and every one was like uncovering a piece of hidden treasure.

Ahoy there me hearties, hahaha

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I have been meaning to build a rocket stove for ages. They are a really simple, and you can make them from just about anything, as long as it doesn't burn that is. :)
The type I felt to experiment with requires just a few bricks carefully stacked together to make what looks like a mini chimney. You then light a fire in the bottom, and the natural drawing effect means you get a really efficient, clean burning fire that you can cook on.
So in keeping consumption to as minimum as possible, I headed of to our local reclamation yard, an Aladdin's cave of used and recycled materials. No shortage of bricks here, and as I found the ones I felt would be most suitable, even the contemplation of buying second hand ones, didn't feel right either. I mean you see used bricks around all the time, surely if I kept my eyes open I would find some that needed a good home. So I parked the idea for a while and left an open space for what was meant to be.
Well the universe orchestrated a masterpiece with this one.
As I headed off for a walk that afternoon, I happened to catch an eye of some builders emptying a mini dumper into a skip. As I got closer I could see there were bricks in there, not only bricks but brand new ones!. I asked them why they were throwing them away and they told me it was cheaper to throw them away than send them back! I would like to say I was surprised, but I wasn't. In the matrix the cost to the planet is rarely taken into consideration and here was a classic example right in front of me.
*SCRATCH*
They were more than happy for me to have them though. Not only was there enough for me to build a rocket stove but I also got enough for making the foundations for our soon to come greenhouse, I must have collected around 6 wheelbarrow loads.
In one sense it is, and was, heartbreaking to see the waste and disregard for our planet like this. But in being able to be as resourceful and use as little as possible within it such a world, I feel like I am giving something back and it brings me so much joy and appreciation for what I do have.
It is truly amazing what you can find that people have thrown away. Not only were there bricks in there, but also a couple of perfectly good extension leads and a pallet. I am more than ever inspired to see how ever more resourceful I can be. Lets see what we can make.

Here is a short video on how to build a rocket stove. You can use any type of bricks, but from what I am discovering, the more they offer in insulation the better. And if any of you have any tips or tricks on being more resourceful I would love to hear them.
*MAIL*

David

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Imagine trying to survive in this world without money in our pockets. It wouldn't be easy, but it feels as though thats how it should be. Exchanging trading, i'll fix your lawnmower for a loaf of your lovingly home cooked bread. Ahhh, can you imagine? how awesome that would be.
I am really inspired by this guy, Mark Boyle, who has lived without money from 2008.
What a dude! Thats proper two fingers up to the financial system. He has just released a new book called the "Moneyless Manifesto" which is where I came across this short little video.
Inspirational!

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Aha. So David has moved away from the victorian values of sending small children up the the chimney to developing a radio controlled vehicle with a toilet brush attached?

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I remember those programs! I was going to say I thought David had:
- built a portal between dimensions.
- found a treasure map in lots of pieces.
- completed his latest clothing line for the 'Man about Nature'.
but of course he is building a chimney for his wood burner.

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I remember the days, before the time of all this super fast technology.

I'll give you a clue, well kind of cryptic clue anyway.

Whenever I think about this job, Mary poppins comes to mind.
*UNKNOWN*

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yes they are quite bulky. another less bulky idea is the plunger washing machine but as far as i can see theres no way to spin dry with this.

i havent gone too far into the washing machine idea, it was a project for when i got back from the UK but we were thinking something along these lines:

http://www.homelessdave.com/hdwashingman.htm

if you want design plans and more insight there are lots of links on this website

https://we.riseup.net/yummyben/pedal-powered-washing-machine

i wonder who will have theirs made first, me or dave :D

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That was proper numpty *SCRATCH*

Very intrigued, I had a quick look on youtube and saw this.

How awesome is that! I wanna have a go at building one, don't know where we would put it though.

