ocd = implants and imprints?

Hi,

I feel very ashamed about this ... but that will not stop me from posting...

Where to start?

I have read your recent article on WakeUpWorld, the one about removing implants and imprints from our field and found it very helpful and comforting. Thank you.

I have been suffering from ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder) for a very long time. The symptoms have been very complicated and I will not describe them in this post (I might later).
Shortly, it has been about being superstitious and feeling like I must perform rituals (repeat things) or say prayers or mantras to protect people etc.
Generally speaking, it has been very distressing, tightening and debilitating. I believe that such mental illesses are caused by implants.

For a long time I believed that it might be about spirit attachment (didn´t have much knowledge about implants). But this idea with implants makes much more sense in my case as I feel it like a part of my mind. Like something that has been deeply affecting my mental body.
I have faith that I am healing and recovering from that. It is a very slow process, though, and I believe that your article explained why – it has imprints and so I should be patient.

In the past I was to a psychologist and they couldn´t help me – send me to a medical doctor to get a prescription medication. I fortunatelly didn´t go there and didn´t take prescription drugs.
I focused on discovering what is beyond that and tried services of a few healers. Some of them pointed me in the right direction (for example said I had an opening in my field behind my head, or confirmed my feeling that there was something behind my ears...).
Removal of entities was only temporary, of course, bacause what is really needed is releasing the hook – the emotional reason that attracted entities / allowed any implants to be implanted.
In my case it is a tendency to worry. ... So I discovered that many symptoms of the ocd illness eleviated after I experienced my fear as bodily sensations (that is a way of a permanent release).
However, my problem seems to be being blocked to experiencing fear fully. And so I still do have some symptoms, especially getting false memories (for example that I said something I didn´t). Then I feel a lot of confusion and cannot think clearly.
I have realised that one of mistakes I have been doing is trying to „fix myself as quickly as possible“, „resolve those problems“ (when in reality there are none) – for example I try to remember what I said ... and then repeat the mantra or the prayer again – then I feel like a fool – and then have doubts again...

What I do now is I am focusing on being the witness, the observer. Just observing myself having those impulses, doubts, worries, and sometimes saying those prayers. Observing myself with compassion and patience (like: „ok, so I had this symptom again. It was just that illness and I am in the healing process.)

I have made a lot of research on that. It is known that also brain chemistry on the physical level is affected by that. So I care consciously about taking enough nutritiens that my nervous and immune system needs. I am also doing some things to detox (ocd might have been also the result of chemtrails . But I am not sure about that.)

I believe that deeper level is in our energy body. And primary root is in unhealed emotions (the hook) in the sufferer.

Regarding energy body, I have been feeling shifts behind my ears – of release and that is great. ... and another thing is my gallbladder meridian feels uncomfortable when I lie on it (it seems to be getting better now already too). And so I was searching some information about the maridian and found an article about gallbladder meridian being a place where implants can be implanted (if the person is weakened in a way). In the article they called it parasities.

On the physical level, I seem to have parasities as well. I eat quite a lot. That is so shameful .(especially when I feel a lot of tightness I use it as a way to comfort myself – or to numb myself – also because of other reasons, not just ocd.)
My diet is vegan, trying to eat enough fresh fruits, avoiding rafined sugar and wheat. However, I crave carbohydrates so I eat also millet, rise, potatos.

Once I completely understand what it has been about and heal myself fully, I might help people with similar diagnosis. Ocd can have many different forms. And I think that also many other mental illnesses are caused by implants/entities.

I have also other emotional issues that attract psychic attack to me. For example the lack of self-love (that is behind ocd as well), being perfectionist and and being too irritable .

I have listened to Trinity´s meditation on releasing the blind spots and found it helpful and comforting as well. Thank you.

I have been slowly gaining love of self, focusing on doing things I like, things that make me stop thinking and rather focus on feeling the present moment.
However, I often feel heavy, held back.

Do you have any experience with that? Also if you have any insights that could help me I will be very grateful.
Thank you for taking your time to read this post.

Namaste,

Natalia

Comments

Hi Natalia,

There's no need to feel ashamed - every single one of us has our 'stuff' or has had to come through it. It's good that you've had the courage to share - it's always the first step. Often people hold themselves in limitation simply because they're afraid to give voice to what they're experiencing.

Yes I have encountered, and worked with, people with similarly strong compulsive disorders. And it does sound very much as if there's a good deal of Opposing Consciousness Intervention - an energy coming in from the field which preys on excessive, compulsive emotion. Which ever way people see it, there something in the field all around us that works to attach people to conditioned behaviours.

