9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Karma in our Ascension

Submitted by Open on Thu, 10/08/2015 - 06:21

I'm hearing from people around the world that the path is taking you deep into process. My heart is with you! Fear not, it is necessary. You can't truly Ascend into the New 5D Paradigm without regressing into and processing karmic 'Source Pain'. This is subconscious conditioning that projects out into your world and has a disharmonious impact on your life. It's unavoidable, this karma brought souls here in order to confront such limitation and evolve through it - the only way out is through! Such spiritual breakthrough comes with an enormous sense of well-being, rejuvenation, empowerment and Ascension.

Here's Openhand's detailed approach to processing karmic trauma when it activates...

The True Nature of Spiritual Healing

It's crucial to understand the true nature of spiritual healing: that ALL energetic pain and discomfort is caused by some form of identification with reality - some need or attachment to reality being a certain way. When in fact you are the One, that can allow ALL conditions and situations to exist without needing to change them.

When you can fully accept a particular situation in your life and not need it to go away, you empower yourself as The One in the situation. Paradoxically, that's when it can truly resolve and miraculous healing can take place.

A healer can remove the energetic effects of internal disharmony and the pain will go away. However unless the original cause of the problem has not been realised by the client, then the problem will simply reappear elsewhere in the being but in a different guise. That's why all true spiritual healing MUST include the assisted self-realisation aspect by the person being healed.

Confront the Attachment in order to Let Go

It's by applying this defining philosophy at Openhand over many years on courses and retreats around the world that we've developed our 9 Step Spiritual Healing Process. It's all about helping you regress into your karmic pain, work with it, then breakthrough it into a more expanded state of being. This is taken from the Openhand book 5GATEWAYS: a profound spiritual routemap:

Openhand 9-step Healing Approach

1. Confront the situation: you must first accept and completely acknowledge the truth of what is happening in your world. Get thoroughly used to observing yourself and accepting responsibility for your feelings in relation to what is going on in the situation. If you get tight, angry or wound up, acknowledge it. If someone is steamrollering your truth and that feels unpleasant, witness that too. Do not shy away from, or paper over, any inner retraction caused by events and other people in the outside world. By the Law of Attraction you have manifested them anyway, so as to confront and break through such a limitation. Embrace that.

2. Regress deeply into the feelings of the situation: it may not be appropriate for you to deal with the feelings in the moment they are coming up - you could be at work for example, in public or looking after your children. It is important not to suppress and dissolve the feelings, but rather to contain them: you get the sense that they are inside you, but you are on top of them and can manage them. When the timing is more appropriate (and as soon as possible), regress yourself deeply into the feelings once more: see the images, feel the feelings, let them come up inside.

3. Honour and express the pain: essentially this source pain is caused where your soul identifies somehow with the illusion of separation and the need for a particular outcome – where the soul is not self-realised (not realising of the One). However, if you honour the pain by fully expressing it in some way, then you become 'as-one' with it – you relocate the lost nugget of soul gold that was buried there and you reintegrate as the One. Honouring the pain might mean shouting and screaming, crying, rolling up into a ball, beating a punch bag or cushion, writing a journal or dancing and moving. Listen to your soul, and do whatever you feel given to do.

4. Break through with presence: when the source pain is at its height, when you can truly locate and feel it within your body, such that it is becoming excruciating, then paradoxically, you are ready to become the One through it; you are on the very precipice of presence. Remind yourself that all experience is relativistic and therefore transient – it does not define who you are. What you are, is absolute pure potential, beyond the pain. At this point, there will be some key (such as a word, mantra, a visualisation or symbolic metaphor) to help you ‘open the door’ through the density and into presence. If you are not sure what that is, ask the universe and you will be shown.

5. Feel the light of the soul: when you’ve stepped into the sense of presence, then you are really processing and letting go of the density – it is like you are stirring the bed of the stream in which the nuggets of soul gold have become buried. Now you will be able to see and feel the glint of the soul as it is being liberated. It will be a sense of lightness, completeness, confidence, strength, surrender; you may feel it as a light or warmth beginning to flow into the body, through the previous restriction. Now focus on, and give energy to, this new sensation. It is like pouring fuel on an igniting flame – it grows stronger.

6. Dissolve the source pain: you are now ready to truly dissolve and fully release that aspect of source pain. Whilst staying in the sense of Pure Presence, intuit how your connection with your emerging soul, can best process the dense energy of the source pain. You have to remain soft and expanded, so that you do not tighten down out of the energy that causes the pain. So stay expanded through it, containing it within your consciousness, but then use whatever meditation comes to you to remove it. It could be a particular form of breathing, movement and dance, or it could be a visualisation. Let your intuition carry you – it already knows what best to do.

7. Contemplate deeply any conditioned behaviours: the source pain will have built up conditioned behaviours (as spoken of in Gateway 2). Now deeply contemplate what conditioning – what distortions – the source pain has caused in your life. Maybe, for example, you were needy of others? Or perhaps too competitive and aggressive. See yourself within those behaviours, being totally honest with yourself about them (reminding yourself, if necessary, that you are not to blame for them). It can help to write them down in a journal.

8. Visualise yourself interrupting the behaviours: in motivational and spiritual circles, people often speak of visualising the outcome or behaviour you would like to have happen. The risk is though, that this just becomes another level of programming. Instead, see yourself interrupting the behaviours that have emanated from the source pain. As you get increasingly sensitive, you will begin to actually feel the density and any fixed neural pathways. With a sense of surrendered will, you can begin to break these apart and literally dissolve them within. It's what's called "neuroplasticity" - crafting 3D mind to be your friend and ally.

9. Become surrendered openness, attune to authentic beingness: as the density and conditioned behaviours have been dissolved inside, increasingly you settle into an awesome place of surrendered openness: you feel expansive, peaceful, whole and complete. You are now much more able to interrupt the old behaviours in daily life and open up through them. Spontaneous acts of authentic beingness then begin to magically flow through you, which are totally right and befitting of the moment. It is like you become less an identity, and more a moving flow of consciousness through life. This is pure joy of living! (I have written more about the qualities of authentic beingness that start to come through, and to which you can give energy, in Gateway 4).

Our Journey of Ascension

These are turbulent times. So don't worry if you find yourself frequently getting into rough processing periods. It is necessary in order to confront the limitations of the old consciousness. Know that you are not alone - people the world over are working through this density in their journey of Ascension. Just seize the courage to confront and soften into your inner density - in which case, that particular phase will be over before you know it. And always remember, each breakthrough process comes with that tremendous sense of recovering a deeper aspect of yourself - becoming ever more of YOU!

Here's Openhand's defining video on the true nature of spiritual healing...

If you resonate with Openhand's healing approach, get involved with our work within the 5D Ascension Program. It's perfectly crafted to meet these times of transformation on the planet...

The 5D Ascension Program

In loving support,

Open Praying Emoji💎

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24/02/2024 Shift Update - Processing Karma

Right now I'm leading we're amidst an Openhand Facilitator Conference looking at the key energetic dynamics of what's happening in the field and on the planet in the Shift. It's clear that a swathe of humanity is now beginning to cross the karmic plane, within themselves.