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I've heard about and also posted it on facebook a while ago. I was trying to find one on the net for sale, but I couldn't :( There are several options and ideas about it. For example, idea called GiraDora:

I also tried to find it for sale, but couldn't, maybe it is available now :)

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I did dumster diving until I left for Canada in June and could cover about 80 percent of my food need with that! It was unbelievable what shops would throw away. It broke my heart to see that, and so it felt as if the lower energy of the non organic food was balanced out with the act of saving it from being wasted. What I experienced was that there wasnt only the processed stuff but mostly vegetable and fruits in the dumpsters. I also went to dumpsters of organic food stores and didnt think that I would find a lot there, but wrong!!!
You wouldnt believe what they throw away too! Perfectly fresh lettuce, apples etc...
That shows that organic supermarkets are enslaved by their customers like the big stores, or rather that people who buy their food at organic shops have the same expectations of 'perfection' and therefore the shops attune to that expectation. With buying organic food there comes no change in consciousness unfortunately.
What I also found over time as my spiritual consciousness grew was that I became more and more sensitive to food and in the end I couldn't really cope with the non organic 'dumpster food'. So that put me ín a difficult position as I still feel that it is so wrong to throw good food away but on the other hand I feel the need to get purer and purer from both the inside and outside.
I have to contemplate that topic again!
:-)

Sandra
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha !!

thats a crackup!

i will consider devising a washing machine for my bicycle after i get around to installing my "everythings ok" alarm lol.

good one :D

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ohhh, I seeee, a bicycle powered washing machine, now I get it. I thought you meant a machine to wash bicycles (seemed a little pointless). Thats a great idea, I had not heard of one before. I would love to see that in action.

You must have found somewhere else that runs a similar course, the company I did it with haven't got one on till next year, I guess there must be a few out there.

David

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heya Ben

Nice to meet you

oh cool, i didnt know there was a term for this, "freegan" sounds a bit nicer than "dung beetle" i guess. Im sure freegan websites will be another good source of ideas and inspiration - thanks for the heads up.

Ive contemplated dumpster diving before, however watching friends come back with their harvest ive noticed the food is usually packaged and processed stuff, and its a similar issue with other peoples left-overs for me, id prefer to eat whats growing in my garden over this food.

We grow a good portion of our own food, the only thing we really buy are grains, oil and herbs from our local food co-op. However, When I travel i cant eat from my garden, so i guess i will feel out whats my highest choice then - eating recycled, less nourishing food or purchasing more nourishing food.

I will see how that goes

Amber :)

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Hi Amber,

How lovely to have you dropping by :)
A bicycle washing machine, sounds interesting. Do you really need a machine?, what about a good old sponge and bucket of water?

The survival course I went on was the last one of this year. There are many aspects of it that would come naturally, if you explore what impact having no electricity, gas, running water, and such like, would have on you and those around. Anything you could do to prepare would be a real bonus, like maybe stocking up on some tin and dried food, bottles of water, candles etc.

The bonus of being in an urban environment is the abundance of stuff and materials you can improvise with, creativity and resourcefulness will really come into their own here.

Look forward to seeing you soon.
David

In reply to by David

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Heya Dave

Washing your clothes with a bucket and sponge is an option too. For us its more suitable to use a washing machine for a few reasons. There are usually a minimum of three people in our house, and very, very limited water access. Three peoples washing in one big drum plus 4-8 buckets of water is more water efficient than using several buckets of water per person to do their own hand wash. I also need to take the other two people in my house into consideration, they do not want to do their own hand washing as they have other projects they find a more valuable use of their time, which is fair enough. So a bicycle washing machine is a solution everyone is happy with. Another option is a plunger washer, it is a much simpler contraption that could be made on a larger scale. My partner is not quite as interested in self sufficiency as I am, and hes mad about bikes so a bicycle washing machine is a nice way of making it fun for him :) I guess its all about what suits you in your environment

Thanks for a little more info about the course, I think i found it online and theres one on 3-5 November. It does sound like alot of the course content could be learnt from survivalist and preppers websites, but i find reading online isnt the same depth of learning as experiencing so i will look into it more

talk soon

amber

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hi amber

did you ever hear of 'freeganism'? Apparently ridiculous amounts of edible food and useable resources are literally thrown away or destroyed every day. There's lots of info online. figures such as "15 million tonnes of food" in the UK every year!
'freegans', as I understand it, feed themselves largely from some of what would otherwise be discarded (or already has been) as well as living in ways that use less or minimal extra resources. It makes some sense. I remember sitting in a cafe with a friend of mine a few years back and he managed to get a decent sized meal just by helping himself to food that other people had left behind, and there was more to spare. It may sound a bit funny but its a powerful mirror I think. That food was otherwise 'destined' for the bin!

