A new way of sharing =)

There is a structure
Built with words, thoughts, emotions, needs, perceptions
It has many rooms and many views
It has many colors, many coverings
It is very organized, very planned
Nothing comes in or goes out without the highest scrutiny
Security is top notch
Spontaneity does not live here
Passion is stomped out
Here love is not believed
Here love won't be received

Protection
None can come in
None can see in
Small and tight
Balled and out of sight

Sometimes
I live in there
And it hurts and I scream to come out
as I hold the door shut
no, maybe I will stay here

There is a voice outside the door
Come on! Come out! it says
You have so much to share
There is a strong and steady wave
and it is building and it is asking you
Will you ride it? Will you?
Will you step out of this place?

And this fire begins to burn
And I know I can't stay in there
And I know the house is burning
And I feel I am burning as well
Everything I think I am
Everything I wish I was
I am stepping forward
I am coming out
I will not live in this house anymore
Come what may

What is embarrassment? rejection?
What is a little awkward, or maybe a lot awkward?
What is a mistake?

And I am done being small
And I am done living small

Come what may
let it burn
and let that fire be the light
that guides my way

By, me =)

Comments

Synchronicity sure speaks fast sometimes =) My daughter had left some clay in the oven too long and burnt it a bit and filled the whole house with smoke. Then she brings me the piece after it cooled and it's me on a bridge... A tad well done =)

I love it. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing part of your soul here. It touches me deeply!
I love you my friend,
Kim

I can really feel it Jen.
Your words speak into my soul.
I'm there with you as 'the house burns down'!

Open *OK*

Beautiful poem jen, I too was touched with tears as read it. Love the synchronicity too :)

Thank you x

Jen, Your poem touches the deepest parts of me. Thank you for coming out and inspiring me to do the same. xxx Catherine

Wow you guys! It feels amazing to express what is bubbling up and springing to life and to really be received and felt by all of you beautiful friends. Your warm reception makes my heart SING! With love, Jen

I felt your words deeply with tears flowing <3

Thank you,

Maureen xo

Jen your poem triggered something deep within me. I feel like I could weep all night <3

Hi Maureen and Trinity <3... Wonderful to feel you here. Expressing the depth of feeling and having it met with knowing hearts is such pure joy. Lots of love to you!! Jen

Love what u wrote Jen ! i can totally resonnate with this . Deep inspiration to bring my own old house down , bit by bit . Much love

Just sharing a bit of the energy I am feeling the last few days

Heaviness, weight, crushing
Arms like lead - heart exploding
Eyes red and burning
Can't breathe
So tired
The denseness, the noise
Like a vibrating metallic shell
Encasing the soul
Banging and smashing against it
Tightens it more
Screaming inside - an unnamed torrential flood of rage
Nothing escapes now
Feeling the agitation as it vibrates inside and feels as though this body will crack into infinite pieces
Containing this energy as the waves rise inside
Breathing deeply and centering in the core of my being
Cautious not to misdirect this energy
A sweet little bird sings out above the heaviness... Then the sweet coo of a dove
How does this energy want to flow?
Feeling the intensity and yet dancing in the lightness
Watching how this fierce wave wants to flow...

Feels like kundalini building to me.
Keep tuning in and letting me know how it's shifting - you'll want to be around friends who understand when it goes.

Big hug

Open

In reply to by Open

Thank you Open for the support. It has all normalized now =)...not sure what I was feeling - there was a build up over days of intense awareness of compression and heaviness - tiredness and then an arising powerful rush that felt like it wanted to burst through the compression. <3

Hi Jen - I just checked in here and your comment caught my eye.

Yes isn't that it 'compression - explosion'. It used to remind me of that scene from the first original star wars film when they are caught in the trash compactor - and the walls start to close in on them. It helped me to allow 'the walls' to fully close in on me then the alchemy would begin and the density would dissolve. So just wanted to say I hear - and feel the rising in you too, much love.

Hey Katie! Great to connect with you here. Wow, that image is so precise - exactly the feeling!! And what you wrote here "It helped me to allow 'the walls' to fully close in on me then the alchemy would begin and the density would dissolve." A huge YES to that...I feel up to this point there has been a resistance to 'the squeeze'. I really appreciate your sharing, Thank you <3 with love, Jen

Just sharing a dream I had last night that has touched me so deeply... It feels so tangible and supportive.

I am jogging in my "work" clothes and there is a man in his 20s that has appeared recently twice in my dreams... Last time he asked me how old I was and he said he was "ten cent" ... No idea what that means. He is jogging in his work clothes as well... He has black kind of loose wavy hair which is grown out to his ears and he is relaxed and innocent feeling... Very light and effortless... Funny and open feeling. We are just naturally jogging alongside each other and it feels incredible... Just like being immersed in a deep feeling of home. He mentions that he just had lunch for $4 and then there are four other men, all the same size ahead of us also jogging in work clothes ... They are light and playful ... I never see their faces... They are calling me his girlfriend... Like playground teasing ... It is received as innocent. Now this man is on a bicycle and I am jogging alongside him... It surprises me that I can keep up but it is without any effort. I ask him where his home is as I feel I am going with him... I assume it is nearby but he says it is in Wyoming... Which is quite far from me. He "asks" his father (without words) about my journeying their with him and he relays to me that it will be a "3 all the way there" and that it is dangerous - that I may die. I see a river flowing uphill and know that it's this river that I must travel to reach him.

Powerful feeling dream...staying open to all it is speaking to... Perhaps more will land in the day...

This is funny... Just remembered that there is a place called Jenny Lake in Wyoming... I have never been but my parents went and brought me back the tshirt (like that old silly saying!)... Perhaps that's why Wyoming came up... Coming home to myself

Lovely story Jen - feels to me like a beautiful encounter with your Twin Flame. And of course and invitation. Maybe there's something to discover? I'd say at least embrace the feeling of adventure and see how that carries you.

I feel inspired for you!

Open *OK*

Thank you Open - yes I felt that too and it's interesting that you mention the feeling of adventure as that has been brewing in me lately. I have found myself drawn to crossing many bridges (literally and figuratively) that appear dangerous to me, or seem to have some sort of blockage on them that I can't get by...then I sit with it, the bridge, the blockage and feel for where that blockage is inside...relax, unwind, and go forth...I keep finding that the physical, visual blockage is then just nothing...like a mirage...all built up with sticks and mud and leaves, imposing looking but actually completely navigatable with attention and discernment. I have also found this sense of adventure invigorate me...draws me out of repetitive patterns - habits - inertia and enlivens me with a sense of purpose and capability, courage and playful spirit. =) with love and appreciation for the reflection, Jen