Global Transmutation is Here: Let's Make Our Lives Epic!

Submitted by Open on Thu, 08/29/2019 - 03:57

We are no longer on the cusp of great change in the World. We are no longer on the brink. We are RIGHT IN the midst of the most powerful Transmutation process in the Earth's history. On the surface it is far from petty: climate crisis, environmental destruction, financial instability and political insanity, it's enough to make an angel weep! But did we expect the world's shift to higher 5D consciousness to be all roses and light? What we need right now are the mirrors. We need the reflections to let go of the collapsing old world order that's become decrepid and defunct. Let that be the inspiration to decide: to take back power, take centre stream, and make your life epic!

Feel the acceleration in The Shift happening under your feet

As politicians ponitificate and climate scientists prevaricate, Gaia is doing her stuff. She's doing what she always agreed to, ascending into the 5th Density. In conjunction with dramatic energetic changes in our solar system and the galaxy too, our bankrupt old world consciousness is being unravelled by its very threads. As evolving people we know everything is interconnected, everything is moving as one. Just as realities crytsalise and take shape for a greater learning process, so they are unravelled and broken apart when they've served their purpose.

I urge you, step back for a moment, take stock, look at the big picture perspective. The environment we live in is being broken down, and that's tragic. We each must dig deep and take responsibility for our footprint. But there is a much bigger process here at play. The impact of manmade CO2 emissions on climate is already being dwarfed by a galactic trigger, which wishes to break down the defunct 3D reality. That's what life does: learn from its mistakes, unravel and create a new.
Here are the 4 real reasons for Climate Crisis

What we're talking about is the wholesale breakdown of our 3D reality, and just like the resplendent dragonfly, the emergence of a pristine new reality in a higher vibrational existence (of the 5D/6D/7D) - one that has learned from the mistakes of the old, where all life is cherished and working in harmonious union. That's what the collective consciousness has been yearning for all this time. That is the catalytic driver for change.

An Understanding on the Process of Transformation from 3D to 5D Earth

Catalytic Driver for Change

Plenty of you reading this will already know what I'm talking about. To others, it'll just be coming clear.

Hold your nerve I say. Steel your will. Smelt the blade of your soul in the furness.

Yes, it's getting pretty 'hot' out there.

But this is exactly what we need right now.

Too many have been hanging onto the banks for too long. Afraid of taking centre stream and daring to be them. They're still clinging on, distracting so they don't have to confront the awesome magnitude of the truth...about themselves!

I say to you there is no longer the time to play it small.

No reason to hide in the shadows of life and tow the party line.

Dig deep into your soul. Feel what is right, aligned and authentic for you.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Look into the outer mirror of life, see society's limiting shadow, in all its wonderous ridiculousness.

See where it's contracted you down and made you small. Feel deep into the tightness inside. Is it the solar plexus? The sacrum? Perhaps the heart? So where is the attachment, where do you need the world to be a particular way? What are you afraid of?

These questions can help dig deep into the karmic ties that still hold: what if I lose that job? What if my relationship falls apart? What if I can't pay the bills?

Society can no longer pay the bills! I put it to you that with the current convergence of manmade climate change, of the Pole Shift, Changes in the Solar Logos, and the immenant arrival of the next Galactic Superwave (which is really what the 11:11 synchronicity is referring to) we probably have a window of about 30 years or so left on 3D earth. What will you do with that time?

Let's be clear: this is NOT about turning it all back. This is NOT about finding an eco-friendly band aid to somehow plaster it all together. A synthetic system has been created with hybridised Homo Sapiens purposefully enslaved within. These are the layers that will now be peeled away. This is the defunct reality that needs to go. The world will return to Gaia, Realignment will happen. The 3D reality will be composted to make way for the 5D paradigm beginning in the 5th Dimension.

And there is a place there for each and every one of us should we choose it.

Fortune Favours the Bold

But we have to be bold now. Courageous. Dramatic change is the driver for this transformation. See it all around you now happening. From the purposefully created Amazon fires, to the melting polar ice sheet, some of it is manmade, yes, but plenty is a much deeper, wider process in the natural cycle of life, of death and rebirth.

Wholesale change is here. Look into the macrocosym, and then feel it in the microcosym of your life. How are your relationships wanting to change? What about how you work, live and play? What is the higher consciousness choice right now?

This is NOT about waiting for some big "Event" to happen. It is ALREADY happening!

It's about being inspired to make the higher consciousness choices right now.

You know what they are. Moment by moment, if you listen, you can feel it in your heart. You simply KNOW what is the truth for you. That is BEFORE the 'what ifs' and 'why nots' of the mind get in the way and hijack the flow. You must hold them open right now. You must feel their contracting tightness and open a wide doorway through them. Remember yourself as who you really are - the vastness of The One. Become that. Open into that. And then look for the authentic emergent aspect of soul that now wants to shine forth.

Dive into Centre Stream

So, I urge all: seize the day; seize the opportunity; seize this incredible moment. You have a first row seat for the most spectacular transformation imaginable - the death and rebirth of a star. And it will be the death and rebirth for humanity too.

What I'm talking about is transmutation: realising yourself beyond the physical; knowing yourself as the consciousness of the soul; living on, beyond the physical demise of your body. And then manifesting in a new form in a higher vibrational frequency. That's what this daily confrontation of our physical, emotional and karmic limitations leads to.

That great possibility is there for each of us. It's time to embrace this incredible ride; instead of being overawed by it, be positively inspired because there's simply nothing to be gained by hanging on and playing small. Let's step out and be all that we be, all that is real for you. Don't hold back any longer, there's simply no point. And definitely don't hold onto the collapsing banks of the old world system. Now, more than ever, it is time to take centre stream.

Let's dive in together and make our lives epic!

If you resonate with the Openhand vibe and the approach we're putting forwards, do come and explore the work. It's perfectly crafted to meet these times of profound change in the world.

Thrive in 5D World Tour 2020

See you down the flow. Slightly Smiling


Open HeartPraying Emoji

About Openhand: Openhand is a unique approach to spiritual evolution. Integrating enlightened wisdom of spiritual masters through the ages, it is a way of aligning with the Benevolent Guiding Consciousness of the Universe in your life. It helps you remove karmic blockages to unveil your Cosmic Self and unfold your Divine Destiny. It leads to authentic and alchemical living in the Earth's Higher Dimensional Shift.
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Thank you Vimal for your sweet response. I’m glad it resonated.

