Embracing the Vitality of Risk on the Spiritual Path

Submitted by Open on Mon, 09/18/2017 - 07:10

There will come a point on the spiritual path where there's nothing for it but to risk all. The soul wants to flow as freedom. It doesn't calculate what is logical, safe, or will gain the best practical outcome. It is yearning to be forged by the crucible of life into something immortal, beyond fear and limitation. Not that the soul doesn't have boundaries, not that it doesn't blend into rigid realities, it does. But its purpose is to be the expression of the unbounded, unconstrained, fearlessness of the One.

It's time to break through the glass ceiling

Risk is the antithesis of security. It's where you're presented with a choice and you have no idea what's on the other side. You don't know if what you're being invited to do will work, or where it will lead. Let's be clear - truly following the soul will take you to the limit of what you feel secure. This is the crux point, which pulls on all the remaining ties of ego.

And that's exactly why, if you're truly walking the path, you'll hit the 'glass ceiling'. You'll encounter the final restraint that provides shelter and comfort to the ego. To break the glass ceiling, is to dive right into your fear. At this point, ego explodes and full kundalini is activated.

Activated kundalini is boundless, free-flowing soul, down from the source, through your being, and back again, all inside of yourself. The sense of freedom is like metaphorically surfing a 100ft wave, snowboarding down a mountain without control, or base jumping into thin air, wondering if your 'suit' will carry you.

Risk in the day-to-day challenges of Life

Now, I've used these emotive metaphors because that's what it feels like to me. But let me hasten to add, I don't surf ocean waves, I don't snow board down mountains and I certainly don't base-jump off cliff edges! But how might you apply these metaphors to the challenges you face in modern society?...

  • What about leaving a job that you know isn't for you, yet pays the rent?
  • Could it be beginning that new passion with minimal resources and committing all that you have?
  • Might it be daring to move on from a secure relationship, but which didn't fully work?
  • Or else could it be challenging the judgments friends and family members place on you?

All of these situations are often powerfully emotive, and can stretch you to the limit because of the risk of losing that's involved. But whenever you take such a leap of faith into these kinds of circumstances, in terms of the forging of the soul, you will never lose.

Preparation for Risk

It is also vitally important to say that to confront fear by taking a risk, doesn't mean to do so recklessly. You don't base-jump off a cliff edge without a flying suit. You don't throw yourself into a 100ft wave without a surfboard. And there's much preparation that goes with it too. To follow the natural pathway of the soul in a particular 'landscape', will involve the application of skills. You may be a natural healer, but you'll still need to hone the gifts of your craft to have some chance of success.

So taking risk doesn't equate to being reckless. But if you're truly following the soul, it will prepare you for the point at which it's time to jump into the unknown. And there's no avoiding this, if you're to truly know the boundlessness of the One.

Think "Innovation"

Crucially, preparing for risky situations, and developing yourself to face them, will involve daring to take the tried and tested in your life, but then doing it differently - think "Innovation".

When you think about it, "Innovation" doesn't mean simply abandoning all the practices you've known and all the skills you developed along the way.

Innovation means taking the threads of the old,
and fearlessly weaving them into a new garment.

Here's an Openhand Video on Innovation

The Passion of Risk

There's often great passion that comes with risk taking too. In fact, for me, it's hard to imagine forging the soul through risky situations without passion. I observe this is one of the limitations often encountered in the spiritual mainstream - it's seen as not 'spiritually correct' to unleash emotion. And so the natural passion of the soul is frequently dissolved out.

This in itself creates the limitation of spiritual identity - a particular form of the glass ceiling, under which I observe many languish. Hence, if you truly yearn to break through the final ties of ego's limitation, I'd advise applying yourself to experiences which generate, and unleash, passion. Many a time I've found myself standing on the edge - it was always passion that carried me over and through.

What is it that ignites the spark of your passion? Do you know yet?

