Which Ascension Gateway are you in?

Here is a brief summary of the five key expansions of consciousness - the 5GATEWAYS - that occur on the Journey of Enlightenment and Ascension... Which Gateway are you in? The 5GATEWAYS movie offers a deeper insight...click here The 5GATEWAYS book offers many tools, tips and advice for recognising what Gateway you are in, and how to progress through them...5GATEWAYS Book

  • Gateway 1:"Awakening": you directly sense the interconnectedness of all life and know that what effects one effects all. The intensity of experience through the five senses will have made a dramatic leap, as though the 'volume' was suddenly increased. You're connecting with the magic of the soul and beginning to experience life through it. You start to feel an at-one-ment with all life - a compassion and love for other sentient beings.
  • Gateway 2:"Realignment": as you increasingly tune into the interconnectedness and joy of life, your soul begins to infuse within you, until a profound change happens: the soul takes over from the ego and assumes supreme leadership in your life. There's a sense of always yearning to come from the higher choices, the higher truth, in every moment, in every thing that you do.
  • Gateway 3:"Transfiguration": the path of the soul leads you on a journey of inner purification, which can last many years. Progressively it takes you to a dramatic shift in perception from identification with the personality to being the Seer expressed as the soul. This is preceded by a full kundalini activation, where lower and higher self are united as one - it's experienced as a powerful and liberational energy rising up the spine into the pineal gland (the Third Eye). You now live life as 'the One', the Seer of all things.
  • Gateway 4:"Enlightenment": this is the passage through your past life karma, where aspects of the soul have identified with traumatic circumstances in previous incarnations - how you passed on for example. As your soul unfolds into the causal body, you activate your karma in waves. It impacts your daily life and relationships - you live elements of your past lives through the current moment. You're being invited to reintegrate those lost fragments of soul, bathe in your karma and release it. It ultimately leads to your Enlightenment: being the Seer, expressing freely as the soul through life without attachment.
  • Gateway 5:"Resurrection" - we don't just have one bodily vehicle of expression, but seven, each of which is connected through a main chakra. As the full energy of the soul is unleashed and flowing freely through you, your seven bodily vehicles of expression are finally cleansed, reactivated and re-energised. You unfold into multi-dimensional living. You are now 'ascended', living in the Higher Paradigm, here and now.

What is your experience? Do share below...

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Hello all...

I have watched the video 4 times completely and gateway 1 and 2 6 times or so...lol...read the Divinicus book and now reading the 5 gateways book and I stopped reading the 5 gateways book after gateway 2 'the realignment'. I was no longer able to really resonate in parts of gateway 2, gateway 1, I resonate well, some of gateway 2 but near the end of gateway 2 no longer, I do understand it intellectually but my experiences can only resonate with gateway 1 and 2, there is so much great information and tools to help catalyze in gateway 1 and 2 I am re-reading these again! :)

Hi all,
Although there are a lot of aspects of gateway 3 happening in my life right now, I believe I am transitioning Gateway 2. I had my awakening at university no doubt. And my life has changed at such a rapid pace since then, I seem to be having 'initiation'-like experiences all the time. I have also made many mini-comittments to follow my soul in previous years, but now, after the recent 5-gateways workshop, I am fully-committed without doubt.

I've noticed that many people experience the leaving of a relationship in Gateway 2. I don't believe this is my path, although I'd like to share in order to gain full clarity on this. I am currently in a relationship and have a daughter plus a son on the way. My partner is an atheist, with a complete belief that there is no god or divine purpose. This means that she really doesn't understand my spiritual side. However, she has said that she is completely fine with it even if she doesn't understand it, she would always want me to be me. I certainly feel that this is the truth at the moment. I also feel that both with her and her family and with my daughter, there are many learning opportunities and karma to process. So, although we are really miles apart in our spiritual views, there is harmony in most other aspects of our lives. I still feel a pull to stay together.
What other examples of ceremonies are there, especially for gateway 2? Sometimes I feel like my whole life is an initiation.

Much love, Richard

Hey Zac, so great to hear from you, thanks for the sharing and thanks for the blessing *OK*

When one becomes selfless, by stepping truly onto the path, that's when the real magic kicks in. Those in the higher realms begin to trust you and so then begin to support what you do.

Watch now for your own higher 'ashram'. They are drawing close.

Best wishes


A new chapter opens for me and as described it was marked with a ceremony. As the internal shifted so has the external.
Its is my calling at this time and I needed to create the space to hear it.
I now reconnect with an ancient celtic aspect of my soul I never knew existed and enter the realms of white magic.
As I now commit to this aspect as I intuit I must I thank openhand for adding to my toolkit as well as sharpening the tools I had already established.
I wish you continued success with your endeavours.

By the laws of three by three I send these words with love to thee.
No matter what challenges this life may bring the celtic goddess within me still sings.
Peace and love

this reminds me of my favorite poem by Guillaume Apollinaire. 'Come to the edge' he said, they said'we are afraid'. 'Come to the edge' he said. They came,he pushed them and they flew.xx

Thank you Open... : ) I look forward to the oppertunity that awaits this new path! If I know myself it will present some immediate challenges as I have always had a problem with giving up control, but I feel so up to the challenge at the moment I feel invincible... lol : )

There is no loger safe!
Safe becomes flying.

Love this!!!! * arrow pointing up*

Then remember: you will be brought right to the cliff edge and be invited to jump, not knowing if you can fly, nor if there will be a safe space to land.
There is no longer safe!
That becomes flying.


The introduction and knowledge gained to and through this website has brought me through gateway 1 and I now sit in the waiting room ready to begin gateway 2. Awesome! : )

Thankyou for allowing a space to share the experience.
Its beyond words.
With a sense of enjoyment does my mind surrender in disbelief with every attempt to comprehend.
It's too late.
The experience was real. Pre-eminate.

Perhaps in another time we may use a different form of language which transfers a greater sense of the experience. Perhaps on another level we already have.
All I am certain of is anything is possible.

Sounds awesome Zac - thrilled for you.
I was especially moved and resonated with the description in the 'third person' - or rather lack of person. There is no one here!


To reconnect I had to disconnect.

As I was lead onward it became apparent what this concept of "ego" was trying to make me understand.
I am not me?
I was shown the birth of self awareness.
The introduction of a catalyst enabling access to a higher spacial dimension. An aspect of the personality (identify & protect) unleashed into this mysterious space.
Identify and protect it did.
First it claimed was the short lived self awareness. The sense of self was purloined and our slavery pursued.
It was not long before it found the flow and the rest is human history.