Its an interesting way of living in the matrix but not 'buying into it'. I think there's lots of ways to be more in tune with the earth and living in more 'aligned' ways in the city. even living with other people is one step as it saves money towards fuel and so forth.

have fun exploring! and enjoy. :-)
blessings

Ben

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Heya Dave and all

I am right into self sufficiency and surthrival stuff too. Ive done some courses on living off the land, however urban survival sounds like a great tool to have in the kit too.

There was a time where all this excess and the behaviour that created it seemed so hopelessly unstoppable that i just wanted to reject it all and go live in the bush. I thought the best way to be part of the solution was through complete non-compliance.

But after trying out living on the land, i was humbled to realise that i am not aware enough to live in total harmony with nature and infact, by living there, i was actually causing more stress to what tiny pockets of gaias natural skin that are left in (relative) peace.

Now i feel its probably kinder to her to live in town and "redeem" other peoples junk to create systems for living here as gently as possible, rather than stomping around in the bush crushing and scaring who knows what and unknowingly pulling down other creatures homes to build my own etc..

...so now ive assumed the role of dung beetle of town -composting consumption waste in my own way. its really fun and it allows for me to be creative which is great platform for learning about myself experientially :)

our next projects are a bicycle washing machine and a sun oven.

of course, ideally we wouldn't wear clothes as our bodies would just acclimatise to the conditions and therefore we wouldn't need washing machines. And we wouldn't cook food at all, just pick what we need as we go...But after trying this out, i now know that evolution to this stage is gradual. So until i can completely flow with nature, i will continue to wear clothes and they will need washing. And although i eat mostly raw vegan, when i need help to get grounded i will continue to roast legumes
..so a bicycle washing machine and a sun oven seem the kindest ways of going about this.

David, would you mind forwarding me the details of the urban preparedness survival weekend please? i have a couple weeks spare in the UK after the walking the path course on next week and id be interested in going if there happens to be one on.

Might see you in Glastonbury, would be fun to catch up if your around :D

love amber

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Thanks David.

Yeah when your really walking the path, everything your engaged in becomes part of your journey, even hoovering the house!

I Love it!, not always though, sometimes can be a pain in the bum.

Much love to you
David

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The cabin is amazing Dave! And your first sharing too. How deep we can get with "ordinary things"! (as if they would even exist)

That really inspires me to work with my hands and my heart more then with my brain :-)

Thank you for sharing this. I find it very deep. There is a temptation to share only the "etheric stuff" on a "spiritual website" - you have demonstrated how everything can be "spiritual", and like others said before I can literally feel your souls love even through the pictures of the cabin.

Awesome.
The other David

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I'm back! :)
I have just been on a urban preparedness survival weekend. It was awesome! We were looking at all aspects of survival in the event of loss of basic services, food shortages, infra-structure breakdown, within an urban environment. So how to make use of what you have around you, and what the biggest potential threats are, and ways of dealing with them.
I love learning about self sufficiency and being resourceful, can't get enough of it. I know there will come a time where it will become part of a new way of living.
Hopefully we will get to share it with some of you in the not too distant future.
Get your cam cream out! hahaha,

Dave

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Thanks for the comments guys, they are really heartwarming. I am so happy to have shared the journey with you.

I know what you mean Mark, there is nothing like a bit of digging to get you in the zone.

Much love
David

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Dave I love the cabin. It looks great. I'm impressed by your creation, but more so by how you so fully engaged with it, your perseverance, your continued 'self-consciousness' (you know what I mean) throughout the process, and by the natural expression of your beautiful gifts of beingness. You are a multi-talented man and I see the cabin as a work of art. honestly.
well done!

B

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Dave, an awesome job outside and in.It fits so naturally in the garden and I can see it blending in more with time. It is funny how this year the most satisfying job I did was digging footings for an extension with a friend. They were a metre deep and I really got into the zone through the day. Much more fun than computer networks! Mark

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Dave, you're the man! hhhhh Or hmm your cabin IS the man! Ok, I am confused.

The point is WOW! Love it :)

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It's an awesome job Dave - an expression of you.

Keep shining!