How do you recognise and process karma when it comes up?

I've outlined Openhand's 9 Step approach above. Since it's highly poignant at these time, I encourage all to review...


9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Karma in our Ascension

Do feel free to share what's arising for you right now and I'll happily share an intuitive reflection.

Bright blessings

Open 💎


In reply to by Open


Hi Open,

I would like to respond to the invitation and share what I'm dealing with, at this moment. In the feeling sense it comes across as abandonment. And what's more to it - that there is no particular trigger or something "out there" that would abandon me. Just that feeling of being dropped at the hidden corner of the Universe and working my way out towards finding some familiarity to my beingness. But hey, I've been climbing out with considerable engagement and I might have wronged myself with the illusion, that there has been some progress. 

So what are the reflections that I've been drawing to myself?

I am witnessing Souls that are mesmerized by "my presence", but don't really know how to engage with it. Some of the awakening people might only be able to twist it, so as to fit within the "spiritual half-truths" that they believe in.  And for those, that mostly operate within the program of human conditioning, I am recognized as the "wasted potential". Someone that had it all and was meant to succeed, but failed miserable in the woods... Obviously, the (non)manifested capacities of my previous human engagements, still touch me to a degree. It's been a process of learning how to withdraw from human connections that asked for my "spiritual energy" just to feed the particular agenda.

At least, I am blessed to connect with the partner that can comfortably sit with me in the open field of presence. So there's been some progress, after all.

I recognize particular distortions in regards to those reflections. "Fallen spiritual guide", strong imposter syndrome on the Ray 6. Not that I ever consciously wanted to be spiritual teacher in this lifetime, but there's definitely been the tendency to avoid human conflicts by (prematurely) drawing into the bubble of spiritual enlightenment. It's been the conscious choice for me all along the way, as buddhist would say: "Wear the mask of enlightenment until you would recognize, that you can not take it off anymore." Is it about time?

There is also a sense of broken-heartedness with it all. As, if I have expected the human life and its evolutionary journey to be something else, rather than  what is being perceived through my current lenses. There just doesn't seem to be harmonious space and resolution for everyone on board. It makes me feel incapable of blending my own Truth with it all. Is there truly a way through the Eye of a needle? 

So back to my karmic feeling - how do I abandon myself in the given moment? 

It feels like there is still some of the burden/heavy load, that I carry within myself. There is part of me, that is in the need of empathizing with the amount of suffering happening out there in the world. I hear that voice -  "Stop complaining, you opted for that red pill and now take the consequences, along with everyone else on that journey". And therefore in those subtle moments of human interaction, I tend to withdraw myself. It still feels more safe to simply blend with the energy of another and deny the impulses coming from the Soul.

What I could truly feel within this blockage is mostly the yearning to gather the momentum in order to fully liberate myself. There is at least some sense of hope that I would eventually be met by the feeling of Soul family and "taken out of here". If only, I am able to stretch my hand far enough from that "abandoned corner of the Universe", that Life had thrown me into. 

There is a quote from your last post that speaks strongly into my process of dealing with karma.

Right now I'm leading we're amidst an Openhand Facilitator Conference

Often times on my journey I'm not sure, whether I'm leading my karmic processing or is it just happening through me, in connection to all of those that are in the same boat on this journey. How much does it matter to have an answer, as long as the unravelling is taking place?

I am off to planting trees, that's currently the closest reflection in bringing some of my energy to the epitome of processes I tend to be engaged into. 🌱  

Thanks for activating some of those inquiries within me and I wish you a fruitful completion of the gathering. Praying Emoji

Miha 🌳



In reply to by miha


It's a rich enquiry Miha for sure - and reveals a great deal about crossing the karmic plane 👍

I definitely have some reflections to offer, which come straight out of the new Openhand Book, RESURRECTION.

To me, two key things stand out: 1) Crossing the Karmic "Red Sea" within, and standing on the precipice of complete absolution. 2) The Wounded Healer/Teacher that got tempted a degree from fully dropping into the presence - due to external worship of the energy you were transmitting.

As the Soul journeys to the Source, it will come to the "precipice" of completing diving into the absolute. Here are the final temptations of identity, the final self-deceptions and imposters of the Soul. The Being has been conditioned to expecting to fulfill something as it comes to the Source - or that some magic new manifestation will happen or some new light. And so there's a final allurement manifested that reflections this "teetering on the brink". So for example, the Being becomes recognised as a powerful channeler of divine light, and then celebrated as a healer/teacher. A subtle identity then crystallises around that state. But to be clear, it is not the state of the Absolute.

It's at this point the Soul will also create the experience of abandonment, or being "cast out" - or else deceived, so that there can be the final surrender into absolute presence. Which is when the real work can begin - the real journey.

I would say the answer is to oberserve the tempation by the external manifestation, but to break that external pull for some final satisfaction. Sit in the crucible of the unresolution. Until the bubble bursts and there's the final absolution.

See how that reflection resonates and what it might trigger.

Much love and well wishes

Open 💎

In reply to by Open


Oh, that mysterious Soul. Kissing

Just as I started having a feeling of ultimately befriending it, there is obviously the sense of being cast out, once more. Anyhow, it makes me even more grateful for that sense of gatekeeping - making sure that what comes back to the Source is really pure.

Thanks for the reflections Open, that sense of sitting with the unresolution really helps. When I'm dropping the need to catch any particular feedback loop, I could feel as if the energy is being retrieved within myself. When I look back, just how much time did I spent worrying and engaging with problems, that are not really mine... And then paradoxically, as I am internally distancing from those situations, they tend to somehow find its own way of realigning. It feels really refreshing to give this subtle spiritual identity some break and maybe it can retire soon. 

#meanwhile hearing the music in the background:

Give your all to me,

I'll give my all to you,

You're my end and my beginnin'

Even when I lose, I'm winnin'  #


I hear you, dear Soul. We are on your magical mystery ride. Let's just keep going. 🎢🌌

Big gratitude and heartfelt greetings Praying Emoji



In reply to by miha


This inquiry and exchange have been particularly illuminating and inspiring to me, thank you both. Also, couple interesting synchros: when you said "wasted potential" i had literally just used those words to sum up my own life only just a few days ago, and had been singing that John Legend song at that time too! I see it as what you are experiencing is something i need to pay attention to. All the best on your journey!Praying Emojibarb  

In reply to by Open


This morning I had to go to the bank to cash in an investment to pay for some up coming travel.  As I was getting ready to go, I was starting to feel a lot of anxiety about using a lot of money that was for a "rainy day".  Then a thought came, before going to the bank it would be good to do the bow and work into these feelings as this was karma coming up.  Then this thought it was ancestral karma, and then a thought yes but it was definitely mine too.  It was as if my higher self had dropped these thoughts in one after the other for me to notice.