Maintaining awareness of this understanding another presence soon became apparent. An inner child belief re: ghosts was next on the agenda and as a result no judgement was passed on this unknown but tangible presence of an other. Characteristics and influence was observed and the possibility of a partnership was evident. Its fearless, stylish, heroic, legendary, unstoppable nature was undeniable.

Silence fell as the possibility and existence of a soul was experienced.

From the invisible unknown within an outpouring bleed against my chest. Impeded from proceeding it dammed at my core welling within with great force it pushed and pushed, flooding my being.
Resisting temptation to break connection with the moment the dam burst. Permeating my senses the sensation evaporated into clear lightness.

That night the moon shone magnificently bright at the centre of a massive perfect cirlce from which whispy clouds covered the sky.

In solitude I starred in awe skyward, but I was not alone. The moment was shared with my new found partner and without words we both knew what it meant...

Having read / skimmed this vast thread, I was coming to the conclusion I was maybe still at gateway 1 (having previously thought I was in 2) but then I went to the back door to get some fresh air and my attention was drawn to 2 birds at the top of a tree, and a further 2 flew overhead. Nice. (not that 2&2 make 4 here, just a confirmation of 2!).
Good to get feedback from nature as I have been making changes to the family's food supply (driving them all crazy with the 'organic' thing) and trying to avoid GM in their meat etc, and generally trying to follow the guidance for raising our vibration. My progression is barely perceptible on a day-to-day basis so I am comforted by my 2 little birds that I am on the right path.
Also, it felt good to get this synchronious message at a time when I have been much more focused on preparing for my upcoming birthing of a new soul rather than on focused attention to my own soul.
WIth love and blessings to all,

Thank you, for your down-to-earth response. On a basic level I "knew" the answer, but it does help to hear a re-affirming perspective from beyond that mishmash that goes on in my own head sometimes. And the process goes on...


Hi Snowfire,

My observation of kundalini is that when it activates, is that it tends to be powerful, often earth shattering. But once it activates, we integrate the experience and normalise in it. Which means we're now acting with kundalini flowing through us and creativity happens in alignment with the universe. So once you've had some big shifts, it normalises.

And yes, we can be experiencing past life karma (associated with the 4th Density/4th Gateway) even though we're still moving through Gateway 3 - it's to do with the fact that we're multi-dimensional beings.

So it would seem kundalini is already quite active for you. And if karma is coming up and you're working through it, then I'd say you're doing pretty much the right thing. It's just a case of progressively working through it, confronting what's presenting itself.

Best wishes


Just briefly, I can say I have transitioned Gateway 1 and am well seated in Gateway 2. I am beginning to experience a "quickening" of Gateway 3 and must admit I am a bit apprehensive. Not to the point of dread. Just a subtle sense of anxiety, a precursor to change, mixed with excitement.

In reply to by Snowfire

The more I contemplated where I am in the process the more comfortable I became with a sense of transition. I was expecting a definite demarcation of "arrival" into Gateway 3. But it seems to have just gently transformed and I am amazed at how much of Gateway 3 I have already naturally processed and accepted. I feel tuned in and aware. I am sorting through and facing my inner panorama of experiences. Accelerated healing and understanding have opened.

My question is does Kundalini Activation ALWAYS express as a super-charged, explosive load? Or might it also present as a natural, flowing experience? I ask this because I am also truly immersed in "confronting past-life karma" and "dissolving shadow-identities" and have been for a very long time. These I understand to be a Gateway 4 attribute, but are strongly influencing my experience right now.

I understand the concept that one can experience essences of multiple gateways at once and each journey is unique. I accept that my experience is what it is and as it should be for me. But I find myself wasting energy waiting for the so-called Kundalini Activation. It's not an obsession with me, just a nagging little awareness. An annoying twinge of "lack." A slight doubt that I "can't" or "shouldn't" be where I am without "properly" following the "rules." I know that sounds silly in the whole scheme of things, but that's my conditioning and I am trying to work through it. This idea of needing "permission" is totally against my natural instinct to just go with it. A remnant of attachment to be softened?

I seem to just be rambling on, caught in a pattern of circular reasoning and will exit this post ungracefully. Maybe someone out there can pick up on where my dissonance lies and help bring clarity. Maybe it will just work itself out. Anyway, here goes with the dreaded Save Button of commitment...

Hi Stephen,

Yes I totally understand - the Five Gateways routemap is kind of like a framework really. Each person's journey is totally unique. Yet within that, it's possible to use the framework to intuit where we're at, what's going on and why. So at first sight, it can be easy to confuse.

There are tell tale signs however. When someone is transfigured, they are essentially in an enlightened state most of the time. It feels like 'there is no one here'. The point of identity that was the ego, has exploded so that beingness is experienced as everywhere. There is pure presence.

In this state, the concept of choice has changed too. There is no longer choice because there is no one choosing. There's simply alignment and attunement of the soul to what's going on.

At the Gateway 3 stage, this enlightened state is complicated however by the presence of shadow identities. These are subtle karmic filters which tend to explode every now and then (sometimes in waves) as regressions kick off. Each regression is ultimately dissolved leading continually back to the enlightened state until one day "bingo", all shadows have gone, there's a knowing of that and a knowing of Enlightenment. It is unequivocal.

You said, 'So unless you've experienced several years of intense karmic processing, it's unlikely you've passed through Gateway 4'. I experienced pre-awakeningS about 15 years ago and a couple of years later it stuck and life transformed - impossible to go back. I lived the joy of that for about 3 or 4 years while also noticing the shadow that had been created. Eventually a shadow engulfed my life again and that was a complicated one to get out of. It took about another three years to start the getting out - the question that instigated getting out of it was 'live or not live?' I became more present again. I was in the desert, lost, alone, present and happy to be there. I was there for about 2 or 3 years. Then came kundalini awakening, intensely transforming with lots of shadows - after five years of living what was to come after that I confronted myself to do what I was afraid to do. I studied, changed home, started a small business, reconnected with family and intergrated in to society - it all felt quiet ordinary. You can see how I'm identifying with the gateways and I would understand the karmic confrontation as the following five years after the kundalini awakening - but I'm not enlightened. :-)

Plenty there to reflect on. What struck me most was that you said at gateway four you are enlightened and I don't consider myself to be. Finding the doc. and website has been stimulating and I feel my questions have been answered. I wouldn't be bothered if I was actually at gateway one or two and that could be the case but I'm quiet happy where I am and I'm looking forward to what's just around the corner.