Open

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"Trumpets please"... just kidding :)
So here are the piccies of my finished cabin. I have now spent a couple of days and nights in here, and I have to say it feels sooo good.
Hope you like.

Dave
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In reply to by David

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OMG I can't breathe!!! This is really amazing!! Beautiful!

Well, you know... what if you just don't quite as yet drop that "perrrrrfection thingy" :-)?!?!
if I may "ask", or not totally...
- even from a distance it (with the help of it you) creates wonders...
congratulations !
R

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Glad you like it, in many ways it feels like just the start, a blank canvas in which to paint the colours of my soul, Thank heavens for blank canvasses :)

Dave
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I love it!

If feels so mmmmm you know, like something that is connected to the inner destruction and rebuilding... I don't know how to put it... very exciting! :)

About love... I feel more like letting it find me than looking for it, but it is how it works with me.

Big hug
<3

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So here they are guys, the long awaited cabin pictures.

A gift from the universe! This former portacabin was given to us from a next door neighbor who no longer wanted it. Showing it's age and springing a few to many leaks meant it was time for a bit of diy, bringing a new lease of life to the old girl.

First things first, you've gotta get the foundations right. Chris and I shared, pondered, and allowed right action to lead the way. In many ways this sort of project was new to us both, the more we opened, the clearer the way became.

Here I have started to fix the cladding on. The wood I used is Western red cedar which I cut down from a woodland just a few miles away. Although I found it hard to cut the trees down, I allowed space to consciously connect with them, a connection that has stayed throughout.

So after working on the external my attention was drawn internally also, the walls were in pretty bad shape and on closer inspection the insulation was not up to much. You can't work on the external without looking at your inner world hahaha, so out with the old walls, and in with recycled glass bottle insulation, and new walls. When I took this photo I remember thinking what have I got myself into here.

I love the before and afters. Here is the inside now finished. I have used the wood on the inside as well, gives it that wooden cabin rustic feel, and also brings the energy of the magnificent trees inside with me.

I have yet to take one of the outside, you'll just have to tune in tomorrow for the next installment...

Dave

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Great to see some more guests dropping round, welcome guys.
Looks like we are in for a real treat with that pizza from heaven, yummy!

Like your sharing Yulia ;) I know what you mean about perfection in imperfection. I was watching it today and it felt more like a striving, like finding some form of completeness in getting it "just right". I could trace it to a feeling of that I would only be loved, if it is perfect, hence the strong striving.
No one loves me :( I guess i'll just have to keep looking till I find it, must be in here somewhere.

So my cabin is in the finishing stages. Just got a few small things to finish before I move back in. Here are a couple of piccies, more to follow...

In the early stages of putting the roof on, consulting with the the foreman.

The roof was one of the first bits I built. Just after I finished the heavens opened and I was so delighted to see that it leaked no more, nice!

David

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Is there any left for me?

I'm loving the new website btw - great work!

Love and light, Fi

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I dont hear myself say no to that :-)
looks awesome as always!

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Hi Dave,
it is hard to keep up, as you are so popular hahaha :P

Anyway, I felt to say that lately, during recent months,it feels like I am finding this balance between aspiring for perfection, which is natural and inherent, but on the other hand, losing all the ego connected to it, losing the tightness and rigidity about it.

And, interestingly, what I found this week is the paradoxical perfection of imperfections.

Before I would look at things, and myself, and was focused on what is wrong, what is not perfect. Then I started focusing on what is right. Then I could hold both together. And now... surprisingly, they fuse together! Nothing I would expect!

There is some kind of mysterious beauty in what is not 'right', what feels like not perfect, but this one allows this whole reality and process to exist.

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It reminds me of this great movie I enjoyed so much, Cosmopolis.

WARNING! SPOILER!

In this movie, the protagonist, who is genius in predicting how the foreign currency will behave in stock market, suddenly fails and loses everything, all his millions and going through the internal process throughout the movie, until eventually he is shown that he made the mistake because his model was too perfect, too symmetric, and that he forgot to take into consideration the asymmetric factor, this spontaneous, unexpected, imperfect twist that is pervading all reality. And that he actually was given a hint by his doctor, who found that his prostate is asymmetric hhhhh

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Well, anyway, enjoy your cabin, I see in it an expression of you expressing yourself externally rather than hiding behind the smooth walls :D And I really loved what I saw last time!