As I was preparing to sit down and do the bow I tuned in to see exactly what I was feeling and where.  And I noticed whatever was there was gone.  This made no sense so I sat down in meditation to see if something would come up.  I felt lots of higher dimensional energy and everything felt really good.  So I focused my attention on going to the bank and cashing in the investment to see if this would bring everything back up.  This time I could feel this was travel I was meant to do, the money to pay for it now is in this investment so that's the money I'm meant to use.  I didn't understand at the mental level but everything felt really right so I went back to my general meditation.   Soon after I started feeling the energy wanted to move now to go to the bank.  I wasn't done meditating so at first I ignored it but the energy to move got stronger so I decided it was best to follow the flow.

As I was getting into my car I noticed a feeling of nervousness.  I tuned in thinking maybe the karma was still there after all.  But this time I realized I was nervous there might be a problem at the bank cashing the investment.  I told myself it was a waste of my energy to be nervous about something that might not even happen and that if there was a problem I'd deal with it then.  Poof, the nervous feeling went away in an instant.  I went to the bank confident, knowing this was the right thing to do and everything went fine.

I have absolutely no idea what occurred.  It feels like my acknowledging the karmic pain of my ancestors helped them be seen and felt.  Then when communicated (I thought to myself but maybe they were telepathically listening in) that it had been passed on to me so I needed to work on it for me as well as them, they didn't want that and were ready to set down the baggage and did just that in an instant.  Whatever this was, it feels like something really magical happened.

Any reflections are welcome.

Ann Praying Emoji


29/03/2023 Shift Update - Karmic Healing

I'm on retreat here in Sydney and the work is going tremendously well - it's a lovely group of souls all digging deep and peeling back the layers. Yesterday I spoke about how there's a global activation of our volcanoes as the infusing galactic energy heightens and the pole shift lowers the earth's magnetic shield. Well you can work with this activting energy by empathically feeling it so as to start activating and breaking down the karma you now need to be dealing with...

Today in Sydney we'll be doing just this - calling on the infusing energies to activate karma so we may process it out. If you think you've got karma activating right now, then do check through Openhand's 9 Step Approach above. It breaks down for you how to work with it in manageable steps

9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Karma in our Ascension

If you'd like any reflections for what's going on with you right now, do share in commentary below. I'd be delighted to offer an intuitive ilumination.

Bright blessings

Open 💎


04/07/2022 Openhand Journal Update

When undertaking spiritual healing it's essential to understand the two key aspects of it and to take ownership as the One. Otherwise, a lasting solution will not happen. The problem will simply reoccur but in another guise. For a complete overview on the nature of true spiritual healing, check out the video below on retreat with Openhand. If you resonate, then scroll up and review the lead article on Openhand's 9-step spiritual healing approach...

Bright blessings

Open 💙


So insightful. Really needed to read thst today. I’m going through the dark night or the soul…. Again. 😱🤪

So thankful

Namaste 💝



I am working on processing karmic implants a lot with several therapist. Lot´s of grief, sadness, anger coming up. But can you work through the density on your own in meditation? Going through big catharsis on your own? Releasing old stuff

In reply to by Stian Solheim … (not verified)


Hi Stian - yes of course, we can go it alone in the processings. Plenty of times it's going to be a good thing for people to do that. It makes sure that you're taking your own alignment and guidance from within. But working with a facilitator helps at times too - especially when you're in complex karmic situations or with regards to intervention. We are after all social creatures, and so we draw to each other other beings by which to generate illuminating and transformative reflections.

Bright blessings

Open 🙏


30/11/2021 Openhand Journal Update

This is a time of deep spiritual healing for those on the path, and the processing of challenging human karma - that's what's creating the challenges we're witnessing in society right now. Let's not forget, that the collective co-created the conditions in order to activate karma and then to work through it - allowing for example very dubious and shady people to decide what goes into your body!! More and more people around the planet are waking up, taking ownership and empowering themselves not to comply. I can feel this as a growing wave - blessed be!

With this in mind, I felt to direct attention to Openhand's 9-step spiritual healing process, which has been highly successful in helping thousands of people breakthrough. You could view it as an expansion of the 4-step Breakthrough process. It's looking deeper into all the levels, including "neuroplasticity", where you're breaking down the fixed neural pathways that emanated from the karma - once the karmic roots are gone, then the bodymind can be crafted to support soul infusion and flow.

9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Karma in our Ascension

Blessings to all

Open 💙🙏



I love this! And it all came to me in the perfekt time!  Not Long ago I started my spiritual Journey, and whats better to have this book with me as a tool! Im gonna go to a New place, where I dont have any attachments, and Just be with me for 3 weeks!

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! Youre a golden treasure! 


Spiritual healing can be defined in several ways. It can pertain to the practice wherein one person (i.e., a spiritual healer) heals other people of their physical or emotional illness through prayer or meditation. This is also sometimes called ‘faith healing’. Commonly, it includes the transference of spiritual energy from the healer to the sick person through touching or the ‘laying on of hands’.

In reply to by Eric Alsterberg (not verified)


Greetings Eric - nice to hear from you.

The Openhand view on that is a degree different - vive la differance! Firstly our view is that you can't truly heal spiritually unless there is self-realisation at a soul level - so a healer might take away the energy that constitute the symptoms, but not necessarily the cause - fragmentation at a soul level. However what a good healer can do, is to resonate soul frequency by embodying energy themselves. I don't personally believe there is 'transferral' of energy though. Because energy is consciousness - why would one transfer your consciousness to the other? Surely the purpose to bring their own consciousness alive and awake?

Possibly it's just how the mind processes what's actually going on. So here we see it as resonating 'tuning forks'. I resonate a tuning fork with my vibration which has some resonance with yours. It causes yours to wake up and also resonate. But crucially, with YOUR own frequency, not anyone elses.


Open Praying Emoji


I felt to feature this article today - there's plenty of people I'm hearing from out there processing past life karma. You might also be, without necessarily knowing it. Often sudden pains and peculiar tightness appear as if from nowhere. Or else you find yourself in reptitive and challening patterns in relationships, or a sudden difficulty manifests - lack of resources for example. These could all be reflective that karma is activating. In which case it's essential to get to the bottom of it to clear the blockage and unleash harmomnious flow once more.

So if any of what I've shared resonates with you, do check the article by scrolling to the top...


9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Subconscious Trauma and Karma



Dear Open, Rich, Megha,

thank you so much for your stepping in and bringing up so many aspects of responsibility and authenticity.

Throughout many lifetimes i was what i call "the ever persecuted mystic", always carrying secret knowledge and consequently being in trouble a lot. I feel that standing up to my authentic self and shining my full light is something that creates tension with all these past lifes, where i would have endangered myself.

I see clearly now that everyone is responsible for their healing process and that i can hold the space and assume the "responsibility" - by living in my heart - for the smooth processing of karma. However, i do not look at taking this kind of responsibility as a burden anymore but much more as a divine privilege that i am humbly willing to accept. That exploration feels very liberating.

And all this for my birthday :) a truely magical present. Much love from Africa.


Hi Rich,

Some real gems there, thanks for sharing Thumbs Up Sign

This stood out...

Perhaps you can explore expressing your power while still remaining humble? Be careful with this because 'being humble' can also become an ego identity. But if you can drop the tightness around being in your power, and any need for approval from others, then perhaps being humble will arise naturally. 