Yes, it did feel a bit like the lost silenced voice of an inner child that found the integrity to speak its truth, and in its own way. Like Open said, there are so many of these programs running inside our system and being able to finally expose one of them felt really powerful. I guess the more of these “bullies” that we uncover and refuse to be pushed around by, the stronger the support from the inside can grow until we no longer need to rely on external things to make us feel secure and complete. That it simply becomes the natural state of being.

Wishing you well in your unfolding,




Hi Anastasia,


I really love your sharing. Thanks for opening up and being so vulnerably beautiful( Is there even such a word?) I especially resonate with this part. The soul emergence and the ego owning that and using it for its own ends which shuts off the creative flow. I love the part where, the soul comes up back again and asks this gentle question. It seemed to like a little child was speaking against a bully and sharing his\her truth. 

"Why do I have to do something with this feeling? Why does it need to go somewhere, become something in particular? Why can’t I just be allowed to enjoy it as it is?"


With love



Hi Open,

Thank you for your supportive response and the embrace is deeply felt  Heart.

Two words in your post spiked for me when I first read it - PERCEPTION and EMERGENCE. I especially responded to the passage about the soul infusing into the neural pathways and breaking them apart. I felt something move inside me when I read this and afterwards I suddenly started to feel dizzy and nauseated. When I woke up this morning, I felt a sudden energetic shift inside me as if something fell into place. When I got up there was intense movement in my abdomen with something that felt like convulsions in my solar plexus and feeling into this, I realised that my “perception” had changed and perceived realities were beginning to shift.

 I had been looking at the battle with these mind loops as something I had to effort to break down, from the outside and in. I saw myself with my axe of purpose trying to chop down the walls and the patterns, thinking this was the way to get inside the truth of my soul. The shift happened when I became aware of a different scenario and all of a sudden I was riding with the vision of what you described - the breakdown of these mind loops was happening from the inside and out, and it was the light and the yearning for truth of my own soul that was making it happen. I don’t need an axe or a directed purpose or to put any particular effort into it. I can just trust that the “emergence” of my own soul will cut through. How long can the spirit that longs for freedom stay caged?

It might sound really basic, like oh, you’re only getting that now? But for me this was huge! When I left my place later in the morning, I felt a really strong emergence of soul. There were waves and waves of joy and sublime excitement at just being able to feel myself in this way. As I bathed in this feeling for a few moments, a natural impulse to express this feeling creatively naturally arose. An idea of how I could express took shape and it felt exciting to just freely explore the possibility of that. But this joyful exploration didn’t last for more than a couple of minutes before something else happened. Something or “someone” stepped into my consciousness and HIJACKED the entire experience. All of a sudden, I was in the presence of what felt like an over energised “Life Coach” high on Red Bull trying to control the direction of my initial creative impulse.

-So, what are we gonna do with this great feeling you’re having? We need to act on it now before it disappears. COME ON! What are you waiting for? There are so many amazing possibilities! We could do this, or how about that, or even that is an option. Let’s go through all of these choices together!

Already at this point, I felt stressed to the bone. And then all the creative energy fizzled out as the voice tried to pull me into this loop I recognised would have been an endless deliberation of options and consequences, amounting to nothing in the end. So I pulled myself back without even considering any of the choices and as I did, a new voice suddenly arose from the core of me, and this voice gently but firmly spoke back:

-Why do I have to do something with this feeling? Why does it need to go somewhere, become something in particular? Why can’t I just be allowed to enjoy it as it is? It is mine and it’s all I really want right now. So please leave me alone to enjoy it in peace.

It’s not like the mind went completely silent after that, and the initial creative impulse was gone. I couldn’t get that back. But I was able to return to the feeling of just being in the sweet waters of my own vibe and rest there for a while, and I realised I had discovered something sublime that I hadn’t been able to attune to or feel before -

The inner support of my own Soul

My own voice speaking up against my own bully.


With Love and gratitude, Praying Emoji



ps. I’ll check out the article again and reread the Gateway 3 chapter. I trust more things will click into place.





I am looking through this thread with awe.

Alex ,I have spent about six hours in tears yesterday . Which I capped off by doing the bow . Suddenly ,I feel lighter though I am sure there are many more layers to look into. It's as if I have started the conversation within. These days any deep emotional processing kicks off shaking during meditations and that's what happened to me. 

Open ,in the seminar you made a waving hand movement that described how we contract then expand . After a rough morning I noticed that's what the pattern is on my bedsheet . And today ,I am rearranging my daughter's room after getting it painted and getting rid of a lot of stuff that wasnt needed anymore. Seems very much a mirror of my process . The colour is a little lighter ,it's emptier and feels so much more Free !! 

As I said I'm in awe of the fact that all these very similar processes are being kicked off in different parts of the world at the same time . And how our shadings(sharings I meant to say but I feel shadings just describes all of our different colours just as well)  are challenging and soothing each other as well . 

Deep Gratitude to you all ❤️❤️❤️



Dear Open ( and all my Madwomen ❤️)

After the rage ,I am feeling the sorrow. I am just discovering how much of the fixed way I was behaving in my relationships was a way of avoiding the childhood abandonment wound. It's a difficult ,heart rending place to be .I am sitting up since 2 am listening to this beautiful song trying to initiate a dialogue with this abandoned vulnerable tender part of me .  And I am seeing how I have projected the blame of being abandoned onto my partner when all the while I had been doing it to myself ........Jumped out at me that did.


Hi Marije - just to jump in fairly quickly here on the last point: it's essential to see that YOU are the accuser!

When you get to this level of consciousness, there comes the point where you realise you really are manifesting everything and everyone around you. So a good thing to do, when the accuser/judge appears, is to ask, "how and why did I judge myself?" How do I override myself?

I know this sometimes sounds impossible, but quite literally when you stop doing it to yourself, the outer manifestation will simply melt away.

Open Praying Emoji

In reply to by Open


I owe the topic of this post to the interesting typo of a fellow Openhander, which made my days of shedding into ‘shitting days’ Slightly SmilingSlightly Smiling. I am currently in the process of unwinding my apartment, which needs to be emptied by the end of this month and moving out of the Netherlands, which feels like a process of shedding many layers. This weekend I opened my house to friends to give away as much of my belongings as possible and although many things were taken, there are still enough things left to be shed in the coming weeks. While shedding things physically, in parallel things seems to be shedding internally as well, with all sorts of reflections popping up in my personal life asking to be looked at.

