Do we create illness to stop us dead in our tracks?

Hi Open

this is a bit of a crazy question perhaps :) I am wondering can one create illness in order to stop one in ones tracks? I seem to feel very flowy and lovely and then something is created that prevents it - for example headaches, uti, could a part of me be so stongly against my evolving that this would be created? Or are things like this coming up due to ev
olving :) I have had more illnesses and infections in the last six months than I had over years. I have a pretty good balanced diet. Its like my immunity has virtually gone.
thankyou Elaine

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Hi Elaine,

A deep exploration indeed - wonderful <3

When people are in relationship for a long period of time, then there can be a kind of 'taking for granted'. Especially energetically - energetic ties form, especially on the emotional plane. This can diminish the chemistry over time because it denudes the kundalini energy.

So separating can often reignite the chemistry because each takes back personal sovereignty more and embodies their energy more - that's what becomes so attractive again.

If you then get back into relationship, with the same partner, and you'd like it to endure, it's essential to establish boundaries - make sure you continue to do the things that ignite your soul by yourself, and encourage likewise in your partner.

Also, especially after sexual intimacy, it's important to work on bringing the energy back inside yourself. Which can be done with meditation and breath work. Self pleasuring is also still important in relationship, because it helps to embody the kundalini within yourself - not to dissipate it always into your partner.

Those are just some things that jump out.

Wishing you well

Open <3


Hello again Open :)
so I felt I wasn't complete with the uti/bladder thing so last night I said "show me" before bed. Wow my night was intense - dreams of sexual harm - a small group of people I was part of and we were in a tiny campervan and it was like an orgy but in the middle was a black insectoid slippery creature and when I realised it was there I knew I had to pull out. This meant my partner in the dream rejected me in fact I was completely rejected by all. Other dreams of being manipulated sexually and being around and peddling drugs. It was a heavy intense night and I woke with such pain in my legs right down them and in between them. Then I realised the bladder pain must be related to this stuff and it must be karmic. I tried to soften into the pain but couldn't seem to. Okay pretty personal bit here - I ended my "relationship" a few weeks ago but we still seemed to hang out together sometimes but its completely free and only when it flows theres no expectations and I have felt more sexual since ending the relationship than when I was in it! I feel so free its almost like I cant abide a societal kind of relationship. So I think that the freedom somehow allowed much more joyful sexual sharing. I experienced laughter and intense love whilst gazing into my ex partners eyes. This kind of related to one other time I had ended the relationship and we had arranged before hand to go to a spa together so we did anyway. On the way everything was 11 - the temp in the car - we both looked at the time and it was 11.11. Struck me as a special moment somehow. In the sauna I happened to look at him and he at me and in the meeting of our eyes wow it was like I could see his soul and the incredible acceptance of what I felt I needed to do - the ending of the relationship yet there was an acceptance in me that there was still a deep soul bond somehow. Needless to say we got back into the "relationship" again. So I am wondering was it the Iloving sharing of making love without the confines/imprisoning feeling of a "relationship" that triggered this heavy sexual karma to come up. I had thought it was my body telling me it wasn't okay to be sexual as I had ended our relationship but now I feel perhaps the love I saw reflected in his eyes that allowed this to come up. It has to doesn't it in order to evolve in this way? I don't know if I have fully released yet as my legs are still aching.

Last year I felt that my kundalini was beginning to rise but then it seemed to stop right down at the base or sacral area and maybe this is why this sexual karma. I had periods of getting really hot but didn't know if it was kundalini or menopause:) then it all stopped. I remember when I felt kundalini beginning to rise it felt like life a great flow in life was going to be unstoppable somehow it was going to be immense but then nothing else happened. I can see how I have blamed me feeling stuck on my ex partner and I also see now how hes been mirroring me - what I have judged in him has been really me. Yet he also has mirrored some great stuff - steadiness, supportive through both my parents passing, totally turning his life around from binge eating and partying (with drugs) often to almost the opposite, a great dad to his little girl. Difficult mirrors to see and lovely mirrors too but I didn't even realise this till very recently - having come across your site and all the information on it. I could only see the harsh stuff not the good stuff which means that's how internally I have treated myself too criticising and not seeing the good stuff.

So lots of processing for me - I had really lost my way but I feel I am finding my way home really now. Yesterday I sat in my garden sun was shining and I was sitting with my grandson and his little friend whom I am child-minding watching them laughing joyously blowing and chasing bubbles about , digging in the garden, racing about and I thought wow what an amazing "job" I have. To be honest I wouldn't have been able to go out to work for anyone else this last couple of weeks its been so intense and I have felt really weak - well I did till I told myself to get up and get on with life that the pain I was having was not me it was just an experience.This was after you suggested perhaps I had a blockage of ray 1.