Risk ignites the fire of the soul

When you find yourself easily rising to great passion at times in your life, then as the crux point of risk arrives, the flame of the soul will ignite and carry you through, leading to unimaginable expansion and liberation.

So I'd advise frequently exploring the 'ignition point' in daily life, the one that fires and unleashes soul.

For me, it can be something as simple as emotive music that ignites passion in my life. Or free wheeling in the unknown, following the divine signs and synchronicity to some distant inner shoreline. And emotive film carries me into this 'dream time' too. Which for me, is often more real than 'reality'. Maybe it's time to acknowledge, confront, and break through risk in your life?


When you feel ready to embrace the vitality of risk on the spiritual path, then dive in with Openhand and break through any limiting boundaries...

The Openhand Ascension Portal

In loving Support


Open Praying Emoji💎

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This one hit right home for me today. Though not in a pleasant way… More like a slap in the face, urging me to “wake the f up”. 

I’ve been in a committed relationship for six years now. It was clearly the flow that brought us together - and our relationship has often been deeply spiritual. I have no doubt that my current partner is my soulmate. 

However, soulmates are not for ‘life’ but for the ‘flow’. Last year, we both experienced synchronicities and intuitions that encouraged us to separate. It was clear to us both that our time together had come to an end. 

To me personally, this was challenging but not too much so. I noticed that I’d suppressed a lot of energy during the last few years of our relationship - and as a result, I felt quite liberated in the immediate aftermath of our breakup. However, a few months later, the pain hit me hard. It was as if I’d entered into the breakup with a shield around my heart and a veil around my mind. I’d separated from my partner, but I hadn’t really allowed myself to go through it emotionally and spiritually. The pain flooded me. I also felt guilty, as if I’d failed and hurt everyone around me. I could feel my former partner’s pain, our families’ pain, our child’s pain… And my own. All at once. 

I then experienced some synchronicities around us reuniting. This was really confusing. Though it wasn’t clear, and I experienced a profound split. Nevertheless, to ease the pain, I urged us to come back together. All the while, I suppressed an intuition I’d had right before these feelings and synchronicities surfaced around our reunion. Right before - while still feeling clearly that our separation was the right decision - I’d walked past a sign that said “a change for the better”. I was travelling and had just arrived at my destination. At the same time, I felt a voice inside of me warning me: “You will feel to get back together with your former partner but you must resist this - you separating truly is a change for the better”. It felt strange as I couldn’t even imagine wanting to get back together at that point. But a few days later, that all drastically changed… And I conveniently denied this intuition.

Fast forward, we’ve now been back together for more than six months. We even manifested our previous home back, which seemed to confirm that our reunion was rightful. But that nagging voice persists! Is this the right thing? It’s so complicated… We are young and have a young child together. Just from a financial perspective, a separation would hit us hard. I feel like a little toddler with a temper tantrum… I don’t want to move from my home once again, I don’t want to be a single parent, I don’t want to struggle financially. And I certainly don’t want to put our child through all of this with us… I don’t want to take the risk! It all feels way too much… Why can’t we just work things through? Find a solution? On the other side, if it’s not right for us to stay together, I don’t want that either… 

I know my ego is speaking. But I want to feel more sure that this is in fact the right thing. Separating immediately would feel as a base jump without a security vest. My strongest intuition at the moment is “stay in the unknown”. Maybe that’s why the feelings are conflicting. Because I didn’t do that previously… We both separated and got back together too quickly. But I ‘hate’ staying in the unknown… I want to know!! Yes, I know, it’s my ego again… 

I experienced a synchronicity a few days ago, which may be somewhat related. I was running and my mind was wandering. I was thinking about some specific synchronicities that this guy had shared with me, when he’d imagined something random that happened exactly the way he’d imagined them immediately after. Then, suddenly, I felt as if someone behind me was trying to reach me. I felt this voice saying: “Excuse me, you lost your keys!”. It was all energetically, though, I couldn’t actually hear anything. The feeling was strong, however, urging me to check my pocket, so I did. My keys were safe. Right after this, my attention was drawn to a woman right in front of me. The energetic voice came back: “That woman is going to drop her keys now and you need to give them to her”. Sure enough, the woman dropped her keys! She didn’t notice and continued walking. I did as the voice said. I fetched her keys from the ground and called out to her: “Excuse me, you lost your keys!”. The woman was very grateful. The keys had a yellow tag, which caught my attention. To me, it symbolised an interplay between my lower and higher self. My lower self losing the keys and my higher self returning them back. But what do the keys represent? 