Open, thanks for your reflection above about ‘doing it to myself’. This is actually something that is at the moment quite strongly being reflected in facilitation with clients, how things they are struggling with in the outside world are what they are doing to themselves internally (other than that their processes are all reflecting my own issues back to me right into my face Slightly Smiling). Often reflections like these resonate, yet I can feel lost in relating them to whatever I am struggling with myself in the moment. Something that started dawning to me in relation to what I wrote earlier about my big trigger when feeling like I am getting all the blame and feeling the other side is not taking responsibility for their share in a disagreement, is that all I really have to do is take ownership and responsibility for my share in the situation, regardless of what the other side might do or take on. I realise that in the situations where I have felt all the blame was being projected towards me, something would happen like ‘right if you don’t want to take responsibility for your part in this, then I am not going to take responsibility for mine either’ (angry, rebellious teenager??). In other words, I would actually be doing exactly the same as what I felt the other side was doing to me, haha. I am sure there is more to unwind here, but just the realization that I am not responsible for the other person’s part and feelings in it, but just my own, already feels like a relief.

The other thing that the moving out is forcing me to look at, is asking for support, which is something I tend to struggle with. I am very good in offering support, but not very good in receiving it. There is something about having to be able to do everything yourself/independently as a symbol of strength, whereas relying on support is somehow a weakness, which I feel is also a cultural conditioning here. When I asked myself in relation to the stress I have been feeling around the moving, ‘so what’s the worst that could happen?’, I keep on getting this image of myself on the day I have to hand in my keys with an apartment full of stuff and nobody there to help me to move the stuff out of the place. I realized that somewhere I have a subconscious conviction that I don’t deserve or am worthy of support, and because of that I tend to distrust that there will be support available, avoid asking for it or distrust the support that is being offered. So at the moment I am trying to be very aware of the uncomfortable feelings when I asking for help in the moving process and noticing that there is a lot more support available to me than I usually think there is.

Finally, synchronistically my kitchen sink, which was already draining a bit slowly for a while, has now completely blocked over the weekend (the first time I can remember since I started renting this place 12 years ago). After trying to first clean up the pipes in the kitchen cupboard myself, again an opportunity to ask for help from a friend. Despite his help pushing through some blockages with a spring wire, it seems there are still some bigger blockages further down in the building that stops the water from moving, so tomorrow morning there will be a company coming to unblock things further. One reflection that has come to me on this, is that there might be a blockage in the ‘basement’ (base chakra) that is about to be unblocked.

And the unwinding process continues!


Wow, what a wonderful responses and unfoldings since my post! Anastasia I absolutely love that picture of the 5 madwomen! Thanks so much for sharing that here, it put a big smile on my face. I also see kundalini in what is swirling up in the image. And I somehow felt a bit less mad after reading your post! Just knowing that there are other madwomen out there with me, makes me feel less alone in my process. Indeed our Circle of Five felt very free and nothing crazy about it J.

And ‘whirlwind’ seems to be the perfect word for what is going on for me at the moment! Again I am sitting here with resistance to even writing, after having quite a restless night and some old buttons getting pushed deep earlier today, that I should rather wait posting something until I feel more awake and can write something ‘sensible’ here. Open, I can relate to your response to my post and rationally it all makes sense that it all isn’t such a big deal and centring consciousness in the sacred ground of being will help, but with all that is going on physically/emotionally it doesn’t. Where I was able to sit for longer periods in a very serene place within myself while retreating in the forest, at the moment I struggle to connect with that place again and seem to just be connecting with internal turbulence (strange headaches, heat and movements in my back, weird sensations in my abdominal area, etc.). There are moments that I feel like I am ‘losing it’…. as I am writing this, I am intrigued by this expression and the word ‘losing’ in it and where this comes from. What might we be losing in the process of what the external world would label as going mad, our mind perhaps? However, I am not yet in a place like Anastasia where I can be completely be ok with the idea of society labeling me with madness and come what may, I can feel lots of anxiety around that. Or actually I can probably be ok with being labeled as mad, the anxiety is mostly about the possible consequences of that, such as being locked away in a mental health institution against my will. And perhaps because of that there is a strong attachment to ‘trying to keep things together’ (aka. control) to avoid the possibility of losing it altogether. Of course I know that this fear only gives it more strength, yet I can’t deny it is there.

Another aspect of my inquiry is around something that has become more clear through a lot of the relationship triggers that have been there recently. Something about getting all the blame in a situation of disagreement projected in my direction (which of course I take on myself) and the other party leaving very little room to acknowledge their own contribution to the situation or for me to share my perspectives about it. And even if I get room to share my perspective it will immediately be overruled or questioned by the truth of the other side. Being ‘found guilty without charge’ is the feeling that comes with it. Making me wonder if there could be some karma from something I did in another lifetime that makes me get all the blame?


Hi Anastasia - I felt to jump in here and share a little.

Firstly, let me extend an embrace of empathy, having worked with many who've gone through, or are going through, the powerful effects of Kundalini Activaton. It can be a great challenge indeed.

In fact you described perfectly some of the (reasonably) extreme characteristics in this clip from your sharing. Although I should also add, I've seen it more extreme, and often much more gentle over a protracted period of time...

The mild cognitive dysfunctions are now a full blown daily living reality. Short-term memory loss, loss of ability to plan and organise things, disorientation, sudden uncontrolled emotional outbursts of boundary setting in situations where I may have been more tolerant before, feeling the loss of mental control of where situations are heading etc. All of these used to be strong mental "skills" of mine that served my personal identity very well and that I took pride in.

Yes, these can be some of the symptoms in daily life - the great thing is you're clearly being very lucid about them. Not 'crazy' at all! So my sense is that some of the experiences are more in perception. What do I mean? We're transitioning from a place where the mind had formed complex, layered, identities in how it relates to the world and functions on a daily basis. The mind has soaked up endless program routines like a sponge soaking up water, which most people live through constantly. There are programs for driving your car, brushing your teeth, taking the kids to school, endless expected and conforming responses in relationships or at work, doing the shopping or at play etc etc etc. Most people are living a life from the place of this pre-progarmmed doing.

