Transfiguration 2015 - The Aftermath

Dear Friends of Openhand,

I feel like sharing some of my experiences few days after the transfiguration retreat in Glastonbury. I miss you all and my heart is filled with gratitude to everyone that was a part of this out-of-this-world experience. I’m curious how you are feeling and perhaps there is something that other Openhanders will resonate with.

THE DAYS AFTER TRANSFIGURATION
I went to visit my parents right after leaving Glastonbury. I was curious to see if the forgiveness ritual really worked. I found that there is really nothing to forgive, there never was! It was all just an illusion and they are just a pair of souls that are doing their best to self realize. I knew that (in theory) before, but now I also feel it. I just watched the remaining distortions that activated in their presence and noticed my reactions. Also, my parents have some pictures of me in their home and I didn’t recognize myself on them. I was startled for few seconds that they had pictures of a stranger in their living room. I have changed, indeed.

During Transfiguration part of my personality (some automatic response programs and some identities) had vanished and I felt weird emptiness inside. I was advised to just let them be but had an urge to fill them up. So I created temporary programs for the identities that disappeared. But the real me is rolling in like a storm and ripping them apart fast. My heart feels warm now as I’m thinking this and I’m ready to receive my true self more fully. Bring it on!

FEELING THE ONENESS
I’m at a hotel restaurant in London as I write it, but I do not really have a geographic sense of location... I feel I’m kind of everywhere and a bit of everything. Few days ago I found myself with the same perception while walking along beautiful wheat fields on a sunny day. It felt so wonderful and touching. When I leaned agains a birch tree near the field, my heart opened wide, like a huge gate and the wind was gently blowing through it as it was blowing through the tree’s leaves. Was I part of the tree or was the tree a part of me? It doesn’t matter, I guess. Everything was intertwined and so perfect. I know that when I return home I’ll be spending more time in nature and feeling as one with it. I’m even toying with the idea of moving out of the city…

TWIN FLAME
The twin flame experiences continue to manifest. I’m trying to hold the perception that the manifestations are “only" reflections. It is not an easy task as the attachment can creep up fast and create the feeling of longing and loss. But that is ok too. It’s a part of being a human. Speaking of “human”… Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a human anymore, but a different being. Perhaps I’m only noticing the difference between how I am now and how I was before?

FEELING LOST, SOMETIMES
Yes, I am feeling lost sometimes with all that is happening. My brain is trying to rationalize it all and is going on overload sometimes as the concepts it knew before are not always working and the “impossible" is now becoming my daily bread. I’m gently feeling into the okeynes with whatever is happening and softening into the need to explain it all.

This is it from me. I hope you are all well.

Love,

Margaret

Comments

There is something very precious and heart warming in this sharing. It sounds as though you have, heart and soul, truly integrated the experiences of the week - what a transformative week that was!!!
See you in Victoria in November!

This is a wonderful sharing Margaret - awesome experience.
It's truly the one of someone leaving behind identity.
The way you write about the shifts of energy is so recognisable of a deep, internal alchemical process.

Keep it going! It will lead to a cosmic life!

Namaste

Open *OK*

Hey Margaret,

Thank you for a beautiful sharing, you are AWESOME! I love your description of your experience with the birch tree.

It's great that you say
I’m gently feeling into the okeynes with whatever is happening and softening into the need to explain it all.
Way to go... Bring it on indeed :dance:

With much love and deep respect, Fiona

Hi Margaret! Thank you for sharing your experience. I love your honesty and the way you express creates lovely images and feelings. So beautiful! Sending you lots of love! Jen

What a brave heart indeed. You know that if you want, you are not alone on your journey. You have family here.
I think it's ok to feel lost sometimes. I mean you lost a huge part of identity. All beginnings are endings; and endings become beginnings.

Thank you so much for sharing. Very inspiring!

with love
Oliver

What an amazing sharing Margaret. What stood out to me about you on the course is that even in the most painful moments, that was always a deeper twinkle in your eye, and of course a smile was never far away. And I get that feeling with your post - your experiences are amazing and a beacon to others who are/will be experiencing similar. Thank you

My own experiences have been a little different, but still interesting. When I first got back home, it felt a little overwhelming in the sense that all the things that pushed my buttons (that I was working to transcend during the course) seemed to be threefold in intensity. It was shaky few days, as I battled with my own inner unconscious parts. But now it seems to have settled as things have integrated more and a new, more aligned way has been found. I must confess, on the outside it is only a little different from before, but I've realised (unexpectedly) that I was judging my own expressions before, and they weren't so far from alignment really. Just a few tweeks here and there in expression and reaction to things. And of course allowing myself to soften into the experience.

with love and gratitude,
Richard

Hi Margaret,

I was contemplating your experience with the Birch tree and it reminded me of an experience I had on a previous Openhand course in Cae Mabon. I wrote some words around it and thought to share them with you...

Oneness

I am standing in the middle of the tree
I am me, the tree is he
Yet, let there no separation be
I yield, I wait, I trust, I see
I am the tree, the tree is me

Deeper, deeper and deeper still
There is no tree, there is no me,
Just letting be

With love, Fiona

Wonderful Margaret, you beautiful Being! I miss your lovely company.