Thank you so much for writing and to everyone else.

I have artwork I would would like to share. It was one way I used to reflect and express. I'll try to upload them in another post if that's ok. It would be nice to share.

Thanks again.


Hi Stephen, great to hear from you, welcome to Openhandweb.

I'm glad the Five Gateways routemap has resonated - many have said that. Yes indeed, there is a strong tendency to overestimate where one might be (and I'm not saying you have! Just picking up on the point you made). Previously, these Gateways have taken lifetimes to transcend. It is only now, due to the catalytic nature of our environment, that things are being speeded up.

In the past, to have transcended Gateway 4, would have been the realm of the 'Spiritual Masters' only, such as the Buddha or Jesus. But I am now witnessing 'ordinary people' (of course there is no ordinary!) also making this profound journey, which is wonderful and magical to behold.

But we need to be completely honest with ourselves too. Otherwise we lead ourselves astray into some illusionary state. This pathway is utterly shattering, utterly life changing. It strips apart every thread of identity that might exist. It is not an easy one to be under-estimated. It will test you to the very limit of your being and then, take you deeper still.

The Gateways are multi-dimensional, their transcendance being the progressive release of identification with each dimension. This is how Ascension works. So first you might confront the very nature of existence, which would be to work through physical identification with the first dimension. Then it might be emotional attachment within the second dimension and so on.

The complication is that the dimensions all overlap in the same space and time. So sometimes we might end up processing the karma of the fourth dimension for example, even though we're only in Gateway 2. I observe a few people in the Openhand community genuinely going through Gateway 4 now. It is utterly earth shattering for them: years of continual confrontation with karmic past life regressions that can be deeply traumatic. Except by the time they've reached this Gateway, they've learned how to efficiently process the negative energy that arises. When you consider the trauma of the human journey over the eons, it is no wonder there's such a bottling up of this karmic energy, hence the need for this rigorous and stringent processing.

There are very few people on the planet right now who've actually done this. Many of the so called 'masters' out there teaching spiritual evolution are mostly in a state of denial about shadow identities - there's a disassociation with their baggage - the 'non-duality' movement is a prime example of this: a tendency to 'drop the hot coals' but before the heat is truly felt and integrated.

So unless you've experienced several years of intense karmic processing, it's unlikely you've passed through Gateway 4.

Often what happens, is that there's a pre-Awakening phase (which people confuse with awakening) where the soul is touched for the first time. It can be so magical, sometimes people think they've become suddenly enlightened. It's then often followed by a seeking phase of the spiritual aspirant, trying to regain that previously elevated state. They may have had a taste of profound bliss in meditation for example. But then the state quickly disappears. This 'spiritual aspirancy' phase is often confused with Walking the Path (Gateway 2). When awakening finally happens, it's then confused with The Transfiguration (Gateway 3).

To be truly walking the spiritual path, means that no choice is made without direct interaction with the soul - a constant conscious choice, even if that choice was to lead to ones death. So strong is the sense of pull of the soul.
When one is enlightened (Gateway 4), there is no longer identification with daily life - there's full engagement, but no identification. Choices are no longer made within the mind, they happen as a flow aligned with the universe, moment by moment.

So yes, the journey can be a touch confusing. That's the power of the Five Gateways routemap though, that's what it's for. It can show someone the influences they're experiencing and how to catalyse their next step.

Open *OK*

Hi Stephen,

Maybe you came across the documentary and website as a resource to accompany you on your future journey, to dip into as feels right and participate in where appropriate.

As I become more familiar with the work it revealed things on deeper and deeper levels. As my consciousness changed, so I became more able to find new insights and resonances. I never strived to get through a gateway, I just diligently applied the tools. Patience and application were key.

If you sit with this new resource and turn to it as frequently as feels right, eventually you will find the clarity to know where you are - if it matters.

Warm wishes,

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I very recently came across the documentary and I was surprised to identify with the journeys. Not that I didn't imagine other people on their journeys with perhaps some similar experiences but I just didn't expect so many common specifics and generalisations. So firstly I would like to say to all of you on your journey that it's nice to know you have lived in touch with what is real, although it may have only been fleeting and that I know you have been courageous.

One lesson that I have learnt is not to look outside for answers so you can imagine I am a little hesitant to ask my question here.

I started my journey sixteen years ago. I won't go into details just yet. From watching the documentary and using its identifiers of experience I would say I have recently passed through the fourth gateway. Although this was not how I measured my experience and may not be how I will identify it in the future. If I do I would eventually drop the concept of gateways as I have dropped my own concepts of what I have been living but for the sake of communication in the forum I will call them gateways.

So, I concluded I went through a fourth gateway but then reading the forum there was some speculation about overestimating which gateway you have actually passed through and with all the paradoxes of being more enlightened and creating a shadow, well, in terms of gateways one doesn't know where one stands!

To be honest, I'm just not very concerned with being enlightened any more. That's not to say I want the natural process to stop.

Thanks for reading and it would be nice to have a chat.


I'd like thank you first for all the work you have done here. As I have not read the book, I have found lots of info here.

As for what Gateway I am in is at 3.
I have dealt with the 'runaway' stage...divorced from a 36 yr marriage that was blocking my spiritual path. I have passed thru lots of pain from attachment, went thru intense loneliness.
Now I feel like I am an observer...just being and observing everyone, sometimes even their drama or the outcome cause it all is in divine order cause they too are going thru the what needs to be. I definitely do not care what others think...or don't fit in with the tribe. (Just trying to make a long story short).

Anyway little over a year ago I had a Kundalini activation...which has been quite a ride and has been like full speed ahead and is not slowing down. Sometimes I wonder is there an end but then no there is always one more step to the next. I have not though, experienced any past-life regression...but I do know that I am healing past-life karma...this is where I am at now. Plus now I have the ability to do energy healing with my hands...I get heat in my hands and I have this inner knowing to do this.

Also this realization...I have felt that...you realize that you know what you already knew...you knew it all along but one has to realize to know. This is hard to explain...one has to experience this. Though maybe I could say that I am at a stage of feeling-realization or just getting past that...most of the time I am just present...at peace.