That's the point - ego and shadow identities will try to own all aspects and authentic expressions of soul. Being humble doesn't mean to take off your wings, but perhaps knowing exactly when to unfold them!

And with bringing up children...

It triggers some kind of parental responsibility to show her - whats coming up now is 'if I don't show her then she won't learn because I doubt anyone else will make the effort'. 

This is a 'biggie' - the perception that if 'we don't show our kids how to be in society, then we've failed'. And this leads to the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle!) projection of how they should be. This is where it becomes necessary to confront all ones own conditioning of what's 'right' in the matrix. She will indeed change her eating behaviour, but right now, this would appear to be her natural expression. Have you considered that the messiness might be a subconscious reaction to the family change? To your absence?

Powerful explorations indeed

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hi Open and everyone,

I seem to be in a brief phase of realignment where there are more aligned out situations manifesting for after processing some stuff. However, there are still ongoing Karmic distortions - they seem to come in waves.

For me there seems to be a fair bit of karma associated with Sirius at the moment. 

Firstly, I totally resonate with what Megha said in another thread about not being heard. Being ignored has been a major button pusher for me. As has been rejection of my ideas if I can clearly see that someones pattern is causing them suffering or is not aligned.

And this ties in with another Karmic exploration - that of control. One specific situation as an example. We are trying to teach my 7 year old daughter a few basic table manners. The 'problem' is that the way she eats she ends up with food all over her face, over the table, her clothes and often on the floor. Yet she is stubbornly refusing to change any of her habits because they are comfortable for her. I can see that I have a need to control the situation and to impose a reality onto her. Ultimately I can see that there is no need for her to change if she is happy with getting everything messy. However, it triggers some kind of parental responsibility to show her - whats coming up now is 'if I don't show her then she won't learn because I doubt anyone else will make the effort'. 

So this also leads into an emotional need to be a part of the family unit. As I've separated from my partner in the last year, there has been a feeling of being emotionally 'cast aside'. It's also reflected in my reaction when the kids don't want me near them (especially if I'm not able to see the reason) or in both my ex-partners and my kids apparently not caring whether I'm there or not.

There are other things - as I said a lot coming up at the moment - but I'll leave it at that for now. 



Hi Thomas,

You said:


 The same with the refusal of fully unfolding the angelic wings and the subsequent pain in the back, where they are attached - that's because I make myself smaller than I actually am. My ego (or is it really the soul?) prefers to stay small and unimportant, that's safer. Is that being afraid of arrogance? Being scared that my future success will go to my head? I have the idea that i've had great power in another life and did not use it in a responsible way, costing me my life. Now there is the avoidance and lack of acceptance of my true self with all its powers.


I can certainly relate to this. I have exactly the same pain in the back and have had the same explorations around using the power I have. To your question about whether it's the ego or the soul that prefers to stay small and unimportant - I would reflect to you that perhaps you can find both in this. If you're attached to this and it's bringing up tightness and fear to unfold your wings then sure, that's something we could call ego and can be let go of. However, I would say there's also a deeper truth behind it. Perhaps you can explore expressing your power while still remaining humble? Be careful with this because 'being humble' can also become an ego identity. But if you can drop the tightness around being in your power, and any need for approval from others, then perhaps being humble will arise naturally. 

Something else to explore would be to ask the question, 'what is your natural expression?' and then, 'if this is expression arises naturally, without being forced, then what need would you have to either elevate yourself or put yourself down?'

If I may also share a brief article on responsibility I wrote some time ago. I hope it helps: http://www.comebacktothesource.com/articles/are-you-responsible-for-other-peoples-suffering

Best wishes,



I am so with you Thomas ! I often feel the surge of power when I am being myself that is often usurped by needing to become smaller as I ear how big ,influential I know it's possible for me to be. I need to remind myself recurrently to be authentic whether I am perceived either larger than life or not . 


Deep love through the ether ! 



Yes it makes sense Thomas.

I often obeserve the fear people have in the emergence of soul, because it is so alchemical. It challenges the status quo. It breaks things down and transforms things. Hence the sense of responsibility.

But neither must that hold us back. There's a balance. Let the emergence of soul happen - but let the outer feedback reflections invite greater accuracy and alignment of expression.

In yourself, that will challenge where the ego tempers the natural authenticity. This is the inner density to be worked through.

I trust that makes sense.

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hey Open,

My goodness, there is an inner avalanche going off with what you said. I think i intelectually understand what you mean, holding space is something i really like to do for others. However, internally the word 'responsibility' rings loudly and i think this excavated the karma that is now presenting itself in plain sight.

I am afraid to accept myself in my true size because I know inside that I am more than I am willing to admit. I know that I have a big life plan with a lot of responsibilities and at a rational level I know well that I can handle it, get closer step by step and have a decent amount of time at my disposal. The same with the refusal of fully unfolding the angelic wings and the subsequent pain in the back, where they are attached - that's because I make myself smaller than I actually am. My ego (or is it really the soul?) prefers to stay small and unimportant, that's safer. Is that being afraid of arrogance? Being scared that my future success will go to my head? I have the idea that i've had great power in another life and did not use it in a responsible way, costing me my life. Now there is the avoidance and lack of acceptance of my true self with all its powers. 

Does that make sense?


Hi Thomas,

Great to hear from you - warm greetings to Malawi Victory Hand

Yes we're getting very deep into karma here in Byron. One of the things you realise when you facilitate plenty of it, is that it comes with a great deal of responsibility. Because it destablises where the psyche was previously settled even; even if it was in karmic distortion, nevertheless, it was (in most cases) coherent and settled. So often you take people through a break down of this previously settled state. Now as long as you lovingly hold the space with solidity and confidence, they'll pick that up in you and process through. But the facilitator will witness dramatic and traumatic past life situations and so needs to be solid through it - otherwise the conditions exist for it to breakdown but without solidly processing through. So possibly its the responsibility of that you might be feeling?

Wishing you wll

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Hi Open,

awesome to hear that there is a lot of Energy going on in Byron Bay. There are so many karmic themes coming up in the last couple of months that i can barely keep up with treating them. It's like the floodgates are wide open and Karma is just pouring in wanting to be released.

My Situation here in Mali is giving me lots of opportunities for growth, as some of you know, i do actually construct a house which possibly could in future serve as a retreat Center something connected to healing. I know this is my purpose.

However, the more i advance with my healing skills, the more it becomes obvious to me that somewhere deep down inside i am scared of and hesitant (or doubting?) doing healing work, and feel like always being insufficiently prepared or not yet ready yet to work directly with human beings. I know from recent experciences that i can do powerful hands on healing and am able to look at others karma.

Now i am asking myself, is this coming from a lack of self-confidence or might i have had issues with the abuse of power in another life?

Thanks so much for this timely offer and have a great time in Autralia.

heartfelt greetings form Mali,







Hi Everyone,

I'm currently working with a facilitator group in Byron Bay - but I've plenty of energy to spare for you all in the community Heart

I'm guiding people on how to regress people through karma. What have you got going on right now? I'll happily help you through an insight.

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji


Karma is beginning to manifest quite strongly in people committed to the path, and it's happening worldwide, which is a great sign. Karma is the reason people are manifested here, and provides the lessons to be worked through on the journey of self-realisation. So I felt to feature this article today...