Many thanks 🙏 


In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)


Hi Anonymous,

It's a difficult one for sure - when we leave an embedded situation, with much consciousness wrapped up in it. When you're on the precipice of change, there'll be an inevitable "pull" drawing you back in. It's not until you're looking into the new landscape, and actually taking a step into it, that you pull on those old embedded threads.

But, that's not a reason to stop. Especially when you know in your heart the direction you were being called.

Dropping one's keys is about dropping one's destiny. It's happened to me plenty enough.

It seems to me you actually already know the truth - otherwise, you wouldn't be asking.
We also tend to make judgments about, "what will happen to others if I take this step."
But what we can't necessarily see, is the karma and pathway they also created, no matter how old. We can't judge for the other's pathway.

In any of these most challenging of decisions, where it's hard to move through, the key is to sit in the unresolution, be completely honest with yourself about what's going on, and work diligently into the layers that come up. Ultimately, if you allow it to, the right decision will make itself.

Wishing you well.

Open 💎


25/03/2024: Shift Update

You can't logic the path - "which choice is going to produce the best outcome?" The point about relying on intuition, is that it guides you through the unknown. And also the Shift is about continually shedding old iterations of you behind, which is far from easy. Therefore, you're going to hit places where there's the invitation to dive in and take a risk. You're risking that, by making a particular choice, somehow, the guidance will carry you through - you'll end up on welcome shores. And the soul will have grown enormously in the process.

We've featured this track here on Openhandweb previously, but it seemed entirely appropriate to share it again here today, together with lyrics - be inspired...

Bright blessings in the Shift.

Open 💎


Thank you for your reflection Julie! Yes I feel you, before it was for me just a concept that I accepted. Feeling the aloneness as a feeling instead of on a mind level was really empowering.

Thank you for mentioning 'choice' as well and the empowerment that comes with aligned choice. I tend to judge those choices because of the fear and resistance they bring up, but yes, it's a good thing!


The risk/fear I'm facing is ending up alone. I feel like this with my boyfriend and brother. They both mirror sides of me that I feel to let go of. Yesterday I had a very strong feeling while being in an emotional argument with my boyfriend that was like "BUT I'M NO LONGER THAT!". Yet taking action and walk away from old behaviour (and the relationship I figure) brings the 'risk' of ending up alone, although in the midst of that argument I had a very strong, new feeling of being alone anyway, my boyfriend just being a reflection of the judgements I hold against myself.

In reply to by hannah


I resonate with what you are saying Hannah. It is my perception that we are alone in our walk through this physicality whether we choose to be with someone or not, do we not walk in our own sovereignty? I too have pondered the idea of "walk away" , however, in the end I am alone with or without another person. I have changed in many ways in recent years and proceed to follow my truth through my actions, thoughts and activities. I do keenly observe the energy exchange in the partnership and follow the signs and synchronicity from the universe as I forge ahead.

The two words that stand out to me are fear and risk, but the elephant in the room appears to be "choice". Be empowered by choice, that you "choose" to no longer be this or that because it aligns with your soul -- it is not a bad thing.

In reply to by hannah


Hi Hannah :-)

I'd like to offer a reflection from my experiences, as I was experiencing the same thing. I broke up, somewhat reluctantly, with my girlfriend about a year ago. There were so many lovely reflections in the relationship which were keeping me holding on, and yet I felt that I was in a different place now and somehow the current situation was keeping me in box.