Now earlier you were talking about being a "Star Soul"...where can I find more info on this...it was like a "hit" there...this inner knowing that was me. I have dealt alot with being an empath....but all through my life I also have dealt with feeling different...I used to wonder who my real parents were, just stuff like that. Please I would like to know more on this.

What is the purpose of Star Souls incarnating here?

Firstly let me say thankyou for writing Five Gateways: our journey to ascension. This book has helped and inspired me profoundly. Every word not only resonates with truth it is writtten in a practical way which I can relate to and utilise. I especially appreciate your specific tips for each transition.
I can now say I am through Gate 2.
I felt the shift almost as significant as Gate 1.
A great weight/tightness lifted in that moment and I sunk into the moment like never before.
Now tuning my senses for so many years helps me find the pull rarther than find the moment.
Life is an adventure, now its exciting letting go of control.
Im am now the master of my circumstances.
I am starting to realise if the external is my reflection I am the master of my external. I am the the creator of every circumstance.
I am the creator.
I am starting to not think I am the source rarther experience it.
I've shed my ego to be confronted now with ocd traits and fear in general.
Eternally grateful for you guidance.
Much Love

You're right, I may be at the first gateway also. Im not familiar enough with the concept here to be sure. Theres so many new meanings I have never given a thought on them. I have to study it more. But afterall I dont mind where Im exactly, I just want to grow to be a better person and know how to live right for me and everything around us.

About making choises: I try to make the right choises, ofcourse. They are no more guided by me, but by the the pull that I have towards them. I mentioned my studies and there the shift went so that before I wanted to study because of the possible title and achievements. I sure had good intentions to make the world a bit better place by doing the best I could intellectually. Now the reason for studies have changed to a feeling of a pull towards the studies. I feel its the right thing to do, no matter where it finally leads. I also have hobbies where I had goals and during last year I dropped the goals out of them and im just enjoying the moments I have with them.

Anyway, this is all new to me and I have to be tested in many situations to be sure.


Hi, everyone!

Interesting stories that clears my mind more on this issue.
I've never felt myself spiritual but I can see what these gateways mean.

I've been going through these prosesses as long as I can remember. I've been outsider and observer most of my life and since I was child i remember seeing people doing wrong and hurt each other because of their egos and immediate needs. Theres always been an idealistic world and the world where people really live. This troubled me a long time and somewhere at age 16-18 I felt and concluded intellectually that there was no meaning for anything. Social norms and society was mostly based on a structure that had built over times of history. Its all Illusions of minds and people seemed to enjoy things I did have no value in.

For some time I wanted to leave society but couldnt find a way for it. So I integrated myself back to social norms. I didnt feel any better, cos I couldnt forget what I had felt and thought, but externally I did quite well despite of it. Inside I was building a base for a huge anxiousness and depression. I simply couldnt combine my internal world with the outside world.

Finally I was at the edge of ending my life and when I saw the real possibility to end my life, I burst to a laughter. I now cut the dependance on the social/society game I see all around. No need to take that game/play so seriously.

I still couldnt find a satisfying career or place in the world. I just drifted pointlessly almost a decade. Since 2007 I've been more and more interested whats going on in the world. 2008 I finally knew I was going wrong way and few years ago started studying social sciences. This spring I lost my believe in my path and had tremendous existential crisis again.

Now when I've felt content for few weeks, I realize I was studying because my egoistic goals and that it wasnt a good base. I had based my world mostly on logic and reasoning. Now at the end of my last crisis I burst into tears thinking about the world again. I realized that my path couldnt be based on my ego. All this I had known for long but I didnt do it right for my self. My studies are no long for myself but for everyone and everything. I've been bursting to tears during last few weeks more that I had during the decade before it.

How does it sound? I dont know if going through gateways needs an understanding about them or the concepts of the soul or karma. I just saw similarities with this program and the ascention of my inner world during my lifetime.

Above is just the short story of my changes and maybe something big was forget out of it. Anyway I think I just passed the second gateway if possible. Sure I understand the needs of the other gateways too but I cant honestly say Im through any other of them. First one I believe went through somewhere in puberty.


I am observing the same pattern as described. It anyway fits what I was and am going through.

Getting into the body usually begins to stir things, and sometimes it is just too much.

Possibly earth souls have developed tricks how to suppress, numb or just be with these things, but this physical experience is a big challenge for me.

I recently began to contemplate that I myself might 'invent' interruptions (of any kind) to keep myself out of the body. So I changed the tactics. I don't deal with the interruptions at all. Instead I find ways to connect more and go inside even if I am very afraid. Then everything else is just falling away, like a mirage, a dream or some kind of a joke. I really feel as if it is all just a game, so when things get tough I work not to lose this feeling.


i have tears in my with gratitude for reading this

as you were writing this i was laying here on my bed feeling some incredible "healing" energy.

i recognise what you are speaking about but i don't understand it all completely yet.

but thankyou to you, to me for accepting and to everything in the universe and especially those very special energies that just visited me

will write more later


Hi Amber,

Thanks for sharing - I distinctly remember the process that happens to you from the Five Gateways course you came on. I should also say that the Five Gateways is a roadmap - a model - and that each will have their own journey in relation to that.

It was (and is) clear to me that you are a 'star soul'. That you've incarnated here from elsewhere in the cosmos. As such the 'rules' can be slightly different. Although the road-map still applies in essence.

What I've observed in a number of star souls is that they tend to be quite awake right from the beginning of their incarnation. And they tend to have difficulty embodying. So their centre of consciousness tends to be in the balloon I described above the crown. And their journey is to infuse down into the body. Whereas for other souls, the first part of the journey at least is the other way around.

A typical thing for such a soul, is that sometimes they'll be in the body, but just as soon as energetic disharmony happens, they'll pop straight up and out of the body - as is happening to you. Some star souls will appear very connected, but not at all grounded or embodied.

But something else is going on here too, which makes it even more complex. You actually provide the answer encoded in your own words (we always do - we just have to learn to intuit the code)...

  • "this thing can only be described as greyness that wants to go in thru my head"

The 'greyness' (the greys) your soul is referring to is Opposing Consciousness. They have created a kind of synthetic energy frequency within the field that feels sort of blissful and draws souls up and out of the body. There is a kind of magnetic attraction to it. It means they're more easily able to manipulate the being exactly because the soul is less embodied - less present. That's why it kind of feels good, let you also know that its not aligned and does not serve your journey.