What we're talking about is transforming to life coming from being. So all of these programs are steadily broken apart by the soul. Why? Because they're simply NOT authentic! They're NOT real. They're essentially a lie and a falsehood. And as the soul, it ceaes to tollerate the imposter. Only truth will suffice. So steadily the soul infuses into the neural pathways and breaks them apart. It brings you to the place of "No Mind". Now this can be a freeky place in the beginning. There comes this feeling of complete openness with the world and transparency. And the feeling of "how can I function from this place?" Where you don't know how to act from one step to the next That can generate a degree of fear at first. Especially as you might struggle with the day-to-day chores. But if we allow it to settle and surrender into it, what you start to feel is the arising of soul - a natural emergence from the core of you. It's felt as a frequency, a vibration of natural beingness. Which if you attune to, then Right Action flows from it. Steadily you discover you have an inherrent aptitude for functioning in this world, but from a much different place now. It starts to feel magical and sublime.

What can help at this point is a degree of understanding of the 7 rays I've written about. Such as the ray 4, it being the 'bridge between worlds'. It's a facet of beingness that helps you blend into the reality construct of other people without compromising your soul. The Ray 4 Bridge Between Worlds

I should also add that it can get complicated when the mainstream medical services get involved because they tend to have little understanding of the awakening process, never mind the more advanced kundalini activation. And all too often there are prescriptions of 'psychosis', 'split personality', 'multiple personality disorder', 'schizophrenia' etc etc. It can greatly complicate and confuse the issue. At the very least, it's essential to avoid taking on board any of these labels!

Over time, Kundalini will integrate and it becomes the most magical way of living and being. If we still lived in tribes, it wouldn't be a problem at all, just a natural part of becoming. You'd be held in an empathic embrace, allowed to be your experience, and supported in that integration. And that's why it's so important to have these kinds of sharings and groups here.

In the book 5GATEWAYS, under Gateway 3, I wrote about the generally destabilising effects of kundalini and how to work with it, sharing symptoms, plenty of first hand advice, information about the 7 rays and especially how to integrate the effects. I'm not sure if you've read it, but for sure it would be helpful... 5GATEWAYS

Much love and empathy

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hi Aspasia,

Your input comes as a fresh and supportive breeze indeed. Thank you. Pretty much everything you shared reflects to me what I have intuitively felt is the right way to move now. It marks quite a big shift in direction for me and I have felt the rightness of it but still felt some subtle doubts around it. So your feedback has the mark of divine timing. I have deeply contemplated many of the things you shared with me at the retreat, including the actual timing of my kundalini activation, which has shed new light on my journey thus far. I also experienced a very strong reflection of my Kundalini-Shakti in you. It felt at times that She was speaking to me through you, and upon returning home this has helped me develop a direct relationship with her. She has become ‘real’ to me and in feeling that I can also feel just how much she cares about me and wants to see me discover my divine birthright. Her ways are not always gentle, but behind some of that “tough love”, I feel a wise divine mother only wishing to see her child grow and fly. I can feel her wind beneath my wings.

For quite some time now, I have been working from a more divine masculine perspective. There has been a strong warrior energy moving me forwards with force, passion and commitment, but with that energy there has also been impatience and a tendency to charge forth too hard, sometimes at the cost of ignoring or overriding other parts of me that need a softer approach. After our last gathering, I have been feeling a strong pull to shift to a more gentle approach. I feel Kundalini-Shakti inviting me into a deeper exploration of the aspects of the divine feminine, like a more nurturing, surrendering, and caring approach. Self-care is definitely on top of that list as one of the priorities I am being invited to look at. Just like you said, though, that is exactly where strong conditioning gets “illuminated” by the kundalini and I realise this is an area that has been stubbornly neglected by me due to a childhood that never supported a self-nurturing approach. I never really learned how to take care of myself, and as I dig deeper into that I also discover why it has been so hard for me to deprogram myself as an adult. A sense of shame has developed around the feeling of me not being able to properly take care of myself. In fact this shame has been so strong, I’ve avoided looking into that space for a long time and I have created all manners of identities around it to avoid other people seeing it as well. Here I’ve  been masquerading as a grown-up, but in fact I’m still just that emotionally abandoned kid walking around in an adult body, pretending I know what the heck is going on...

It’s taken a fair bit of processing, but once I was able to face the shame, I began to see those neglected parts of me that desperately need some TLC and that is where I feel my main focus should be right now, as well as allowing myself to feel into my natural boundaries. I’m beginning to discover now that if you listen, the body speaks, but it’s kind of a new language that takes some tuning into before the dialogue moves fluently. The things you suggested resonate strongly with me and I’m glad you mentioned avoiding intense meditations, because that’s something I’ve felt drawn away from, but wasn’t sure my pull was correct. I also really responded to “speaking to her gently”. That felt sublime and I’m already implementing it :-)

As a power animal, the beautiful snail has been coming to me frequently lately. With its perfect spiral on its backpack it’s reminding me to go SLOW, with the FLOW, at my own PACE. To stop when I am tired and walk when I feel the movement. One step at a time. Always staying close to the ground.

 I’m also wondering if you know of something I can read, for example on the internet, that might deepen my understanding of the Kundalini activation process? Nothing too long, like a book, because my mind can’t handle that at the moment, but something of manageable length and content. 


Me megali agapi,


In reply to by Anastasia


Thank you for sharing Anastasia.

It's really lovely to read about your discoveries and navigating this dance with Kundalini-Shakti. I find at times, 'personalising' the energy as an archetype image (Shakti) can be very helpful because it dissolves the sense that there is something 'happening to you' but rather that it is an aspect of you. And other times, it feels very supportive to drop any personifications and surrender to the unfolding as it is with a sense of curiosity, wonder and trust in the mystery of life.

Yes, all the conditionings, wounds etc will come forth more strongly to be illuminated, as well as our true nature, our soul, the 'no mind', the sublime, the onness...all at its own time. And the curiosity, wonder, deep acceptance and trust is an attitude offered to all experiences equally. Its so amazing how those very challenging movements (mental, emotional, physical etc) are part of the deconstructing process of identities. And I smiled reading how much clarity you now have  - as a result of being as present as poss with these challenging movements - about Self-care, caring for yourself and shame. Again, the invitation here is to embrace this realisation with the care it deserves. The little abandoned girl did her best with what she had at the time...And now the Soul is reclaiming the deeper truth... and kundalini is assisting in this, intensifying, illuminating, inviting and opening <3

Slow, Flow, Pace, listening to the body, listening to the Soul, being the snail are ALL beautiful qualities emerging and also assisting in going deeper. These are also qualities in the Ray 4 that Open mentioned, so you are already tuned in <3

There isnt a lot of clear, researched, accessible info on Kundalini out there to my knowledge, or at least not readily available. There is a lot of crap on youtube, so dont rely too much on the youtube bug! Open's research and experience is one source that has integrity and is accessible in the way it is shared. Let me also think about others that will be of benefit and get back to you.

