Dear Friends of Openhand,
I feel like sharing some of my experiences few days after the transfiguration retreat in Glastonbury. I miss you all and my heart is filled with gratitude to everyone that was a part of this out-of-this-world experience. I’m curious how you are feeling and perhaps there is something that other Openhanders will resonate with.
THE DAYS AFTER TRANSFIGURATION
I went to visit my parents right after leaving Glastonbury. I was curious to see if the forgiveness ritual really worked. I found that there is really nothing to forgive, there never was! It was all just an illusion and they are just a pair of souls that are doing their best to self realize. I knew that (in theory) before, but now I also feel it. I just watched the remaining distortions that activated in their presence and noticed my reactions. Also, my parents have some pictures of me in their home and I didn’t recognize myself on them. I was startled for few seconds that they had pictures of a stranger in their living room. I have changed, indeed.
During Transfiguration part of my personality (some automatic response programs and some identities) had vanished and I felt weird emptiness inside. I was advised to just let them be but had an urge to fill them up. So I created temporary programs for the identities that disappeared. But the real me is rolling in like a storm and ripping them apart fast. My heart feels warm now as I’m thinking this and I’m ready to receive my true self more fully. Bring it on!
FEELING THE ONENESS
I’m at a hotel restaurant in London as I write it, but I do not really have a geographic sense of location... I feel I’m kind of everywhere and a bit of everything. Few days ago I found myself with the same perception while walking along beautiful wheat fields on a sunny day. It felt so wonderful and touching. When I leaned agains a birch tree near the field, my heart opened wide, like a huge gate and the wind was gently blowing through it as it was blowing through the tree’s leaves. Was I part of the tree or was the tree a part of me? It doesn’t matter, I guess. Everything was intertwined and so perfect. I know that when I return home I’ll be spending more time in nature and feeling as one with it. I’m even toying with the idea of moving out of the city…
The twin flame experiences continue to manifest. I’m trying to hold the perception that the manifestations are “only" reflections. It is not an easy task as the attachment can creep up fast and create the feeling of longing and loss. But that is ok too. It’s a part of being a human. Speaking of “human”… Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a human anymore, but a different being. Perhaps I’m only noticing the difference between how I am now and how I was before?
FEELING LOST, SOMETIMES
Yes, I am feeling lost sometimes with all that is happening. My brain is trying to rationalize it all and is going on overload sometimes as the concepts it knew before are not always working and the “impossible" is now becoming my daily bread. I’m gently feeling into the okeynes with whatever is happening and softening into the need to explain it all.
This is it from me. I hope you are all well.