So the question is "how to work with it?" Essentially the journey is still the same. It's about exploring the boundaries of your truth in every moment. Your key is to work to be comfortable with being here and present in all of your interactions - to embody but also to feel the boundaries so that you don't get overwhelmed. It will require constant attention and practice - exactly what is required to walk the path through Gateway 2. So now that you're aware of it, there's the invitation to keep right on doing it.

I would also question whether it is right for you to withdraw from society completely. Actually I'd say a regular connection to society and people within it would be a big part of this stage. That daily confrontation is likely to be of great service - although uncomfortable. This can also be balanced by time alone or in greater seclusion.

The path is not about avoiding what pushes our buttons - quite the opposite. It's about a thorough exploration of those situations.

I am wondering if anyone might be able to shed some light on this.

i would say im hovering around gateway 2 with spontaneous processing of karma happening occasionally.

One thing that i know needs to be brought to light for me, is that i get completely overwhelmed by what i feel is "other peoples" energy. As i am naturally empathic and the word boundary has no meaning to me, i easily tune to others vibration, regardless of whether i want to or not, which is very unempowering...i have shut down as much as i can, but even this dosent stop it.

The only coping method i have is solitude or to keep moving so i dont spend too long with people. While i can bounce back from some interactions ok, longer periods with some people that have lower vibrations, or even short periods with those with a dense vibration in them that i naturally pick up on, can completely exhaust me to the point where i feel like i will pass out.

If i am in a situation where i cant get away from this, a fuzzy haze comes over me like i am in a bubble of white noise (that is actually grey/dull orange), its not pleasant, its like a balloon of fuzz that sits above me, well, from my nose up actually, its about 1.5 metres high, it makes it very hard for my mind to function, i feel pressure outside my head pushing in on it, it wants to go in me, but i dont know how to let it out again.. it overwhelms me and although i can observe it, i have no idea what to do with it. If youve ever been in a sensory deprivation tank, its like i am in one of those ... it isnt pleasant but its not scary, sometimes tears will come up ...this thing can only be described as greyness that wants to go in thru my head

If anyone was at the walking the path course last november, this happened to me there and it renders me in a very odd state...i cant do much of anything, especially try and get my mind to form sentences and use my mouth to describe it! i just sit there blankly feeling overwhelmed and watching it....at the moment, the only tactic i have is to wait for it to pass...

I assume the only way to address this, is to bring it to light by going deep into this sense of complete and utter overwhelm in response to it. While this thing is not inside of me, my response of overwhelm is. I get that i need to surrender to something completely and let it eat me alive (whilst staying the observer) and hopefully i will come out the other end knowing that i am not it..

i think beyond the overwhelm there might be a sense of powerlessness ...im concerned the further i go into the response of overwhelm powerlessness and exhaustion, the stronger this cloud will be in its intensity and the more exhausted i will become and then it can overcome me.

chris wrote in the description of gateway 2

"There's the soul majority - the higher soul (loosely higher self) - like a huge balloon outside of the body 'above' the crown. The lower soul (loosely lower self) is fragmented within the body and therefore greatly diluted by the bodymind's activities and impulses".

This sounds similar to what i am witnessing too, so i am very confused...what if its my soul and im denying it, but what if its not my soul and i let this thing in me and it takes over!

im not sure if anyone will really be able to "answer" this email, but any info would be most helpful :)

Amen - these words bring much relief. Liberation is no easy journey. I find myself popping into churches to look into the eyes of Jesus (I'm not religious) - but I need that inspiration from his journey to maintain strength or just to carry on. Devotional aspects of myself have emerged through this. I will sit with this until I can let go. Peace, peace! - and heaps of thanks!

Thank you. It does feel just like you describe - I could fall to pieces at times with these agonizing pangs of aloneness - I trust the flow will direct me to confront this? Or can we put ourselves out there some how to allow for this? I'm not sure what you mean by 'experiential' - I do, but don't. I feel it now by own life situation, yet a higher connection still allows me to feel God/unity throughout - though in the faces of others I see my own pain and aloneness at times looking back at me. These are full on times. I pray that things level out.

Hi Katie,

It certainly sounds like you're going into heavy karma. That's exactly how people I've been working with experience it. For no apparent reason they're straight into dense, dark pain which can be totally gut wrenching.

It sounds to me as if you may also be confronting another key aspect of karma that everyone seems to go through and is spoken of by Lesley in the film - that is abandonment.

We spend life times completely immersed in the idea of separation. Even when we discover we're all one, there's still all the internal references to separation and to identity. When we move beyond that, most get lulled into the notion that the soul is who they are. And so there's still subtle perception of separation - there is this being and that being.

But in truth, there is only one being in the universe. At Gateway 4, the path leads people into the actual experience of there being only you. And the sense of aloneness that can come with that. There is no one else! You are all alone in the universe!

When you truly confront this, in an experiential way, it can be immensely challenging. It's the feeling Jesus confronted on the cross "why have you forsaken me father?" It is the being realising itself as one.

PS - great that Five Gateways is working for you and thanks so much for the kind words of support :wink:

In reply to by Open

wow, this one went really deep....
also made me shiver to the core.


Hi all, feel to write something here.

I first watched the 5 gateways about 6 months ago. I cried throughout most of it - it struck me in my heart. I didn't really know why, and couldn't pin point where I was specifically, it could have been 1 or 5 (LOL), really couldn't tell. A few months later my kundalini activated and since has been infusing in more and more intense ways. I wasn't meditating and didn't have any form of specific spiritual practice. The only thing I feel that happened - was that I allowed myself to open through the heart. Now, looking back the 5 gateways couldn't be more true in how I experienced the unraveling. It's not an airy fairy guide to how things might be - it's text book in my case - and continues to be.

I'm now in amongst processing karma - it's honestly no fun but the release of each layer brings an infusion of energy which burns through the pain. This happens spontaneously and I have suffered and resisted much to these infusions - to the point where I have said OK let me die (truly meant it!)- and surely enough at that point I surrender fully only to realise that which I cannot express in words. Just as the gateways suggests - the journey doesn't end there - the strange thing for me is that I experience oneness but at times feel more alone than ever. I'm finding much polarity in the process at the moment, is that usual?

I just feel to express that the 5 gateways really is a divine gift, there is much more to it than can be at first appreciated - it's something I think we can go back to and learn from in many different ways. When my kundalini awoke - it was far from love and light - I at least had some reference points though, so for me knowing that this was the opening of a gateway and not a mental condition was a huge relief. I urge people to re-watch it and read more - it's not mumbo jumbo - promise :-) Please have trust in your process, follow your heart, be open - what may seem like a gut wrenching ordeal may well be an intended opportunity for real growth? I realise now the ordeals I have been through were indeed written uniquely for my soul to free itself.....trust!