Hugs <3

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Hi Sandra mou,

Thanks for sharing, Yes i relate to some of what you are saying too.
The concept of failure and what it means to me etc is something that i am now discovering. i hadnt contemplated it in depth before.. and its interesting!

lots of love

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Oh I love that poem! It touches something very deep inside of me!

Vaso, I can so relate to what you were saying about failure. I experience similar. I have the feeling that I have never really failed in life and am therefore scared when it will finally happen. I feel it would be good to experience because in the end what can happen? I would still be there. And also as you described I have that issue with a 100 % committment (on an intelectual level) because I don't want to experience that I might fail I always told myself that I cant do things (like in university). I always told myself that I am not smart enough to fully grasp a topic or to get a straight A. And therefore I wasnt disappointed when it didnt happen, because I told myself that I couldnt do it. But what I experienced during the last term of my studies (that was after the level 2 and 3 course when I was full of confidence in myself) was, that without much effort I achieved everything I needed to achive and the results came from my soul and not from my brain! That was such an amazing experience because the feeling of rightness in whatever result I would get was there. I knew from my heart that I did the best I could and in doing so the need for an outcome fell away because I achieved it already: doing the best I could :-)

So what I try to embrace is the fact that doing the best I can and doing it from the heart is much more fullfilling than the need for a certain outcome. Because in the end what does it matter what grade you have or whether you can play a song perfectly? The experience and the knowledge about yourself you can gain during the journey, seems much more important to me now :-)

So that is what I try to remember when my perfections buttons are getting pushed;-)
what happens quite a lot recently because I am living at a place where I do some decoration work and when I work I try to be a 100 % focused and in the moment of what I am doing. And I like doing things properly. So very often when I am in the middle of a job the guy I am living with comes and tells me that I dont have to worry to much about doing it perfectly, or he takes the brush and paints over the parts I just spent 10 min. on to make them look very even because he didn't want me to do a second coat, but the underlying paint was still shining through. So my first reaction is that I get very tight and angry because I feel kind of undermined and I just want to stop in proceeding the work because it feels as if with that interfering the piece of soul I put into the work has been riped out.
But then I think, ok it's not my problem if I then need longer to finish a job because I will just paint over it again and realign my piece of soul.

much love

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Hi David

Yummy! I would have some please.. :)

Thanks for reminding me of that poem Reka! I completely forgot about it. I remember we kept analyzing the meaning of it back in high school.. Now it has very different meaning for me!

Love you guys
Vaso

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Well how blessed am I, three beautiful souls round for dinner, thanks for sharing here guys.
Now for dinner, I'm feeling a vegetable bake, with a yummy topping, warming and wholesome. Trinity has a recipe for one in Triniy's Conscious kitchen, it's always a winner on the courses, and what better time of year. :)

Lots of love
x

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Hey David,
I'm so glad you make your lovely voice be heard in this way!
BTW: What's for dinner?!!?!? Knowing your cooking skills, please sign me up among your guests! :-)

Perrrrrrrrfection, oh yes, a nice one... For me one pitfall can be when I (or others) think of it as some sort of a train station, s.thing to arrive at? A state to achieve? (And by the way, even if it was like that, would I really want to stay there I wonder... actually i know: for sure not.)

I found this poem some days ago for a dear friend, who's recently set out on a kinda personal Odyssey... I have not shown it to him yet, instead I feel this is now the place to share it (also as a gesture of love for Vaso, since it is by early 20th-c. Greek poet Kavafis).

The (our /each of our's) Odyssey is clearly about a man who is roaming about, looking for something and wants to feel perfectly home somewhere. For instance in Ithaca. Or in himself. Thus I felt it belongs here.

"As you set out for Ithaca
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – don’t be afraid of them:
you’ ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon – you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbours you’re seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind -
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaca always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you’re destined for.
But don’t hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you’re old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to make you rich.

Ithaca gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn’t have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you’ll have understood by then this is the meaning of Ithaca."