The year that has followed has been hard, there's no sugar coating that. I've had moments of complete emotional breakdown. But somehow, at the other end there has been a tremendous emergence of sovereignty. Somehow I've realised that while the adjustment period is tough and sometimes very confusing (just talk to marije about our conversations over the last year) being alone has also brought me much closer to myself. There is more of a sense of being whole.

Interestingly, I actually felt much more lonely while still in the relationship. For me loneliness seems to come when I don't fully embrace myself and my aloneness/sovereignty. So there's then a need for others to fulfill that. And the other interesting thing is that mostly, the beautiful reflections that were arising between me and her are still there. It's just taken a while to adjust to the new paradigm.

I also wanted to reflect to you to give it all time. It took me about two years of feeling that things weren't quite right any more. And it's taken me a further year to get to this point, where even now there are still plenty of things about the relationship to let go of. I would also say that it's easy to focus on all that you might seem to be losing. But, it does make space for new connections and situations to arise I've found to be quite exciting.

Big hug to you

In reply to by Richard W


Hey Rich, thank you for sharing <3 really helpful to read about your experiences and the time it took. For me it happens in a similar time window (years) and for a long time I felt I was doing something wrong. Beside the fact that there's been a great deal of avoiding making a choice, I think I've also already been unwinding the relationship while still being in it. But now I feel real change is coming.

I can really relate to that feeling of loneliness within the relationship, somehow I keep thinking it will get worse when being alone although deep down I know what you say is true for me too; that I just look for something in the other that I can only give myself. What you say about the emergence of sovereignty and being whole really speaks to me as well, I already start to feel that, just as the freeing up of space and energy for other connections.


I feel for you Megha - I've been in not dissimilar situations Heart

Always, but always, there's huge growth and realignment potential in such gatherings - especially with biological family. The key is to be deeply attentive internally - where do you tighten and knot up? Work into these feelings and unwind them. Always work to come from the most authentic expression. It tends to go wrong when you get sucked into their reality framework and the judgments that go with that.

A great learning opportunity.

Open Praying Emoji


I visited my Mom and brother yesterday.I have been avoiding doing it- that home has extremely dense energy reflective of unresolved emotions of it's inhabitants. I have always found myself shutting down . Yesterday ,as luck would have it ,I had singing practice close by. And I visited after harvesting veggies from the organic farming cooperative I am part of( it gives me so much joy that place !)   . So perhaps I was in the best possible place.  I also did some chakra meditation in there .i   have had to equalize and be okay with the fact that my brother needs some medication to help him wake up out of the very vegetable like existence his depression has reduced him to. And to balance that  with the fact that feeling all the pain he feels ( comes from past lives as well) may well push him toward suicide . My mother tends to veer between denial and hysterical grief . I took deep breaths and as calmly as I could spoke to both of them . I don't know how things will pan out ,but I am hopeful I will be shown the best path to be of service  in this situation. 



Sometimes you may find yourself getting involved in tricky situations on the path where there are various investments in reality from those around you (and perhaps your own too). And to heighten the challenge, you know it's likely to cause some pain or disruption by confronting the truth of the situation. These are moments of risk on the spiritual path, and in fact they offer great opportunity for growth.

What I've discovered is this: that truth will always find a way. And if I have to say something to someone that I suspect they may not take well, if I can share my view without loading or over energising, then the truth will always find a way. It can't however whilst you might remain in avoidance of the situation. I've found direct confrontation, no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable, is always the most productive way. But it will seem risky when you take such steps. And so they offer the potential for maximum soul growth.

What risks are you facing in expressing the truth to someone? Or following the truth in a given situation?

Do feel free to share here, and we'll see how we might find the path of light through them.