From the heart - Katie

Hi everyone,
This is the only thing in my life that makes sense anymore so Im going with it whatever that brings. Thankyou for been there! Ruthxx

Sometimes, something is captured in words so perfectly it just brings a great big grin to my face! What a great synopsis of the journey. I feel it represents deep understanding, gained from years of direct experience and enquiry. I don't see anyone else writing like this.

As you know I never could take an intellectual spiritual journey where I learnt all the theory. It was like listening to something that had nowhere to land in my awareness. But I resonated with the Openhand energy and knew everytime I tasted it, my awareness evolved, so I applied the tools you recommended and was just open to what would happen. Some years down the track, It's so awesomely satisfying to read something which I now know to be true, I just know it, as I have lived so much of it, the words now land like they have a receptor in my being that matches what they say. - Wonderful.

So to fellow journeyers, I say there's no bull**** here, this work does what it says on the can, it's dedicated to the Ascension of mankind. It's the stuff that's our birthright being given back to us.

Your part can be to dip in and skate on the surface or to face all your fears, let go of all your resistances, let go of everything that you think defines you, dive into the swirling waters and join the journey home.

We will each have our own way. Feel what holds you back, feel what you perceive you can't do without, challenge all your perceptions and release attachment. Sometimes it's huge things like leaving your home or leaving a relationship or job, sometimes its trying out things like living without a fridge, without hot water or without a car for a while, it releases attachment, makes you more appreciative of all the things you have and from your new perspective you can make new choices, maybe you can live in a better way, live more simply, take less, be more aligned with nature? Always with awareness and without rigid dogmas setting in. You can't make this journey in your head!

With love,
Lesley x

Yes you captured the Gateway 2 perfectly Ruth (and Lesley) - "a handover to the soul". :wink:

I felt I should share something from a biochemistry point of view that really captures what a Gateway is and the essence of what happens as we pass through them. Not only is this spiritual, but it's grounded in science too (although it's not rigid nor dogmatic). The main point we're addressing seams to be the confusion around people experiencing higher Gateways and therefore thinking they might be further along on the path than they are. Plus also experiencing multiple Gateways simultaneously. I'll do my best to shed further light...

From a scientific and spiritual point of view we're living in a reality composed of 11 dimensions. It's my direct experiential knowing that we each have aspects of ourselves in all 11, although in human form, it is only really possible to fully activate and experience 7 (there will be exceptions).

What is currently real for us is determined by where our centre of consciousness rests. For many that will be in the 1st Dimension (1st Density) - the plane of the physical. In this location, the soul is split into two and fragmented. There's the soul majority - the higher soul (loosely higher self) - like a huge balloon outside of the body 'above' the crown. The lower soul (loosely lower self) is fragmented within the body and therefore greatly diluted by the bodymind's activities and impulses.

Even though the majority of the soul rests 'above' the physical human experience, our reality is defined by that aspect of us which 'makes the loudest noise'. This is what draws our attention. Hence our centre of consciousness is drawn down into the lower self.

Now there is something called a 'pre-awakening'. This is where the lower self momentarily touches the higher self and receives a short burst of soul light. There's a sudden feeling of being connected and awake. But then the internal efforting to capture that essence paradoxically closes down the connection once more and the person may then spend many years chasing that experience again. There are many 'seekers' in the world who now have an intellectual understanding of awakeness based on a degree of experience but who are really still searching for a level 1 awakened state.

At some point there is sufficient surrender that fragments of soul within the lower self are released from attachment to the physical plane (1st Dimension) and then reconnect with the higher soul. There is a lasting physical connection felt as at-one-ment with all things. It can even be so powerful that we feel a constant sense of unity which is often confused as enlightenment. I observe many people writing about enlightenment from this level 1 awakened state which greatly confuses the story for other travelers.

So the physicality of Gateway 1 is the relinquishing of sufficient identity with the physical plane that a constant connection to the higher soul happens and remains. It is a linear progression with a definite 'completion'. And like with all such completions, the transition of ones centre of consciousness from one density to another will be quite strongly marked in some way. That's because our experienced reality is shaped by where our consciousness rests. If we've now moved up a frequency, then we'll experience a marked shift on the outside too. Which in turn would be marked by what I've called a 'ceremony' - a defining external experience. Others have written in the past of them as 'initiations'.

A person can stay in this place quite some time until the soul begins to reintegrate again internally within the lower self. But then the day comes when we start to listen to the direction of the soul. Not all the time, but with increasing frequency. As this happens, we start to engage with the inner world and the progressive realisation that the outer world is determined by our inner configuration of consciousness. The soul continues to reintegrate inside as the direct result of the increased inner inquiry.

There comes a point where enough of the soul has reintegrated, such that the impulses of the soul now take presidence over the ego. We could consider it a bit like an egg timer. The fragmented grains of soul gradually pour from the ego reuniting in the 'other vessel' until the balance switches definitely from one to the other. This is where attachment is relinquished to the emotional plane - Gateway 2. When the balance switches, it's often experienced as a rushing like wave of energy, often with floods of tears (which can last days or weeks). Again it is a very spiritual, yet also biochemical shift. Again there is a linear completion of experience. Our centre of consciousness has now shifted beyond attachment to the emotional plane and consequently there will be a marked external shift - like the breaking down of an important relationship for example (I should add then when I say 'beyond attachment to the emotional plane', I don't mean by denying the emotion. I mean going deeply into it and relinquishing identification with it - so to be able to experience emotional pain fully, but without attachment. Likewise emotional joy such as a blissful state).

Now our centre of consciousness moves into the plane of the lower intellect - Gateway 3. Here we're processing subconscious attachments to the 3rd Dimension. These are mental projections of illusionary realities created for us by the constant conditioning of society and our upbringing. That's why just as soon as someone transitions Gateway 2, the tendency is for them to have constant inner child and teenager confrontations.

Gateway 3 is very challenging. Essentially we're still acting as a separated self that perceives suffering and 'being done to'. So the reintegration of soul within the lower self generates flows directly into the density and distortion. It's like a roller coaster ride. One moment we're in the darkest depths, the next there's a release and we're riding high again. This process continues to peel away the layers until finally the ego dissolves completely ('ego' means where fragments of the soul identify with the separation and form an identity around it).

