I was robbed. Someone broke into my apartment neatly using some kind of wire and hook through the mail box to open the lock when I was away. I didn’t have much jewellery, some necklaces and bracelets, some rings, one which had belonged to my mother and my old wedding ring etc. - so they all are gone now. First I felt the shock, then all kind of fears, what if they come back and so on. Didn’t sleep much that night.
Then began the hard thinking, why? Why me? Was it some kind of karma? The distress was awful, why now while I’ve been really SO happy and full of light and making progress in energy work and keeping my mind in positive tracks. Why now? I meditated and recalled similar incidents, when life had been quite ordinary, peaceful and actually quite good and then suddenly something comes from Outside and everything falls into a deep ravine and void, into something black and odd. Something happens which is out of my control and shakes me out of my skin. Usually these incidents have been with near and dear, incidents with children, in marriage and with my own parents.
I realised that I have been carrying this fear of OUTSIDE force which can create pain in me. That something or someone outside of me make me suffer, especially mentally (physical pain is nothing compared to psychic pain). I realised that I just don’t want to feel that fear anymore at all. I’m fed up with that fear totally! That somehow the only way for me to cope is that I must integrate everything that happens in my life as an result of my inside force, that I’m the reason, I’m in charge, I take the responsibility. Somehow I have lured those incidents into my life which shake me totally out of balance although they appear to be happen out of the blue. I meditated through all these incidents and made peace with them.
Actually I really am sorry for the thief, I´m sorry that he got this nasty role in my life story and I mentally asked forgiveness from the bottom of my heart and send love to him.
I am stronger now, I’m not going to be victim of anything anymore, things happen, sad thefts, stupid accidents, near and dear can do things that hurt me, but somehow I am the one who is responsible. Nothing comes from “outside”, there is always a reason behind why it is in my life, and I don’t have to know it, but I have to make peace with it. To have peace in me with everything, I need to be free. Something good comes from everything. Also from this theft.