Till then, all my love <3



Hi Marije, (and Open)

Thank you so much for sharing. I do resonate with you to a very high degree right now. Especially the fear of being labelled as a "mad" person or even worse - discovering I may actually be a mad woman.

You mention kundalini activation and my experience is that ever since my kundalini activated I have been on a steady path to a complete "mental breakdown". About 15 years ago, I witnessed a good friend of mine going "psychotic" due to a pre-mature kundalini activation. For the first few months, she suddenly had all these amazing spiritual experiences and she was describing different dimensions and also different levels and tests you had to go through on your journey in order to reunite with your soul mate or Twin Flame. (I so wish I could remember everything she told me, but it didn't all make sense to me back then). The problem was that with this sudden "opening", it also opened her up to a severe trauma that she had experienced in early adulthood. She had a near death experience with an abusive boyfriend who almost suffocated her to death in a fit of jealousy and anger when she tried to leave him. Even when she managed to get away from him, he kept stalking her for two years afterwards. She also experienced not getting any help from her family whilst going through this situation. She coped with it best she could of course, and continued her life suppressing the event into amnesia. When her kundalini suddenly activated, about 12 years later, so did the post traumatic stress she was carrying. And what I witnessed was that alongside the spiritual experiences, memories of the relationship began to activate. She had a growing paranoia, thinking she saw this guy everywhere and that he was stalking her and wanted to hurt her again. Her anxiety grew stronger and stronger and the benevolent voices she had been hearing before she now experienced as malicious, and eventually she literally started acting "crazy" and psychotic and I had to try and get her admitted to a hospital. I had no other idea of how to deal with something like this. How to help her. It was really intense and I have always wondered why I had to experience being the witness to something like this. Why it was me she turned to when all of this started to happen. When the drama was "over", and they came from the hospital to pick her up, something spiked my attention so hard, I still remember it clear as day: The car that pulled in to take her had the word SIRIUS written in big letters. When my friend saw it, she started laughing hysterically and suddenly exclaimed: "Yes, of course! I have to get Sirius (serious)!" The Universe was giving me my first clue.

So back to my mental breakdown after that detour. I've been feeling this happening for quite a while now. It's been on a milder level up until this summer with cetain cognitive functions beginning to break down and the brain not functioning quite as it used to. This summer, however with two intense Openhand retreats back to back, as well as a crazy summer of going through a thorough medical cancer investigation, going in and out of hospitals and institutions for all kinds of examinations, well I can honestly say, I am mentally (and physically) exhausted. The mild cognitive dysfunctions are now a full blown daily living reality. Short-term memory loss, loss of ability to plan and organise things, disorientation, sudden uncontrolled emotional outbursts of boundary setting in situations where I may have been more tolerant before, feeling the loss of mental control of where situations are heading etc. All of these used to be strong mental "skills" of mine that served my personal identity very well and that I took pride in. Having an excellent memory, being a hell of an organiser and structural planner, and especially the perception of being a "tolerant" person (basically someone who has emotional boundary issues and accepts other people's shit for way too long).

Well, all that is SHOT now, and there is nothing I can do but just accept the experience of it and see who I become when I can no longer identify with the intellectual strengths I had become accustomed to. FEAR was the first thing that came up. Afraid that slowly but surely I may have to accept that I may be headed for what society labels as mental disability or even worse, madness. Well, you can only live in fear for so long, so eventually I just accepted that as a possible scenario and felt the relief of just being ok with it - Come what may... (I feel a bit bad for my kids though if that were to happen, so still some more letting go there).

BUT, hard as it is, here is the silver lining of it all. This complete mental breakdown IS forcing me down a very important path. And I believe the destination is what you OPEN refer to as "The Sacred Ground of Being". My inability to activate and engage my mind the way I used to is actually helping me to start breaking down the incessant mind loops I would constantly get caught in. As soon as a mind loop starts to activate in my head, I instantly start to lose all my energy and this palpable energy loss is alerting me to the fact that I'm back in my head again. I have no other fricking choice but to pull myself out and start FEELING into my core again. Where is the real movement? What is the authentic emotion? Who is the real me? It is in fact the only place that works for me right now. Anything else just zaps my energy right out of me. I'm not saying it's easy to find, and most of the time I'm not there, but there is a subtle shift in focus that is beginning to happen inside of me. The allure of being able to control reality with my mind is actually starting to give way and it feels nothing but tedious and pointless when it starts ranting. The resistance is continually breaking down and I feel a stronger willingness to reach that place of deep inner surrender that may reveal that ever so subtle, almost intangible vibration, that I might begin to call

The Real Me


Further Marije, I just want to say that I love your "craziness" and it has been your freely unleashed expression that has encouraged me to unleash mine. The other day I walked past this painting. It made me smile as it reminded me of our beautiful Circle of Five and I knew there was a specific reason for me taking a picture of it.

It was to remind us of how free we felt with ourselves and with each other. Nothing crazy about it  Slightly SmilingHeart

It's called Whirlwind


Sisterly Circle



In reply to by Anastasia


Dear Madwomen ❤️❤️❤️,

In My fits of anger,well documented on Openhand web now 😀,I have again and again gone back to what you have written Anastasia about the Divine Masculine appearing and the distortions repeating too. And how to be soft and awake to that . 

And dear Marije ,Sirius Karma it seems jumps out at me as far as your experience with self censorship is concerned . 

And Anastasia ,that picture just lifted my heart like nothing else !! 

Thank you, for you, sweet woman. I am left speechless by your sharing. It is obvious your soul is becoming quite intolerant of remaining inauthenticity and wants to break free . I can just send a soft etheric hug to you as support. 

Lots of love,


In reply to by Anastasia


Anastasia, I felt to join you in this unfolding just before heading off to Glastonbury for Open's talk. I saw the lovely photo you shared, how sweet :) I love the red flowers embracing the whole landscape and also catalysing movement within the women and also out there in the environment...rooted in the Earth and ascending to the heavens....VERY interesting because thats how I see/feel Kundalini. Like a movement that roots, opening up downwards, and also expanding upwards.