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hi Vimal - I loved the story of the 5star beach and taking a risk - had a similar experience myself on the island of Majorca once! Thumbs Up Sign

Great to see you Anatoly. When I ended up in La Palma, it was because I embodied the energy of adventure - everything else followed. So I'd say take a risk, embody what you feel, then take the steps that present. Prepare for excitement! OK Hand Sign

Much love and support

Open Praying Emoji


I must admit that I had reservations at first writing about this as it is just a feeling at the moment and idea is a bit ambitious.  Then I broke through the resistance and decided to post about it.  I still don't fully know my passion. Sometimes, I just get a feeling to get RV and travel - sense of freedom and adventure.  

Another way of life here and now, more harmonious with Nature and with the Flow, maybe a sense of 5D.  Sounds ambitious but I have to start somewhere.  Maybe posting here is a start.  This project requires a lot of preparations. Up to now my skills were around technology (software) but was never passionate about it.  And recently, my energy has been reduced to a trickle in the corporate field.  

Just a thought but maybe I can start learning about the block chain technologies (BTS shares and such) which could become handy to provide alternative way for means of energy exchange (services and goods) when the mainstream means of exchange become more and more unstable over time.  

No idea if I will follow through on that, I will just go with the Flow but thought it would be good to at least post.

OK, enough writing about it. 



Hey I notice Openhand is reflecting more of what i experience lately.  I just came from the beach today but rather than spending time like i usually do , today i felt a pull go into this 5 star beach resort overlooking the sea. They have security there and clearly trespassers were not allowed. But at the risk of getting caught and shooed away i pretended to be one of them and roamed around there and finally spend the evening in their garden gazing at the sunset with cool wind. Okay maybe not much of a risk Grinmacing but i had some fear of being embarrassed in public. And it was fun to defy what's 'normal'  .From there for me the difference between the have's and have not's and the injustice where very obvious. But that's how it is. 


Hi Eduardo,

You ask a pertinent question...

    "For example, why aren't we guided to live without clothes? Why aren't we guided to eat with our hands? Why aren't we guided to sleep in the kitchen?"

For me there are a couple of answers - firstly Homo Sapiens has been purposefully adapted to fit within that system.

Secondly there is the 'ray 4' to take into account. This is the natural aspect of the soul that blends with certain lower reality constructs so as to process karma. So a natural aspect of your authentic self will be working to blend (to a degree). At Openhand we call this the 'diplomat' aspect of the soul.

You might find this helpful...

The Complexity of Blending the Higher Flow with the Lower on the Spiritual Path"

Best wishes

Open *OK*


Hi Marije,

I understand the challenges very well - because I with incarnating the way I did, I too had to work through all this stuff!

Remember a couple of essential things...
1. This is all about self-realisation. So you might create a string of spiking synchronicities just so as to unravel the ownership of lower mind.
2. To balance the above, unless there's something attracting you in the outer, there's no incentive to truly work the inner!

Adam's calendar spikes for me (for you) when you mention it.
Adam's calendar points towards three pyramids not so far way from it (you can see two with the naked eye). These are pretty much unknown. Yet they are exactly aligned as Orion, and are also exactly on the same longitude as the Great Pyramids of Egypt. There's a strong Annunaki connection in the area.

Open <3


Hello Open and Marije,

as you are speaking of the flow, I felt to ask an interesting question that has been in my mind for some time.

For me, the whole human experience is one big conditioning and sometimes it's difficult to identify what ~really~ is a conditioning - rooted in a fixed neural pathway.

For example, why aren't we guided to live without clothes? Why aren't we guided to eat with our hands? Why aren't we guided to sleep in the kitchen?

Does the all-encompassing flow, free from all judgements, meets those societal constructs?
I guess not!



Thanks so much for the feedback Marije...

    "Often when I read an article here, the more I resonate with it, the more I don’t know where to start in response and then often end up not responding at all ☺."

I'd say that's a great sign - because it means it's touching something!

You said about impatience...

    "My impatience can make the reckless choice of jumping without a flying suit or surfboard."