9 Step Spiritual Healing Process for dealing with Subconscious Trauma and Karma
(scroll to the top)

Firstly, what is the difference between the usual Breakthrough Approach to processing density and then getting into karma?

Well although karma is what defines one's incarnation, it's unlikely to manifest visibly until plenty of the surface layers of identity have been broken down. Because karma is contained at a higher frequency - hence the soul must expand out of the lower densities first. So I suggest, in the beginning, using the simplified Breakthrough Approach when you're getting used to breaking through the layers of tightness pertaining to identity. But then after some time - perhaps a few years on the path - you might notice these intense patterns of activity coming up which seem to blow up general living circumstances into much deeper meaning. It's likely you're then getting below the surface layers of identity and into karma.

So what I felt to do, was to take the simplified Breakthrough Approach and consider the various stages of breakthrough more deeply, more intricately. So really the 9 step approach (above) is an expansion of the Breakthrough Approach. They're essentially the same, just that in the 9 step approach, there's deeper awareness brought to different aspects of the unfolding.

So I would encourage reading the article above, and if you have any questions about what I'm sharing, please feel free to ask below.

In loving support

Open HeartPraying Emoji



Thanks Open,

Coming from a Buddhist oriented background and having practised and academically studied Vipassana oriented approaches I found that the 5 Gateways offer an experiential and accessible form of inner-outer inquiry that can also be found (perhaps and sometimes verbalised slightly differently) in other 'spiritual' traditions.

For example, the kundalini phenomenon. I couldn't find anything relevant in the Theravada tradition - as yet - I am speaking with a senior teacher soon about it but found a lot in Tibetan tradition. There, they call it 'Tummo'. Very interesting. Along similar lines, I have found parallels for other Gateways in the Zen tradition.

It's very helpful and re-assuring to know that there is a guided inquiry in the 5 Gateways that is - this is important - accessible and clear for all people to take in. Often, this is not the case in more complex and loaded with cultural baggage traditions and approaches.

Of course, I am still working my way through it all and I find it very exciting!

With metta,



Hi Okpani,

5GATEWAYS is not actually a prescriptive route or a path. It's more a framework for inquiry.

Consider the direction is to climb a mountain - like pass into the Fifth Density for example.

There will be many different pathways to the 'top'. However we'll all pass through particular altitudes on the way to the summit.

5GATEWAYS is more about saying: when people have climbed the 5D mountain before, like Jesus and the Buddha for example, they describe things at particular 'altitudes' that others also climbing might relate to.

For example, I know people that have walked a Buddhist path, or a shamanic path, or worked a great deal with Vipassana and yoga, who've all passed through Transfiguration (full kundalini activation at the culmination of Gateway 3) and described it in similar ways.

Each Gateway is the passage through a particular density. So what it's really saying, is that if you recognise your soul's yearning is to ascend into the 5D, then here are the kinds of experiences you'll likely have as you pass through each density. It says nothing about the route you may personally take through them.

If in engaging with the 5GATEWAYS framework you end up efforting for an outcome, then in this regard, it's an excellent mirror - it reflects that this might be something you do and need to let go of.

On what ever path your consider yourself on, I would say it's absolutely fundamental to own your own reactions to it, to take sovereignty of the experiences YOU manifest. Then you will never fail, because this tightness, provides the very route along which to travel. This tightness IS what stands in the way of progression. And so we're blessed, when whatever method we're applying, reveals it.

Remember always, your pain is the place where the light enters.


Open <3


Hi Megha,

You said...

    "With work I am able to actually feel into the energy body between us. It is dark and dense energy and this person is extremely shut down . This is a very challenging interaction as I seem to either shut down (so as not to feel the intensity ) or get disturbed with various chakra sensations activated . We are both married and so he is not available to me to work karma with in a third dimensional sense."

This happens a great deal. Because of some mutual karma, the law of attraction draws you together. But frequently, the other person might not be ready to process and release. It doesn't have to stop you doing that though, even if the other isn't aware.

Let the proximity activate the feeling - then work into the feeling. Work to reclaim your soul sovereignty from the energy body that was formed between you.

You may find some situation arises where you're called to visibly reclaim your power, in how the relationship functions now. Yet without the other even realising it, you still reclaim your karmic power.

So you can still process.


Open <3

In reply to by Open


Hi Megha. I had the same experience where I felt I was physically flat lining into a life of acceptance as i felt i could not change my life circumstances. However, there was a bigger plan forming. My first love stepped in and gave me an electric shock to the point sparks were coming out of my head!!!! kundilini rising!!!! i did not care that I was in a relationship of 23 years...this experience felt right and we remained blissfully in a bubble of pure love for 3 months. However, I also checked into my shadow side back to my childhood - by inner child needed attention. I was repeating the same pattern from my teens as the damaged soul. However, the bubble burst when he felt not a good idea to continue the relationship as someone would get hurt. I persisted and persisted to the point my heart broke in two as I felt we were compatible on all levels. And the learning developed into self love and self worth. not behaving in a way that people expect me to be in order to meet their needs. The mould had been broken as I slowly reclaimed parts of myself from past and current relationships. Very painful learning experience and at the same time very powerful!!! I am no longer the same person. I have evolved and continue to do so.... we remain divinely connected.


Such a fascinating thread this is ! I have a question . There is someone at work I believe I have a deep karmic relationship with . His energy is quite dense but I feel the undeniable pull in my heart chakra that I have come to recognise as the calling card of karmic relationships . I once had a dream in which I was an oracle in Greece and he was the son of the Queen . I believe she too is incarnated as my boss at work( she is very maternal towards this man too) . With work I am able to actually feel into the energy body between us . It is dark and dense energy and this person is extremely shut down . This is a very challenging interaction as I seem to either shut down (so as not to feel the intensity ) or get disturbed with various chakra sensations activated . We are both married and so he is not available to me to work karma with in a third dimensional sense .
Since the only way out seems to be through ,I have really had to up my game :) . Thanks to the weird sidetrack my life has taken ,I am editing a lot more and have been spurred to do a lot of soul searching . Disengagement still eludes me though . Any insights are most welcome .


Hi Eduardo - these are great questions - important ones to raise.

The Openhand approach to Karma is to let it happen, let it arise by itself. Because it can't be pre-empted. It's actually supposed to catch you in a blind spot! Otherwise it tends not to feel real when you process it.

However, what we can do is turn up the volume on soul integration so karma activates by itself. Meditation is of course a great way to do this - so infusing soul, but without preconceived intention about where it will lead.

So the Breakthrough Breathing Meditation would be a great way to do that (for example) - or any other form of meditation that helps infuse soul.

What's going to happen then, is internal blockages will be activated as you follow the path. And these will project into your life circumstances - relationships, career, general living circumstances. A problem will kick off which causes tightness inside - that's when to apply this 9step healing process.

How do you know when it's complete?

In short, you will simply know!

What is likely to happen, is that you'll hit plateaus where everything feels okay. I'd suggest not trying to intentionally dig to find more at this point. Accept the rest, rejuvenation and relaxation. But then go back to the soul infusion meditation until more karma kicks off by itself.