Often there comes guilt and shame with these distorted behaviours. The key is to work to come from the place of the One - you are the One. The One exploded into being, and now unity consciousness - light - is working its way into the unconsciousness - into darkness. It is happening through all of us - we are each 'actors' in a universal 'game' of self-realisation. So it it not your fault. Work to step beyond that idea. Work to accept your situation totally as it is, without trying to change it....

When you can accept things as they are, I'd suggest looking for a centre in all of this - the sense of your soul - as a feeling. How much meditation do you do? Let this sense of centre - a feeling experience - become more what you identify with, rather than the thoughts, mind and ego.

Whatever is going on in the mind, work to connect with the sense of soul. The soul will begin to lead you right back into presence - into the One.

As you keep aligning with the soul, your behaviours will slowly, but surely, change. You'll begin to confront and unravel the patterning in mind and body. Over time, realignment will happen. Your thoughts and emotions will steadily come into line with your soul. Inner sovereignty strengthens, the intervention is steadily ejected from your being.

Have you read Five Gateways? I'd suggest it. It's all about the processes we can apply for aligning with the soul (find out more here... Five Gateways.

Wishing you well

Open

Hi Natalia

Its really great you felt to share here. I know its not easy.
I have experienced ocd like symptoms in the past, those combined with other energy 'imbalances' were very influential for me for a while. At least that's how it felt. and yes, 'O.C' were definitely involved.

I really concur with what Open said. I think its so important that you can accept and find yourself through it, perhaps through connecting through simple meditation, breathing, or what you enjoy doing, in conscious ways, and being the observer of yourself, and just watching those conditioning; til that feeling of soul begins to build and eventually you realise you don't need those distortions any more. Then you release it and whatever was holding it in place. It might be a gradual process.

For me a big part of those things was about control, and O.C played on that a lot. but ultimatley I realise its not possible. When I began to be more okay with the patterns while still just watching them, I found I could start to interrupt the patterns while I was doing them. that was a big thing too.
It feels like you've made a good start.

best wishes,

Ben

Thank you a lot, both of you, Open and Ben ;) Especially the „it´s not your fault“ statement brought tears of relief into my eyes ;)

After posting this thread I read Chris´ post on combating psychic attack and found it very resonating and helpful. I could relate to so much. Thank you a lot, Chris, for writing that. I will read that again because it is so helpful!

What has been trubling me very much is this strong pull to think over and over again (that is a very common symptom of ocd.) For example, trying to recall what I said. ... and there is a havoc in my head :(. I have noticed I hold my breath often.
So I focus on breathing and some yoga practice...

I believe that a way out of that is getting out of mind into the body, being the observer and bringing acceptance into any feeling. There are many places in my body that show held emotions. I am healing that all. There is a lot in my case. I feel unstable.

Today I feel quite sick in my stomach. Tightness in my solar plexus has been with me for a very long time. And also right under my left collar bone and on the left shoulder.
I heal that by letting Divine Love in (in the near future I will create a thread about what I mean by God and Divine Love and Truth as you wanted to discuss it earlier ;))

I have seen the most of your 5 Gateways movie and it is wonderful! Resonates a lot and it is very helpful for me in this time of my life (I´m not talking about ocd now).

Apart from „ocd“, recently I have become extremely sensitive to any distortions of the city life. I believe this is a part of my evolution.
My situation is sort of troubelsome as I live in noisy city, in a small flat with my birth family and I am constantly distracted :(. For example, when they turn the television on, I can hear it everywhere apart from my bedroom – which I share with my mum. She comes here often and so I cannot meditate here very much.... I feel fragmented.
However, what I can do is being the observer. That I can do always.  That is the way to rise above.
I enjoy going for walks with my doggie, along the river, touching trees... and also attending local yoga class with an excelent instructor. Few months ago I got to know her and I had never thought yoga can be so fun :)
I have been looking for opportunities to move. I haven´t found any yet, I guess that is because I needed to realise some things here, especially that I DO deserve to change my environment so that my soul can grow. But also repent for my past unloving behavior to my family, which is something I wasn´t even aware of for a long time. Now I am forgiving myself, realising that it isn´t even me when I catch myself yelling at my mum, for example.

Namaste

Natalia

You said about getting out of the mind into the body. That feels really positive; keeping bringing it back to embodied feeling. At the same time you mentioned being the observer. It might be worth looking at Jenny's current thread about that (http://www.openhandweb.org/node/7327). I just felt to reflect what she said about being the Observer IN the experience, not using it to distance yourself from feeling. Then again the experience might evolve into that, either is a good start. Vipassana meditation was also mentioned in that thread; have you considered something like that as a way of having space and time to connect more? People seem to get a lot from it. Of course the Openhand work goes incredibly deep when its right, and someone really resonates. As Open said it might be good to start with reading the book if you resonate with the approach.

best wishes

Ben