You may find this supportive: My research and experience, as well as the research and experience of others in the field of 'Kundalini' shows that people experience this phenomenon depending on their background (history of traumas, karma, meditation practice and intensity, past openings, personalities etc) and configuration. Also, depending on whether they fear it, deny it, fight against it, or indulging in it and creating 'drama' around it. All these will exarcebate ones struggles...and this of course goes regardless whether one is experiencing Kundalini activation or not!

I totally feel for you with regards to the 'loss of cognitive functions' that you are experiencing. I had a phase when I couldnt focus or concentrate, had emotional outbursts and felt disorientated. And sometimes these happened when some deep layer of conditioning was surfacing in the moment to be seen. Its not easy and it all can happen either with Kundalini activation or without it. Its just that Kundalini is.... lets say...illuminating the whole thing! But usually, the 'loss of cognitive functions' passes, so making peace with the process will be very helpful. And...The 'real' you is all of you :) <3 <3

It looks like you are alerted and clearly recognising those mind loops (dramas) that are surfacing and you are allowing a deeper letting go to happen. To me this is about the break down of identities built on the drama of 'me'.  'Loosing energy' as you say here I see indeed, as a great gift:

As soon as a mind loop starts to activate in my head, I instantly start to lose all my energy and this palpable energy loss is alerting me to the fact that I'm back in my head again. I have no other fricking choice but to pull myself out and start FEELING into my core again.

What I and many others find very helpful with intense experiences, either kundalini related or not, is to ground and allow the energies to move. Explore stopping intense meditations, going out to Nature more, eating rich/dense food (avocados, legumes, tofu, grains etc), listening to relaxing music, using essential oils, drinking herbal teas, having massage and warm baths, talking to the energy gently and also feeling the natural breath (mindfulness).

And of course sharing in a supportive community is very helpful as we are all on the same boat and uniquely living the path. So, stay connected <3

With wise love,

<3 x



In reply to by Anastasia



Hello all you wonderful crazy women!!
Just now I felt so on the ground and then I read your messages. Thank you so much. And as for madness, put me in line.

Anastasia, you write - "The mild cognitive dysfunctions are now a full blown daily living reality. Short-term memory loss, loss of ability to plan and organise things, disorientation, sudden uncontrolled emotional outbursts of boundary setting in situations where I may have been more tolerant before, feeling the loss of mental control of where situations are heading etc."


and it feels like you're describing me. My whole life seems to turn upside down at the moment. I have confused and crazy dreams, which unfortunately I have not kept. Of what is happening around me, I only get parts of it. As if I only had one leg in this world. I don't know what the rest of me is doing.
I had just been on holiday for a week. The best moments were when I went for a walk alone. I enjoyed the roaring wind and the vastness of the sea.
When I came back, everything was wrong. The man I was living with couldn't please me. I was angry and irritated. I would have liked to have ripped his head off.

Even now that I am back home, I still feel restless and cannot concentrate. Fortunately, I still have a week off.

Marije, thank you for your courage to release and write down everything that moves you. You have encouraged me to show myself in my madness.

Megha, you are not only a mother to the children in your hospital but also to the great ones. Your loving warmth spills over the oceans to us. A warm embrace for you, also for what you wrote on my post.

Anastasia, what a beautiful picture - the dancing women in the red poppy field radiate joy and lightness, rising into Heaven.
I hope your tests have shown that everything is good for you. I keep my fingers crossed for you.

With love HeartHeart  Praying Emoji





In reply to by Dagmar


Dear Dagmar,

So glad you wanted to join us and share so openly. I’ve missed you Heart

Something jumps out at me from your sharing. You say “As if I only had one leg in this world”. I read this over and over a couple of times and then I suddenly remembered something that you shared with me in Bruge. I believe you said that for a long time you couldn’t feel either of your legs. Like you were disconnected from the entire lower half of your body (Am I correct?). It’s just an intuitive reflection of mine but perhaps these two experiences are related somehow(?), the feeling of not being able to feel one or both of your legs. You can just discard this if it doesn’t mean anything to you, but since it flashed so strongly for me, I felt to at least share it with you.

Thank you for your heartfelt concern. I have now finally been cleared from all suspicions of cancer. A lump in my lung along with some other physical symptoms caused a bit of a medical “craze”, and just about every part of my body was thoroughly examined and scanned. All they found though was a bacterial infection in my lung that is easily treated. Kundalini Activation was not on their list of possible diagnoses :-)

I hope you are able to enjoy your last week off 🙏

With sweet and Mad love ☺️


In reply to by Anastasia



Dear Anastasia,
that sounds good that the doctors found the reason for your malaise. Now all the Bakeries have to do is understand that they have no business in your lung. I'm sure they will very soon. Fingers Crossed

And you remember correctly. That's exactly what I told you in Bruge about the feeling in my legs.
How fascinating that this sentence spoke to you
- as if I have only one foot in this world -
When I wrote this sentence, I read it again briefly before I started the next one. And I thought "what a strange sentence". But because he was right, I left him standing. Although I had the feeling that I hadn't thought it myself. As if it had flowed through me and I had only written it down.

After reading your thought flashes a few times, I realized:
if I couldn't feel my legs earlier and can now say that I'm standing with one leg in the world - hey, then I've made progress! 50% more than before! Smliing

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing me your thoughts. It feels like an encouragement of the spiritual world that I should continue on this path, even if it is difficult right now.

And I wish you the same. Courage and strength for your way. Heart
Hearty embrace



Hi Marije - firstly to say, well done for having the courage to be open and transparent - this always goes a long way towards resolving any challenge. And certainly no one here thinks you're crazy! You sound very lucid and considered of what you're experiencing Heart

So many people live within the mind and identify with it. Or rather they've formed all manner of identites and fixed neural programming within it. This is their 'baseline' in life. But it is a humungous illusion! One that plays out time and time again every day, in all the routines that people live. What you're doing through the inner work is challenging the nature of that, breaking apart the rigidity of it. So that's bound to be destabilising.

This is going to amplify basic life processes and make them seem much harder than they actually are. If you're single for example, letting go of possessions, giving up your flat and moving elsewhere is not actually that difficult. Except that if the mind has built a value system around this construct, then yes, it will be challenging. But in a practical way, you have all the gifts and skills to readily master it.