Wow this much stuff coming up since finding your site - makes me wonder how the course will go!
much love and thanks

I saw a "picture" this morning when I woke of a dolphin in very dirty water - it couldn't express its playfulness and joy because of the mucky environment it was in


thanks so much that's so helpful! the ray 1 thing really resonates - I read your article and it really resonates. I have really struggled with "adversity" and struggle to get back up in fact I have taken any setbacks as signs I am not in a good flow and withdrawn from things . Haha and I realise I have been drawn to watch things that have warriors in - last night one of the warriors in what I was watching said "when you fall down get back up again straight away" also there was a scene where an implant was removed from the back of someones neck! I have been judging myself for being drawn to watch things recently having not watched anything for about 10 years! I couldn't understand why I was being drawn to do this. Yet everything I have watched has been about warriors fighting for the good - heroes and heroines. Haha and my grandson is always charging about as a "warrior" My head pain has completely gone I felt I managed to remove the implant and saw it as a certain shape and in the scene last night the implant was exactly the same! thanks again your sharing is so helpful


I observe yes, that's usually the case. Although you do have to work quite intuitively to pick up the reasons.

A tightness in the throat for example could mean not speaking one's truth.
A pain in the heart might mean not following the heart.
Pain in the knees might point to misalignment in earthly direction.
Bladder might be about being too accepting - not tightening with enough ray 1 warrior - in certain circumstances.

The key is always to ask: "show me!" Then to be attentive to the reflections that come our way.


Open *OK*


thankyou! also can I ask - the soul will create an illness - does it create a particular illness in order for us to "learn" say its in a particular body part eg bladder - is there any particular reason it comes to affect that part of the body? is soul wishing us to come to some realisation related to that particular body part - eg some say bladder issues are "being pissed off" or lungs are grief related - that type of thing ?thanks again Elaine


Hi Elaine,

Sounds like you're having a powerful exploration - and very resonant of the kinds of things we encounter on the Openhand gatherings.

You asked earlier...

    "I am wondering can one create illness in order to stop one in ones tracks?"

Most definitely yes! It's the soul's way of saying... "yoohoo, remember me, slow down, I'm right here!".

The karma you've described sounds very much like intervention karma. People are encountering similar all the time. The book DIVINICUS helps explain what that's all about if you'd like to explore deeper.

What's going on in your head sounds like an implant - usually they're connected to the kind of karma you've been experiencing.

You have the power to push them out. But I'd say two things are necessary to know first: (1) you have to stay anchored to the lower chakras as you do it (2) when you start to push them out, work to intuit how they're connected. Then just feel breaking the ties so as to push out the implant. Your intuition will know what to do.

Finally, when working to help 'heal' another, it's essential that their own self-realisation happens as a part of the process. There's two aspects to healing: (1) self-realisation of the soul (2) removal of the karmic blocking energy. A healer can remove the karmic energy, but it will only come back in a different form if the soul hasn't self-realised what it was meant to.

That's why in the Openhand Facilitation, facilitated self-realisation is an integral part and precedes healing energy work - we use deep intuitive questioning to get the heart of the matter. Sometimes though, simply resonating the soul frequency might be enough. It sounds like that's what happened in your case.

Sending love

Open <3


well I think I answered my own query last night and this was karmic I was in so much pain I was in tears and I thought I have to soften into this so I did The feeling around my lower stomach area was very strong to my hands - I could feel it felt like a box or something like that it was completely around my lower stomach and back. So strong it almost was pushing my hands away Unsure what to do I just thought I'm going to release any karma involved and channel the energy through my hands to break this up whatever it was. The energy flowing through my hands felt the strongest its ever been. I saw some "pictures" of me I think I a hospital type gown and hospital type places. Anyway I woke up and the pain has gone! Last time (a couple of weeks ago) I had a similar infection and it took over a week to clear. I have been able to bring healing energy through me before for others but always felt it wasn't really doing what was needed to do - the person was never getting to a cause just to a symptom so stopped offering it to others. This time though I could sense what needed shifted so it felt different somehow. I havnt been able to soften into the head pain so far I don't know why . I think its too close to the part of me I use to soften if that makes any sense. I also awoke with the feeling of could this be collective karma - is that why there are big groups of people all ill sometimes at the same time? Theres wave after wave of illness happening up here in the North of Scotland where I live.