I trust this helps

Open <3



First of all, reading this was very helpful. Thanks!

Open talks about processing karma that arises in a given ordinary situation. But can I intentionally sit down and process karma from past memories that I associate with my current limiting behaviours? If so, I have these questions:

1) When I know it's enough? I tried to follow these steps yesterday when intentionally confronting a memory from my childhood and I felt good and somewhat relieved. But how can I tell if this karma was fully processed? You know, I'm still on the beginning of my journey, so I don't have enough sensitivity to dig deep in my feelings (actually, I struggled a bit to shut up my mind chatting). Should I repeat the regression to this memory to reinforce the release?

2) Is it recommended to do this intentional cleaning as a daily routine? Yeah, I know that as I walk the Path my 'crap' gradually gets cleaned... but since I don't have many hours at my disposal to meditate, doing this may speed up the process, right? (of releasing karma)

Thank you.

*and sorry in advance for any english mistakes*


I will keep you all posted on developments!!!! Okpani


Hi Okpani and Wynde,

I'm really happy that you resonated. And thank you for the kind words. Let us know how you get on Okpani!



Use the music, sing it, play it, be it!! Be on Fire Opkani!!!

My go to music has changed tremendously over the years, back in the day it was almost always Thunderstruck by Ac/dc, but lately this one feels more right for me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvipPYFebWc

Also did you notice this article by Open, what jumps out at me regarding this fear were talking about here is how he describes it perfectly.
-What I've noticed is, that the more you commit to the exploration and revelation of self, the shorter the constricting bottlenecks last, and the more you expand with the flow coursing through you. It literally feels like a path of light is opening up before you- http://www.openhandweb.org/comment/25392#comment-25392



From Richards article....Check out these two articles by Olivia Goldhill. They show us how the Buddhist perspective of ever-changing self can be linked to Neuroscientific research and that our personalities change over the course of our lives. What is interesting about this second study is that most of the research out there suggests that personality is fairly stable. However, they have all been conducted up to middle age, and this study went all the way from ages 14-77. It suggest that the bigger changes in personality begin to happen after middle age. Of course this is the period in our lives when we will have to say goodbye to many of the people, objects and situations that we have identified with. It shows how losing these things can affect who we are. We may become different people as the things that we hold dear get ripped away from us.


Heyas Richard!! Those articles you wrote on fear are awesome! It is about death, which within itself is just an ending to something or another. How your dealing with your box though is brilliant. I like your web of identity too, the many facets of oneself gives a particular pin pointed view on who, how and why a person is the way they are. In turn just knowing you are that, but allowing yourself to be so much more and not confined to a pin point is freeing in and of itself.

Okpani, whatever helps you be free is priceless I say! You go Girl :)


Hi All. I do believe it is a past life memory has been triggered by the sweat lodge experience. I really do appreciate all the support and suggestions. To start the process I will also attending a NLP session then an indepth astrology reading to access this experience. I visualise a plant breaking the surface of earths crust as it grows in the direction of the SUN...I am that close!!! I will read the articles Richard. One Love Okpani


Hi Okpani, Wynde, AuntyAngel.

I feel you there. I myself had a past life experience of being kept in a box, and now I have a very big body which doesn't quite fit anywhere, so this is how I'm dealing with this Karma. It sounds really like some Karma has been triggered for you too Okpani.

I believe that most fear can be traced back to a fear of death - that is, the fear of the unknown, the fear of obliteration, the fear (as you said in your first post) of losing yourself.

To me, giving myself practice feeling these things can be hugely beneficial. One of my favourite ways to do this is to go out for a walk and find a place relatively free of danger, and then close my eyes and walk like this. It is a real test of stepping into the unknown and I don't last long, but it's a great opportunity to bring up this fear in a safe environment and work with it, knowing you can open your eyes at any moment.

The same could be applied to you - take yourself into a mock scenario where you feel trapped, unable to move, and work through the 9-step process. There are many ways to induce fear, particularly if it close to the surface as in your case.

Then I would ask myself - who am i in this scenario (e.g. being on the tube)? Which is the part of me that cannot be touched, that cannot be confined, that cannot be suppressed? Then I would get to know this part of me and try to be that in these scary scenarios.

Hope that helps. I'm actually in the middle of writing a series of articles on 'Overcoming fear by embracing death' if anyone's interested. The series has 2 parts so far and theres likely to be at least one more part on the way.



Love, Richard


Heyas AuntyAngel!

Opkani, use the distraction while working through your fear most definitely! I say anything that calms you and brings inner peace is well worth the effort.
The steps here are absolutely brilliant, just another reason for me to be thankful for finding this site. Think I'll write them down myself too and hand them out to my family/people that are going through life's moments/karmic trauma.

I was thinking last night about this and how poetic/synchronistic for me this is it too. Just Friday night I went to a family gathering and I was telling them that I was "quitting/going on vacation" from being the protector/guardian of them. That I'm getting to old for this sh.. Then my nephew was relaying all kinds of stories and others were chiming in etc.

So ok then! Okpani just always know you are never alone, everyone has moments of sweaty palms and internal convulsions. But this is your story, your life, your moment in time. Let your spirit shine and just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will get through this no matter what... Even if it takes an hour, week or whatever time you allow it.

Bless your Soul!!


As i read on I am enveloped in a wave of love that brings tears to my eyes. Just thinking of going on the tube makes my hands sweat and breathing speeds up. Yes there is a feeling of density and it feels very heavy. Using distraction is a great tool and thought of creating a tapestry while sitting on the tube. Going to print off the 9 steps and work through each one moving past 4 and 5. One Love Okpani


Hi Okpani and Wynde,
What a joy it is to witness your connection. Thank you. Yes, I can feel your fear.
My experience is that there is a subtle balance to be kept between infusing soul - there is so much that is not caught in the eddy current of fear - and confronting the fear head on.
So balancing music or walks in nature or dance or touch or wonderful food or whatever makes your heart sing with regressing back to the feeling you get in the tube. Maybe you don't have to go on the tube right now. The feeling is within you. Find a place you feel safe and then evoke the feeling you get on the tube and keep breathing. Keep softening. Get interested in how it feels - what tightens and keep breathing. Keep watching and feeling. It is just an experience, just energy, not you. Breath by breath. Take it slowly maybe. Little by little a day at a time. You will get there- it's a nine step process but it doesn't all have to happen in one bang. Just take the next step. You don't need to know the source of the pain or where you will end up right now you just need to be here and now - your experience in each moment is the key. The meditations on this website could be a great support. Go gently and slowly we are with you. You are not alone.