Sorry to laugh, but what you say creates some humorous imagery!

This is all about the consciousness landscape. It's about getting used to seeing the things that 'spike' in the field - noticing what raises your awareness. This in itself is tricky because it requires you to deprogram lower mind with all its needs, desires and expectations about what you want to be doing, or field you should be doing.

But as we detox lower mind of these conditioned behaviourisms, then you start to feel, intuit and know where and how the field is beginning to 'click'. You start to feel the synchronistic 'spikes'.

It's then important not to effort to fit these all together. Here again we must overcome another distorted characteristic of lower mind - it doesn't like uncertainty and so it will try to force things to fit together. You have to work to soften this aspect too, by feeling into the tightness that needs the immediate answer and opening out through it - soften through it.

One metaphor that can greatly help here is that of juggling balls - you notice the 'balls' that spike in the moment, but don't seek to hold onto them. Instead notice them in as much detail as possible. Let's say you put your keys down somewhere (keys are often a sign of destiny), and something spikes - jolts - in your awareness about them, which means they have an importance in 'future-landing-now'. So pay attention to them - where did you put them in relation to other things around? How are they lying? What else do you notice? Pay attention to these things (which means becoming ultra aware) but crucially, don't try to make them fit together. Instead toss that 'ball' back up into the air and let it go. Don't forget about it as such, but don't work to figure things out. Let the spike just float in your higher dimensional awarness

Then you'll start to notice other 'balls' that spike in the moment. Keep juggling these until suddenly you feel something land and everything just 'clicks'. The synchronistic moment has fallen into place and you physically step into it.

    "So how do you know when you get to the point that it is time to step - where the flow has clicked into place?"

With bags of practice. This is not just following the odd intuition every now and then. It is to be living in the flow practically every moment. It's then that you start to feel that audible 'click' when you know everything is landing in rightness. Then all you have to do, is keep stepping into the landing path of light.

Much love

Open *OK*


I edited this one, because really, I can make it really short! :D

A scary one... I don't see why yet.

Anyway, distilled, I wanted to say that I loved the article, thank people for the inspiring comments, and say that there are big, huge mountains to climb and jump of and also there are little barriers that also demand some breaking through, little cliffs that propel forwards to the next challenges.

This is it!



Thanks so much everyone for sharing - what tremendous courage and enthusiasm you demonstrate!

Apollonius - what a beautiful sharing - I take my 'hat' off to you...

    "he warrior in me said: I will not bend for this ridiculous system and its attempt to squeeze me into this robotic harness. It wasn't reckless; the feeling to jump had now fully landed within my consciousness. I just couldn't escape this knowingness. I'd taken many risks before but this was by far the biggest. I told them to stop my welfare and I stopped seeing any doctors. And then i realised: I've jumped."

This is exactly what it's all about - and as we expand through such gateways, then miracles, mystery and magic all unfold - as they are with you. Go well brother.

Cathy - I just love the video clip - now doubt definitely one to see.

And Wynde - just go for it - awesome. What you share and send out into the world, will reflect back to you in some other form.


Open *give_rose*


Speaking of jumping off the cliff, I just returned from the cinema where I saw "All Saints" -- a beautiful, heartwarming film based on the true story of a corporate salesman turned pastor who risks everything to pursue what feels right and just. He encounters crushing obstacles along the way, and just when he feels all is lost, the miraculous happens although nothing turns out the way he expects. What I'm learning about taking risks and watching a dream turn to dust is this: I KNOW NOTHING. Just as I was feeling down and out, my dream has arisen from the ashes in a wondrous, new way. I got burned the first time around so I'm doing my best to 'see' one step at a time, only. Thank you for sharing your courageous journeys, Apollonius and Wende. I'm jumping with you in the spirit of Helen Keller, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

Love, Cathy


Hey all!!

I'm with you, I jumped off the cliff awhile back, took a backward dive right off the solid rocks of my life. I'm almost always seemingly facing forward, so I figured backward works well. Lets try that!