Once the ego completely dissolves, the lower soul reunites with the higher soul. Higher and lower self become one. There is no longer sense of separation. Whereas before we might have been asking questions of a divinity we perceived to be 'above us', no longer is this the case - we experience ourselves as that divinity. We have stepped out of the whole illusionary reality and become the Seer.

This is what's called "Transfiguration". I think there are very few out there who are truly transfigured. So far I've experienced a handful of people come through the Openhand work to that state. Again, it is a profoundly marked event when it happens. Again it is a linear, biochemical process, not to mention divinely beautiful!

At this point, the person is now open enough for the higher soul to infuse into the lower being. It starts to rush in, but as with all these transitions, the energy flows to densest environment. This happens because the 'loudest frequency' draws attention to it. And our reality is defined by where the centre of our attention rests. So next, our centre of consciousness is drawn into the karmic plane (the next vibration up). What's happened to the three people I've worked with who have progressed into Gateway 4, is a torrent of karmic regression.

This is not just the odd past life memory invoked within regression work. I'm speaking of the torrent of suffering humanity has endured through the eons of our history. It comes back to life in graphic detail and is played out within our consciousness in daily life. Often the experiences are projected outwards onto the people around us. It's like they become the characters in a play which we're now re-enacting.

This 'crucifixion' is likely to last several years and will likely be intensely challenging. It will bring you to the threshold of what you imagine is humanly possible to endure, and then take you beyond. But each decent into darkness is balanced by a counterbalancing breakthrough where the expansion and light experienced is simply breath taking. So even though intensely painful, it's a magical process too leading to full enlightenment - the end of identification with the illusion. From a biochemical sense, the soul no longer fragments at all within physical experience. There is complete inner integrity. There is no attachment nor identification.

Especially there is no denial of physical experience either. My observation is that some people achieve a kind of 'synthetic' state of enlightenment by subtly denying and then dissolving the quiet pull of the soul that might take them into a potentially challenging sense of separation once more. I observe this happening to many of the so called 'non-dualists'. I see this in a range of spiritual teachings from Tolle to Mooji.

Once karma has been fully dissolved, ones reality shifts yet again as the centre of consciousness ascends fully into the 5th Dimension. Now the soul is fully liberated from lower density attachment such that it can flood into the various bodily vehicles of expression. It comes with profound multi dimensional experiences as a way of life. We acquire gifts of beingness beyond human imagination.

So to reiterate, whilst each person will have aspects of their consciousness within the higher dimensions and therefore be experiencing these higher planes to varying degrees, there are still these marked 'ascensions' through each dimension as our centre of consciousness shifts higher which happens in a linear way. When we truly start to taste them, I believe we'll see they're pretty unmistakable. It's just that at this time in the collective journey, only a handful have consciously experienced Ascension into the 5th Dimension.

In reply to by Open

Good morning from America! I have been following your site for many months and decided today was the day I needed to join the forum. I am in a deep state of processing karma (though I do not believe I have fully emerged from Gateways 2 & 3 yet) and have been for the last several years. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to natural childbirth. It’s like these waves of agonizing contractions that rise up and engulf me in grief. Then I have a few hours or maybe a day of rest where I can go inside and hear my heart’s message, “Trust this process. Let it unfold as it needs to.” But then the next contraction begins and I’m lost in the pain again. It seems eternal. Anyone looking in at me would think I’ve gone insane, for the inner reaction I am having is completely out of proportion to what is going on externally. I am reaching out today to the openhand community in hopes of finding a light at the end of the tunnel. It has now been a full two years of this “birthing” process and I’m exhausted…mentally, physically and emotionally. There are times I feel like this might be my permanent state of existence because I still don’t see an end in sight. Yet, in my soul, I KNOW that at the end of this, there will be a new life. So, my question is, besides going into the pain and experiencing it fully, is there anything else I can do to process this? Do they make spiritual C-sections? At least I still have my sense of humor ☺ (I also have to mention, as I’m writing this, I just heard the plaintive howling of a coyote in the woods…it’s morning here in the suburbs and I have never heard that in my life.) Thank you for all you are doing in this world and beyond :)

Hi everyone,
Can I just comment here I think Lesley hit the nail on the head when she said there needs to be a handover to the soul. For me this embodies gateway 2 as for me the pull of my soul was very strong and I knew for me there was no going back. I knew my personality mind or ego did not want to make the changes I had to make, however I was not been fair to myself or anyone else if I didnt. I had changed so much that the old Ruth seemed to be a woman from another life. I had changed on the inside and that changed was been reflected on the outside, however it was still traumatic and painful. But I had to follow my truth which I believe was my soul. Hope this helps Ruth

Okay, so we've stirred up some silt - that can only be good. :wink:

I know this is difficult. It's especially difficult for me to bring into full context. I know it as the purpose of my incarnation. Maybe one day I'll find a better way of expressing!

Lesley has it bang on...

    It takes a massive commitment to make that realignment and all too frequently people are not willing to rock the boat of their comfort zone status quo.

Most people get an intellectual level taster of this to begin with. They peel away lots of layers. But there is no mistaking when the Realignment happens.

I remember only too well being with you Lesley when it happened for you. For me it was as clear as daylight and a perfect example. You'd been married for just one year. Your partner with a serious chest problem where any 'boat-rocking' could set off a terminal decline at any moment.

Yet you knew it was right to leave. The relationship was holding back the spiritual journey for you. We were up in Scotland at the time, running a course together when on the last day, just as this realisation was landing for you, our hosts cat dropped a dead robin in the hallway in front of your door.

The red breast was deeply significant. It would be the tester and the potential sacrifice. Could you still go through with it? Even if to do so might risk another dieing? What would others do reading this? Would the mind and the ego take over? In most cases yes.

How could the divine possibly want this from me? How would the divine risk the life of another in such a way? Yet this is all about empowerment, about freedom. It's about challenging the very nature of an illusion that might hold us back.

I have witnessed many presented with such Gateways and turn away. I don't blame them. I know it's challenging. But there comes a point when there is nothing else to do but to surrender all on the altar of higher truth, even if we're made to crawl down the isle on the way there.

So yes, we'll get tasters of the Gateways, but what I'm saying now to all reading, when you truly pass through such a ceremony, there is no mistaking. There is knowing. Then you'll know in your heart what I'm speaking of.