Your always welcome Okpani! You are working through this even though it may seem as if your not making any progress, even the very thought of doing anything about it is progress!! Never thought I would use this word - Density - but when the Density gets far to thick, have you tried just saying NO! HELL NO..?! If not, I give you permission to use my words hehe :) Make them up even, because your power can never be taken by anyone but yourself. Now I'm still learning the language of Openhand, so if my words don't seem quite as elegant or eloquent as most are then please forgive my somewhat crude mannerisms lol!
Density to me is thick dark energy that is easily dispelled, yet energy is the most beautiful symphony being played out universally. So with that being said, how about some music that soothes your soul? It is always possible to stop wherever you are and hear music everywhere. Even in a car going by because even that vehicle has its own energetic signature which is just another form music. People even, milling about and running to and fro have their own music, everything is music and you yourself are the most beautiful symphony.. Say that to yourself, scream it even.. I AM MUSIC and nothing can ever stop a melody from going forth. Nothing.
The Tube and Shakti I looked up online because I did not know what those terms were LOL, how awesome!! I learned something new, so thank you for that!!
btw: Im not a counselor or anything, Im just some random Woman running amok on planet earth that refuses to fear anything, even if it stops me in my tracks and I have to trudge, snail crawl through it!



Thank you Wynde for your kind words of comfort. This experience is so crippling to the point of none movement. I thought I could manage and face anything and anyone as I regained my Shakti. Sigh...I pause at this point...I do think about getting the tube and focus on internal strength then bottle out and either drive or get the bus making the journey extra longer. I know deep down I have to go through this wall but stop as to painful. As Open says...find the source of the pain and face it head on...but I do not know the source of this pain. I will remember your words as I venture forwards...One Love. Okpani


I feel your pain Okpani, I felt it all the way across the world it seems and well.. I get it, I understand and if you ever feel like you just need someone to just stand by you.. I am here. I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am.. But what does that ever matter huh?!! You are not alone.

Breathe, all will be well if you allow it to be well. Never be afraid to just say allowed, I have fear. Especially if people are nearby you. That is most definitely a moment in time when you allow others to soothe your soul and in turn you soothe theirs by sharing.

Ive faced head on fear's face in my life and until my last breath I will shout loud and roar to all who ever hear me.. Never fear anything or anyone.

I have learned something so completely extraordinary here in my month of visiting this website. Open talks alot about softening into oneself. At first this concept was very alien to me, but in practicing it and trying to maintain that it has helped part of my journey in staring down the many facets of pain I've stored up along the way. So if it helps, when you have a panic attack etc, just stop - breathe, look at all the facets that cause this anxiety and carry on when you and only you are able to.

I hope and pray this helps,


These panic attacks arrived after attending a sweat lodge last year September. I have used the tubes and have flown previously without worrying. During one of the rounds I felt trapped a day unable to breathe and clambered out of the lodge collapsing on the grass outside. I could not figure out what had happened as I was so looking forward to this experience as I moved along my path to total freedom and liberation..
Not quite. ..sigh...


Very timely. ...as I struggle through trying to overcome panic attacks on the tube and in lifts and planes ...any enclosed spaces I feel trapped in and unable to leave. I avoid using the tube and lift to avoid feeling this pain....and get stuck at this point. I fear I will lose myself and freak out and pass out. I need help at this point...any suggestions. One Love. Okpani


Hi Nivasha,

Thanks so much for sharing. It's very inspirational for others to hear how powerful it is to work through and transcend the subconscious density people hold within. You said...

    "I would like to iterate on an point that you made in one of your articles. That is to always be fully aware and understand what we asking for when we seek to confront our pain, to ascend, to connect and flow to Source."

Yes that's it - you can't connect to the flow for any length of time if repressed density is dragging you back! So get into it, work with it - process it out - and you'll be flying on the outstretched wings of the soul!


Open *OK*


Dear Open,

My gratitude for a truly succint and inspiring piece. It is always such great comfort to be reminded that this journey is not not mine alone and that as humanity we are facing our most rapid and enormous growth and we must be also congniscient of what little Souls we are indeed! Feels like the nerdy class :)

Open, I would like to iterate on an point that you made in one of your articles. That is to always be fully aware and understand what we asking for when we seek to confront our pain, to ascend, to connect and flow to Source. It has been very dark, and very painful and mostly because once I committed to my soul journey I was shown my mirror fully and naturally my broken bits were infected with this pain I speak of and I didn't even know I had those broken bits to begin with!

So hence I just wanted to say this, if I only knew back then what I was asking for! :)

I am grateful always. My pain has been and still is my greatest catalyst.

God Bless,




Many thanks Catherine for your post which I found most supportive & helpful. Yes, I agree with you that there is some part of me, that is projecting this idea of having to go faster & better, onto others including Open. It's something that I could well do with letting go of, & perhaps writing about it on this forum, & having it witnessed & "heard" by you & others, is a step towards that. I can be a very hard "task master" towards myself, cracking the whip & expecting/forcing myself to do things that are beyond my capabilities at this moment.

Many thanks Open for your understanding & your wise, supportive comments. Reading your post somehow took some of the pressure off me, & brought me a feeling of relief, contentment, that I'm doing OK. It's opened something up for me, which I can't quite put my finger on right now, but may be able to later.

After reading these 2 posts while I was out doing my voluntary job at the Credit Union, I came home & felt a pull to listen to some music that I find sad & was able to have a bit of a cry, to shed a few tears which I don't ordinarily find easy to do at all. I haven't listened to those particular tracks for a while, & it felt significant to do so, to release something, to let something go...

I appreciate these Openhand forums very much.




Hi Alex,

I totally understand where you're at. That's absolutely not a problem. Each person should go at the speed they feel able to manage. As long as you keep testing and exploring.

I believe 5GATEWAYS is the natural evolutionary path for everyone. It's simply 'calling' the ascensionary process as I see it. However, that doesn't mean everyone will be ready for it in this cycle.

It may well be that it will naturally come in other incarnations. And that's fine.

What I would say, is that we don't exactly promote this work. People are drawn to it for a reason. So something must have drawn you.

That said, if you felt your path lay elsewhere, in a different direction, then you must honour that too.

Wishing you well



Hi Alex,

My heart goes out to you. I've felt like a failure many times when I've pulled back, too fearful to go deeper. F___, it's so not easy! And for a good part of my life, I've often felt the need to go faster and better, which was a coping mechanism in my childhood and teenage years to both prove my worth and distract myself from the pain and the sadness of family dysfunction. Which I still do. at times. Thanks to Kim, my wonderful and stalwart coach, for helping me to realize this. Perhaps, deep down, you feel you must go faster and better like I do and then project that others are demanding this of you. I'm aware that I project this conditioned belief outwards whenever I feel that others are cracking the whip! All I see is a part of me. The outer mirror always reveals the state of my inner consciousness. I'm getting better at interrupting the blame game i.e. "You did this to me." How tempting is that ha!

Most of us have had strong and relentless societal conditioning around achieving outcomes and going full force to reach our goals. I experienced this recently while meditating, wanting desperately to stay in the Love/Light space I was feeling and kept losing due to distracted thoughts. And then feeling totally pissed off and frustrated. I go in and out of attachment to outcomes. I accept what Open says. That when we aim for enlightenment, we've already separated ourselves from Source. And, in general, when we try to control the flow, we separate ourselves from the divine flow. What a huge challenge that is. Letting go of control!

When all is said and done, what I truly feel is that we are all doing the best we can and that acceptance of where we're at, without judgment, is the key to letting the pain go. And there are no timelines to get to that space. Sometimes I resist. And sometimes I accept and find the doorway into the Light.