I cant say for any certainty that I've landed exactly where I should be, but I can say I landed to a screeching halt, a skidding straight through the mud of my life. Those moments I notice always comes with a time standing still. I can see myself raising my head upwards and just breathing in. I get what was talked about here previously regarding music because its those moments too when the symphony of sounds cease, the drums stop beating, the spectrum of color all blends together. The dense viscosity of it obscures even the brightest of lights. It's like really thick mud that only has baseline sounds and texture. Or so thats how it feels to me.

Those honestly are the moments I treasure most because there is so much to learn from the muddyness of life. With my recent thud, I decided to change direction. It's like when all else fails just move forward. Just go even if I'm crawling, drudging through mud, just keep going. Dont stop. Just let it happen.

This is what I did. I woke up to a roomful of painted canvas wondering what am I supposed to do with all of this?! "Sell them," said the voice inside and I immediately ran towards a few lying haphhazardly on the floor and started hugging them while thinking "nope, not gonna happen! I lied, yup I lied..I cant do it, I cant sell them! These are part of me, these are an eloquence of my soul. I cant share this with more than what I have already done!" Then I laughed so hard, I just layed there on a bare floor hugging paintings and laughed. I've been laughing ever since! In between major panic and anxiety attacks that is. Several times Ive run out my front door to just go hug a tree (litterally) and feel dirt on my feet and hands.

But I know it's in this flying backward dive that I had done, to learn to trust my own road. That so far it has led me here and here is where I am and now I have begun the process of selling my paintings. It feels quite risky for me doing this, yet at least I am trying to see through the muddy viscosities of life and learn to just hover if not fly!
btw: just posting here brings me anxiety, but I'm going..Aint nothing stopping me now!
Much compassion and love to you all


I'm not flying yet but a couple of months ago i jumped from the metaphorical cliff. I got sick at the beginning of this year and my financial resources quickly dwindled. I got sick because I put a dam in the stream of my kundalini energy. My whole energy-system shut down and i could barely take a walk to the store. I was on welfare a couple of months but soon discovered that the mother archetype i was projecting on the government didn't fit anymore. I also noticed that the whole system was trying to make me fit in instead of really looking at me. An inner knowing started to land that in order to heal and let the energy flow again i needed to let go of the external support. I felt like standing on a cliff but didn't yet dare to jump. And than I saw the movie 'Divergent'. It brought tears to my eyes and I knew I was meant to see it. It summoned in me the passion to jump...and it was a great feeling. The warrior in me said: I will not bend for this ridiculous system and its attempt to squeeze me into this robotic harness. It wasn't reckless; the feeling to jump had now fully landed within my consciousness. I just couldn't escape this knowingness. I'd taken many risks before but this was by far the biggest. I told them to stop my welfare and I stopped seeing any doctors. And then i realised: I've jumped and there so turning back. In my dream a voice told me it was time now to let go of any outside authority...it all boiled down to my own judgement. The decision to jump was taken somewhere last June. I'm still falling and last Thursday saw my fears almost coming to a boiling point. I lay down to delve deeper into them and after a while something amazing happened: the seer in me came to the fore and the fear lost its grip. On some level i'd let go of the possibility that I might lose my home and in this state of the seer I went shopping and wasn't getting irritated by all the matrix-noise inside the store. That same evening, totally unexpected, i had a last minute applicant for my course and now was able to pay the rent. From that moment on the seer has become more a part of my waking consciousness. But of course now new layers of inner density have been stirred up from the river bed which I have to embrace. But I'm glad I jumped: I'm falling into non-identification but even if I don't I just couldn't stay in that old status quo any longer. At a certain point safety has not enough power when it whispers in your ear that you should stay where you are.....if you're attentive the Universe or better you yourself will wave the 'go' flag marked by some outside event which is your synchronistic sign. Who jumps with me.....if you're truly ready?