The Gateway ceremonies are definitely linear. We may get tasters of higher ones and it may appear as though the journey is spiraling and circling, but there's no mistaking a ceremony when it happens.

It moves you to the core.

Hi everybody!
I like Réka's idea of cycles very much. When I was reading the comments I started remembering myself as a child, and now that I'm 'on my way' (hopefully in the right direction) I kept on remembering everything I knew as a child. Now, I could very well believe that as a child I probably had gone further than I dare say, and now what I am doing is try to recover what I had lost. Do you think this can be possible?
I also have a question coming back and back, and for it I will have to tell a bit about myself. When I started my journey, I started having visions. At the beginning I saw only colours like in a whirlpool, after that symbols of different religions, (Christianism and Budhism), followed by seeing peoples illnesses. When I was trying to recover from these new things I had 'out of body' experiences, the first of which took me quite by surprise, because I had no idea what the hell was happening...! The list goes on with past lives and lately crowned by a beautiful 'death' experience, during which I felt just freedom and happiness, with no ties whatsoever, and no body. This may seem exciting and rare, but sometimes I don't like what I see (I guess not everything is beautiful and pure during Assension), though for some reason I need to know about the existence of it. My question is whether these experiences are connected merely to karma or go hand by hand with tresspassing different gateways? If the gift is given, there has to be a way of using it for the world's wellbeing. I would thank any comment or sugestion on HOW to help.
Thank you very much for sharing and please forgive me if I had gone too far with telling all this. I'm quite shivering now, it's the first time I've written about it !

Hi dear All,
what a thought provoking line of discussion! Thank YOU!

I am here now mostly to listen but there is one thing that kept coming to me while reading all these sharings.

To me, the idea of a linear procession of gateways is confusing, and it is not even true to my feelings of things... I sense things are more like dialectic, and go round and round, if not in circles, but at least in spirals... hence maybe the feeling of falling back, or reaching forward?

I really like Lesley talking about layers peeling off... I would go with that picture and add to it this spiralling ascent idea.

Maybe, when viewing it from this angle, the idea of which gateway almost does not even arise?

And one more:

Once during a birth preparation workshop we came to question how PAINFUL we expect/remember our labour. On a scale of 10, which number would describe best the extent of pain during labour?

At one point one of the ladies just shuffled the numbers on the floor and out of the line of numbers she created a circle of numbers where the numbers 10 and 0 came next to each other. She said that in her experience the biggest pain and and the most blissful pleasure during her labour were side to side, rather than far away from each other.

We came to see 0 really stands for Orgasm :-), so maybe Gateway 0 is actually a fun place to be? - ha-ha ;-)

I think of this story a lot - at all kinds of turns in my life.

But most of all what I (and I'm sure all of you guys here) try to focus on in births (and life) is the wave of energy, the Gush of Life that brings with itself all the 1-s and 5-s, and 0-s and 10-s, all pain and pleasure...

x x x

I would say of the many people I've met over the last 20 years who consider themselves to be journeying spiritually, very few have been through the second gateway. It takes a massive commitment to make that realignment and all too frequently people are not willing to rock the boat of their comfort zone status quo. So their spirituality remains a hobby rather than being their life, for the ego is still the pilot of the bodymind and there is no handover to the soul.

However people who do make this transition can easily mistake it for some way further down the tracks, because the 2nd gateway in itself is such a monumentous experiential ride.

And after that? Well then there's more..... and more...... and more..... all these layers that seem never ending and frequently seem such a big experience - wow, surely I must be through another gateway, er... actually no, just another layer peeled away! Yet such - intensity - of - experience!!! How can it be it seems? All these breathtaking moments that seem like mountains scaled, prisons released, darkness transposed to light. All that stuff that seems to take an age to transit to get to one of those breakthrough moments. Emotional, mental, karmic. So much.

I don't think my journey has had the clarity of yours Chris. I seem to have spent most of my time confused and questionning! But as for seeing the gateways clearly, yes I can in retrospect.

I feel its really valuable to mention Jesus and the Buddha for bringing some sense of perspective to the journey being undertaken here. That we are finally waking up and following our paths feels like cause for great celebration to me. Lets also appreciate the profound depths of exploration and gargantuan journey of release we are travelling one step at a time.


x ,

Open, you say..
When one truly passes through Gateway 2, beyond the intellectual level, it's like anything could happen, the walls come caving in, yet there is no will for movement unless there's a knowing engagement with the soul. And this defines every moment and every choice that is made. It's a total commitment to truth.

Is this considered as a marking for the completion of the Gateway 2 transition? I've always thought in the past this would be regarded as the starting point of the Gateway 2 transition. I have experienced what you described many times since last year, yet each time I got pulled back into my conditionings and distractions again. It seems that I'm now transitioning Gateway 2.

It is so funny to me... I guess up till G3 most of us have no idea, ha?

Any piece of info is owned by ego/identities and confuses and confuses... so funny!

But it was when I saw that I am definitely NOT following my heart no matter what, despite obviously tasting this amazing state a year ago, and that I am still blocked by my fears and habits most of the time, that I stopped asking where I am at. It just doesn't matter to me anymore... until I know ;)

Hi Cody,

Sounds like your having some powerful experiences.
I would say from what you have shared here, and previously it is unlikely you are going through gateway 4. It is quite common to have other gateway experiences at earlier steps on the journey. If i had to call it I would say that it is more likely your around the 2nd gateway.


As I look through the comments, I noticed no one says that they are at gateway 5, or even 4, so naturally I would doubt if I personally would be at that gateway simply because of the tension created while thinking, "who will be the one to say it, and have others doubt them".

Well here is a brave step in "not doubting myself".

I feel, that all of my experiences as of late, completely relate to my perception of gateway 4.

As I felt I broke free, I get hit by life circumstance that brings up karma that hits me like a strong thunderbolt (literally that's what it felt like), to later come to the realization that: "Here it is, here is what is finally holding you back Cody.... your doubting yourself". That voice, that shadow that creeps in from its hiding place and holds on to me for dear life in tricky and masterful ways. Hehehehehe. You bastard!!

If I knew with ultimate certainty and without doubt that I could do anything, than I really could. That's beautiful, because its true.

Trusting in my true self, is the sweetest flow of letting go, it is the relaxed exalted and most natural state that opens up my heart and consciousness to infinity. Its the center of being that my ego was leading me towards by leading me away from it.

To integrate our natural state is... a dream come true.