Take heart, my friend. As Open, says, it's not your fault. We're not to blame ourselves for our "shitty" conditioning, but we are responsible for letting it go. You've stepped up to the plate quite admirably. One day, you and I will look around and find that we're at Home Base.

Much Love to you,

x Catherine


Many thanks for your last response, Open. I initially had an angry reaction to reading it, like I felt you didn't understand or weren't hearing me correctly.

After 3 days of pondering, my anger has now subsided & I can now respond to your post in a more calm & detached way.

During the experience I described in my post above, & in my longer post on the "Alex's Experiences" thread, I mentioned how I'd "felt into" my painful, acute feelings of envy, which seemed like a "surface level" experience, & had then briefly touched the emotion of despair, which seemed to me to be the "source pain".

You wrote:

"The deep subconscious source pain, once you get through this fizz, may only begin as a slight vibration - barely recognisable as anything. But this is where you need to be."

I understand & agree with your suggestions, but my point was that it was difficult enough for me to do what I did on that day - to feel into my envy & briefly touch my source pain of despair - although I think it may even be that the despair isn't yet my true source pain, but a "stepping stone" towards that.

For me, it felt like progress just to get to that far, it's like my "being" won't let me go any faster, much as I'd like that. I seem to have some internal self-regulating mechanism that will only allow me to experience a certain level of pain at a given moment in a given situation, & will then "shut down" the pain by some "distraction" as you call it - numbing out, boredom, depression, anger or rage. This is something I appear to have no control over - I can't force myself to experience more pain (or to "dive into" it as you so often say) - it just doesn't work that way for me.

The analogy that comes to mind is trying to drive a car by depressing the gas pedal when the brake pedal has been strongly applied - however much gas you apply, the car will slow down & stop because the brakes are more powerful than the engine. In my analogy depressing the gas pedal is my attempt to feel into (or dive into) my source pain, & depressing the brake pedal is my unconscious & automatic self-regulating mechanism of shutting down the pain when it becomes intolerable.

Another way of putting it might be that my resistances to "diving into" the pain are still much greater than my willingness (or desire?) to do so.

You might be one of those fortunate people who can just "dive into" their source pain, but I am not. Believe me I've tried, in various ways over the last 20 years or so to do just that, initially through various forms of psychotherapy & more recently through more spiritual approaches, including most recently, the Openhand approach as described in your article above.

My intuition tells me that I will experience a breakthrough with this at some stage (perhaps that will be what you describe as passing through Gateway 1), that I will be able to go fully into my source pain & through that into presence, but for me it's slow progress - one step at a time.

I sometimes wonder, if I'm honest, whether the 5 Gateways sequence will be the one I experience, or whether my spiritual path will take me on another route. I sense that "trying too hard" to follow the 5 Gateways model might be counter-productive for me - seeking a particular outcome, when the Universe might have a different way for my soul to evolve & self-realise. That last part was a bit difficult for me to admit & to share on this forum.

It's been a recurrent theme for me that I've experienced spiritual practitioners & others pushing me (or pressurising me) to go faster in my process than feels right for me. Ultimately, I have to decide for myself how quickly I can go. There may be hidden karmic or other reasons for my apparent slow progress, & I don't mean to say that to excuse myself from anything.

Nevertheless, I'm glad that I'm part of the Openhand Community, & I do appreciate & welcome your comments & suggestions, Open, & those of others on the forums too.



In reply to by StarHawk


Hi Alex. I have attended OPEN HAND retreat. SINCE 2015 WHAT HAS CHANGED?

.......I sometimes wonder, if I'm honest, whether the 5 Gateways sequence will be the one I experience, or whether my spiritual path will take me on another route. I sense that "trying too hard" to follow the 5 Gateways model might be counter-productive for me - seeking a particular outcome, when the Universe might have a different way for my soul to evolve & self-realise. That last part was a bit difficult for me to admit & to share on this forum.....

......There may be hidden karmic or other reasons for my apparent slow progress, & I don't mean to say that to excuse myself from anything.....

TRIGGERS can take YOU to the source of your pain and help you understand where they come from.

why did it take you 3 days to calm down? what are YOU REALLY angry about?

but for me it's slow progress - one step at a time - baby steps.

because you use the example of a car - did anything happen to you involving a car?

internal self-regulating mechanism that will only allow me to experience a certain level of pain at a given moment in a given situation.









Hi Alex,

Please don't take this the wrong way, and I know it's not easy, but despite the past advice, you're still missing the basic point: that to distract yourself from the feeling is avoidance and therefore you won't get into the underlying source pain. This is a consistent thing you keep doing - it seems to be some kind of program you've picked up from previous processes elsewhere - it's not your fault, it's a limitation I observe is prevalent in the spiritual mainstream: that of trying to change reality into something more favourable to the ego.

You said...

    I felt the pull to honour & express the pain of the envy by doing some of my creative drawing. The source pain then revealed itself as despair. However, when I got in touch with this despair, it felt difficult to stay with that feeling, & I became aware that I was starting to "numb it out", to move into my default of boredom & depression.

"Expressing the Pain" means to be in the pain. In this case envy. To let yourself feel into it.

What I've noticed you do, is that once you start to get anywhere near anything that's truly, deeply embedded, you tend to go into an emotional/psychological reaction which takes you out of the possibility to actually feel into the pain. Previously I've called it "the fizz" that distracts from the deep subconscious.

The deep subconscious source pain, once you get through this fizz, may only begin as a slight vibration - barely recognisable as anything. But this is where you need to be. It feels like boredom is another reaction that prevents full exploration of the moment.

This is what I've been working to get at within your process.

Open :-)


I've just attempted the 9 step process regarding my feelings of envy, & got stuck (lost?) at step 4.

Step 1 was to accept & acknowledge my envy, which I did by writing my post on my thread Alex's Experiences.

Step 2 is something I'm very experienced in, as I've done many years of regressive therapy, so that came quite naturally as a result.

With step 3, I felt the pull to honour & express the pain of the envy by doing some of my creative drawing. The source pain then revealed itself as despair. However, when I got in touch with this despair, it felt difficult to stay with that feeling, & I became aware that I was starting to "numb it out", to move into my default of boredom & depression.

Therefore, I couldn't (wouldn't?) allow the source pain to reach it's height, which is what step 4 entails. I'm now left feeling that I'm a failure - I can't do these steps successfully or properly.

Perhaps my despair feels too "big" to dive into, or I don't know how to dive into it, or I'm too scared to dive into it, or there's some kind of other obstacle preventing me from diving into it.

It's easy for you, Open, to say "dive into your source pain" - but just how do I do that when I just can't see (or know) HOW???

I probably need to book another session with my Openhand spiritual coach.

A frustrated Alex


I find your 9 step spiritual healing process most useful & insightful, Open, so thanks also from me for the reminder. I've just printed it out on a single sheet of paper & will pin it to my kitchen cupboards where I will see it a lot, & it can act as a reminder when I get lost or confused, as to the way forward on my path of spiritual healing & self-realisation.



A timely reminder.
Thank you, Open.