One of the things we've been recently talking about (and here on the site) is what I'm calling The Sacred Ground of Being. This relates directly to what plenty of masters will have spoken about in the past and other philosophies. It's that feeling sense at the core of you which is your quintessence as you come into the source. This is the 'mast' around which to centre your consciousness. Then the grasp of the mind can weaken, and the construct unravel more easily. I would say this can help greatly in your current situation.

Keep going. It may seem like you have a mountain to climb, but really all you need is the first step in any given moment. If you can keep coming from the centre, then you'll find each step, one after another.

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Following my message above, I felt to share something here, though I am not actually sure what to share about, so it feels a bit challenging to just start writing here and see where it takes me. At the moment I am experiencing a bit of an overload of things happening in my life, though I am not sure whether it is mainly an anxiety triggered in my mind that makes it feel like an overload and it isn’t actually that bad. I can feel a lot of anxiety about unwinding my apartment and getting rid of my belongings and all the uncertain factors and what could go wrong. There is a lot of practical things to sort out right now and I can see how this is really pulling me into my mind and a doing mode, with my head spinning and worrying (in my mind I have already moved out 50.000 times in all sorts of different scenarios), which physically can feel like a strong headache. Rationally I know that it will all be fine, but emotionally I feel lots of tightness and I sometimes even wonder if all the worrying about the move is covering some deeper feelings underneath that I might not want to face. On the one hand the spinning mind makes me loose the connection with myself, but at the same time I can feel a lot of energy and the strangest sensations moving internally too. And then as I am trying to write this I can feel some strong sensations/tightness in my head as well as my lower back and waist, and the more I feel into that, the less I seem to be able to make sense of what I am trying to write here anymore. Which then somehow leads to a kind of internal censorship that I should better stop writing, because I can’t make sense of myself anymore anyway, and definitely not post this. Yet, I am trying to resist and feel into that censorship, which makes my head even tighten up further, almost if something is trying to stop me from proceeding (with what a part of me would judge as writing nonsense). As I try to stay with this, my whole body feels like it is freezing and there is discomfort and heat in my abdominal area and tightness in my throat. I can sense a lot of anxiety under the surface, though I am not sure about what. There is also a sense of my mind going blank when I get into the feelings and perhaps an anxiety around that, something about being able to make sense of things and situations, and without that feeling unsafe. And maybe it is not even really going blank, but rather not having the mind monitor all that is going on, such as monitoring and making sense of things as I am writing, in a way to control how I put myself out there and avoid negative judgements (persecution is the word that comes up). As I just wrote the word persecution I could feel my head tightening and anxiety and grief coming up.


Right, so that took me into quite a bit of deep processing and I am not sure I fully came through it yet. Lots of anxiety coming up around not feeling safe to express myself freely and possibly being labeled as mad or crazy and possible consequences of that, such as being put in a mental health institution or even being killed, which felt very karmic. Even in the processing I don’t feel fully free to let rip in case my neighbours might hear me and call the authorities. Only when I feel I am in a space where I can safely express, such as during Openhand events for example or otherwise when I am certain that nobody could see or hear me, can I fully let go and express relatively uninhibited. Even in the writing above, where the usual monitoring system of the mind wasn’t fully functional, it is the fear that someone visiting the Openhand website might brand me as this mad woman writing inconsistent gibberish that pushes all the tightness buttons and wants to censor the message or refrain from posting it altogether. So in my daily life in the matrix, my mind has developed a very intricate mechanism of control to 'keep me safe', and make sure there can be no reason for anyone to consider that I have gone mad and they need to send the authorities after me. And then towards the end of the processing there was something about kundalini activation coming up, as if there might be a subconscious fear that blocks kundalini activation, because at some point in time I was persecuted as a mad woman as a result of a kundalini activation.

It feels very tempting right now not to post this at all or at least read through it a few times to edit it into a ‘representable’ state, but to honour the process I will just post it as it is right now (which already makes me feel tight now). Who knows it might be helpful or resonating to someone reading this.


At the moment it feels like my process of transformation is fast tracking, with so many things moving in parallel and different triggers hitting me left, right and center. I already shared earlier in one of the other threads that the outcome of spending some time alone in the forest was the decision to finally move out of my country of birth to a yet unknown destination. Meanwhile I have ended the tenancy of my apartment here by 1 October, so it is getting real now with no more possibility of going back or postponing (as soon as I gave my notice, I could feel a huge knot in my stomach) and I only have a few more weeks left to unwind things here and get rid of most of my belongings. I keep on moving back and forth between feeling excited and liberated, and being absolutely terrified. If that wasn’t enough there is at the same time all sorts of triggers around relationships popping up from unexpected corners that I wasn’t really prepared for dealing with in parallel. I guess this is all happening at the same time for a reason, but it can sometimes feel a little overwhelming. Then, out of nowhere I have suddenly started making all sorts of interesting new connections with people here, who even themselves are commenting that it is such a pity that we are only getting to know each other when I am about to leave. Which almost feels as if the universe is trying to test me and my decision: ‘Are you really sure you want to be leaving this all behind?’ ‘Maybe this isn’t the right decision?’. Or is it actually possible that OC manifests such kind of tempting circumstances in an attempt to try and derail you? Though I have to say that so far there hasn't been much doubt about the decision yet, the way forward feels relatively solid, even if unknown.

And then on Thursday night I had a weird dream, which I only remember a few snippets of. In the dream I was busy selling my belongings and because through eBay someone was coming to buy something, I was cleaning things. I was hoovering a white rug with threads at the ends, when I saw something dark in the threads, which turned out to be a tarantula spider! I started screaming and the people that were with me (Openhanders?) started laughing at/ridiculing me, but nobody really did anything to help. Then suddenly Openhanders Nic and Sam appeared from around a corner and my hopes were immediately on Nic as someone who would know how to deal with the spider. Nic just picked it up with his bare hands and put it into a small plastic sandwich bag. Unfortunately I don’t remember much more of the dream than this. Then last night I unexpectedly ended up staying overnight at friends, sleeping on the floor in their living room next to a big plant and its shade against the white wall behind it, ended up being another big tarantula in my dreams. I am curious why tarantulas seems to be popping up in my dreams this week in relation to what is currently moving in my life…


So what exactly do I mean by the "Transmutation" of our consciousness, so as to align with the Earth Shift? I think this video sharing captures the essence pretty well, along with the Openhand Bow Meditation which has been adapted from the ancient Kriya Yoga (of Paramahansa Yogananda lineage) and is highly effective...