I too had experience with the trees just last night. I took my dog for evening walk around the neighborhood and I could sense the energy field of the trees. I started to follow it to see how big it is and where does it lead and I noticed that they were all connected to one another, almost like forming a web of tree energy. Then I noticed I was as wide as the web and then the I was gone. There was only awareness enjoying the connection to the trees.

The first days at home were quite a rollercoaster for me but then I started to come back around and things started moving. On Saturday night I felt the pull to make an add to internet to put my apartment out for rental. I've done that earlier many times but hadn't any success. So I did and less than 24 hours later I had rented it to the sweetest young couple who are moving in next month. Also my belongings started to sell after six months silence. I'm keeping only few things and selling pretty much everything. So things are moving and I know nothing about where the future will take me but everything feels balanced and flowing so I just enjoy the ride of this wave ;) One of my new favorite hobbies is to sit in silence and observe the energy moving through me and observing all the different sensations it causes in this body vehicle. Or just slowly moving my hand, how it feels and how widely it effects in the energy field around. Walking through the neighborhood feels like taking a trip around the world :D so much is going on and I have been blindly living here for the past 7 years. I'm happy to get to know the nature of the neighborhood before I go though. It feels I'm being taken to all the places in this town to face the past once again and say goodbye. If I'm driving the road might be blocked so I need to take another route that takes me through the part of the town where I used to spend time with some person from the past so I go into those memories and see how they feel now. Things like that.

I've been seeing hedgehogs on my walks for the first time. Usually they are very shy especially with dogs but now I saw one brave one coming towards the road form a meadow. When I connected with her she pulled her head in and protected herself with the thorns. The next day I saw one again and she had the cutest face and she stopped but she didn't feel the need to protect herself. Today I saw one again, peace to her soul, on the road in the body that wasn't alive anymore. I think she offered me quite beautiful reflection there.

With love,

Emilia

I just love this Emilia...

    "The first days at home were quite a rollercoaster for me but then I started to come back around and things started moving. On Saturday night I felt the pull to make an add to internet to put my apartment out for rental. I've done that earlier many times but hadn't any success. So I did and less than 24 hours later I had rented it to the sweetest young couple who are moving in next month. Also my belongings started to sell after six months silence."

This is so precious for anyone walking the spiritual path when they feel they would like to change something. Why?

There comes a point where your consciousness shifts and you realise that everything 'out there' is only ever changed by a change 'in here'. It's a curious and magical point. Before this, people make logical decisions about when, where and how to move. But it's seldom within the flow. And so they only build inner tension and negative energy which unwinds somewhere in the future. En mass, that would equate to the whole of humanity stuck in an eddy current - called society - that will ultimately unwind because it's resisting the flow. The movements people make are purely circumstantial and without any alignment.

However, when you step onto the path, you realise that to truly shift anything - the real patterns of life - you must shift within. When you shift within, the outer world changes without you feeling like you did anything. This is what we call at Openhand Walking the Path of Light.

That's exactly what you're doing now Emilia.

Bravo!

Open *OK*

Ahhh… It is so wonderful to see your faces here on the forum and read your feedback! Connecting through the Openhand community gives me a tremendous dose of courage. Knowing that I’m not alone and expressing freely is divine. Thank you so much for being… While holding the space for one another we can access more courage to look the distortions in the face and to see the truth beyond the fear.

TO THOSE THAT ARE READING AND DON’T FEEL LIKE POSTING (which is perfectly ok)
Thank you for tuning in. You know, when you read the posts here and it awakens feelings (any feelings) you are connected and you are holding the space for what is unfolding. And by doing so you too are contributing to the new paradigm. And I thank you for that. I’d love to hear if in your heart you found any answers here, or perhaps a pull to explore more? Anyways, I think you are magnificent, as we all are divine beings.

PHYSICAL LOVE
It occurred to me today how the concept of physical love is distorted in today’s society. The realization came through my twin flame experiences that made me feel more complete. When I’m in that feeling of completeness, there is no need to be completed by the other person. And the physical love becomes less about getting validation and more about expressing love and supporting the expression of the other as they are in the moment. In that space, there would be no expectations and we are just perfect as we are. Also, by letting the other be free we are freeing ourselves. I must admit, I've never felt about it this way and it’s a game changer.

SPECIAL THANKS
Cynthia – Thank you for receiving my message in your heart.
Open – You are the Master Alchemist!
Fiona – Your poem just melted me inside. What a gift! Thank you.
Jen – Thank you for reading it and for the lovely feedback.
Oliver – You always remind me of the important.
Richard – Thank you for your sharing…oh how I miss our crazy laughs
Emilia – Wow! Love ya, sister.

Let us walk together beyond the fear.

Love,

Margaret

There is an ancient being within
that is felt;
a timeless wisdom
to be expressed;
a gentle peace
to be shared;
an experience of deep and mysterious vastness
embracing you and me,
patiently waiting
until we are no more.

Lovely Cynthia - thanks for sharing

Open *OK*

In reply to by Cynthia Sham Rang

And when we are no more
we softly dissolve into the whole;
deep sense of stillness,
an ocean of quiet;
we rest in the mystery
of the perfection of reality
and our wings stretch out
on a Mobius strip,
back to infinity.