K. Kavafis, (Greek Κωνσταντίνος Π. Καβάφης) (April 29, 1863 – April 29, 1933)

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Hi Guys,

Thank you for sharing David. I would like to see the pictures of the cabin too.
This is an interesting topic... For me, not because i strive for success but because i am afraid that if i try i can be very good or if i try i may as well fail. i see it in many aspects of my life.
i am afraid of disappointment and failure. So i dont put much effort or i am not trying 100% so that if i fail i am not disappointed because i didnt really try... I also think i am afraid of my own potential. another reason is that i havent struggled much in my life. So when something needs more effort i dont put much energy into it.
To give you some examples. I play guitar. I usually practice a piece a couple of times and then i can play it. And there was one piece, it wasnt so difficult but for some reason i couldnt play it.. so i would just skip it without practicing harder. Ironically it was my favorite piece.. and i still wouldnt get into it and try to practice and at the same time i was pissed at my self that i couldnt play it. And one day it hitted me.. that i have to put more effort and it doesnt matter if i still dont manage to play it. it sounds funny to say that i wouldnt realise this simple thing. And it took me a long time until i managed to play that piece.
Another thing i see is the way i approached studying while i was in Uni. I was staying all night awake to start and finish the assignment. I didnt have time to reread it and correct my mistakes. And i was happy with the grade i would get because i didnt try hard and i didnt have time.. so it was okk if it wasnt the highest mark i could get. And i now know that if i tried more i could get a first class degree. But i didnt. And i was telling to my self that i didnt care about law or the grades. But didnt i? or that i was bored with the subjects but was i? well i was definitely bored with some but not all. I knew that i could get a high mark but still i wasnt trying to get one.
There are two reasons i think. One i know i can be very good as a lawyer but i am afraid of diving into it and that i may be good and two, if i try i dont accept that i may fail.. Its like failure is not an option for me but because it may happen i dont commit to something.. Wow i didnt know i was that proud :p I remember one time i went to a math competition. i did horribly in that competition. After that and up until i graduated high school i was happy if i could get 10 out of 20 in the tests. :p It was like everything was blocked.
And its strange because i am very proud and i know that in some things i can be good but at the same time i dont believe in my self. Hows that possible?
I see that in walking the spiritual path. I am never sure of what i feel or i dont believe i can listen to my soul. i dont believe in my instinct etc.. And i think because i am afraid of failing because i am not 'good'and at the same time i know i can do it, i dont commit 100% to it. does it make any sense?? :p

hugs
Vaso

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When I saw your cabin on friday I immediately felt the 'you' behind the cabin. Your energy is shining through from every part of it.
Well done :-)

Sandra

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I'm loving this song at the moment. What an awesome video (like) :)

Dave

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I certainly recognise the striving for perfection one :wink:

As you know, there's always a truth in it - the soul yearning for evolution.

The cabin looks awesome - can't wait for the pictures.

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Over the past couple of months I have been renovating the portacabin I live in, situated amongst the birds, bees and trees, in our magical garden here in Glastonbury. Those of you have that attended any workshops here, will know it well.

It's taken me on quite a journey to which is almost complete. So many twists and turns and dead ends, much to be contemplated and wondered. I am so grateful for the lessons that have come along, as I have weaved my merry and not so merry way along. One big one that I felt to share with you was my confrontation and understanding of perfectionism. The thing is, I like preciseness, exact amounts, things to be exactly right. What I was finding was quite often, when I was measuring something or cutting a piece of board or something like that, I was finding I was getting tight in my body. "Why is this?" I asked many times, until it became clear enough for me to see. My striving for exactness was strangling the very essence of my soul, the essence yearning to express through all that I am and do. My desire for 3rd dimensional precision was leaving little space for my soul to come through. As I observed and surrendered I managed to let go enough as to allow my soul to lead the way. My mind often laughed at how things would turn out, but the feelings of right action grew ever stronger, I even started making cuts by not even measuring and you know what, they were just right and even if they weren't seemingly perfect, it didn't matter, as a part of me was being born into what I was doing. I was sharing my soul and it was shining back to me, a truly beautiful unfolding.

Well, writing that has been fun, a journey in itself!. That was about the fifth revision, I think and I have been writing for well over two hours, but man, well worth it.
If any of you would like to share whats going on for you at the moment I would love to hear, I will see if I can post some pictures of my cabin and share the journey with you.

night, night
David