Hi Vimal - that doesn't sound so much like a shadow identity as false self ego. The two are quite different. A shadow identity is one that understands and mimics the soul, and so there has to be a good degree of witnessing to coax it out. To me, what I would reflect to you, is that this sounds more like ego, not wanting to give up.

The point is, there has to be a moment of realignment (what I spoke of as the transition into Gateway 2), where there's a complete surrendering into the soul, and going with that, whatever the outcome.

When you're moving into and reaching that point, it's actually quite straightforward - not easy, but straightforward. You just have to go with the first impulse and essentially ignore the overriding of the mind. You simply can't make a mistake (in life) at this point. The key is simply to challenge and breakdown the ego. If you keep confronting it directly, it eventually gives up and breaks down.

So the question is, do you really want to break it?

It may sound like an obvious question - just about everyone would say, "yes!"
But, often, so long as they don't have to do anything risky, like change location, give up a job, let go of a relationship. You reach this point where you simply know there's no point in resisting. It only brings more suffering, whatever the apparent initial cost.

If you know you're not at this place of complete surrender yet, that's okay. But it's important to be honest with oneself about that. Or else the mind simply creates more plausible excuses and reasons why not. Just be clear, "I'm not ready yet". Then watch, keep watching. At some point the realisation dawns that continued resistance doesn't help at all. There comes this place of complete surrender - that would be Gateway 2, realignment. I'd say that's what's being invited now.

Wishing you well

Open HeartPraying Emoji

In reply to by Open


Part of reason, the mind doesn't want to give up is that it worries if it will be passive surrender and thus wasting away time. There's also a holding on to the feeling of excitement and enthusiasm. I understand that I can't make a mistake and what needs to happen will happen. Maybe I could as you say follow the first impulse and see what giving up or even wasting time feels like.

Also I can't honestly see any big step like giving up job etc that's being invited of me. Maybe I already made the necessary step prior to this? And maybe for some, realignment is more gradual and less dramatic. 

Thankyou for your reflection ❤️

In reply to by Sky


Hi Vimal - I think as everyone encounters on the path, the ego can sabotage in different ways that conflict and obscure each other - pulling in different directions.

Some while ago you had an exploration about your passion. Where is that now? What really drives your soul? What do yearn for? If there were no constraints at all, what would you do right now?

Best wishes

Open Praying Emoji

In reply to by Open


Hi Open,


I like the way you reflect back alternatively the importance of both surrender and passion, never settling in one or the other.

Today I guess, I saw another facet of this dance between those two and the egos resistance in both.

To answer your questions, there are many things that draw my attention and energy nowadays.

One is connection with nature. I'm blessed with some space to do some organic gardening where I stay now. I can see some purpose, love and direction in it. A lot of perfectionism and attatchment to outcome and rigid thinking has diminished in it giving way for more acceptance for what I have and thus innovating inside it. So I'm more concentrated in the feeling side of it, rather than what I'm creating. I could say it's the feeling of connection, enthusiasm that I love more than the activity itself.

Another one is travelling. Some while back you had relfected to me the importance of feeling into the sense of adventure and thus expressing that beingness into the immediate environment rather than coming from an identity. I'm grateful for that reflection. So I'm more exploring more into that and how that opens up new opportunities and places that I havnt known before. About a month back, after an illuminating and rejuvenating trekk, an opportunity came my way and I was wondering how will I support myself in it. Immediately I got call from a preschool asking me to teach there agreeing to my conditions. It was an illuminating experience, how expressing authentic beingness can open up doors, if it needs to happen.

So I'm 'teaching' partime in this place. I love the connection with kids, which can get exremely challenging at times. I'm seeing how the fear of authority makes me behave a certain way, restricted and inauthentically. I believe this fear has been conditioned to me from very early days. So maybe its also an opportunity to unravel it.

I also love playing guitar and singing. A big change I'm seeing in that is how nowadays I'm playing it for me rather than for others. So less perfectionism again and more chance to learn, innovate and challenge myself naturally. I guess our love and passion is always there but it's is subjugated, controlled, put into a rigid box by our expectation and its possible to unravel it by unravelling the rigidity inside. Not in anyway saying that I found the flow through these things and I'm always in it! Just recollecting and celebrating some breakthroughs. 

I could speak about some more stuff that motivates me, but that's enough I have already taken up enough space. 

After the webinar yesterday and today I felt the flow came to a halt and so did any inspiration to do anything. Yesterday I was full of resistance thus going back to the old behaviors. Today I went into the feelings of nothingness and how it was inviting me to be. Thus not resisting the not so glamours task that I had to do. Interestingly an inspiration sparked in the middle of such a mundane task giving way more soulful feelings. 


Vimal 🙏



There's something in me that just want to give up, surrender and lie down. I know its a shadow identity. It's a way to protect me from the pain and catastrophe. But paradoxically pain and anxiousness can only increase when I'm trying to avoid it. Yet there is another part which is the aligned one which is passionate and wants to engage in the world. There's a thin gap between these two where the mind takes over and over analysis everything maybe to avoid mistakes and protects itself. The mind wants also to know everything in advance and perfects itself but the true impulse just needs the first step to initiate momentum and the flow will carry on from there. Maybe there's truth in the shadow identity. There's inertia especially I observe in the morning where I simply don't want to get up from the bed. I believe this is years of conditioning where I used to do those things for the sake of fitting in and belong and not get rejected and appear odd. Maybe the truth in the shadow identity is comfort and contentment. So I work to give myself all the rest and entertainment I need yet take the step to engage in the world. Especially since I clearly see that holding back and taking the safe shore of the intellect can never truly fulfill or avoid pain. So it's much better to take the centre stream than watch from the sidelines. 


Hi Hannah,

That's great news! It's okay if you notice fear contracting you down again, as long as we witness it and quickly work through it, as you are. It becomes a powerful driver for deep alchemical change.

Rock on!

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Thank you Open for this article and the new video, very inspiring! 

I've noticed this for me as a strong change in energy since the summer school, wanting to take 'center stream' and not compromising the soul anymore. Of course I also contract back into fear constantly by new challenging circumstances that arise because of this, but I feel able to expand out of it way faster. I'm uncovering myself and in a way it feels like a journey back in time, because part of me is just continuing were it left off as a kid, picking up stuff again that made my heart sing (like playing the guitar!).

rock 'n rolling on down the stream Sign Of The Horns